Tom and Kathryn
Introductory Notes : Why is Kathryn so hard on Tom in "Thirty Days"? Yes, he's guilty of everything he's accused of, but the entire bridge crew has been guilty of much the same at some point. And the Captain herself has done much the same on more than one occasion. So, why? Well, first, she's the Captain. She's allowed and expected to make command decisions which sometimes break a few rules...Lieutenants do not have this privilege nor this responsibility. And, second, Tom was much more public and blatant than the others - he didn't just disobey her, he defied her. And he even had the audacity to feel bad about it. He desperately wanted her to understand. And she did, but she couldn't allow the chain of command to break, even for the one person she'd likely break every rule for if she weren't the Captain. "Thirty Days" doesn't only show Tom and Janeway at odds, it also shows Tom and Kathryn with their guards down, if ever so briefly and with almost tragic consequences. While Tom reconciles some of his feelings towards his father, he also reconciles those same feelings he has directed towards Janeway. But there remains a rift between Tom and Kathryn. Thus, the song. (one special note; this song was written by a Japanese duo, i have reprinted the lyrics exactly as they appear in the liner notes...sometimes it's a little strange)
I know, I
know I've let you down
I've been a fool to myself
I thought that I could live for no one else
But now thru all the hurt & pain
It's time for me to respect the ones you love mean more than
anything
So with
sadness in my heart
(I) feel the best thing I could do
Is end it all and leave forever
What's done is done it feels so bad
What once was happy now is sad
I'll never love again
My world is ending
I wish
that I could turn back time
Cos now the guilt is all mine
Can't live without the trust from those you love
I know we can't forget the past
You can't forget love & pride
Because of that it's kill in me inside
It all
returns to nothing, it all comes
Tumbling down, tumbling down, tumbling down
It all returns to nothing, I just keep
Letting me down, letting me down, letting me down
In my
heart of hearts
I know that I called never love again
I've lost everything
Everything
Everything that matters to me, matters in this world
I wish
that I could turn back time
Cos now the guilt is all mine
Can't live without the trust from those you love
I know we can't forget the past
You can't forget love & pride
Because of that it's kill in me inside
It all
returns to nothing, it all comes
Tumbling down, tumbling down, tumbling down
It all returns to nothing, I just keep
Letting me down, letting me down, letting me down
It all returns to nothing, it all comes
Tumbling down, tumbling down, tumbling down
It all returns to nothing, I just keep
Letting me down, letting me down, letting me down
-"Evangelion-Vox";
lyrics by Hideaki Anno and Mike Wyzgowski/music by Shiro Sagisu
Performed by LOREN with the London Gospel Choir
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