MoBiLe MsG's
*NEWSFLASH* scientists have made a breakthrough and discovered that the female gender carry intelligent cells. Unfortunately 95% of them spit it out.
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*NEWSFLASH* an independant study has proven that those who have a bad sex life abd are crap in bed are reading this msg in their right hand.
*NEWSFLASH* snow white has been chucked out of disney land.She was reported to have pulled up her skirt, sat on pinocchio's face and shouted "LIE BARSTED LIE"
Some day you may lose ur hair. U may lose ur teeth, ur money and even lose ur mind....but 1 thing u will never lose is ur good looks cuz u can't lose what u don't have!
What's rough n hairy on the outside and soft and wet on the inside. It starts with a C ends in T and has a U and N in it?....Answer- a coconut u pervert.
At 1st a nibble- a slow and tempting lick. I suck and munch my liquid lunch and then i swallow quick! CADBURYS CREAM EGG HOW DO U EAT UR'S?
Girls r like phones. We like to b held and talked too- but if u press the wrong button u'll b disconected.
A train is about to crash! A frantic virgin strips of and says "can ne1 make me feel like a woman b4 i die?" So a man takes off his clothes and says "iron these!"
Y MEN R LIKE COMPUTERS: 1) there useless till u turn them on. 2) they have lots of data but r still clueless.3) as soon as you pick 1 a better model cums on the market!
Today it's cool to have small cars and small phones. Soon it will be cool to have a small penis too....then my friend u will b THE MAN!
Why do women have orgasims during sex???? It gives them sumthing to moan about when they are fucking enjoying themselves.
If you had sex 356 times in 12 months and u melted down the condoms to make a tyre, what would u call it?........A FUCKING GOOD YEAR!
Telstra mobile regrets to inform u that the network has gone down on every1 but u. We regret to inform u that no one would go down on u.....not even a network.
I asked god 4 a flower and he gave me a garden. I asked god 4 a tree and he gave me a forest. I asked god 4 a cunt and he gave me ur numba.
Old mother hubbard wen to the cupboard to fetch her poor dog a bone. But when she bent over Rover took over and gave her a bone of his own!
A jelly baby goes to the doctor and says "Doctor i've got aids" Doctor replys "U can't have aids ur a jelly baby" Jelly baby says "yes, but doctor i've been shagging allsorts!
A blond girl has a car crash and an ambulance arrives. The parramadic asks "How many fingers have i got up?" the blond replies "Oh shit! I think i'm paralised too.
Bad wolf told red riding hood "lift up ur top so i can suck ur tits" "NO" she says lifting up her skirt...."Eat me like the book says!"
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