Jap1

Hey! Whazzup?!?!? Well, here I am�. 19 G! Air Canada International Flight #893 to Osaka International Kansai Airport. Estimated flight time remaining, approximately 12 hours and I�ve already been in this seat for about three. Its almost 2:45(Toronto time) in the afternoon of September 14th 2000 and I�m just past the point of being totally pumped.
This morning was an emotional high, driving down in our little white car from our little Muskoka townhouse with my mom, I thought I was going to burst I was so excited! My mom check listed EVERYTHING before I left. She�s great, she bought gifts for all the people that I�ll meet when I�m over there, and for everyone in both my host families, Randy and I packed them last night and they take up a whole suitcase by themselves. I have that suitcase and another one with my clothes and French books in it, and then an overflowing carry on backpack that�s blocking all the foot room I have in this tin can.
There�s a really bad in flight movie on right now about bank robbery I�m not following the plot, though I was listening to the Japanese translation on my headset for a while. I�m just restless so it seems to be taking 300 000 years for every moment to pass. I�m kind of angry with myself because I left my favorite song in the in the D: drive of my computer last night when I was repacking. At least if I had that, I could zone out for a while.
We already ate, and I must admit that I�ve disobeyed the cardinal rule of in-flight dining, I had the FISH! My brother Dave would be shaking his head at me now if he knew. It wasn�t that bad� well, I guess it really was, but I wasn�t really hungry anyway, and yes, I�ll probably be wishing I ate it later on.
It seems that everything reminds me of Randy. I just saw a guy in the movie wearing a �wife-beater� tank shirt and though of him. I hope that doesn�t become a trend for the entire trip, or I might end up one very distraught girl. I tried to call him on his cell phone before I boarded, but he�d turned it off. He was probably in class.
I hate re-circulated air it makes my nostrils dry.
Hey, I slept a little, maybe an hours worth, but I�ve already lost track of times. I�m somewhere over the International Date Line now I think. My ears are all cauliflower-y from the headphones. I�ve barely taken them off. Darn, Alanis Morrisette, they really should record some new in-flight radio. I watched part of 28 Days (with Sandra Bullock) but I�m too restless to really focus on anything.
I�m writing now at a quarter to seven. It�s a Thursday; Marissa�s first dance is tonight. I hope everything goes perfectly and the dance committee & Mrs. Medysky (The school principal) help her out with it. I hope the girls go. They are the Japanese component of our little inter-school exchange. There are two of them Paula, and Junko (who is staying at my house) my mom will probably make them go. It�s the �aloha� dance, I hope she�s got Leis. Probably not. I worry about that stuff, my mother worries about me worrying so much. She�s probably right you know. I�ve got to go to school next year, so I�d better reform by then and just deal with what�s really important.
These people sleep like you wouldn�t believe. I�m really sort of frustrated, the lady just brought around some snacks, and I asked for noodles instead of a sandwich and she was like �Oh, and you might need this dear..� Offering me a spoon instead of Ohashi (chopsticks). A SPOON!!!! Do I really look like that much of a tourist?
I�m halfway there or more by now, and I haven�t even opened my little Japanese language book. There is a school group on board from Ontario somewhere. I think Oakville. It�s a music exchange I think, which reminds me that I have to get some good architectural shots. I want to do that, Architecture and Design. I know I can. I have a strong background in art and technology. The only set back for me is math. Maybe something more theatre related would be good. I could certainly do what Randy is doing in college (theatre tech), but I want my own building. Yes, maybe that is selfish and far-fetched of me, but its what I want, that or like set design. That�d be cool, something people will see and be stupefied by. I want to make beautiful things happen. Bring dreams to life. I�m the dreamer I�m the biggest geek in the sky at least. Maybe in the atmosphere of the earth, see its getting worse.
I couldn�t teach for a living, I know that. That�s probably what I�ll end up doing, but I�d really rather not.
The dance opens in one minute. I hope there�s music playing and money and pop and people to manage both and lineups of people that want to go in stretching to Beechgrove!
Extreme machines is on, with Japanese (Nihongo) subtitles. I�m going to seize the next few hours to brush up on my Japanese or sleep or, well, whatever happens first.
I�m staying at Tokowa�s house first. I met her this summer, she was in the class I was T.A.�ing for. I remember her as a particularly immature girl, and I don�t think she really liked me, so it should be fun. I�ll try to make the best of it and have a good time. I�ve worked with the girls for four years, but this is a whole new playing field and therefore, a whole new ballgame.
I�m going to have an awesome time, I thought by now, I�d be scared, or paranoid, or excited, or SOMETHING! But I�m not really. I�m just Kirsi.
*Epiphany!
Every original plot, thought or invention is a derivative of many others. So every idea before is layered like a complex, inverted pyramid of thought. Originating very simply, but then, when our minds are ready, or crazy enough, we can accept the inevitable combination of what ideas we�ve most recently been exposed to. Most of it, is just processed waste that serves no more automatic purpose and is seemingly redundant, but in time, even that may be revisited at another time and used to form more complex, imperative and guided realizations. If these layers keep being built upon, does that mean that our brains or brain capacity has to get larger or more complex, or do we spread the information out among ourselves�? We DO! Don�t we?! We have professions, and specialists and authors and books and records. So as of yet, we haven�t exhausted ourselves with useless information. Will we plateau? When we�ve created for ourselves a concrete enough (term used both literally and theoretically) society with enough (seemingly) untouchable logged information that we build ourselves machines and computers and formulaic dramas and popular culture begins to overtake and we get more and more shallow and we pay more attention to music and media than to politics that that becomes what is really important. To the point where we and future generations become so dependant on disposable technology that we reverse and forget lose computer files and and burn our foundations until everything that created our society and all the original ideas and all those in between are ignored long enough to be forgotten. We fall back into the simplest days, doing only what we must to survive. Allowing the earth, (over a long time frame) to recycle itself until we get bored enough to once again start asking questions, only to find that all the answers we once had have deteriorated and we have to start anew from the first. A recycled society. A social re-evolution. The human population is a giant complex genetic structure. We created the computer to store the overflow, using the info we had to contain and build it.
Is this the plateau question??
If I explain this, will it begin the deterioration process of the cycle?
Is that bad?
If this is true, what is progress, and why do we have war?
Must there be some complete definitive destruction to erase us before the cycle progresses?
Is the �progress� really in creating the perfect society?
Are we the first attempt?
Who�s pulling the strings?
Is anyone or is it complete chaos? No. Can�t be, or our entire history would have been but an unrecorded experiment.
Who or are we just as in Genocide, simply Aiua�s who were looking for something to do so they got together and hatched out a role playing game that was incredibly popular and as more joined got more and more complex and now they are at the near-final stages of the game, bored after realizing that no-one can win.
Can one win?
What would winning be?
What would the reward be? Purely satisfaction, or honor or something more, power?
Does the winner have the power of creating the specifications of the next society?
Will my brain explode if I ask another question?

It�s been about twelve hours since I got on the plane. It seems like much less, but by re-reading what I just spewed, I assume that it�s been long enough. I�m crying over a big hunk of the Bearing Sea and I�m not sure why. I�m far too emotional. Heh, this is great, they have a little computer image on the monitors that pop up once in a while and tell us where we are, and give a little information about the temperature outside and the length of time we�ve got left to go. It�s really cute. I could just watch that little plane inch along forever. We went over a little bit of Alaska to get here. It doesn�t really make sense why we�d go up in latitude, but I guess there�s a wind shift that way or something. I guess all that matters is that we get there right?!
As I sit here, I am trying to figure out what I�m doing. I�m on this plane, going to this foreign country where all I�m really able to say is �nice to meet you� and �where�s the bathroom� . I can speak two languages fluently, Japanese is not one of them. Europe would be a breeze because of my French immersion background.
Ah, damn, I heard Itadakimasu over the P.A. That�s kind of like a Japanese way to say grace. There are windows opening on either sides of my middle column aisle seat. I guess we�re going to have some breakfast, or dinner� I doubt if it matters to my system by now. Its really about 11 P.M. to me but local time, is 2 in the afternoon. Local to where? We�re in the middle of the ocean still! It smells like food, nothing specific, I miss my dad. I�m totally going to run out of paper before the end of the week!
Alright! We get warm towelettes! The old man next to me just spread his over his face, yeah, I�m liking this culture already! Time to fill out my embarkation card.
Yeah, well, I did that. I�m off the plane now and I�m in my (ie:) Tokowa�s room. Sprawled as well as I can be on her bed. The city is like nothing I�ve ever seen, its like a concrete forest with skinny little buildings poking up past the fifteen foot high gardrail. You go on overpasses but not only do they pass over roadways, they pass over city sections. After crossing the bridge to Osaka, we went to Ken�s (My new host big brother) school, and dropped him off for rugby. Its raining now, so I wonder how well they�re doing. The reception I got at the airport was overwhelming (maybe because of the jet-lag), but it was really nice. I got flowers from my host family, and almost my whole first host family was there. I have yet to meet Tokowa�s little brother Kai. My host mother (Okawasan) and father (Oto-osan) have both been trying very hard already to speak in english to me, and I hope that by the time I leave here, I�ll be able to speak enough japanese for us not to have to use their little pocket dictionary computer.
On the way home (it doesn�t really feel like home yet, but I�m sure soon it will), we stopped at Tokowa�s grandmother�s (Oba-achan) house and I met her, she was really good humored and funny. We taught her how to say �See ya� which I�ve since learned is (matta ne) in japanese. She lives in an apartement on the third floor, by herself, it smells like incense and was very comfortable inside because of the humid weather.
My host house is not exactly a house, but two separate small apartements. The one that my �room� is in is on the third floor and its also where Kenshin (Ken) and Tokowa sleep. There is a laundry room in what would be the bathroom but otherwise its mostly just bedrooms. Upstairs is what they call the �house�. It is the same size as downstairs, but has the shower, kitchen living room (which is also my host parents bedroom) and Kai�s room. That is where I am now.
I met Kai a little while ago, he is very cute, he�s cross-eyed a little, and his eyelid on the left doesn�t close all the way, so when he fell asleep on the carpet a few minutes ago, Tokowa was giggling at his half-opened eye saying how cute it made him look. He�s full of engery, but still shy. I think he�s afraid of me because I don�t speak japanese. He�s thirteen so what can you expect. I�d have been shy then too.
I�m really tired. I called mom and randy and they�re both doing well, and glad to hear from me. I can�t keep my eyes open. I had a little rice to eat, but I�m exhausted so I think I�ll go downstairs and crash. I have a half day of school tomorrow and I�ve been informed that I have to give a quick speech to introduce myself too. I�ll be in the 2B class (Tokowa�s class) and they are apparently going to give a little party for me. I�m looking foraward to it very much. Its all very exciting.
The strangest thing I�ve decided, about Japan, is the height of things. The doorframes here are about 3 inches shorter and 2 inches wider than at home, and I actually felt myself duck as I entered the kitchen (without those three inches, its still about 4 inches above my head). Its really strange, its like living on the seven and a halfth floor in that Malcovich movie. Goodnight (Oiasumi Nasai), or good morning, I forget.

09/16/-

Ohayo Gizaimasu! (good morning)

Watakushi no namae wa (My name is) Kirsi Hastings desu.

Junana sai desu. (I am 17 years old)

Canada Kara Kimashita (I am Canadian)

Yoroshiku Onegaishimasu. (I am very glad to be here)

Followed by:

I am very happy to be here in Osaka, attending Takki International High School. I hope I meet many new friends here. Thank you for having me, please, also, I would appreciate any help speaking Japanese.

Domo Arigato Gozaimasu!

Kinda weak huh? Yeah, well it was like seven in the morning and I wrote it on the train. Damn, my first chance to critique the local transport system, and I don�t get to pay attention. It�s a Sunday, so it wasn�t busy. We go to school every second Sunday here, and all sataurdays.
Its 8:20 A.M. now, and I�m in Mr. Fukui�s office. He is the headmaster of the school. I feel better, I had my hearty breakfast of toast and eggs (yup, pretty americanized huh?) and I�m feeling almost awake. My mom will be dissapointed that I didn�t get to eat miso soup! Oh, well.
Mrs. Sakata is very nice, she is in charge of me while I�m here. I told her my mother wants to buy me a uniform, and she said that I can borrow one from them. I don�t really have any school worthy clothes, other than what I�m wearing today, so I guess borrowing is the thing to do. I miss my school. So far I�ve seen Maki, and Naoko and those are the only people I recognise from this summers exchange.
I gave my speech, and now I�m in 2B homeroom. The whole student body, teachers and my homeroom class were there in the third floor gym. Pretty intimidating, but I met up with Carl who is one of the american-english teachers here at the school (whom I met just this summer, at home). Chitzuko is the homeroom teacher, she is very kind. I am sitting in the rear in my desk. I am wearing my Uagouthu (inside slippers) that are ver new and very white other than the Canadian flags are marker prints of my name on them. Mine are like Mr. Clean supreme white compared to everyone. I like it here and feel very welcomed ie. Yokoso. Karana think�s I�m Baka because I want to wear a uniform to school. They are deciding who will do what for school cultural festival on the 8th & 9th of October. Outside it is shikke no oi (humid) and Kumori (cloudy)
Mushiatsui - hot & humid.

09/17/-

Hey. It�s been a while eh? Well it�s 6:30 in the morning here. I went to bed around 9 last night after calling mom and having anegeid for dinner with ramen noodles. I love noodles. Kai�s and awesome kid. He, Toko and I all played ball last night in the piano room and Uno. I think Ken is staying at his grandmother�s house since she lives very close to his high school. We also went there yesterday and watched Olympic Judo. Japanese kicked butt. In the 46kg division women, Tamura won over the Russian chick and a German and tied for bronze. Today we are going shopping for my lunch box, and then we will meet Tokowa�s other grandmother and maybe (Tabun) Mayumi Okano to go to Osaka Castle. I�m feeling a little bit hungry and am debating upon weather or not to eat this Nango (apple). Or I could sleep, eh. We�ll see.
Nope, couldn�t sleep. Read a bit of my new book by William Gibson. Goddamn I love Randy! I just looked at my schedule and I think once I get into the system here Time�s gonna zip by. I think I can get used to the food as well. I wonder what we will do in music class tomorrow morning? Maybe sin. I doubt they�ll use instruments in Music class. It�s a very beautiful day. Two ladies just walked by with umbrellas to shade themselves from the sun. I�m not homsesick. Dad�s not home. I wish Randy were here though, that�d be cool. It�s almost 8 in the morning, I think Ogawasan will wake us soon.
Hey. Cereal for breakfast, nothing beats that. Called Randy, he�s good. Finished his prompt book. Miss him. Then we booted off the bus station and then took the train the rest of the way and went to experience Osaka-Jo (Osaka Castle). I took tonnes of pictues, don�t worry. Then we went to McDonalds for lunch and I had my Big Mac & everyone else had Teryaki burgers. Pork. Yup, explained that today. The whole thinnng about getting a pig. Ok. I�m falling asleep while I�m writing I think that�s a sign to summarize this summary. So then we shopped, walked, took train, bought me a lunch box which was and I suppose still is suprizingly tiny. Ok. I�m going to bed. Hey Okawasan is awesome. Everyone has been quizing my English. Kai�s a cool little guy and Kenshi, well, Ken�s something special.

09/18/-

I slept pretty well. Even though it�s five thirty in the morning and I don�t have to get up until 6:30 (roku ju san). My hands are clammy and sweaty, don�t know why. I wonder what we will taberu (eat) for asagoham (brekkie). Isogu! Isogu! (hurry) I�m hungry. Damn. I write later�..take care?
Atsui! Mecha Atsu! We just took the rush train and it was busy, but bearable. I had expected much worse than that. I�m all sweaty etc. in my uniform. I�ve got to buy a couple of those little face cloths. It�s that kind of weather, and I need a few basic while bra�s since this uniform is entirely see-through. I like the fall/winter much better than the spring/summer, then I won�t care what bra I wear. Yup, that�s right folks, my worst fears materalized, I care what people think of me, just like my mother hoped. AO. Blue none of that Canadian aou!
I�m in Leanna�s class right now, ECC I guess. They think I�ve got a little face. Kaogai. Nihongo Muzokashi. I am taking to Miyuki and she is helping me. It is a Himizu (secret). After Leanna�s class, I went to Gym and made a mess of my clutz /self by falling on my face when I was running. I was with the 1C class and Yukiko Daimon my next host sister, and I think my inate clutziness scared her a little . She is very nice though. Next I ate a bit of my (awesomely dichie) lunch and booted off to the Hormono fishing kinfe factory museum on an �exploring Osaka� tour with 2F class. We had takuyaki for dinner. It was good not espite the taco ie. Octopus in it. Speaking of puss, my kness was pussing a bit so now there are about 300 bandaid compedes on both knees and I only have three left. I did however, send & read some of my emails on my spare. Heh, I get a spare! Tomorrow I�ve got art class etc. That�s� coo with me yo. Man, what�s with my writing. Gah! Tonight after school, Toko Mayomo, O, and Mai all went to take Piricura�s at the mall. I�ve got about 600 of me in my pocket now. Goodnight. Ow. Itaile Kanai! Ow. Goodnight.

09/19/-

Hi. I�m at school, had pizza toasts for brekkie and am wearing my own socks since I haven�t yet had the chance to buy new onces and my others are bloodstained in the washing machine. I finally bought some new socks 2 pr. I�ve 3 now and surprzie surprize, Kyoko and Aiko came and Takii to say hi! I almost fell out of my slippers! We chatted and they�re both awesome. Kyoko looks healthy as ever and even has a boyriend whom I have a piricura of in my agenda. Aiko os going to university as we.l both doing general studies. They rock! I had my first of a lot of things tonight. I had miso soup for the first time this trip, my first shower, my first bedet, my first Japanese style toilet, my first Japanese lesson on and on it goes. Tomorrow, I�ll take home the box full of uniform from Kyoko. I�m figgin tired. I showed Otoosan the picture album, but now I can�t find my schedule! Gah! I tink I have gym tomorrow so I�m going take some clothes in case, and maybe those pamphlets on Gravenhurst for whoever�s OCB class. I might haps upon. Dman, one week from today, I�ll be in Tokyo! Segoye! I�m gonna reand them sleep, oh, Randy sent me my story. Yea, I love him very much. Goodnight sweets tickets! Don�t be shy Hajimemashite.

09/20/-

Hello my honey, hello my baby, hello my ragtime gal! I feel great having read some of the chronicles last night. I�m at school a place that is becoming quite like, a well, 4th home, after my school is my second home and maybe Ogawa�s is my thirds home. I�ve finally had miso soup & yohan for brekkie, mom�ll be happy to hear that. Gah! What�s that I hear? Erica is coming to Japan next year? Damn, world traveller! I�ve just come from the 1C gym class and Ayako is hillarious, we were doing the robot dance and miming and etc. I�ve got an empty stomach ready for onnegaidy! I helped in Erics class for OCB and Carls OCC. Damn! I want some O�Cha too! Jensai is teaching math and I�m nearly asleep. Sorry. I�m gonna keep writing because this math I t hink is a bit above my level. I�m glad I�m not taking that fourmer course though. I�ve never actually done this, simile and nodded through a class. She�s trying to include me. Yup, she just slipped �natural #�s� intoer her lesson and they all looked at me funny. Hopefully I�ll be able to check my email tonight on my free period. I wish I had a copy of the chronicles, maybe I�ll make one. I�ll never understand why here where the technology originated they are so far behind. Takki�s computer lab ain�t no silicon vally! I�m a total celeb. I�ve spotted tonnes of students from last year and Miwa & Mayu signed my slippers! Yay! I have yet to see Chituka though, Armthuru. Lenna asigned me for homework too! Ah!!! Onwards and upwards. We ate some Japanese �fast food� ie. running sushi where the places rotate around on what looks likea mini baggage console. I think my favourite was the tuna (raw on rice) or the eel.
I just finished my homework and I wanan go to sleep like you couldn�t believe. I�m calling Randy tomorrow morning which is night there. He�d better be there. I hope he emails me to ben�s coolmail cause hotmail�s lazy. Darnit. Bedtime. Shower firsten then..oh we also visited the family ancestors, awesome!

09/21/-

Geography Yup that�s all that happened today folks!
It was a busy on and even though I had 2 free periods it went by like snap! I�m incredibly tired because I think Toko & I got about 4 hours of sleep last night! Geography was good today, as was everything else , so good that I didn�t write . I had Japanese culture class and we did a tea ceremony and learned how to wear Ukata�s etc. Like very much I�m on the phone w/ Randy it�s 8:30 (7:30 there) All�s well. Paula has moved to Erica�s house. Mom�s happy cause now she�s got back up in her endeavours. Tomorrow I�m doing an active listening activiity with one of the classes who are doing a speaking test, Eric�ll have me prepped I hope. Ghotto Mattax Ojisan! Damn, I giggle like a Japanese school girl when I think or say that! Uncle Just Wait! They found a package of his promo stuff under a denwa near takii station. I have a �Ghotto Mate Ojisan� bell on my backpack. It�s a totally mysterious 2-B phenomenon, and it�s the funniest thing since Bwie! Yes that�s right folks, Bwie! :V: on Tokowa Ogawa�s Blouse! (Alright well� I�d better explain that. My friend Toko, wears a size medium, but on the tag on her blouse when I was looking for my large blouse, I couldn�t figure out who�s it was because it was badly printed, and looked like a V. Well� Tokowa was trying to say v, and could only pronounce, Bwie. Now you know.) Darnit, I�m tired. Once toko gets her translation homework finished we can go to sleep or piricura, she�s yet to shower too.

HOLY SMOKES!! IT�S THE 24TH ALREADY!
(Here�s a quick run down of what I neglected to write about)

Friday:
1st Period- Sakata Sensai�s 1A English. A Question and Answer session about� ME! I explained how things work in Canada to all the first years, and they (though they are all really quiet) were fairly interested. I know that they were listening, because here in Japan, when they don�t want to listen, they fall asleep. But Wait! Get this! One of the questions was� �Have you ever loved a man?� Well, how do you give a class full of foreign 15 year olds a straight answer to that?
2nd Period- 2B Music. We watched �The sound of music� (in english) and then sang along. Pretty different from GHS music huh?
3rd Period- My personal Japanese course with Ogawa Sensai. He moves a little bit fast for me, I�m still trying to figure out my �Mo��s and he�s kickin� into the �To��s! Regardless, Japanese fascinates me.
4th Period- Japanese Caligraphy! Pretty Snazzy! I wrote �Canada, Nihon, Kirsi, and Osaka� In Kanji, the letter system with like 600 characters.
5th Period- Japanese with Watanabe Sensai.. He�s not an english scholar by any means. He teaches Japanese to the students ere on a regular basis, so basically, what we do in class, is he talks, and I try to figure it out. Its pretty cool actually. A little bit out of my comfort zone, a little bit intimidating, but none the less, pretty cool to learn stuff from actually talking.
6th Period- OCC.. I did a three part lecture series while the students did their one-on-one speaking tests with Leanna Carl and Eric. We just looked through yearbooks and stuff, nothing exceptional.
7th Period- I fought with the School�s faulty server for 50 mins.
That night we got about 12 hours sleep! Hehehe� gotta love Sataurdays!

Sataurday 23rd Sept. 2000 was �KYOTO DAY!�

Maiko (or Maichan) and her mother Kimiko, who is friends with Tokowa�s mother, as well another of their night walking friends, Tokowa and I all took the train to Kyoto. We shopped a bit in old Kyoto, which is absolutely beautiful. Okawasan bought me a Senshu (Japanese fan) that is yellow with little white rabbits on it. It rained, and normally that would bother me, but Kyoto is near the mountains, and is really old, and scenic so the fog actually added to the scenery. It stopped raining just in time for Tokowa, Maichan and I to go walk arround in �Maiko� get-up. Maiko, basically means Geisha in japanese, but the polite word for it. I liked it a lot! It seemed to take forever to get the stuff on though, because we had to get make up put all over our faces, back of our necks and our shoulders, and then the two little old ladies helped us into our shoes and Tied our Kimono�s on (EXTRA TIGHT I MIGHT ADD!). I thought I was going to fall over because the shoes are like cork platforms, and they didn�t work to well on the cobblestones! We ate lunch at about 12 and had a snack in a traditional restaurant before getting back on the train to go to Downtown Kyoto. We shopped arround some more at their department stores, didn�t really buy anything, and then sat down to dinner over the Kyoto Canal under the light of the orange moon. It felt like we should�ve been in Italy, the weather, the wine! Yes, there was wine, it was an excellent full three course meal. I didn�t really want to leave, and know I think I understand why Leanna loves Kyoto so much, its so beautiful its almost surreal. On the way home I meditated (ie: half-slept) and thought about home. I get angry at myself for doing that so often, I really should live more in the moment, especially when they are moments as new and exciting to me as these. It was an excellent day, and to top it all off, we even went over to Obaachan�s house and watched the olympic�s and ate fluffy white cake with the boys and Otoosan.

Nichiyobii 24/2000
Today we went to Osaka city and met Okawasan�s mother. We walked arround downtown which is a part of Osaka I hadn�t expected because it looks just like downtown Toronto and unlike the rest of Osaka. We also went up Japan�s tallest tower and saw the floating garden. After taking the escalator and the elevator down, we ate at a revival restaurant and ate old style Osaka Sakane (Fish) and Steak. Also, we did some shopping at a store that was designed sort of like an Ikea, but with a clothing section and a drugstore section. This place had everything and Banana Cream Pie! Its called LOFT, and they carry some neat stuff. I bought a pair of scisors with translucent pink handles, two japanese style face cloths and a little notebook to keep my Japanese Vocabulary recorded in. I want some of those cool Japanese socks, the shiny ones, a skirt and a little pair of canvas Converse shoes. I�ll fit in then! Well, maybe the yellow hair kinda makes me stand out no matter what. I hope also to buy one of those shirts with the really noticable bad english grammar on it. The day was awesome, and I was totally wiped out by the end of it. When we got back, Kai was showing me his keychain collection. He even gave me a yellow dinosaur keychain to remember him by. Boy will he be surprised! I bought a canadian flag pewter keychain before I left the airport, and I wasn�t really sure why I�d done it until now! Its perfect. We watched more of the olympic coverage tonight, the nationalism is really getting on my nerves. The only people shown on t.v. are the Japanese, even if they come in fourth, you don�t get to see the first place winner do their thing. It�s a little frustrating. Also, that thing about fourth place winners, well, they probably wouldn�t be shown either because normally the t.v. stations try only to show winning athletes. They don�t even bother zooming out on the podium shot. Its all a nationalistic close up. Maybe I�m just used to variety because Canada is so multicultural that they would offend someone by not showing everyone. Oh well, I hate competitiveness. Its frustrating, demeaning and a bad motivator�. If I were in the olympics, I�d be the biggest synic ever. I guess that�s another reason I�ll never have the drive to get there.

Monday 25th 2000 Okonomiyaki Day

This morning, we had 1-C music� what a dull class, we clapped rythms for fifty minutes. Fukui�s social studies class was next. Everyone says how boring he is, and how dull it is to listen to him, well maybe its just because he�s teaching me new stuff about Japan�s history, or because he�s actually just not that boring but I like him. ? We chatted about Japanese, his principals and districts specifically the history of Tokyo and Edo where I�ll be going tomorrow with Sakata. HA! I�m GOING TO TOKYO TOMORROW! Okay, enough of that. Anyway, he speaks wonderful english and is both a very effective teacher and a funny guy. I am looking forward to the next class. I�m in a good mood generally because before Fukui left, he also gave me a book about Japanese culture to read. Its really nice, a hardcover and everything! Spare�. Email!!! I warned mom and dad and everyone else that I was going to Tokyo tomorrow so I wouldn�t be writing to them. I�m actually kind of proud of myself that I did that before they panicked, normally I would�ve forgotten. Daddy�s back now from his honeymoon in Greece.. He was worried I wouldn�t get his email. I miss him, and I think he misses me too. It sounds like he had a nice honeymoon. Next class: Sports. It�s a little bit crazy. They did that 3 legged race thing, and the race when you spin arround the baseball bat and run. That�s dizziness, not sports. I�m dissapointed that they actually did that in a gym class. Although� it was kind of fun.
I�ve been feeling lately that I need some space. Every moment of the day seems to be occupied by other people. I miss Randy, he�s the only one I don�t want to have space away from.
Now I�m cooking and we made Okonomiakii in class. I guess this is a portion of culture class. We made two kinds, Hiroshima and Osaka but I wasn�t able to tell the difference.
I bought a tacoyaki pen yesterday at the skytower. Its really cute!
Hometime.
My head hurts, Darnit, what am I going to wear to Tokyo?
Tokowa was talking to me about schools and stuff today, and how it is really hard to get into a public school in japan. She tried, but her marks weren�t good enough. Her brother goes to the public high school not far from her house. But he had to pass a really difficult test to get in there and she failed it and had to pay for her education. How do you like that?
I�m getting a little worried about living at my second host home with Yukiko Daimon. I have this �pit of my stomach� feeling that our language thing is going to be a big problem.
Guess what? Tonight, we�re eating OKONOMIYAKI!!
I think Okawasan�s will be much better than the school kind�.. Okawasan is, on average a very good cook.
KAI IS SEXY! He is Kaioui (Itchy) actually but I thought I�d comment while his no-abs were showing. (He�s scratching his belly).
Tokowa is watching me. I don�t like it.
Kai�s asleep on the couch now.
I�m going to follow suit.
Goodnight.

09/26/-
Hey! Ohayo Gozaimasu! I�m on the Tokyo-bound Shinkansen.
The sound of silence is playing in my right ear since my left earphone sucks. This journal is getting full, fast! I�m really looking forward to seeing Tokyo! I want to bring Randy here someday. I am in total architectural awe! Looking out my window, and seeing the reflection of 20 or so slim multicoloured roofs bouncing off the half-cylindrical wall of an office building is intensely beautiful with the mountains being topped off with nimbus clouds in the background. Maybe randy woudn�t like it here. There�s nothing as stimulating as that is for me, for him here.
I feel like I�m riding in an airplane with only slight turbulence. We�re in a tunnel and my ears are popping so that could be we are going under or over the mountain. My guess Is over but were going so fast you can�t feel the incline.
That was quick. Now we�re in another city.. Sakata Sensai is sleeping in her seat. I like this, very much. I don�t know at this moment where I am or where home is.
A little man in a straw widebrim hat just got out of a jelly bean truck and is going to join his co-workers in chopping either soy or nicotine out of the ground� I like how the fields and houses are lumped together and all but up against the mountains.. Its like a quilt, all wrinkled up agains a sitting up form.
Last night I had the first dream I�ve had in a while. Dreams are probable or improbable positive self projections, so no, this was a nightmare. I�m not sure about it anymore anyway. Mike was there, he ind of showed up near the end I think. I remember he and my mother and I near Sagamo park. Maybe by the lookout swimming hole. A blue canoe was nearby and Mike said something in that �I like imparting my knowledge to you my sweet so that I appear inteligent don�t you dare interupt or correct me, I�m on a roll� tone about Florida Outward Bound schools where the instructors have to go in the swamp first to �Check for Aligators to see if its safe for the students�. Anyway, I felt like falling to the floor in tears. I can�t teal with either of them. Mom just nodding her head up and down like one of those dashboard dogs. Whats up with those things anyway! I can�t deal with their outward exertions. Its hard to forget him though, since ftill I somewhow feel guildty about use both deciding what we wanted, and finding out that they were different things altogether. Things would have been a lot easier if I hadn�t�ve waited until he told me. I let him resound in his awe instead until it got so bad that I had no choice to be straight with him. Zen. My deception caused him more pain than the reality. I guess that�s how things work. It was a life lesson. One I�d been warned about. Maybe that�s where my mom fits in. Now I�ve got to get over it. I�ve always got this odd feeling that I could love him and matt just out of habit, but I�m lucky enough that I can love out of my own volition and heart because it feels better. Goddamn I�m in love. Shoudn�t I be mad about Kelly? Maybe, Matt and others like him keep me from being angry. Knowing I�m in love deeply and always will be. Its mutual. Maybe I�m just stupid, but my instincts tell me otherwise, and for now, I�ll trust them.
We just passed �Namba� station.
I think Sakata sensai smells like my dad�s new wife Mary. If not, very close. I wonder what mary wears, she�s a shopper. She has all these rows of little perfume bottles whos contents seem to fluctuate and never dissapear, but she always smells the same. I kind of like that about her, if nothing else.
I really like this train. Museums seems like a hot of work. I could just sit here and watch the neverending patches of cities go by between mountains. Wow.
I�m in the Shiba Park Hotel in Tokyo, chillin� on the bed in my own room watching Japanese Olympic coverage. Mens diving.
Wow! I�ve really got to tell you about my day. It was really excellent!
At the EDO-TOKYO museum, I bought the piece of artwork mom�s been bothering me about. I had to buy something or I wasn�t allowed to come back. Anyway, the piece is called �The wave at Kanawaka� It�s a really cool print of a tsunami engulphing fishing boats with Fuji in the background. It also matches her interior colour scheme, so she�ll be happy. Its matted but not framed. Oh well. I think that Sensai and my mother have a lot in common. Interests, and Ideals and I hope that they will be good friends next year when Sakata comes back to canada in the summer. They both hate lineups and crowds too� Whats up with that?
Anyway, I�m making sure mom hosts Sakata when she comes this summer. My arms are falling asleep. I have to get up at 7:30 tomorrow, so its sleep for me now.
No! WAIT!
First I have to tell you about the twin towers and Tokyo City hall. We went up the elevator to the north observatory and chilled, watching the skyline recede. Also in the distance, you could sort of see Mt. Fuji. I loved looking at all of the awesome architecture. Sakata Sensai was telling me about a famous all concrete architect whose name I forget. I�m going to have to get it, and look into it when I get home. I really want to call mom and talk about Sakata and Art and Tokyo, but it can wait until she�s not at work. Sleep tight! Xxoo TOKYasumi Nasai!

09/27-
Darnit! I can�t find my pen! Ive been using one purple pen all trip for this journal and now I cant find it. Today was cool, but I don�t think I�ll ever go voluntarily on another bus guided tour. I always feel like cattle on those things. I remember doing it in Finland with Daddy when I was a little girl. I hated it then too. I�m at home.
Tokowa�s here, but in a bad moood. I have a feeling something bad happened at school today so she�s going to be sick tomorrow. They do that a lot.
Sakata Sensai came all the way to Hirakata station with me. I think she was worried I�d get lost.
Anyway, tomorrow I will be fine, because toko won�t be at school. I think I can make it! ?
I checked to make sure that the print I bought for mom fits in the suitcase. Its perfect.
I like it, it�s a classic. I hope mom does too.
Sakata was saying that she wants to buy a print of some �Group of Seven� artwork when she comes back to Canada. I would very much like her to stay at my house, but I�m not sure if I�ll even be there, so it may be impossible. I would still like to volunteer at Outward Bound next summer. It would be really awesome. But she would be good company for mom, regardless, they could go to the symphony, or to a show, to the McMichael Gallery.
I called dad, and he sounds good. So did Mary.
He didn�t say anything about her bleeding this time, so I�ll assume that the floodgates are under control. I�m not sure if I�m hungery or full now. Maybe a bath would do me good.
�Be humble yet bold, tough yet gentle, swayed always by beauty and truth�
I miss outward bound.
Onwards and upwards.

09/28/-
Mmm�. Looking at that quote from yesterdays entry poses a difficult question about today. Is it true that since today I missed one of my classes (honestly it was an accident since I really and truly enjoy geography) to tell the truth and say that I forgot, or to just not say anything and hope that no one notices. Well, since today I was supposed to have 2 spares, and I took an added one, (again by accident) I decided to take a walk arround. I went down the streets and walked to the sunrise bank and found a semi-outdoor market, so I walked to the end of that and back. Then, since I had about two hours to just chill, I walked the long (two stop) trek to moriguchii station. There is a piricura place there and I got one taken just of me to send to the randmeister to prove that I look just as goofy in Japan as I do in Canada. They turned out okay, but I forgot to decorate all four pics, so only two of eight of my stickers are decorated. Jewel is acapella �ing in my ear right now. Yes ear, since, again, one of my earphones is shtupid and doesn�t work. I wish I had my �Blue Heaven� on CD here. I left it in the CD Player in my computer the night before I left when I was listening to it and packing.
Oh, so by the time I finish taking print stickers, I had just barely enough time to hop on the train for a buck fiftey (or 150 Y) and stop at Takii station where I ran back the five blocks to the school. When I got there, I ran right into the front door and almost knocked down Tokowa and Mrs. Takano (2B homeroom teacher) who had been looking for me. Tokowa had finished her test and was just about to leave for home. I guess they were worried that I wouldn�t make it home. I will. And, I�ll even call Okawasan.
For some reason the green phones will connect me to the Canada Direct connection, but won�t allow me to call out. Its frustrating. I thought it would be nice, since then I wouldn�t have to walk down the street to Lawson�s and use their grey phone. Its like 11:30 at night and they�re all awake now.
I like taking off on adventures like that. I only wish that I didn�t always have places to be. That�s what travelling with my dad was like. That�s what I�d like to travel like. Just sleep when I�m tired, eat when I�m hungry. Free bird type deal.
My stomach is growling now.
Time to use the restroom.
I love the restrooms here, I�m the only one who ever uses the Western style toilet, so I can like sit in there between classes and monopolize it. I was reading in there the other day. Yup, stuff no one wants to know. But its kind of how I can have my own space. Quiet time, where no one will want my hugs and autographs and image in a picture they�ll show their parents in three weeks and be all excited to look at and share with their non-Takii friends. The westerner, the american, the weird blonde kid.
I�ve got to get a picture of one of their toilets, none the less� its pretty cool.
I don�t want to move now, to Yukiko�s.
It sounds like a lot of work.
I gave tokowa my 1000 Y and now I�ve only got like 413 Y.
I emailed randy in the lab, but the computer�s are fritzing out again.
I�m being a hermit.
I should go to 2B and eat. I feel like I�m seven at one of my mother�s drunken teacher parties hiding in the closet and playing with a rubix cube so no one makes me dance on their shoes.
Simon and Garfunkel undertsand Silence and Idiom. Maybe I don�t.
I think my poetry is getting silly.

09/29/-
I�m sick. I�m going to sleep. Goodnight.

09/30/-
Hey, Today was okay. I sat through a two hour Japanese assembley and wrote all the way through. Its only a half day, so we�re chilling at Obaachan�s now. I�m watching �Scream� because we rented movies the other night. Tokowa is watching Never Been Kissed again in the next room. She�s afraid of scarry movies. I think that�s ironic. (Because the whole thing about scream is that its about people who like scarry movies). I get to wear the winter uniform now. I like it better. It�s a dark green skirt with a light green sweater, or sweater vest, and matching socks. It�s at least a little more colourfull than the boring white summer uniform. The girls don�t like it though. I guess just because its heavier. I�m going to enjoy my day off, and Tokowa�s company.

09/31/-
I�m not sure if it�s the first of October or the 31st of September. I don�t even know if I�m anywhere near right on the calendar scale. I always get those things mixed up.
I didn�t like that sleep.
It�s the first time I�ve slept in past 6:30 in a long time, but I had a dream about drugs:
We were walking north to sound on Sarah St. past the house on the corner next to Ted�s. The one with the big lawns and big trees. Well, Ted points to this tree and its been lopped off with about a three foot base remaining on it, and the sap is just swelling there on top� It�s all crusty and in one little deep crevice, theres two little drinking box straws. Ted takes a deep breath, sighs and says its �Crystal� and its too bad they both O.D�d. They musn�t have had the mixture right. I must have looked stunned. (I�m not a real big drug person and really have no idea what crystal meth looks smells or tastes like, or even how its done, so this dream stunned me even more in sheer weird factor because why would I have even thought of it!?) Anyway, so I look stunned right?!. Yes, and Ted said to me next, well, you knew about Mike and Kim dying didn�t you? Again, stunned, and then as dreams often do in my case, my subconscious helped me out a little and showed me floating portraits of my friends Kim Eular and Mike Cox. So now (in the hysteria of dreamworld) I�m thinking, damn! My two like, near best friends die and no one tells me! AH!

I didn�t like that.
Twisted dreams like that make me remember mark, and all the stuff that happened after he died. He�d still be alive for a few days last year, I wonder what he�d be doing?
Paul would have already died though. Stupid. They�re so stupid. Both of them!

Theres the ugly coughing guy again. I�ve never seen him, but it seems like a sin to get out of bed before he coughs. Its this horrible gross revolting hacking sound. Grrr�.

Darnit Mark. You thought it would be clean, and that you�d be forgotten by now, but its not so. Life�s not that easy, and people aren�t whiteboards. We can�t just forget. We cling to that memory.

I don�t know what I�d do if I lost randy.
First my heart would explode, second I would collapse, and I�d probably lose my mind.
Nothing else would matter.
If we had kids, it�d be different, but not now.
With nothing but ghostly memories, I wouldn�t make it. And the saddest part is that they�d blame him, or my youth, or something else like a drug addiction to advil.
We say to ourselves, in this society, that we do what we can.
I don�t think we really do.
I think we do what we perceive to be the right thing.
Our perceptions are screwy.

If I lost it. He�d hate me. But only long enough for me to finally believe him.
There would be us, no matter what. Us in that theatre room, in among masks and windows that don�t look out at anything but concrete, coathangers and blackness and loud friends who drank too much coffee and now didn�t know where the washroom was. I loved his brown fedora with his scraggly hair, his shirt tails, his white wife beater as he hopped with constrained joy out of his mothers chevy Venture. We couldn�t help it. A sweaty palm. A kiss on a hand, heartfelt plastic I love you�s transmitted over 150ish K�s of wire. His soft grip pulling me back to the pasta section in the grocery store where I knew he wouldn�t find what he was looking for. His �Ah Well, we tried� face as he pulled away from my house, started when I let go of his hand, so far away that in the blackness he knew I couldn�t see him to think him weak. I still knew. I understand everything. Perfectly. Just us. Forever in those moments.
I guess those are the best ways to remember people. Not by accomplishments, or stature, but by moments.

Smiles.

Today, we went shopping in Hirakata city centre. I bought two pairs of hawaiian boxer shorts to wear under my uniform and then to give to my boy upon my return because they�re pink and orange with flowers and he needs �em. (Why is it that men never buy underwear or socks?)
Bought shiny pink knee socks. Bought sock glue yesterday so I can even wear them without worrying about them falling down.
I also bought the sequel to Angela�s ashes for way too much money because I�ve run out of books to read on the �Western Style Toilet�.
A case for my CD�s and new headphones since the old ones are broken. Everything pink except the green CD case. I like pink.
It�s a nice warm but comfortable night.
Tokowa and Kai and Okawasan got hair cuts. Tokowa looks older, but it suits her!
I just called mom and I don�t know where she could be because its seven A.M. on a Sunday. Gah.
We�re sitting on the floor and Tokowa is showing Tsuneko (Okawasan)�s friends kids my limited piricura section. I don�t like having my diary open even if tokowa can�t read it. It messes me up.
Almost three weeks of being here. Huh� it feels like a lot longer.
Two days from now I�ll move in with my new host sister.
I packed today, I think that the Ogawa�s are having a going away party for me tomorrow night, my last night here. I�m going to miss this place, my first home in Japan.
One of my favourite things about it, is the balcony between floors. Tokowa and My and Kenshi�s apartement and bedrooms is on the floor below the main �House� and the shower up there is the one you use. Everytime I have to eat, or get clean, or just want to go up or down to get something or see someone, I stop at this little balcony. Its awesome. I guess its on the third floor, but from here, I can see almost everything in Hirakata. I can see Hirakata Koen which is the theme park, and I can see the pink ferris wheel there lit up at night like a stop sign. In the day, I love to watch the little people, the postman, the elderly people who walk with umbrellas and canes, and all the middle aged �salarymen� going to work on their bicycles. It always smells clean and fresh out here. I think that this is my favourite memory of the Ogawa house, well� no, that�s not right, playing with everyone, and laughing, and joking, those are my favourite moments, but I think this is my favourite tranquil memory. I will always remember Japan this way.

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This is the end of Part 1. The second section continues the adventure in my new host home at the Daimon's and follows me through my trips to Hiroshima, Himeji and Nara. If you are interested, �Japan in 42 days Part II�

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