Following jokes are about a fictious character called Dum Bass
(figured out something fishy in this name? ...U bet!). There might be more
than one Dum (I am using his first name here) in these jokes and, believe me,
nobody but Dum (or Dums) can act absolutely in line with his (their)
name (names).
You have got to recognize
that he is Dum if he:
* puts lipstick on the forehead
because he wants to makeup his mind.
* gets stabbed in a shoot-out.
* sends a fax with a postage
stamp on it.
* tries to drown a fish in
water.
* likes socialism 'coz confuses it for socializing and goes for partying every night.
* trips over a cordless phone.
* takes a ruler to bed to
see how long he slept.
* At the bottom of the application
where it says "Sign Here" he puts "Sagittarius."
* studies for a blood test
and fails.
* sells the car for gas money.
* misses the bus no. 44, and
takes no. 22 twice instead.
* drives to the airport and
sees a sign that said, "Airport left", he turns around and goes home.
* gets locked in Furniture
Shop and sleeps on the floor.
Q: "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"
Dum: "No, who wrote it?"
Dum ordered a pizza and the
clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
"Six, please. I could never
eat twelve pieces."
A flock of 18 Dums went to
see an adult movie in their recent trip to Washington, D. C.
Because below 18 was not allowed.
Why does Dum work seven days
a week?
So you don't have to re-train
him on Monday.
Why can't Dums make ice
cubes?
They always forget the recipe.
How did Dum try to kill the bird?
He threw it
off a cliff.
What do you see when you look
into a Dum's eyes?
The back of his head.
What do you do when a Dum
throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it
back.
Why does Dum always smile
during lightning storms?
He thinks his picture is
being taken.
Why does Dum have "TGIF" written
on his shoes?
Toes Go In First.
Why can't Dum dial 911?
He can not find the eleven
on the phone
How do you get Dum on the
roof?
Tell him the drinks are on
the house.
"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Dum looked skyward and said
"Where, Where?
What do smart Dum and UFOs
have in common?
You always hear about them
but you never see them.
Why does it take longer to
build a Dum-snowman as opposed to a regular one?
You have to hollow out the
head.
The doctor told Dum that if
he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos.
At the end of 300 days, Dum
called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem.
"What's the problem?"asked
the doctor.
"I'm 2400 kms from home."
Dum was filling up an
application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME,AGE,ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column
'Salary Expected.' He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote
: Yes.
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