Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar."

I love to go shopping. I love to freak out salespeople. They ask me if they can help me, and I say, "Have you got anything I'd like?" Then they ask me what size I need, and I say, "Extra medium."

I saw a small bottle of cologne and asked if it was for sale. She said, "It's free with purchase." I asked her if anyone bought anything today.

I bought a self-learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went to sleep; the record got stuck. The next day I could only stutter in Spanish.

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything

Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"

Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"

Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway

Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Yo mama so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

Last modified on Friday, December 20, 2002