| The Money Pit One day, a couple moved into a new home and were trying to fix it up. The floors in the living room were chipped and scratched, the light in the bathroom wasn't working, the dishwasher didn't want to turn on, and the ceiling fan in the den only had two of the four blades it was supposed to have. The wife asked her husband, "Honey, can you fix the floors for me?" The man replied, "What do I look like, a carpenter?" At that, he left to go to the bar with his friends. The next day, after showering in the dark, the wife asked, "Honey, can you fix the light in the bathroom?" The man replied, "What do I look like, an electrician?" Again, he left the house to go to the bar. The wife was so distraught at her husband's reaction that she sat on the front porch weeping. Her new young, single neighbor saw her crying and approached her. "Why are you crying, ma'am?" The wife replied, "My husband won't fix the floors or the light in the bathroom, and I don't think he'll help me fix anything in this house!" The neighbour replied, "Well, not to worry -- I'll help you fix up this house. I only ask for either a slice of pie or an afternoon of sex with you in return." Later that day, her husband returned to the house. He was surprised to see that both the floors and the light were now perfect, and on top of that, the dishwasher was humming away, and the ceiling fan in the den had been replaced. When he asked her about all the repairs, the wife responded, "Well, our nice neighbour came over and fixed everything for me. He asked only that I either gave him a slice of pie or had sex with him in return for his kind deed." Her husband, curious, asked, "So what kind of pie did you make for him?" To which the woman responded, "What do I look like, Delia Smith ?" |