Rejected Hallmark Cards

1.      So your daughter's a hooker,
        and it spoiled your day...
        Look at the bright side,
        she's a really good lay.
  
  
2.      My tire was thumping....
        I thought it was flat....
        when I looked at the tire....
        I noticed your cat... Sorry
  
3.      You had your bladder removed
        and you're on the mends....
        here's a bouquet of flowers
        and a box of Depends.
  
4.      You've announced that you're gay,
        won't that be a laugh,
        when they find out you're one
        of the Joint Chiefs of Staff.

  
5.      Heard your wife left you...
        How upset you must be...
        But don't fret about it....
        She moved in with me
  
6.      You totaled your car...
        and can't remember why...
        could it have been...
        that case of Bud Dry?
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