| HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER - She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE. She is not EASY - She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE. She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY. She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION. She is not an AIRHEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED. She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED. She is not HORNY - She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED. She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS - She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED. She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE She is not a SLUT - She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED. She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS - She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR. She is not a TWO BIT WHORE - She is a LOW COST PROVIDER. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: He does not have a BEER GUT - He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY He is not a BAD DANCER - He is RHYTHMICALLY CAUCASIAN He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME - He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS He is not BALDING - He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION He is not a CRADLE ROBBER - He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK - He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL He does not act like a TOTAL ASS - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG - He has SWINE EMPATHY |