askquestion

QUESTIONS ASKED (AND ANSWERS GIVEN)

Uhh... who are u? -no known name
You may call me Bianca (AKA Binky). I am currently in human form, yet I am an alien with shape shifting capabilities from Uranus. I am your worst nightmare... if you fear what you humans call "insane".

Ok, the forms do not work. So bye-bye to the once-convenient form! Now, click on the email button to email me a question and I will post it and the answer to it on this page! Any question at all, ANYTHING, ask it! Feel free to include your name/age/location if ya want to

What is normal? -Bianca, Canada
Why am I asking myself a question? Just for an example I guess. Well, normal seems to be that standards set by society. If you do not adhere to these standards, or try to go where no-one has gone before, you are labelled crude names. Take, for example, Einstien. People thought he was some insane dude. Now people think he was a genious. Go figure.

What do u think happens to us when we die? -Steve H, Canada
I think that our bodies stop working (mainly our hearts) and we cannot move anymore. Then we either get:
a) burnt to a crisp
b) torn apart and inspected
c) stuck in a box under the ground
d) eaten by vultures

Okay, i have a problem, when i get turned on i turn into a goat, what should i do, guys find this a turn off... -Guess Who, Moose Jaw
Yeah, you are right, you do have a problem! Congratulations! Now: you don't want to turn off guys by getting turned on. A few answers: Don't get turned on. Find a guy who likes your goat-iness. Perhaps find a nice goat who will like your human-ness. Maybe even become a hermit so the world doesn't have to deal with another "NOT NORMAL" person!

NOTE: is it just me, or do the questions you people ask keep getting longer?!

I have this problem I like this car alot and I think it likes me but Im not sure. I'm worried that I might say something wrong the next time I talk to it and it wont want to be with me any more so should I just go for it or what? -no known name, Canada
Alright since your question is so long, my answer will be shorter: It is not the car that is talking to you but the voices in your head fooling you. Confront those voices, and afterwards, if you still have feelings for that car... marry it somewhere where you can legally do it. The car won't mind, I'm sure.

Bianca, I can't have sex with a girl unless reruns of the Andy Griffith Show are playing on my vcr in the background. But chicks lose interest when I start calling out Aunt Bea's name. What is their problem? Rick, Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario, Canada
Their problem is that Aunt Bea is evil. Truth of the matter is, Aunt Bea is a part of the conspiracy. All women know that, but they are not supposed to admit to that. (You did not hear it from me!!) So we are all wary of her. If you just have to call out her name, then remember to add on "IS EVIL".. everything should be alright afterwards.

I bet my friend fifty bucks that I could stick my head in a fishbowl. Now I seem to be stuck. My friend wants to bet double or nothing that he can get me out by slipping a lit firecracker inside the fishbowl. (Luckily, in anticipation of this, I'm wearing earplugs.) Should I take the bet? - Rick, Canada
Yes, what is life without adventure? Although what works better is making your neck slippery with vaseline, then sticking the firecracker up your buttocks... that will make the fishbowl slide right off your head. The explosion will cause the earplugs to pop out your ears, which will then in turn pop the bowl off of your head. One question... How did you manage to get the earplugs in?

Hey Bianca, I inserted the earplugs before sticking my head in the fishbowl. I'm always thinking ahead. Do you happen to know if a 12 step program exists for people addicted to having firecrackers set off in their buttocks, and did you know that would get the fishbowl off from experience? - Rick, Canada
I do not know a twelve step program for people addicted to firecrackers set off in their buttocks... however there is a support club you could join to help you out with that... just move on in this webpage until you find the page about the support group, and join! And no, I do not know about the fishbowl thing from experience. I consulted the big little people on that one, they experimented to test it first. All credit to them on that part!

FOLLOW UP QUESTION:

Ello, Bianca. Je M'appelle Jaques! I was just vundering... Vhy do I talk like Zis??? *talking in raspy french voice* -Jaques
Because you are a dirty french man. Or because you are being attacked in your sleep by the little people... they have a tendancy to screw around with your vocal chords. Another culprit could be the fact that you have bad typing skills. Take your pick!

If the world were to close off all of it's borders and become a introverted bastard then what kind of person would humanity become ??????????????????????????-Agent Zed, M.J, Saskatchewan
Wow, you sure like those question marks. First of all, does humanity have a personality? My guess would be that humanity's personality (if it had one) would be brash, selfish and quick to judge. So if the world became an introverted bastard, humanity would become THE APOCALYPSE! So beware.....

Evil is my friend and my friend wants to kill all evil, what do I do? I am also criticized because I'm friends with evil, can you help me? -Chris, Saskatchewan, Canada
First things first... since your friend evil wants to kill all evil, does that mean he (she?) is suicidal? Or does a different friend want to kill all evil? In the first case, I would suggest that you find a great counsellor for your poor suicidal evil friend. If it is the second case, talk to this other friend, maybe compromise a bit. Alright now on to the second part of your question: Get your friend evil to do as he (she?) pleases with those criticising people. Or just have a nice talk with them.

Bianca 2001 (c)

If there were a nuclear explosion and you were left on the planet alone with one goat what would you do?? Kill the goat and use it for meat or would you use it to get milk?? and if you choose the latter would you use the milk to create goat cheese or would you just drink the milk?? -- Chris, Clinton, Ontario, CANADA
If there were a nuclear explosion and I were left alone on the planet, how in the world would I find this one goat? Anyways, with those choices you gave me I would use the goat for milk, and cheese. Even though I do not know how to make cheese. However, if I were not given those choices, I would probably end up talking to those voices, convincing them to come out of my head and into real bodies, so I wouldn't be so alone.