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| H is for H. He used to be in Steps. They were one of my favourite bands, I cried for days when they split up. Mummy took me to see them on their last tour, and she bought me a whistle and a glow stick!! We are lucky enough to be performing with them at this year�s Mardi Gras, I am hoping to get Mr Ted, my Steps teddy bear, signed by H and Claire. Apparently Faye was at this year�s Ozzfest. Mummy won�t let me listen to that kind of music, she says it is too scary for me. She says she doesn't want me having nightmares and being too scared to sleep. | |||
| H is for Hair. NME are always talking about our hair for some reason. Mummy washes mine. I used to cry so much when she tried to get the tangles out, but then we started using Johnson�s No More Tears, and there really are no more tears! | |||
| H is for Halo. This is a band that buy their way onto our tours. They are from a town called Bristol, and there are four of them. They are called Graeme, Iain, Jim, and Steve. They sing like girls. They are good to play hide and seek with, because they are so easy to find. Most of the time they hide behind Jim�s drums!! | |||
| I is for Iain. He plays guitar in Halo. He and his big brother Graeme are always fighting. Their mummy makes Graeme look after Iain all the time. They are such a pair of mummy's boys, unlike me. | |||
| I is for I'll Still Write. This is a song that Dan wrote when he heard my family was moving. We used to live next door to each other, but my family moved two streets away a few years ago. When he heard we wouldn't be able to play in his sandpit as much as we did, he started crying like the big jessie that he is, and he wrote this song for me. We all laughed when we heard it, and Ben laughed so much he wet his pants!! He can't sing it because it might happen again! | |||
| J is for Jacksons. This is another rock band that Ben likes. Like Abba, he tells us that their music is too heavy for us, but one of his favourite songs by The Jacksons is called Blame It On The Boogie. He says that if we were to hear this song, our ears would start bleeding and could quite possibly explode because it is so heavy and intense. Mummy says he is a bad influence on me. | |||
| J is for Jam. I don't really like jam. Mummy spreads marmalade on my toast. Or sometimes she makes me egg and soldiers for breakfast. Lots of strange people have recently been posting on our message board and keep harassing us about jam. I find it quite scary, and I am worried that one day a jar of jam will come crashing onto the stage while I am doing my thang. | |||
| J is for Japan. We have played here a few times. The girls here are scary, we don�t like girls. But they give us lots of presents, which is always nice. No toys though :( Mummy says next time we go to Japan, she is escorting us as she has heard about what goes on in Japan with rude bands like Muse. | |||
| J is for Jon. This is our drummer. We call him dwarf, and steal his hats and play catch with them. But then his mummy comes out and tells us not to be so mean to him. She asks us how we would feel if we were going bald at such a young age. | |||
| K is for Keyboards. I play these. Mummy and Daddy bought me some really good ones for my 21st birthday, and Pete says I am getting great at them. The other boys are so jealous of me, they wish they could be as talented as I am. | |||
| K is for Kieran. This is my name! Mummy says that it means Little Dark One, and that it describes me perfectly. | |||
| L is for Lights. Without these, the people watching us wouldn�t be able to see us and think about how hunky we all are! All the girls fancy me. | |||
| M is for Mahon. This is my second name! Most people have two names, except people like Madonna and Prince, who only need one as they are so rich and famous. Maybe one day I'll simply be known as Kieran. | |||
| M is for Marriage. Mummy and Daddy are so old, they must have been married for centuries now! I want to have four children, two boys and two girls, and call them Tinky Winky, Dipsy, La La and Po. | |||
| M is for Muse. This is a band who gave us a free support slot on their tour last spring. Their singer sounds like a girl. They are rude. Mummy banned me from their aftershows in case I saw things that I shouldn�t. | |||
| N is for Noise. Our concerts are very noisy. Mummy packs me earplugs to wear for when we go on tour so that my ears don�t hurt as much, but the other boys pick on me for wearing them. They call me poof, and gayboy. | |||
| O is for Oceansize. This is a band that really ROCK. There are five of them, and they are based in a town called Manchester, oop North. They are so much fun, we all love playing games, especially Twister and Operation. One of our favourite songs to sing is: �Operation, operation, you�re the doctor, it�s so much fun to play!� | |||
| P is for Panzer Attack. This is a song about other boys picking on us. They always steal our toys. Kyle from next door stole our football a few days ago, and Mummy had to go round and ask Kyle�s mummy to get Kyle to give it us back. He gave it back, but then he told Dan he was shit, and Dan ran off crying like the big cry-baby that he is. Kyle�s so mean, you wouldn�t think he was only seven. | |||
| P is for Peter Pan. This is one of my bestest books/films. We like to play Peter Pan, and we let mine and Tom's sisters play too! We don't let them play with us much, they're GIRLS! Dave plays Peter, Tom's sister plays Tinkerbell, Ben plays Captain Hook, and we make Fish play Nanna The Dog. Tom plays the crocodile, TICK TOCK!! My sister, me and Jon play Wendy, John and Michael! It is so much fun!! We try to make Fish walk the plank, but then he starts crying and we all get told off, stupid Fisher. | |||
| Q to Z!! | |||