DISCLAIMER:
Dragonball Z and its characters belong to Akira Toriyama
WARNING: NC-17 for sensitive subject matter. I don't want
to spoil the secret though, so just remember you've been warned…
Chapter
3 - Dream a Little Dream of Me..
The next morning Vegeta awoke to see Bulma with a little bundle
in her arms. A strange, yet not unpleasant smell hit his nose and
he inhaled deeply as he sat up.
"What is that?" he said, sniffing. Bulma
grinned and held
forth the little bundle.
"Your daughter. Babies smell good." Vegeta's eyes
widened a bit and
he leaned forward to get a better whiff. "Want to hold her?"
"No." He replied immediately. Instead of being
upset Bulma smiled
a bit.
"Never held a baby before?"
"No." he said, looking slightly nervous.
"Well now's the best time to start. She's
yours after all.
Come on, she won't bite." Vegeta frowned and held his arms
out.
She gently placed their daughter in his arms and smiled when his eyes
widened
fractionally.
She was so tiny and her little eyes opened to stare
at him. Two
dazzling blue orbs gazed into his midnight eyes without
flinching.
A little chubby arm waved in the air and he stared in silent
fascination.
"Crazy." He murmured.
Bulma smiled.
It had been a month since Bura's birth. Everything was relatively
normal, except if you considered the fact that Vegeta actually paid
attention
to his new child. And somehow Bulma knew that he loved her.
It wasn't even the way he watched their little girl sleep or that he
actually
played with her as she rolled around on her thick baby blanket amid
brightly
colored toys.
She just felt it.
It had to be the bond. She could feel him,
feel where he was
and at times his emotions. But only when they were in the
extreme.
If he was slightly annoyed with her she'd never know. It was
wonderful
and yet, something was still missing. And she knew exactly what
it
was.
That little tiny piece of his heart that he hadn't
let her see.
She knew he had every reason to want to keep it from her, but somehow,
the very fact that she didn't know made her feel incomplete. As
if
knowing every facet about his character would be the only thing to make
her whole. She needed to know, and yet at the same time she was
afraid.
Afraid to ask him what it was. Afraid he'd be angry with her for
asking. She was afraid that asking would hurt him and drive him
away.
Didn't he trust her? Or was it something so
terrible that even
he couldn't think about it? She didn't know what scared her more.
If he didn't trust her… That couldn't be
it! They wouldn't
be raising a second child together if he didn't trust her. They
would
never have bonded if he didn't trust her. They probably would
never
have slept together in the first place if he hadn't trusted her even a
little bit.
The other possibility scared her almost as
much. She'd seen the
pain he'd dealt with in his life. On multiple occasions she'd
wondered
how he hadn't just taken his own life to end the gnawing torment.
She would have, and it made he realize how strong he really was, and
how
weak she was. But to think that there was still something buried
deep inside of him that he couldn't even confront. It scared her,
it hurt her that he had so much pain in his life. If he couldn't
get over the trauma, how would they ever be complete? She could
accept
the way he was now. She did, she always had. But now that
she
knew there was something he was hiding from her, she couldn't help but
worry for him.
What if something happened that for some reason
forced him to confront
the hidden issue and he couldn't deal with it? She knew how
strong
he was but when they had almost completed the bond she remembered the
sheer
horror she felt as she drew nearer to that dark place.
It was indescribable, the panic she'd felt.
Like every phobia
she'd ever felt come to life. Every dark nightmare in one tiny
package.
It was like Pandora's box. Once opened all Hell would break
loose.
She knew Vegeta felt the same from the way he'd jumped away from
her.
The way he'd flinched when she'd tried to touch him. The way he
trembled
afterwards.
She'd never seen him that way before. It
scared her. His
other memories had been bad enough, and they hadn't even caused him to
twitch. What could be so horrible Her life had been
one
big joy-ride compared to his. She wished it hadn't been so easy
for
her. Maybe then she could understand him better. She
understood
him far better now that she'd seen most of his past.
But still, it troubled her to not know everything.
She knew that if
he dealt with whatever it was he would feel better eventually.
But
how would she convince him that?
"Step into the light, chibi no
Ouji… Let me look at you.."
Where was she? It was so dark. A thin shaft of light stood
in the center of the room causing everything else to be that much
darker.
She couldn't see anything and the soft, lilting voice scared her.
She stepped into the light.
"Good.. now take
off your clothes.." she suddenly felt a wave of fear
and her discomfort grew until she felt slightly ill. But she knew
what would happen if she said no. They all knew what it meant to
say no to him. She pulled off slightly scuffed battle armor
slowly
as though it had to be done perfectly. But she knew she was just
stalling for time, trying to figure a way out, even though she knew
there
was none. She pulled off a dark battle suit, desperately trying
to
fight the building nausea.
"Come over here."
The voice said and she heard the sound of flesh patting
a soft mattress. She shivered in apprehension. She didn't
really
know what was about to happen or why she had to be naked in front of
the
one being she hated above all others, but not only was it humiliating,
it just didn't seem right. Her soft tail wrapped around her waist
as she inched closer to the bed and she silently sat on the very edge
of
the mattress.
She shivered as a cold hand traced lazily up her
spine.
"Closer, my dear…"
she scooted a fraction of an inch closer and
heard a low chuckle behind her. Suddenly powerful arms grabbed
her
from behind and threw her onto her back. Sharp
nails dug into her flesh and she bit back a cry of pain. She
didn't
want to give him the pleasure of hearing her cry out. The nausea
was making her eyes and mouth water as she felt a rough tongue slide
down
to her waist. She shuddered in disgust, a whimper escaped despite
her best efforts to control it. She heard another low
chuckle.
Icy hands caressed her as the tongue dipped lower and lower. She
felt tears coming to her eyes and she knew there was nothing she could
do to stop them. Suddenly she felt the prodding tongue reach her
most private area and she couldn't stop the choked cry that
escaped.
She received a hard slap. Once her head stopped ringing she could
taste blood on her lips.
The frigid hands were everywhere. Touching places
she didn't want to
be touched. Then her head was forced down and her behind was
lifted
and a cold finger entered her from behind. She screamed in pain
and
disgust. Overwhelming shame and disgust filled her as the finger
thrusted in
and out of the tight orifice. Then the finger withdrew and she
felt
something much larger pressed against her. Instantly she was
penetrated
again, but this time her scream was much louder as the skin was
stretched
and torn to accommodate the intruding member. In and out it went
repeatedly until her head was pounding into the wall, the force almost
knocking her unconscious. But not quite. She wasn't
to
have that blessed release. She felt warm blood run down her
thighs
as she was pounded into again and again. Please stop, please…
She awoke with a strangled gasp. A sob caught in her throat as
she tried to calm her racing heart. When she finally clamed down
enough to observe her surroundings she was overjoyed to find herself at
home in bed. But the dream, it had been so real..
Vegeta lay next to her, she suddenly realized.
He was tangled
in the sheets and sweat stood out clearly on his brow. He moaned
low in his throat and she reached out to wipe the sweat from his brow..
..and sharp
talons raked his flesh. Blood instantly welled up
from the wounds as the other hand pulled and squeezed his tail..
..she pulled her hand back with a low gasp. It
wasn't a dream.
It had happened. To
him. To Vegeta.
"Oh God!" she cried repeatedly, her voice growing
louder and louder
as the horror overwhelmed her. Tears immediately sprang to her
eyes.
Vegeta's eyes shot open and he sat up with a gasp only to have Bulma
throw
herself at him weeping.
"Woman, what-?"
"I saw it, I saw it!!" she sobbed, her forehead
pressed against his
throat. Her could feel her hot tears splashing against his skin.
"Saw what?" Vegeta demanded. She was getting
hysterical.
"Your dream! I dreamed your dream!!"
He felt a sudden wave of vertigo. Perhaps it
was all the blood
draining from his face. She
knew. The one thing he didn't want
anyone to know. Ever.
And she knew. He felt a wave of
heat and then cold. Horrible cold that seemed to stop his blood and
turn his heart to a chunk of ice. He abruptly stood, knocking
Bulma
to the floor. She gasped as she fell but she quickly scrambled to
her feet and ran after him as he stormed down the hall.
"Vegeta! No! Whatever your going to do, please
don't do it!!"
she shrieked as she ran after him. He abruptly turned to face
her.
"Stop following me!!" he screamed. She
flinched, her ears ringing
but still followed him out the door.
"Come back inside!" she cried softly, her words
dissolving into a broken
sob. Fear filled her heart as she wondered what he would do to
himself.
If she'd made him angry enough to stab himself, what would he do now?
"Leave me alone!" He cried, his voice breaking and
dying to a ragged
whisper. "I don't want you here.." he walked a few more steps
before
he fell to his knees and began to pound the earth with his fists.
She could feel the tremors of the impacts and could see neighbor's
lights
snapping on in the distance.
"Vegeta, please come inside." She said softly.
"No!!" he bellowed. 'Leave me alone!"
"I won't leave!" she screamed back. She could
see in the moonlight
his body stopped shaking for a moment and he looked over his shoulder
at
her. She could see unshed tears in his eyes and felt her heart
twist
in response. He sat back on his heels and heaved a long,
shuddering
sigh and didn't move for several long minutes. Bulma slowly edged
closer until she stood right behind him and she crouched down and
gently
put her hands on his shoulders.
He flinched at the contact but didn't shove her
away. She could
still feel faint tremors running through his body. Ignoring the
chill
that was spreading through her limbs she sat behind him on the
dew-covered
grass and wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head on his
back. He said nothing and didn't touch her.
Bulma wanted to say something. She wanted to
tell him that it
was alright and she didn't think any differently of him, except maybe
she
respected him more. And she understood him better. How
could
he not take out his anger on other people? She knew herself well
enough to admit she would do the same if she were him. She knew
what
it felt like to want everyone to hurt as much as she did. If
she'd
had his strength and upbringing (and if she was a man- she knew
perfectly
well that women take their anger out on themselves), she knew she would
have wiped planets clear of life without a second thought.
But she knew that if she said anything he would
explode in rage and
do Kami-knows-what. So instead she clung to him and held him as
if
she was the only thing keeping him there.
Vegeta was numb. A thousand myriad thoughts ricochet through his
brain, too quick to grasp. Except for one: "She Knows." He
could feel hot tears rolling down his cheeks but was powerless to stop
them. Why did she have to find out? Why? His ultimate disgrace.
The only thing he'd never live down: Frieza, the demon Ice-jinn
who'd
murdered his entire race and destroyed his planet had raped him.
Him. The last Prince of
Vejiitasei. Frieza's little whore.
No one had even known before. If anyone had
they would have thrown
it right in his face and laughed. And now she knew. And
she'd
cried. She still was crying. He could feel her hot tears
rolling
down his spine. He'd never seen her cry so hard when he'd first
woken
up. Perhaps that was why he'd snapped. He didn't want her
pity.
Gods! All he'd ever wanted to do was
forget! But it never
went away. He hadn't dreamed of it for years and years but
tonight,
of course, was different. And she had seen it! They had
shared
a dream. Something he'd always thought was a myth.
But why this dream? Why couldn't it have been
the time he'd just been
"reprimanded" by Frieza and had found one of the ship's crew just
outside
the door and had beaten him to death? All she would have seen was
the blood. That was all he remembered.
No, he would never be able to forget the horrible
transgression.
Tonight was proof. It would never go away. The pain would
never
stop.
TBC…