Cold Pain

The ice is cold as you hold it...like a seeping chill that creeps through your flesh to your bone as it melts. the cold water drips off your fingers and it feels like your skin is melting with it, leaving you numb, not being able to feel anything. the less felt the better really, there�s too much pain in this life, too much confusion. Whether they mean to or not people hurt you- emotionally and physically. There�s too much being pushed around, being outcast because you don�t fit in with standards of dress, music or social outlook. Being used and abused by those you thought were friends, then left out in the cold to freeze.
If you put salt on the ice it burns when you touch it; which is better, hot or cold? Burning or melting? Ice is just a substitute for real pain though. The bittersweet sting of a knife�s blade piercing your skin. The sharpness and the pain blocking out everything else in the world- all the messed up stuff replaced by one single pain that you control. When the blood wells to the surface it�s like a release from all the stresses and heartache and everything else, just watching the tiny beads of crimson appear or run along your skin can make the minutes blend into hours and nothing else seems real except you and the blade. It�s an addictive habit.
But still, the ice melts and your skin seems to melt with it, as if you could almost disappear yourself...perhaps one day it might happen...
� Kiandra Riley 2004