You have reached the summer cottage of Keyan Farlander, notorious H2G2 electron pusher. In the past, Farlander has done extensive work at this site, and has poured blood, sweat and tears into writing scores of pointlessly implausible works of fiction; however, in recent times, Farlander has become a hardened realist and now spends ludicrously long hours writing factual articles for the BBC's Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy (Earth Edition), which is the largest encyclopaedic resource on the internet managed by volunteers. It is, however, hoped that Farlander - like the proverbial prodigal offspring - will someday return to Farlander's writing roots and write fiction again.

The gentle reader is, of course, advised not to hold their breath.

In the meantime, sit back, relax, make yourself an insipid cup of tea and clear away the cobwebs and the dust from the old manuscripts Farlander has left here - or, if you are not a fiction person, check out the Edited Articles Farlander has contributed to the Guide. Let the music lull you into insanity as skeletons fall out of the closets and the thin line that separates nightmares from reality becomes blurred.

Don't die of boredom. You have been warned.

Copyright © 2003 Keyan Farlander