Buffybot in Tabula Rasa
PAIRING: None
RATING: PG-13
FEEDBACK: Very welcome, to [email protected]
BETA: Miss Murchison - thanks!
SETTING: This fic is set during the events of 'Tabula Rasa' in BtVS Series 6, when the Scoobies temporarily lose their memories. I've twiddled with the time sequence in the episode a tiny bit, but just call it artistic licence.
DISCLAIMER: The characters belong to Joss. I’m borrowing, and I promise to put them all back in reasonably good condition, and only slightly used.
NOTE: This story is a sequel to Buffybot Behind Bars!, but it can perfectly well be read as a stand-alone.
SCENE: A house in Sunnydale
Chapter Fifteen
Buffybot tilted her head. She'd heard something out in the yard.
After explaining to the Scoobies how she came to be wearing Willow’s right sneakers, she’d yielded the floor to Anya and Giles, who had given a passionate, and wildly divergent, account of their foray into transformational magic. The whole living room was currently full of excited babble, as witches and civilians alike thrilled to the idea of magic that could simply be read off the page of a book.
Buffybot quietly picked up her sword, and tiptoed to the doorway. The front door opened, and the sounds of a Slayer and a Vampire arguing in the hall could be heard. Buffybot smiled, put down the sword, and strained her electronic ears. Buffy and Spike seemed to be having an animated difference of opinion about the eating habits of the sea otter. Ooh! Buffybot rushed out of the doorway, eager to help. She knew lots about sea otters! It was all in her Encyclopaedia!
“... salmon, sea urchins, whatever,” said Spike tetchily, “My point is ....” He staggered backward as Buffybot flew past him, and latched on to Jonathan.
“Jonathan! You’re safe!” Buffybot grabbed Jonathan in an enthusiastic embrace, lifting him off the ground. Jonathan groaned as his ribs were squeezed almost to their popping point.
Buffybot put him down and grinned at Buffy. “You saved poor brave little Jonathan!” she said enthusiastically, “you’re so cool!” She stepped forward, her arms open for a hug, and Buffy stepped backward quickly.
“Got a very hot stone here,” she said, waving her string bag in the air. “We’ll just have to pass on the hug-age this time.”
Buffybot glowed. Buffy was always thinking of others! She turned expectantly to Spike, but he had his arms folded defensively across his chest, and a pout on his face. Perhaps he had lost the salmon argument? She turned back to Jonathan instead, and hugged him again. She was touched to see that there were tears welling in his eyes.
.............
Buffybot flung open the living room door with a crash, causing a terrified girly squeak to emanate from at least one person in the room.
“Buffy and Spike have saved Jonathan!” she said proudly.
There was a collective ‘ooh!’ from the assembled Scoobies as Buffy and Spike entered the room behind her, towing the reluctant Jonathan with them.
“Hey! Our hot/cold stone worked,” said Willow, pleased.
Buffy silently held out the string bag, and Willow and Tara took it from her and bent over it, excited.
“What happened to Mr Contralto?” asked Giles, looking his returned companions over for signs of wear. Buffy appeared a little dirtied, but unharmed, while Spike was sporting a spectacular black eye.
“He’s feeding the fishes,” said Buffy, a pleased smile playing over her lips as she recalled her excellent aim with the wooden spoon.
“And the demon loan shark guy?” asked Xander.
Spike’s chest puffed out. “He’s sleeping with the fishes,” he said proudly.
“Go team!” said Xander enthusiastically.
Dawn was looking at the mysterious Jonathan. He sure was little, as Lara had said, and he was holding his ribs as though they hurt. “Was the shark whoosit real mean to you?” she asked him sympathetically.
“Pressed him into service as a salmon chef,” said Spike. “Not exactly a terrible trial by torture.” He looked suspiciously at Jonathan. “And he didn’t seem that happy to be rescued, frankly.”
“We’d got to a very crucial stage with the jus, that’s all,” muttered Jonathan, trying to pull his shirt sleeve away from Spike’s iron grip.
Spike raised a sardonic eyebrow.
“And he’s been really reluctant to talk all the way here,” said Buffy, casting an equally suspicious glance at Jonathan. “I’m thinking he may not wanting to tell us all he knows - about this spell, and about just what is going on around here.”
“I don’t know anything about any spell!” gasped Jonathan, “Honest! This whole place has just gone crazy as far as I’m concerned.”
“Hmm!” Anya’s eyes narrowed. “I think he’s lying - let’s torture him to get the truth!”
Jonathan followed her gaze as it fell upon the familiar shiny little throwing axe that lay on the coffee table. He shrank back, as far as Spike's grip would allow him. At this awkward moment, a red and blue striped bunny darted out from beneath an armchair and ran over Jonathan’s foot. He screamed.
“Catch it!” yelled Xander, as it ran towards the sofa.
“Don’t dive again, sweetie!” cried Willow to Tara, as the rabbit bounded past them, and then dropped the string bag, as she made her own grab for the bunny.
“Eeeee!” screamed Anya, as the rabbit veered in her direction.
Buffybot pounced, and came up with the rabbit dangling by the scruff of its neck. She put out a tender hand to support its little rabbit bottom, and it kicked her vigorously. She giggled, and held it up to Jonathan. “It’s only a cute little bunny!” she said happily. “Anya made them out of Willow’s sneakers.”
Jonathan blinked, trying to make sense of that, and then sneezed explosively. “Allergic!” he said, frantically trying to twist in Spike’s grasp, away from the rabbit. “I’b allergic do babbits!”
“Aha!” Anya exclaimed triumphantly, “we can rub the bunny up and down on him until he breaks!”
Buffybot had quickly taken the rabbit away from under Jonathan’s watering nose, and now she looked at Anya, alarmed. “Jonathan’s my friend!” she said indignantly. “He repaired me. We mustn’t rub a bunny on him if he doesn’t want us to!”
“Nobody is going to rub a .... I mean, nobody is going to torture Jonathan,” said Giles firmly. Anya scowled. He turned to Jonathan, who was sneezing convulsively. “But we do have some questions to ask you.”
“Iz dere any Zyrtec in der house?” said Jonathan, “Ged me a Xirax, and I’ll tell you eberything I know.” Dawn sprang up and thundered up the stairs to hunt in the bathroom.
Spike, meanwhile, had strolled over to look at the rabbit in Buffybot’s arms. “Someone been busy with a spray can, then?” he asked, looking down at the blue and red stripes with some interest.
“Don’t let Spike get anywhere near it, Lara,” said Buffy. “He’ll only bite its head off.” Buffybot moved the rabbit backward out of range, alarmed, as Spike turned to scowl at Buffy.
“Or gamble it away in a poker game,” said Xander. Spike scowled at him in turn.
"I thought vampires ate people?" asked Buffybot, confused. Spike bared his teeth at her, and she scurried quickly back to the cardboard box on the coffee table, and slipped the rabbit inside, away from Spike’s hungry eyes.
Dawn came back into the room, Xirax in hand. She stared. “Why is the carpet on fire?” she asked.
Everyone turned. Unnoticed in all the excitement, the string bag containing the hot/cold stone had combusted and set a ring of carpet alight in the process. In the centre of the spreading blaze the stone glowed like a red eye from hell. Xander ran over and stamped on the flames, then danced back, frantically trying to rip his burning sneaker off.
"Ow, ow! Water needed!" Buffybot and Giles both ran for the kitchen.
"How do you switch that darned thing off?" cried Buffy petulantly, pointing to the stone.
"Ah," said Willow, "now that's a very good question." She looked hopefully at Buffybot's retreating back.
"Extingue!" shouted Tara, pointing at the blaze. There was a sudden pocket of darkness above the flames, a little whump, and the stone went dark.
Buffybot ran into the room, with a washing up bowl full of water in her hands, and threw it over the burning carpet. In a moment there was only an acrid smell of burnt carpet fibres, and a small pall of smoke.
Giles appeared behind her, hot and panting, a water-filled casserole pot in his arms. He looked at the now quenched blaze, sighed, and put the casserole dish down. Anya patted him on the back.
Tara stepped cautiously forward, and picked up the now dark stone. "I didn't know I knew how to do that," she said. She looked at Willow, excited. "Maybe the Sorcerer's spell is getting weaker!"
Buffy took the stone from Tara's hand, and gave a decisive nod. “Right,” she said, “well, we know how to find the sorcerer, don't we?" She held up the stone. "Let's crank up another hot/cold spell and get on his trail!"
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