Buffybot Behind Bars
PAIRING: None
RATING: PG-13
FEEDBACK: Very welcome, to [email protected]
BETA: Miss Murchison - thanks!
SETTING: The summer before the start of season 6. Buffy is gone, Buffybot is doing her best to fill the gap.
DISCLAIMER: The only characters who belong to me are the ones you’ve never heard of before. Otherwise, I’m borrowing, and I promise to put them all back in good condition, and only slightly used...
Chapter 7: The Scoobies in Turmoil
Xander paced up and down, while Anya lounged with her feet on the coffee table, reading “A New Girl at St Claire’s”, an open packet of chocolate digestives beside her.
Giles and the girls had been an awfully long time - and how long did an court hearing take anyway? Surprisingly, in spite of the many, many illegal acts they’d committed in the cause of fighting evil, none of the Scoobies had ever made it as far as a courtroom. Well, they had their first representative there now.
Giles’ car drew up with a screech and Xander hurried out. One glance told him that things hadn’t gone well. Giles slammed the car door violently and strode up the path, two bright spots burning in his cheeks.
“How?...” began Xander, but Giles stopped him with a outstretched palm.
“Not now, Xander,” he said, “I have phone calls to make and letters to write! Ask Willow.” He stomped into the house, and his voice echoed back, “Anya! Feet off the furniture please. Were you raised in a barn?”
Anya came out to join Xander, a frown on her face. “So what if I was raised in a barn? Lots of perfectly respectable people were raised in barns in my day.”
Willow and Tara were trudging up the path. “If only she hadn’t made the crack about the dress,” said Willow, “I think you’d have persuaded him otherwise, honey. In spite of Giles getting all temperamental.”
“He’s still temperamental now,” said Anya disapprovingly, “he just made a crack about barns which I personally found most offensive.”
Everyone looked at her for a moment. She folded her arms. “What?” she said, “I’m not allowed to have ethnic sensitivities?”
Tara blinked and looked back to Willow. “Well, he was provoked, to be fair,” she said, “but still, I didn’t think he was the kind of guy to make a scene in court and get carried out and all...”
“Giles was carried out of court?” said Xander, interested. “Literally?”
“Well, more put in an arm lock and then frog marched out,” said Tara.
“Yelling all the way,” said Willow.
“Calling everyone ‘bloody fascists’” said Tara.
“Ok,” said Anya, “and after our ethnically insensitive British friend made a spectacle of himself, what happened to little Miss Sunshine?”
Tara folded her arms and sighed, “She’s been remanded in custody until Monday. And I really can’t see how someone can fail to notice just how weird she is between now and then.”
“Well,” said Willow, “I think they kinda expect weird in the prison system. But her batteries will only last 72 hours - less if she’s been exerting herself.” She counted backwards mentally, “I charged her right up on Friday afternoon before she went patrolling, but she’s going to be red lining it by Monday.”
“Can’t you spell girls just transport her out?” said Xander.
“We probably could transport her...” said Willow.
“But it wouldn’t be safe,” said Tara firmly.
Willow looked wistful. “No, I’m not entirely sure it would work - we could end up just transporting her insides to her outsides or something.”
“You see,” said Tara earnestly, “spells involving Buffybot are rather difficult; she isn’t a creature of the elements. In fact she isn’t really a creature at all.”
“She’s a glorified kitchen appliance,” said Anya impatiently.
“Well,” said Xander, “ I wonder what our Brave Little Toaster is doing now?”
............
Buffybot gazed around her as she stepped out of the prison van, and through the door into the prison reception. When the judge had said she had to go to prison, it had been a shock, she had to admit - but still it was only for the weekend and they’d said she could recharge her batteries. Luckily, her recent reading had prepared her for this very event. She remembered how, in ‘A New Girl at St Catherine’s’, Simone, the sensitive French girl had said so dramatically, “theese school ees like a preeson - ‘ow I long to return to my beloved famille.”
Simone had settled in at St Catherine’s of course (proving to be surprisingly good at hockey) after Monica the stern head girl had told her to just buckle down and jolly well make the best of it. Buffybot was determined to do the same here at Sunnydale Women’s Penitentiary. She strode forward, determined to do her very best to fit in.
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