LINDA WALLFAN JOHNSON Page 5

Linda thinks her scam is going to reap dividends, as Lady Greatlay is in the money!

Text Key:

Blue Text Colour: Authors comments

Red Text Colour: The Mugu

Green Text Colour: The Baiter

Orange Text Colour: The Baiter’s Personal Assistant

Fuchsia Text Colour: The Baiter pretending to be a fellow scammer

Cast of Characters:

Mrs Linda Wallfan Johnson, The SCAMMER

Master Richard Johnson, The SCAMMER’S “Son” (Probably the scammer himself)

Lady Mia Greatlay, British Aristocracy, and the Scammer’s intended victim

Mr Johnathon Wad, Lady Greatlay’s boozing womanising personnel assistant

Crystal Security, The Scammers so called security company that has the box of cash.

Linda2, Myself pretending to be a fellow scammer attempting to take over the scam from Linda

Finally, more hints from Linda she need some cash!

Hello Johnny,

How are you doing over there now and how is lady Mia today. I hope she will have time to write to me today. I am here with Richard and he is sending his regards to you. Please have you send the application to the security company??

I have my possible best to see if I can get some money so that as soon as you send the application I can be able to afford and pay the money they are asking from me here. But I have try and can only get just $390 so I don't know what to do to complete the money and pay them for the change of ownership. Please I want you to help me and tell lady Mia about this and see if she can do some for me.

Meanwhile, I do really know that they will be asking money from me before changing of the ownership here. You know our condition here since we ran away from my country because of the war to this town. We have been in the refuge camp without no income to our pocket only using the little we came here with to take care of ourself here. Please tell her to have me complete the payment so that we can get consignment out of the security company for a new life. Look at my son (Richard) he is the only hope for me now since the father died with the sister durning the war in my country. He is only hoping unto me for a new life. I know what I am asking from you might sound funny but this is what we are going through here. We don't have much to pay for the hotel bills for a long time so that is why I am asking you to help us so to be fast and get the consignment released to us.

Tell Lady Mia that Richard is sending regards too. I will be waiting to read from you soonest. God bless and be with you.

A drunken Johnny Wad replies.

Hello Linda, I hope all is vely well with you? Yes, I have sent the application. But dont you worry about that, my child, because I have good news! Today has been a day of huge celebration here at Greatlay Towers, we finally got the impotent Doctor that caused Lady Greatlay's disability into court, only for him to settle out of court, the spineless bastard. The story is unfortunately already in the evening papers and even on Sky News! Lady Greatlay shuns publicity of any sort, so we all got very drunk to celebrate. I have attached a clipping so you can understand why we are so happy. Lady Greatlay got a little over Six Million Pounds in the settlement, plusNothing like a lot of money to keep the bait alive! she got to ream his arse good and proper, the bastard, you should haveheard him scream! Like a stuck pig!. The beer and whiskey has really been flowing this afternoon, we are so happy for Lady Greatlay. I am very drunk and having diffuculty typing, in fact I think I need to lie down, so please excuse any spelling mishtakes.

May God be with and give you all you deserve. Amen

Johnny

More great work from Marvinator!

At the same time, Linda tries to hit Lady Greatlay up for some quick cash.

Hello lady Mia,

It have been a long time reading from you, you have been busy I know. How are you doing today? Johnny told my that you went to court yesterday with the foolish Dr. Sparrow who made your condition of not speaking this way. Johnny sent the news paper to me and I read about it. I know all you have been going through since all this while. No matter what so even he can use to offer in replacement of you health is meaningless to compare to your condition now, is only God that can solve this for us. Beleive in the God we worship and trust in him he is the God almighty and will see you through every condition that comes our way. There is nothing he can not do in our lifes. He can change your condition over night and make you what he want you to be. So I beleive you still have the chance to talk again since there is God almighty say (Amen).

Meanwhile Johnny inform me today that he have already send the application to the security company today in your name in changing of the ownership in your name. But I have not got to them because now I am trying my best to get the money which they are asking from me so that I can visit them with all they need from us on friday. Someone promise to give me some money for that Gold neckless on friday. So let me wait till then. I don't have money here and I don't know that they will need such big amount from me a widow before changing the ownership. You know africans, you must pay something in order to get what you want from people.

Please if you can also find it in your heart to help me complete the payment which I know you will get it back as soon as we get the box out from the security company. I have with me $380 dollars here with me. I don't really know how you will feel about what I am asking from you right now. But this is what I am facing right here now. You know I have to pay for the guest house bills and to take care of my son Richard. I think you have his picture too?? I told him about you and he is sending his regards to you.

Please I am waiting to hear from you soonest and may the almighty God bless and be with you.

Mrs.Linda.

More hints that she wants money? You will have to work a little harder for it my dear!

Johnny replies the next morning.

Dearest Linda,
oh how my head hurts. I had way to much of Lady Greatlay and her 15 year old special blend Scotish malt whiskey last night. My little head is throbbing as I type this, and so does my brain. Did the security company get the application okay, we have had so many problems with this damn new scanner? Hope you and little Dick is doing okay. Do you remember me asking you if you have heard of brewers droop? You didnt answer my question. It is a very rare and hard to get Irish malt whisky. The last known batch was exported to South Africa during World War II, but the shipment was lost, believed sunk, at some place called "the land that god made in anger", which is supposed to be somewhere near Namibia. Even though the ship is believed to be sunk, some bottles have been found in West Africa. These bottles of whisky fetch up to £800 a case, but if you can find any, I will gladly pay you £1000 for every case of brewers droop that you can get your hands on. Brewers droop is simply the finest whisky ever made, unfortunately the distillery burnt down in the Irish Republician Wars so it is no longer made. Brewers droop is the scourge of women, because it turns wild men into limp men. Ask everyone in the camp if they have seen any brewers droop. I have enclosed a picture of a bottle of brewers droop whisky. Alas it is as close as I have ever got to getting brewers droop. Please, try and find me some brewers droop, I must get it eventually.

Johnny Wad

I wont bother posting the picture of Brewers Droop, it was just a picture of an empty whiskey bottle.

ENTER “CRYSTAL SECURITY COMPANY”, Linda’s so called secure storage company holding the box of cash!

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From: "Crystal security Accra-Ghana" <[email protected]>
To: "Johnny Wad" <john_wad@xxxxxxxx>
Date: Thu, 26 May 2005 00:06:59 +0800
Subject: Acknowledgement of your application

From the desk of the vault manager
crystal security and trust company
Accra-Ghana

Attn: Lady Mia Greatlay

Sir,

This is to acknowledge your application of change of ownership to the consignment number (N° 106 )from the company's central vault here in Accra-Ghana. One Mrs. Linda who claims to be the wife of our late customer (Mr. Johnson Phillip) Came to our office in regards of this same consignment under our care. So please we will like you to confirm to us if she is your partner here. We also ask her to bring the death certificate of her husband and deposit certificate of the consignment with the sum of nine hundred and seventy dollar ($970) before we could be able to make the change of ownership in your name. But first We could not identify any information on the passport you send to us. Please you are advice to re-send to us the information on the passport before we can procced.

You are also requested to come over here to our office to sign the necesary documents before your consignment will be release to you. Should in case you may not be able to come down here to our office. Please do let us know so that you can make use of our company lawyer here for the signing off of your consigment. We are going to send the company's protocol officer to pick you from the airport on arrival and regarding to this, you are to update this office with your flight schedule so that your appointment date will be recorded and updated.

We are anicipating that you receive this message in good condition
and in the return receipt of your reply and confiramtion as requested.

Thanks for your immense understanding and co-operation.

Mrs.Mbila Dudu.
(Vault manager C.S.T.C Accra-Ghana)

CRYSTAL SECURITY AND  TRUST COMPANY
ACCRA-GHANA.
Contact person:Mr.Edward Osie Yaw
TEL : + 233 243 487413
FAX : + 233 21 311 634
E-MAIL: [email protected] or [email protected]

Oh dear, they “could not identify any information on the passport“

And Linda is struggling to raise the $970, are more hints that Johnny should pay it coming?

Hello Johnny,

I am sorry I could not reply to your mail in time. I was trying to make sure that I complete this money for the change of the ownership to the security company. I think I can go to their office here on friday. Someone promise to get the money for me on that friday.

How are you doing together with lady Mia, I am happy that you could be able to send the application to the security company. Please keep informing me of any information from the security company. For your information, the security company do not know the contain of the box with them. So please be very careful with your conversation with them not to mention that is money in it. Please this is our life. May the almighty God guide and protect you till we meet face to face. Richard is sending his greetings to you and say that he will like to see your picture too.

Good night and sound sleep.

Mrs. Linda.

Time to get her hopes up, and then dash them!

Good evening Linda,

Lady Greatlay has forwarded me your email to her, and she has instructed me to help you in this time of great need. I am to use some of the available funds from "The Wayward Children Charity" account to help you with your security company fees and your accommodation charges. The use of The Wayward Children Charity account is quite proper, above board and very legal as your little Dick is still legally considered a child and your little Dick is definatly in need of help. I am to transfer USD$2000 (Two Thousand US Dollars) to you as soon as you can provide me the relevant details. I need from you the following:

1. Full name of account holder
2. Name of Bank
3. Type of account
4. Account number
5. Bank Local Branch name.

Once you provide these banking details I will electronically transfer the USD2000 bank to bank. Electronic transfers are for all purposes instant and risk free.

Now that your money transfer part of this letter is done, I must tell you I am getting very annoyed with you Linda. Once again you did not answer any of my questions. Have you come across any brewers droop? Have you ever seen brewers droop, or does anyone in your hostel know how you can get brewers droop? If brewers droop is to found anywhere in the world, it has to be in West Africa. Remember that I told you the last known batch was lost in World War Two? It was lost off the coast of West Africa, near a port called Walvis Bay, do you know of this port? I heard it is in Namibia or something like that. Some cases of brewers droop have definitely been found there. One case that was sourced from West Africa was auctioned at Sothebys last year and went for £830. Remember, I am willing to pay £1000 (One Thousand Pounds Sterling) for any cases of brewers droop you can get your hands on. Maybe little Dick knows how to get brewers droop, kids are good at finding things like this out.

May God be with you Linda, and I pray that you find some brewers droop soon.

Johnny Wad

Now I have got her hopes up, its time to confirm my dedication to this endeavour by contacting the security company. If indeed they are one and the same, then she will think she is soon going to get some spending cash. WRONG!

Mrs Mbila Dudu,

I can confirm that my employer, Lady Mia Greatlay ESQ, is indeed the true and legal partner to Mrs Linda Wallfan-Johnson.

With reference to the death certificate of her husband and deposit certificate, these are believed to be in the possession of Mrs Linda Wallfan-Johnson. I have sighted electronic copies of the said documents but not the originals. As for the sum of nine hundred and seventy US dollars ($970), Mrs Linda Wallfan-Johnson will soon have the required funds. Please have patience in this matter.

With reference to failure on your behalf in confirming the identity of Lady Greatlay, you did not ask for any identity details, all you asked for was a copy of her passport. This I provided. Next time, be more specific in what you require, this is most unprofessional. I have enclosed another scan of Lady Greatlay's International Royal Family British Passport, this time I hope it contains the details you require.
I must remind you that Lady Greatlay is British Royalty, and her details are to be kept strictly confidential. Because Lady Greatlay is Royalty, in this matter I MUST INSIST THAT THE IDENTITY DOCUMENTS BE IMMEDIATELY DESTROYED once you have sighted them. Identity theft is rampant in your part of the world and we do not desire the said documents falling into criminal hands. We have recently received a new flat bed scanner in this office and it has proved to be quite troublesome. My apologies if you have any problem opening the scanned file. We are endeavoring to replace the problem scanner, but an ongoing industrial dispute (strike)is currently preventing delivery.

Johnathon Wad
PA to Lady Greatlay ESQ
MG Holdings Inc.
Suite 14, Greatlay Towers

Macclesfield

At last, that pesky scanner finally works!

What next? Linda thinks payday is soon, but a new player is about to sink her ship!

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