I'm in my third week here and everything is going well. The training that I was researching for the last time I was in Amman took place this past Saturday. It was funny because I sat through the entire 2 hour session and didn't know if it was actually the "Negotiation Skills" training or if they switched it at the last moment! Not until the end did I know for sure when my couterpart Z. said "Kelly training good, they like"
I have exciting news! I found an internet cafe in my "village" I wasn't able to update my website when I was there so if you want to be a part of my mass emails in between website updates, please send me an email. In the subject, put "Mailing List."
Everyday I have pretty much the same routine at work. I decided to document my day so that you at home could get a glimse into the PC world:
7:50 - Arrive
7:51 - Sit and read 2003 British magazine "Hello" and looked through Rough Guide to Jordan to see where the buses go
8:10 - Go to kitchen for coffee
8:14 - Return and drink coffee
8:20 - Finish coffee and regret not buying more paper yesterday to make more Arabic flash cards
8:21 - Read book "Icy Sparks" - start on page 130
8:40 - Sit, Read, & Ordered a Fanta soda from A. who didn't understand me since I usually buy a Falafel (for .15)
8:53 - Rested my eyes. Sit while Z. and M. talk, made a list of movies I want to get for my new VCD player
9:05 - Read
9:14 - Sit, wrote name of book I'm reading on my list of books, put 2 books on a bookshelf & organized desk
9:21 - Read
9:30 - Woman come in to talk and I listen
9:34 - Woman leaves and I read
9:35 - A. forgot my Fanta! I got mango juice instead and grapes from M.
9:50 - Stopped reading to clean desk and to say the grapes where delicious
9:51 - Read
9:54 - Stop to watch M. stick paper in the electricial socket to balance the plug
9:55 - Read
10:10 - Break, texted Scott, stretched, went to bathrool, figured out exhange rate for certain items (tv, vcd, grapes)
10:21 - Read
10:25 - Texted Melissa and Lindsay (8 texts in all)
10:30 - Read
10:36 - A. comes in dancing (its really cute because she's like 75!)
10:37 - Back to reading
10:50 - Break, Text Jennifer and Anyess, walk around, stretch toes
11:01 - Read
11:12 - Text Jennifer and Read
11:45 - Woman and daughter come in
11:48 - Read
11:52 - Break, went to Z. and reviewed for Saturdays training class. Woman came in (looks homeless). I was right, she was homeless and M. discreetly slipped some money to her. Its interesting how bold people are here...Decided to make a list of the money I give to homeless
12:24 - Read
12:32 - Text Scott
12:32 - Homeless woman leaves (thats right she sat there for 40 mins)
12:55 - M. talks to me about changes to the training and how her brother wants me to go to his house to talk to me and make me Mansoff (traditional Jordanian meal) - relax folks i'm not going
1:12 - Read
1:20 - Bathroom break
1:25 - Read
1:30 - Begin discussing workshop ideas, make list of trainings I can do, although I need someone to translate
2:00 - Its Thursday so we get to go home at 2! Ended at page 276 of book.
I hope you enjoyed my daily activities. Its amazing how much faster the day goes when you make a list! I have a TON of lists...and I can only imagine what I'll be making lists of in 6 months :) We'll see :)
I am writing this from an internet cafe in my village!!! Its finally happened, I' m finally connected to the world :) I can access Yahoo Messager from here but not AOL IM so if you have Yahoo, add me to your buddy list and if out time ever overlap...It would be a lot of fun to write... I could have a pen pal or two from the States, who ever would have guessed that would happen :)
The good news first. I bought a tv and vcd player. Yesterday I went into Amman to find the tourist center to find information on Jordan so that I could start exploring the city but unfortunately we couldn't find it... Fortunately however we did find a place to buy VCD's and I got 4 movies...a dollar each :) Its funny because in the movies I've seen people go into the movies to videotape the movie...but I thought that was JUST in the movies. I was watching one of the movies I bought last night and low and behold...someone in the front of the theater stood up, probably to get some popcorn or use the little boys room but i saw him cross the row of people to get out! I laughed...it was so classic.
The bad news is that it has been a hard couple of days. Good thing for my 10 day rule because I was ready to pack up and go yesterday. No one talks to me so i am practically alone here to begin with. Then the only day we have off to explore and visit other volunteers is Friday, which of course is the day the buses don't run...so I'm stranded (sort of) in my village. Of course I can get into Amman whenever I want, but I really want to see Petra, Irbid, Mufrak, Kerak, jersh, and I don't know when I'm going to be able to do this! We have the one weekend a month off but I just found out today that I'm going to be going to Amman to work at other center every saturday, so I don't think I'm going to be able to meet up with everyone! Of course I can take another day off but I don't know how happy my center is going to be with my out of the office yet another day. We'll play it by ear, it can only get better.
Now the really really bad news. I got a text message from a volunteer the other day saying there was an honor killing right near her house. She was 22 years old with two small children. She was a history teacher and was shot by her 20 year old brother and her body was burned. They're aren't even sure she was unfaithful. I read about these things happening in books. Queen Noor spoke about it in her book, 'Leap of Faith," and it was awful to imagine such things occuring but to have to happen so close...and I'm not even there... is traumatizing. Its really disturbing to know these things occur and that it is acceptable behavior. If I remember correctly from one of our in-service trainings when we first got here, the most they will get is 4 months in prison, and that if someone chooses to prosecute.
I'm keeping busy at work. I'm working on my 2nd training as mentioned in my last journal. I'm almost done writing it and then I'll type it in English. I want to put a binder together to share with the other volunteers if they want to do similar trainings at their center.
I went to the post office today to send a package and a letter. There was a nice man working the desk who asked me to sit and have coffee. He told me about his family, his new bride, and his recent trip to Syria. He also told me he spent 7 months in an Iraqi jail about 2 years ago for smuggling cigarettes. He's glad to be back here with his family and a safer job. Don't be impressed, this entire conversation took place in English :) He then called his wife and I spoke to her on the phone. They invited me to dinner one night and if I need any medications to tell him he'll get them for free for me...his brother works someplace like a hospital or something :) Its all about the connections. now if the PC didn't pay for that stuff, he'd be a great contact to have :)
Thats all for now. Next Friday I'm debating between taking a bus to Irbid to visit some friends or organizing a birthday party for another volunteer who's birthday is Sunday. I can't figure out what to do. Either way, I'm sure I'll have a great time. Until next time,
Asalom
(Peace)
What a day! I left the Center at 10:30 AM. Waited at the bus stop for 40 minutes while countless buses passed me by...all full. At 11:15 AM I decided to catch a different bus going to Amman always unsure of how to proceed when i get there. I get dropped off and I jump on a bus asking first if it goes to "Abduli" (the bus station that I need to get to in order to catch another bus to get to the 4th circle so I can walk to the Peace Corps office) he nodes but within a minute of being on the bus he says "no abduli" then proceeds to speak in Arabic of course I can't understand and tells me to get off, cross street (I get this with hand gesturing only!) and catch a taxi. I'm determined to get there by buses only because the taxis here are running me dry! I wait across the street while more buses pass me by until one stops and tells me to get on. The men on the bus are yelling because its now apparent the bus is driving off its normal route in order to take me to a place where I can pick up a bus to Abdulli. I pretend not to understand because its a very uncomfortable sitation. The bus stops at a major bus station where they tell me to get off..."No Charge" A man gets off the bus with me because the bus driver asks him to get me to the Abduli Bus. I get on the bus with this man, pay the 15 cents, and head for Abduli. At the station I get off looking for a Madaba bus because I KNOW that one going through the 4th circle. The bus controller tells me its 30 cents which I KNOW isn't right because thats how much it costs to go to Madaba and I'm staying in Amman! i question him and he says, 30 cents. I guess there's no discussion. I get off at the 4th circle and start to walk. I'm not exactly sure where I'm going because I've only been there via taxi. I start walking and decide that I'm probably going in the wrong direction. I think I want to be on the other side of this steep incline and decide to myself... its been a long day, lets cut through. I slide down the hill with my two bags in tow (one filled with the 8 books I'm returning to the PC office that I've read during my stay in my village). I finally get to the office, I give myself a pat on the back and say, even though its only a 30 minute drive and its taken me 2 1/2 hours, I made it...all on a bus :)
I got my first letter in my village yesterday - the address works, they must be able to read English - atleast the P.O. box # anyway and I was so excited to get it! My counterpart (cp) delivered it to me at the Center and I ripped the letter open! I read the 8 pages; laughing and shedding a few tears but it was a great feeling, not to mention a great letter. (And Lori, I still have a video of you on my digital camera that we took right before the swamp tour in Louisana, the one you were talking about "crocks matie!: I love it :)
There has been a lot of talk here about the role and perception of women. The most difficult thing to struggle with is how we as American women should act. Ideally we should strive to be good, quiet, muslim women, but we aren't muslim, we are foreigners. Foreigners however, are not accepted and definately not respected but are tolerated as "foreigners." Women from other countries can wear skirts, short sleeve shirts, smoke, drink, and laugh in public but its only tolerated because they are foreginers - they are not respected. Where should our line be drawn. If it was up to some villages here, volunteers would be covering, converting, and marrying a good muslim boy - because that is what good girls do. Its either be respected and accepted or not. Its a fine line that even after 3+ months I don't know where it is. Its not the known things that bother me, its the unknown and after fighting my mother for 26 years saying "who cares what the neighbors think" its now their perception that could make me or break me here. Just for example: If it is THOUGHT (i said thought, not known) that I'm doing drugs I'm on the next plane home because it would ruin my place here in the village and it would hurt the PC face here. My feeling is if anyone here thinks I'm doing drugs then their positive perception of me went out the window a long long time ago, most likely without me even knowing. If I'm doing something wrong no one will tell me, even if asked, because they are "polite." So the only way to survive is to live how I THINK they want me to live but live the way I want or I'll drive myself crazy. Here's a real life example. I wrote on here that there is an internet cafe in my village. The problem with the place is that it is run by men but more problematic is that there are about 10 men hanging out there at any given time. If anyone is on the computer, its a man - and then there is me. I told my landlord I found internet and she said "good" - thats it! My being here can be perceived in 1 of 2 ways - 1) She is American, she's far from her family, and this is the only way she can talk to them, or 2) Why is she going in there, she must be looking for trouble. Realistically I probably stay out of there but I would have to take a bus and taxi to Amman and pay four times the price to get on the internet. I live in a city, things are different and they knew I was a volunteer when I walked in the first time. My landlord and director still call me a "good girl" so I'm still seen in a good light. I don't talk to anyone in there, I sit, do my work, pay, and leave. I have tried incredibly hard to be a good muslin girl - but I'm NOT MUSLIM and I want to show them, just a little bit, of who i am.
They known I'm not muslim -today at work they asked me to show them my hair because I always wear it up (like muslim women). They would NEVER ask a Muslim to do that, yet they had no problem asking me.
We're breaking social norms by just being here - its "haram" for girls to live on their own here and yet, thats what we're doing. Its also haram to shop by yourself, take a taxi, and walk alone - though hmmm we're here, and hmmm we're alone. So its got to be ok for me to go to the internet. I want to be accepted as one of them, but I also want to make it known that although I'm here, I am different. Where's the line? I have no idea.
Asalom
(Peace)
Let me first start by saying that if I should sound angry, upset, or grouchy, its probably because I'm hungry!
I volunteered to put together a cookbook for the J9's, expected here in July 2005. There should be about 40 of them, we are already so excited to meet them ;) I've been trying my hand at a few local dishes, minus the meat, and I like it a lot! I've made hommos twice and yesterday I made a soup called Adis. The soup is for my guest tonight, Melissa (MD), who is staying over for the second time. It's a great benefit to living so close to Amman.
Last night I was invited to my FIRST iftar. During Ramadam since you fast all day, when the sun sets, the first meal, the breaking of the fast (iftar) is a big event. Most volunteers haven't had a night to themselves while my Ramadan goal became to receive at least ONE visit. AND I GOT IT! My landlord invited me over. There were 5 of us, Khlood and Russia (my host sisters), their father, and Wen, the domestic help. It was a little awkward and quiet but the food was delicious, I ate a date for the first time and sat and drank tea in front of their large TV and satellite before going back upstairs to finish my cooking and cleaning. I was thrilled when i was invited!
Its getting a little chilly here at night but its still gorgeous weather, probably in the 70's if I had to guess. Last night around 9 PM I went outside to hang two shirts to dry and it was warm enough for my tank top. Beautiful huh? I hope it doesn't get too cold quickly because I haven't bought a wonter coat yet, maybe within the next month if I can find a store that sells clothing in a size larger than 6 :)
Aproximately November 14, Eide starts. its the closing of Ramadan where offices are closed down for at least 3 days. A lot of volunteers are heading to the beach! We are looking forward to the time away. There are a LOT of volunteers that we haven't seen since training so its also a reunion in away. After that we have our Christmas party to look forward to. December is also the month that we can start taking vacation time!
Because the PC volunteered my services EVERY saturday to a center in Amman I will probably have to take vacation time to see some volunteers. Its great, but what can ya do? I'm not even sure when this is going to start really. I've waited the last two weeks fr someone to pick me up but no one came. It's weird but I hear its normal. I went went my Director a few weeks ago to give a workshop at a different center. We showed up at 9:30 AM and I asked what time it started. She said "When they come." Can you imagine? Cultural differences.
My arabic is coming along for a couple of weeks I was learning 10-15 words a day, I needed a little break though and will go back to that soon. I've also been thinking about a tutor (which the PC will pay for) but when I asked the Director of my Center if she knows anyone who knows English she said "No." So I don't know what I'll do if Jennifer can't tutor me but I'll figure it out.
I have first hand knowledge that they eat camel here!!! (And I pray to God I haven't but I really wouldn't know if I did!) Meat stores here are as prevelont as fruit stores and dukons. Every now and then you'll see an animal tied up waiting to be slaughtered because the next day, without doubt, you see that cute little face hanging upside down. Last week I heard crying as I walked to the bank. I then saw two camels, sitting on the side of the street. I thought it was weird that they were sitting because the last time I saw a camel in my village it was thrashing around in the back of a truck making noises that disturbed my soul. I could be wrong, and i pray to God that I am but these little fellas were sitting because it looked like their legs were cut off!!! I had to concentrate very hard to keep from vomiting of the street...and I'm not even a vegetarian! I know its fresher this way but its just more humane (for me) to buy it froozen in a supermarket.
Well, on that note. Have a good week and I'll try to update in a week or so!
Asalom