Its been a month since I last wrote. Originally I decided not to write on my here or in my journal for 2 weeks prior to our last Language Proficiency Interview because I was very afraid of not doing well. I studied every night and reviewed during the day. When it came time for the exam I felt confident. I went into the interview and understood the interviewers questions this time! So I was thrilled to death! I got a "Novice High" which keeps me in Jordan :) Funny story though. I told my host family that if I didn't do well on the exam the PC would send me home. The youngest girl who is 11, bends down, kisses me on the cheek, and says "goodbye!" Can you believe it? AND...My host father was also telling me that my Arabic was "no good!" There was something in the water at the village.
On September 14, we moved into a hotel in Mataba for two nights in preparation for our "Swearing In" - when we become real volunteers! :) I was in a triple with two other girls, Ami and Melissa. Ami is from Southern NJ and Melissa is from Maryland! We had a great time hanging out. I finally got to hang out on the roof at the hotel. The second night at the hotel is going to be a night I remember for a long long time. All the volunteers and PC staff went out to dinner. After dinner a bunch of us where sitting around hanging out and a few of us made a decision to stay up for our last night of training. We went back to the hotel, and hung out on the roof. Slowly, everyone went to sleep except for 7 of us (Ami, Melissa, Gilbert, Adam, Anyess, Lindsay, and myself). It was FREEZING up there so we got a bunch of blankets and huddled together telling stories and laughing. At about 3:30AM we decided it was just too cold to sit out there so we decided to build a tent...pardon me, a fort on the roof of this hotel! We all crammed into this tiny little area and continued to sit and chat until 4:30 AM or so when we decided to go inside. It still wasn't time to go to sleep so we sat up reading through a book that I brought "The Book of Questions." We started off with questions like, "would you want to marry someone both smarter and more attractive than you," "if you were given the opportunity to live 20 years of the most fulfilling and meaningful life you could, but at the end it would mean you would die, would you?," and so forth. We come to the question of "would you leave the country for $1,000,000 and never return," and decide to modify it. We came up with "Would you move to the Middle East for 2 years for $6,000?" At 5:00 AM this was about the funniest thing in the world! LOL
The next day we wake up early to go to the ceremony (by the way we didn't stay up all night, we went to sleep around 5:45 AM or so). The week before we had voted that Ami and Ricky would be our spokespersons. They had to write a speech and have it translated into Arabic and then read it in front of everyone! They both did so well, we were all so proud of them :)
My counterpart comes up to me before we're out of the auditorium and says "We must leave" PAUSE "at 12 and a half" My heart sank...I thought she was going to tell me we had to leave now. At that moment it hit me "this is over, I'm leaving all the people I've grown dependent on for the last 10 weeks, everything is going to change, and in just a couple of hours, I'm going to be alone." It was a little too much for me to handle emotionally and started to cry once I was by myself. Almost immediately, volunteers started leaving and each time I said goodbye to someone it would resurface all my emotions. Needless to say this was one of the most difficult days of my life-ironically since I just met these people only 10 weeks ago but being so close to each other, using each other for support in one of the most confusing and unsettling times in my life, laughing together, learining a new culture and language together, and just having a voice that you can call when its just too hard, causes a dependence I have never known.
I was one of the last ones to leave because I kept running away from my counterpart...I just wanted to say goodbye to everyone. :)
Eventually we hopped in the van headed for my new home. It was a quiet ride because there was just so much going on in my head. Once we get to my house, the bags are deposited at my front door and my counter part turns and says "ok, Saturday 8AM." Being that it was only Thursday I turn and say "thats it?" And she resonds with "do you need anything?" I respond with "Ah...I guess not." What else can I say? I have no food, I have a ton of things to buy for a house I am just moving into, and I need someone to show me where to go, and help me buy the things I need! Instead I turn and walk up the stairs. My landlord is 34 and her sister is 20. They are both incredibly helpful and it was the 20 year old that took me to buy food and some of the basic necessities for my house. In Jordan, everything is based on relationships, its those relationships that tell you where to buy things. There are 10 stores on the same street that sell the same things but you only go to one. You develop a relationship with that person and then you shop there all the time. There is no such thing as "distributing the wealth, or supporting everyone..." if you shop at other places you are not seen in a positive light. Not to mention when they see a foreigner, especially an American, some of them, all of a sudden, raise the prices! Well I don't have that relationship yet so I need someone to introduce me to show them that I am a part of the community. Every day since I've gotten here I've walked around the market street just so they get used to seeing me :)
I put pictures of my apartment on here!
On Saturday I woke up early to walk to work. I left at 7AM because it looked like it was so far away. I'm walking, not really sure where I'm going but I know the general direction of where I need to go. I think about calling my counter part for help but when she asked "where are you" I would have no idea how to respond. So I keep walking :) Eventually, a van pulls over and the director of my center yells to me "not that way, you keep going, you go to Amman!" I hop in and she tells me that the next day, I take the Center van. LOL
Two days later I try to walk again, this time I make it! Its only 20 minutes, up hill ... so its going to be great exercise!
Today I am in Amman researching for a "Negotiating Skills" training that I am to write before next weekend. The fun part is going to be when I have to translate it into Arabic. My director asks "this easy or hard" and I respond with "practically impossible!" and we both laugh... because she didn't understand me LOL
I better get to work. I have a lot of work ahead of me. The PC staff person who links volunteers up with the sites did an amazing job! I will be doing more trainings and proposal writing than anyone else. I will have the opportunity to play with the kids and design programs for them, but I have administrative type of work which I am thrilled about!
Take Care and I hope to write again soon. Bad news, there is no internet in my village. But the good news is Amman is only 30 minutes away by bus. :)