Gathered from Friends

Matt W: I have a deep appreciation for cultures that don't annoy the shit out of me.

Matt M: That was good fuckin' tuna taco. I nearly drove back out there.

Rob: I was good with 9-women-in-a-hotel-room.

Matt M: There aren't any non-creepy animals that don't pee a lot

Fellow Fogo Diner: Is �Delish-arific� a word?
Several of us: It is now.

Joe: Dude, he�s shiny. He�s not gay.

Rodney: Yeah, well! I�ve got other friends
Matt W: But you don�t have to put $20s down our pants

I�d like to be a pirate.

Random Guy: He�s a gay queer.
Kelley: As opposed to all those straight queers?

Matt W: Do you know what I liked best about college?
Kelley: What
Matt: Blowjobs.

Matt W: And that�s when I was arrested for offending the dead.

Megan: Kelley, I just can�t take it! The pressure�s too much!

Matt W: Were you making fun of somebody?
Kelley: Probably

Joe: I think the fat guy just hurt himself.

Megan: I AM the Sandal Queen!

Gary: We are all just assholes.

Jeff: Back in my day, a date was a bottle of Strawberry Hill and a pillow.

Jeff: Now all we need is a counting machine and some chicks in their underwear.

Rebecca: We are comfortable with the fact that you are, indeed, a moron.

Rebecca: If it walks like a duck, and it talks like a duck...
Kelley: It's gay?

"Jeff Wilson, bowing up?? Give me a break!"  --Jeff Wilson.

Rebecca: Yeah, well, you find me an oily rag and a cat....

Matt W: Your Mom just said "Knockers"!

Kelley: Well, she has a great face for radio.
Rebecca: OOOOO! That's not nice.
Stacy: Tell me!

Bill: Just sit down and try not to say anything.

Bryan: 100 bucks to get it in my hand. We can talk about price after that."

Simon: Pino is the whitest black man ever. He should apoplgize to us for the cotton-picking.

Todd: I asked for a phoenix and she gave me a flaming chicken.

Gary to Curtis: You were doing some world-fucking-class snoring. It was epic.

Simon: Did that make sense?
Kelley: Only coming from you.

Simon: I do love my niggers.

Jeff: It doesn't matter if he's ugly. Just sit on his face and get him to hum.

Mike: So, they're gay geeks?
Chris: Yeah. They're the ones with the pink pocket protectors.

Seren: You need midget Elvii to carry your train.

Seren: I can't believe you didn't come up with midget Elvises on your own.

Rob: Holy tits, that's funny.
Kelley: Did you just say 'Holy tits'?
Rob: Yes. What's holier than tits? Only the Lord Almighty could make something as badass as tits.

Rockstar Rob: I pay for my porn. I know I'm clean.

Seren: I think I need to wash my eyeballs now.

Peckles: Kelley, do you own a tiara?
Kelley: Have you met me??

Rob: I was talking about the Mavericks.
Kelley: Oh. I don't think in that sport.

Kelley: I judge everyone individually.
Peckles: I judge everyone!

Ann: Don't poke me with the baby needles!
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