The warm morning sun poked its way into Michelle's room waking her from the peace she had finally found in slumber. The moment she arose from bed her neck throbbed with pain. The bruises had blacken further over night. Just by looking at the image that stared back at her from the mirror Michelle knew that no amount of make-up would hide them. She found herself crying softly her eyes fixed on her reflection. There was no way that she could go to school. How was she supposed to hide this? Michelle quickly dressed and headed out of the house before Aunt Meta returned from her friends that morning.

Michelle didn't even know what she was heading. She felt helpless, confused and utterly lost. This wasn't the first time that she had been forced to hide Parker's bruises, yet this was the very first time that she was forced to relive them each and every time she looked into a mirror.

How had she ever let herself get caught up in all of this? At the start Parker had been a gentleman. Anything she wanted he had done. Flowers, candy, concerts, Parker was so attentive, so protective, then his true self began to slowly creep forward. Michelle had found a way to somehow blame herself for his actions. She found herself reasoning that he loved her and didn't want to lose her. Yet upon now facing the reality she knew in truth his only desire was to control her. To this day he was still doing his very best to control her. The stunt in the park proved it in spades.

What was she supposed to do? How was she supposed to end this? Parker obviously wasn't about to take no for an answer.

Perhaps Stacey had been right, maybe she should discuss this with Malcolm. The thought of doing so frightened her. Her only thoughts were of what he would think of her. Knowing who her mother was how could he even begin to understand the place she was. Michelle had forever been a take charge kind of person but in the end she was no more then a victim. A person who was letting a man who claimed to love her, abuse her. As disappointed as she was in herself couldn't wrap her mind around what her mother must have thought looking down at her daughter from heaven.

Michelle was crying so hard now she had to pull over to the side of the road. She missed her mom terribly. At this moment in time she needed Maureen more then she ever had before. She longed to feel her mother's arms around her telling her that everything was going to be all right. Michelle looked up towards the sky and started talking to her mom.

"I need you," she sighed, "I need your help and guidance. Things are such a mess right now," she cried again, "I am such a screw up mom. God how I miss you."

Michelle was startled by a knock on the car window. She looked over to see Danny Santos peering in at her. Quickly she wiped away her tears before rolling down the window. "Hey," she said weakly.

"What are you doing here?" he quizzed noticing her once again tear soaked face.

Michelle looked around to see that she was parked near Clayton High. "To be honest with you I don't have a clue. I was just driving around."

"Aren't you supposed to be in school?"

"I could say the same for you," Michelle quickly retorted.

"Monday, Wednesday and Friday I only have classes half a day then I head over to the center to work for Malcolm. Okay warden?" Danny teased surprised that his defensive nature hadn't reared its ugly head.

"I'm sorry," Michelle said.

"Forget it. Are you okay?"

"Yeah…..no…who the hell knows. It's been a lousy day so far."

"You want to head over to the center with me?" Danny asked with a slight smile.

Michelle paused for a moment, "Yes, I'd like that."

"Can you give me a lift?" Danny asked sheepishly.

"Oh I get it, you just needed a ride," Michelle grinned his direction.

"No…no that's okay then," Danny said backing away from the car.

"Come on get it," Michelle made her best attempt at sounding displeased.

The easy exchange between the two was a welcome change for both of them. This was the first time all morning Michelle even felt like smiling and for Danny he hadn't had this easy banter in more years then he could count.

They rode the half mile to the center in a sudden awkward silence both wanting to speak but neither knowing where to begin. To her amazement, Michelle was finally starting to relax. It was bizarre the calming effect that Danny Santos seemed to have over her. The self doubts that had been colliding in her brain before had vanished. It was though everything else in the world had fallen away, leaving only her and Danny.

"So what were you really doing outside of Clayton?" Danny questioned gaining what little toughness he possessed around her.

"I really don't know," she returned honestly, "I just started driving and I ended up here."

"You were crying when I came up to the car," he said believing now that she wasn't some part of Malcolm's bigger plot against him. "You want to talk?" as the words rolled off his tongue Danny did a double take in the car's rearview mirror to be sure it was he who really said them.

The softness of his voice had Michelle wanting to tell him everything, "I was just thinking about my mom. She died a few years ago. I miss her. Sometimes I wish that things in my life were different. I keep thinking that if she were still here they would be. I guess I was just asking for some divine intervention," Michelle laughed at the thought.

"I get that," Danny offered, "My mom technically isn't dead but she's been dead to me for a long time now. I wonder too what my life would have been like if my dad were still around. At least I hoped they would be. I don't know which is worse."

"How so?" Michelle was a bit confused.

"Well," he paused weighing if he should stop before he even started, "My mom could have made things better if she really wanted to but she's so lost in her own reality that I am left swinging in the wind."

"I'm sorry Danny." Michelle felt and instant rush of empathy for him. What he was saying was so true. Her mother had she been alive today would have moved heaven and earth to make things right for her daughter. She couldn't fathom what it must have felt like for him to know that somewhere locked inside of the woman you called mother was the only person who could help you yet they chose to stay a prisoner in their own realm. "I am sorry Danny," she said softly touching his hand which rested on the gear shift next to her leg.

"No big deal," the armor platting was securely fastened around Danny once again, "I know the hand I was dealt," for the first time Michelle heard a coldness to his voice. That coldness bought about an urge in Michelle to lean in and kiss him softly. To tell him that life sucked and she understood but she hung back. Both of their lives were far too complicated already she didn't know if either of them could handle anymore, but the thing that was drawing her to him kept pulling her closer.

"We're here," she announced.

"I better get inside and get to work," Danny said getting out of the car about as fast as he had gotten in, "Malcolm's probably wondering where I am."

"Catch you later?"

"Maybe," he offered. The harshness of his tone stunned her. Minutes ago she had felt they were forging a friendship and now she wasn't so sure. This encounter had left her utterly confused.

Danny kicked himself as he made his exit. The question of why he had pushed Michelle away like that ran circles in his head. He stole a backward glance at her. There was no mistaking the hurt she wore on her expression, yet he kept running, running was his specialty. The voice inside of him echoed how special he already knew she was. He had an overwhelming sense that she needed someone in her life as badly as he did as well. She needed a person to listen to her and he had trashed that in an instant. Yet he was scared. Scared to get too close, scared of his life spilling over into hers. His life with Thomas was very ugly and even though he didn't know her whole story yet he did know that she had ugliness of her own to deal with. So why add to it? The bottom line to the struggle waging inside his soul was he was falling hard and fast for Michelle Bauer and the thought of it terrified him.

Perplexed by Danny's abrupt change of mood, Michelle headed inside. She went directly to the files in the back room. She hoped that something in Danny's file would lend itself to her better understanding him. She began reading the more recent additions………..

Entry #3 - Danny arrived here at 1:00. He was stoned

and even though he refused to admit it I could tell he

had been crying. After long periods of strained silence

he told me that Thomas kicked him out the night before.

I asked him why. He was silent again finally saying

that they argued again about his mother and her

treatment. As much anger as he harbors for his mother

that's also how much love Danny still holds for the

woman. Thomas told him he didn't need his interference

in his wife's affairs and tried to take a swing at him. After

that Danny fell silent again. So I brought him to my place

for dinner. We both fell asleep and when I woke up he

was gone.

 

Entry #4 - I haven't heard from Danny in over three days.

I must admit that I am past worried about him. The other

night was the first time I have ever seen him break down

with regards to his mother. I want to believe it was a break

through for us but now I am not so sure. There is something

happening in his life right now, I just wish he would let me

in to help.

 

Entry #5 - The police found Danny for me. Their report said

that he'd been snorting cocaine. He had been beaten pretty

badly. I assumed that Thomas was responsible. Danny

wouldn't talk about it. I squared things away with the police

through Det. Johns, but Danny is skating on thin ice. He

spent the next few days at the center.

 

Entry #6 - Danny has retreated inside himself all over again.

Each time we make a few steps forward there are always a

dozen back. This is Danny's last shot to make this work for

him or I have no other choice but to turn him over to the juvenile

authorities.

 

That's where the entries ended. That was just about a week ago. Michelle couldn't help but be confused because what she just read and the guy she had just been talking to didn't mesh in the least bit. It was like there were two totally different people. There was no denying the Danny indeed had given her mixed signals moments ago but he didn't seem to be withdrawn in all actuality it was just the opposite.

Walking out of the back file room, Michelle caught sight of Danny heading into Malcolm's office. She was torn on whether to wait for him or leave. She had her own life to deal with and was unsure that she needed any further drama in her life right now. Michelle was unable to stop the disappointment that slowly seeped through her. Earlier on the way there she had felt the strongest connection to another person she had ever had before. She thought that they were good for one another, hell even had a few things in common. But now she was less then sure and that thought saddened her.

Michelle's feelings for Danny had been growing by leaps and bounds even if she had chosen to deny their happening.

Michelle looked down at her watch. It was nearing four o'clock in the afternoon. The realization that she had spent the entire day longing for two people she could never have, her mother and Danny. Again she was consumed by such sorrow. Before there was an opportunity to run into him again Michelle made a hasty exit from the center.

"Michelle, Hunter's been calling you all day long," Aunt Meta greeted her niece with a concerned look. "She said that you never met her at school today. Is something wrong?"

"No, why?"

"She had me worried about you. She sounded like something had happened to you."

"I'm fine," Michelle said fingering the scarf that strategically hid the bruises on her neck, "I must have forgotten to tell her I had to finish up some research for our paper."

"She sounded pretty concerned," Meta pressed sensing her niece was being less then truthful.

"You know Hunter. She's the queen of drama." With that remark Michelle remembered that auditions for 'WEST SIDE STORY' were this afternoon at five o'clock. "Oh my gosh," she said.

"What?" Meta questioned.

"I completely forgot about the play. If I hurry I maybe can still make it in time. Be back later," Michelle stated running out the door as fast as she had come in.

Michelle headed over to theater. Part of her was petrified at the mere thought of running into Parker but she stayed true to her resolve to reclaim her life. She'd be damned if Parker Simms was going to stop her from performing in this years play.

The room was dark and quiet. Brittany Packard and Josh Spears were on stage auditioning the required scene. Michelle took a seat closest to the door and waited her turn. She tried to spot Hunter in the darkened room but was having very little luck at the task. She sat quietly watching each performance.

Michelle was lost in thought when she finally heard her name being called. Instantly she was sick to her stomach when she saw Parker already on stage. Again the images of his hands at her throat came flooding back. Michelle had to will herself forward her legs felt like lead weights as she finally made her way on stage.

"Okay, we will be reading from Act 2 Scene 4. Parker you can start reading anytime," Miss James instructed.

Parker began rendering himself to the part of Tony. The sweet words of the play were nothing like the person speaking them. Michelle was barely able to speak her lines when it came time. She couldn't imagine playing this romantic scene with Parker. Her words were harsh and expressed hate rather then the love that Maria was to feel for Tony. They were desperate star crossed lovers, more like her and Danny not this monster in front of her.

"Miss James, could we start over please?" Michelle asked stopping in mid sentence.

"I suppose. Is there a problem Miss Bauer?"

"No not really. I just finally found my inspiration."

"Fine, start at the top again."

On this attempt Michelle imagined the boy standing before her was not Parker Simms but the incredibly handsome Danny Santos. They fit this story much better. Michelle found herself kissing Parker at the end of the scene the way she had longed to kiss Danny earlier in the day. It had been effortless. She was starring into those piercing black eyes that belonged only to Danny. Parker Simms was the furthest person from her mind.

Parker was taken aback by the intensity of their kiss. He was so glad that he had gotten to audition with Michelle. He thought for sure that she would have refused to step on the stage with him, yet she kissed him so passionately. He was certain that all was forgiven.

"Thank you both," Miss James said, "I will have the cast list posted once all of the auditions have concluded."

Michelle walked off the opposite side of the stage as Parker. No matter how it had looked up there she never the less wanted nothing to do with him. Yet Parker had other plans. He had seen that kiss as an open invitation. Quickly he raced up the isle to catch up with her.

"Hey," he said softly.

"What do you want?" she questioned long gone was the sweet innocent Maria she had played minutes earlier.

"Can we talk?"

"About?"

"Hey what gives?" It was hard to hide his confusion.

"What do you mean?" Michelle was annoyed by this whole conversation. On the stage she had made up her mind that it was time to talk, really talk to Danny and Parker was just getting in the way of her getting to CONNECTION VILLAGE.

"That kiss you gave me back there, and now you're acting all mad. What the hell is going on?"

"This isn't acting, Parker. Up there was acting," she retorted pointing to the stage they had just vacated.

"This makes no sense."

"Oh really?" she mocked.

"How could you have kissed me like that and have just been acting? We have history together. You can't expect me to think that it didn't mean anything."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but you got the wrong idea."

"Come on Michelle, you know that I love you. You mean everything to me." Parker's voice was soft and caring, but Michelle wasn't buying it this time. She wasn't about to be taken in. She needed to be free of him for good this time.

"Yeah, you love me all right," Michelle untied the scarf from her neck to reveal her bruises. "If this is what you do to people you love then I would hate to see what happens to those you don't," Michelle said with a dead pan face.

What he saw didn't phase Parker in the least. It was almost as though he expected to see them. It wasn't the first time that he had seen bruises. He watched his father keep his mother in line that way when he was much younger. Mrs. Simms had finally understood her place and his father no longer needed to handle things in that manner any longer. Parker knew that Michelle would come to know that also. He would do what it took to make her see her place and to keep her there. Far too many times already had Michelle's antics passed without any action on his part. It was time to let her know who was in charge.

"Yeah? So what do you want me to say?"

Michelle was stunned. She had actually expected Parker to apologize for what he had done to her. Yet there wasn't even so much as an explanation.

"How about I'm sorry?" she spat at him.

Before he was even able to respond Michelle pushed the heavy door open and walked out of the theater.

He resisted the urge to follow her. A new plan forming in his head. A better way to get her back and then teach he what it truly meant to be his lady. This would work out better, much better, he thought as he looked on at her retreating frame.

Michelle had locked herself away from the world for the next several days. Between the bruises she was unable to hide and the confusion that was bantering around in her head, Michelle's resolve to gain control of her life again posed but only another series of obstacles.

Meta watched and waited curiously. She resisted the urge to push at her niece. For several months now she observed how detached Michelle appeared to be from those around her.

She had done her best to fill Maureen's rather enormous shoes only imagining that she fell short more times then not. Just looking into Michelle's eyes Meta was certain that she needed her mother's touch at the moment and it broke her heart to know that was the one thing she wasn't able to give Michelle.

The thoughts of Danny Santos clouded Michelle's vision. She was unable to stop the anticipation she felt for what she so hoped to happen between the two of them. Each idea she held in her mind of him brought a smile to her face and a twinkle to her coffee colored eyes, yet the gladness that she let his image bring to her was over shadowed by the thought of her father.

Ed Bauer would hit the roof if he had known the thoughts his daughter was currently entertaining. His ideal mate for her came tied to the package deal of Simms Manufacturing. He and Parker's father had been college buddies and now arm and arm as business partners. Both men assumed that the union of their children would cement their families further.

Michelle sat staring at her reflection in the vanity mirror. The bruises on her neck had begun to fade but the memory they carried was forever hers. How could she explain it all to her father? What would be the right words to use to make him understand what a monster lurked just below the surface in Parker Simms?

How easy would it have been for her right now to again lock the gates to her heart, shutting down any and all emotions the had the potential to force her world to spin out of control, yet in all the sense that that thought made she couldn't do it. The persistent thumping of her renewed heart wouldn't let her turn back now.

Michelle pulled on her favorite pair of Levis and sweatshirt. She needed desperately to clear the cobwebs from her mind, not to mention get to work on her Psychology paper. It was due in less then a week and she hadn't even begun to put anything substantial down on paper. She threw her notes in her backpack and headed for parts unknown.

"See you later," she said to Meta reaching for the knob of the side door.

"Where are you off to?" she countered hoping that Michelle was on her way to school. Meta knew all too well that her nephew would be on the warpath if he ever were to find out that his straight A student of a daughter had taken to skipping school.

"To work on my Psych paper." That had been Michelle's response to most questions asked as of late.

Meta eyed her quizzically, "Okay," she said wondering just exactly what this project had to do with Michelle's mood, "See you later then."

"Bye."

How or why she had ended up again at the park baffled Michelle. It was like a force outside of herself guided the direction her car had taken. She sat down at the picnic table and looked towards the direction of the lake. She half expected to see Danny coming towards her as he had done previously, but it didn't happen. It was mid afternoon and the only people occupying the park were a few old men feeding the pigeons.

She pulled out her notes and outline spreading them on the table before her. Her eyes scanned the words on the pages. Most everything that she had written there were tied to Danny Santos in one way or another. The task of concentrating on anything other then him was somewhat fruitless. Each time she looked at the pages of notes, the picture of his face flashed before her eyes.

Michelle scolded herself for losing her nerve days ago. After her run in with Parker at the auditions she had every intention on speaking with Danny. But somewhere between the theater and CONNECTION VILLAGE her conviction settled into doubt. She was fearful of looking foolish; fearful of opening herself up to a person she knew very little about. And what she did know about Danny should have sent her running for the hills. However the nagging voice coming from the center of her heart wouldn't give up the space it had claimed in her head. It quietly replayed all the gentleness that Danny had showed her. It spoke her mother's words of looking past the surface to reveal the trueness below.

It was the last encounter she had had with Danny that had let the confusion reign supreme. The coldness that ebbed into his voice and actions had her wondering if she could have read his signals all wrong.

Michelle closed the notebook in front of her. There was no use in trying to work. She wouldn't ever get passed her current road block without facing Danny. If her true intention was to take back control of her life, that meant all aspects of it so she gathered up her belongings and set out to talk to Danny.

"Hi Stacey."

"Hi Michelle."

"Hey I am going in the back if anyone needs me. By the way have you seen Danny today?" she asked hoping not to sound too anxious.

"No," Stacey hesitated not wanting to let on that Danny hadn't been there in days.

"When he gets here could you let him know that I am looking for him?"

"Sure."

Stacey watched Michelle walk away from her. She was certain that there was something between Michelle and Danny. She just couldn't put her finger on it and you hoped beyond all hope that the trouble Malcolm was having with Danny again wasn't due in some part to what did or didn't happen between them.

All Michelle's attempt at writing a rough draft for her paper brought forth was a page full of the name Danny Santos. She looked at the paper and felt like she was in the fifth grade all over again when she had had a crush on Ronnie Larson.

"Michelle," Stacey's voice startled her, "Malcolm said come join the session."

"Sure, be there in a minute." She quickly gathered her things to join the others.

Michelle took the open seat next to Beth. She took notice of how much better she appear to be at this session then the last one Michelle had attended. As a matter of fact so did Michelle. Even with the unresolved issues she had with Danny, she felt as though the inner strength she had lost months again was slowly making its return.

It was great to see how well Beth was handling what had happened to her. There was no doubt in Michelle's mind that was due in large part to Malcolm Farrell. He did wonderful work at the center. In many ways he mirrored the image she had of her mother. Michelle felt a kinship with him she hadn't felt in a long time.

"Who'd like to start?" Liza asked.

Beth raised her hand. "All right Beth, go ahead," Malcolm smiled.

"Well I first want to say thank you to you all. Especially you Malcolm. I really needed you guys the other day. I want you all to know that I am finished this time, no more drugs. And I know now that I have to get away from my father," she sighed. Malcolm knew how tough this was for her, "I love him. He's still my daddy but I can't let him keep on hurting me. I just want you all to know I am thankful for this place."

"WONDERFUL," Liza said.

Michelle gave a sideways glance to Beth and smiled. Her words of truth speaking volumes to Michelle. She too was very thankful for the center and the people she found there.

"Who would like to go next?" Liza asked.

Jared raised his hand and the session went on, but Michelle couldn't keep her thoughts focused on what was taking place around her. She continually searched the sea of faces for Danny. She wondered where the hell he was. She knew from what she read that he was required to attend the group sessions along with the ones with Malcolm privately. If the last entries in his file were any indication he hadn't been doing that. The words juvenile authorities loomed large in Michelle's head. She stared hard at the doorway to the room as if by doing that she could somehow will Danny to walk through it. She felt tears spring to her eyes when she saw a shadow appear, but her heart fell the minute she realized it was only Stacey.

"Michelle," Stacey bent down beside her, "I think you better come with me."

"Excuse me," Liza barked not liking the disruption Stacey was creating, "What's going on?"

"Nothing," Stacey lied, "There's a phone call for Michelle. I'm sorry to disturb everyone."

"You should have explained and taken a message. You know better then this," Liza's anger was fueled by the fact that this interruption had something to do with Michelle Bauer. She completely disagreed with Malcolm's decision to let her volunteer. She didn't care who her mother was. Liza's gut told her they were opening themselves up to a world of trouble.

"Sorry, but it sounded rather urgent." Liza could only roll her eyes.

Michelle hesitated knowing that she was making an enemy of Liza Brooks. "Go ahead, it's okay, just join us when you are finished," Malcolm said shooting a warning look in the direction of his assistant.

"What's going on?" Michelle asked when they finally reached the hallway, "First you say I need to come with you and now you say I have a phone call? I don't get it."

"I had to come up with some excuse to get you out of there. Especially after Liza started nosing around."

"Huh?"

"Danny's in the back room."

"I know I said I wanted to talk to him when he got here, but hell I didn't mean you had to get me immediately," Michelle was rather confused.

"Michelle, listen to me. He's not doing too well," The tone of Stacey's voice told Michelle all she needed to know, "He asked to talk to you."

"Why me?" she countered suddenly panicked.

"Hey I don't what's going on with the two of you, but it looks like he had the shit beat out of him. He wanted you so I got you."

"I better go get Malcolm," Michelle said turning away.

Stacey reached for her arm, "He doesn't want Malcolm. He just wants you. Come on."

Michelle looked back towards the room that held Malcolm. She was torn yet she followed Stacey without further discussion.

"Are you ready for this?" Stacey questioned upon reaching the door, "You look like you just saw a ghost."

"Yeah….yeah I'm fine," she answered turning the doorknob. Her original intention was to talk to Danny but this wasn't exactly the scene she had had in mind. There was no hiding she was petrified. Michelle wasn't a counselor number one and secondly she knew in her heart she was far too close to Danny to be objective.

She should have turned around and went to get Malcolm but her feet had taken root. Danny had asked for her. That concept rendered her motionless knowing that this was her one and only shot and if she betrayed the trust he had placed in her she would possibly destroy whatever might have been.

"Good luck," Stacey tried to sound reassuring.

"Thanks. I think I am going to need it."