...Quotes Index
Conan O'Brien: You look very pervy tonight, Max.
Max Weinberg: Well, that's me.
Conan O'Brien: You don't wanna say "that's me, officer."
Conan O'Brien: Move on, Conan, move on.
Conan O'Brien: And I'm not gay! Well, a little bit.
Conan O'Brien: And I look into the audience and realise they're all 8 year old boys. Max wanted it that way.
Conan O'Brien: I should be clothed at all times.
Conan O'Brien: We got the latest on the presidental election. I know that's why you tuned in. Or you couldn't sleep. And all the other channels were blocked.
Conan O'Brien: I didn't say it. Trump did. He gets all the blame. And I remain poor.
Conan O'Brien: [spins around] It's like college all over again.
Johnny Knoxville: Lightning stuck the plane.
Conan O'Brien: God himself tried to bring you down.
Johnny Knoxville: Yeah, he hates me.
Conan O'Brien: Well I'm putting my college education to work by hopping around like a maniac.
Conan O'Brien: Older women come up to me and say 'my son loves you.' I say 'oh, that's nice, how old is he?' 'He's seven!' They love it when I dance around like a chimpanzee.
Elisha Cuthbert: [about porn] You kinda get numb to it, don't you?
Conan O'Brien: No.
Conan O'Brien: I don't look at my body and go 'hey hey hey!' Well, nobody does.