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ANGEL: What?
XANDER: You were checking out my neck. I saw that.
ANGEL: No, I wasn't.
XANDER: Just keep your distance, pal.
ANGEL: I wasn't looking at your neck.
XANDER: I told you to eat before we left.
SPIKE: Wow. It's a big rock. Can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big. - "BECOMING" PART 1
XANDER: Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with deadboy on this one.
ANGEL: Could you not call me that?
OLAF: Come back, tiny man! You are small and toy like!
DRACULA: [to Xander] You are strange and off putting. Go now. - "BUFFY VS. DRACULA"
SPIKE: Oh, listen to Mary Poppins. He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that nancy boy accent. You English men are always so... bloody hell. Sodding, blimey, shaggin, knickers, bollocks. Oh, God, I'm English.
GILES: Welcome to the nancy-tribe. - "TABULA RASA"
WILLOW: I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h?
GILES: Willow, I think we're a little to old to be spelling things out.
XANDER: A bika? What's a bika?
WILLOW: You just don't like him 'cause of that time he beat you up everyday for five years.
XANDER: Yeah. I'm irrational that way.
HARMONY: Is Antonio Banderas a vampire?
SPIKE: No.
HARMONY: Can I make him a vampire?
SPIKE: No. Actually, yes. Go on. Do Mel and the kids too.
XANDER: To read makes our speaking English good.
WILLOW: Oh, right. Me and Oz play Mistress of Pain every night. Please.
XANDER: Did any one else just go to a scary visual place? - "DOPPELGANGLAND"
BUFFY: Oh, look at my poor neck... all bare and tender and exposed. All that blood just pumping away.
GILES: Oh, please.
SPIKE: Giles! Make her stop!
GILES: If those two don't kill each other, I might lend a hand. - "SOMETHING BLUE"
SPIKE: What's this? Sitting around watching the telly while there's evil still afoot? It's not very industrious of you. I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass! What, can't go without your Buffy, is that it? Let's find her! She is the chosen one, after all. Vampires! Grrr! Nasty! Let's annihilate them, for justice and for ... the safety of puppies ... and Christmas, right? Let's fight that evil! Let's kill something! Oh come on! - "DOOMED"
GILES: I need you to take Spike for a few of days.
XANDER: What?
SPIKE: What?
ANYA: What?
SPIKE: I'm not staying with him.
GILES: I have a friend who's coming to town, and I'd like us to be alone.
ANYA: Oh, you mean an orgasm friend?
GILES: Yes, that's exactly the most appalling thing you could have said.
SPIKE: I'm not having these two shag while I'm tied to a chair three feet away.
XANDER: That's not exactly one of my fantasies, either. - "HUSH"
SPIKE: We're out of Wheat-a-Bix.
GILES: We're out of Wheat-a-Bix because you ate them all. Again.
SPIKE: Get some more.
GILES: I thought vampires were supposed to eat blood.
SPIKE: Yeah, well sometimes I like to crumble up the Wheat-a-Bix in the blood. Gives it a little texture.
GILES: Since the picture you just painted means that I will never touch food of any kind again, you'll just have to pick it up yourself.
SPIKE: Sissy. - "HUSH"
BUFFY: Like, say, immortality?
ANGEL: Yeah. I'm dying to get rid of that.
BUFFY: Funny.
ANGEL: I'm a funny guy. - "EARSHOT"
XANDER: All right, where is he? Where's the creep who turned me into a spider eating man bitch?
BUFFY: He's gone.
XANDER: Dammit. You know what? I'm sick of this crap. I'm sick of always being the guy who eats insects and gets the funny syphillis! As of this moment, it's over. I'm finished being everyone's butt monkey!
BUFFY: Check. No more butt monkey. - "BUFFY VS. DRACULA"
XANDER: I still don't know why we had to come here to look up information on a killer snot monster.
GILES: Because it's a killer snot monster from outer space... I did not just say that.
SPIKE: She doesn't know?
JOYCE: Know what?
BUFFY: That I'm... in a band... with Spike here.
SPIKE: Yeah, she plays ... the triangle.
BUFFY: Drums.
SPIKE: She's hell on the old skins, you know.
JOYCE: And what do you do?
SPIKE: Well... I sing. - "BECOMING" PART 2 NEXT PAGE