Funny Stuff

Random Funny Stuff

Label Instructions : Only in America

Label Instructions*
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

·        On a Sears Hair Dryer: Do not use while sleeping.

·        On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The Shoplifter Special?)

·        On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (And that would be how?)

·        On some Swanson frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But, it's "just" a suggestion.)

·        On Tesco's Tiramisu Dessert (printed on bottom) "Do not turn upside down." (Oh now you tell me!)

·        On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (I would never have guessed)

·        On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldnt this save more time?)

·        On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: Do not drive a car or operate heavy machinery after taking this medication. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

·        On Nytol Sleep Aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness. (And Im taking this because?)

·        On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to what?)

·        On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now Im curious what would the other use be?)

·        On Sunsbury's Peanuts: Warning: May contain nuts (Talk about a news flash!)

·        On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts. (Step 3: Maybe fly Delta)

·        On a child's superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (Damn and I spent so much money)

·        On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals. (Was there alot of this happening in sweden?)

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Only In America*

1. Only in America, you can get a pizza to your house faster than an ambulance

2. Only in America, there are handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America, drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. 

4. Only in America, people order Double Cheeseburgers, Large Fries, and a DIET coke.

5. Only in America, banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America, people leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. 

7. Only in America, people use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America, you can buy Hotdogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight. 

9. Only in America,  we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in Latin means "many" and "tics" means "bloodsucking creatures"

10. Only in America, you will find drive-through ATM Machines with Braille Lettering. (The lettering system blind people use)

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Label Instructions : Only in America : Top

*These taken from the Dragonball Vortex