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What Men & Women say
and what they really mean (fwd)
Date: Tue, 26 Oct 1999 10:45:19 +0800 (PHT) Subject: What Men & Women say and what they really mean (fwd) What Men & Women say and what they really mean PART I ====== The Man's Guide to what the Woman really means You want = You want We need = I want It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later. We need to talk = I need to complain Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to. I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron! You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about? I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I'm on my period. Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I'm Embarassed This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper... I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white. Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive. How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV. Am I a little fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful. You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me. Yes = No No = No Maybe = No I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry. Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it. Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep. I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important. All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books,and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook? Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.] PART II ====== The Woman's Guide to What the Man is Really Saying. "I'm hungry." = I'm hungry. "I'm sleepy." = I'm sleepy. "I'm tired." = I'm tired. "Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you. "Can I take you out to dinner?" = Same as Above "Can I call you sometime?" = Same as Above "Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage! "You look tense, let me give you a massage." = I want to feel your bare skin "What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this. "What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now? "I love you, too." = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now! "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = I liked it better before. "Yes, I like the way you cut your hair." = $50 and it doesn't look that much different! "Let's talk." = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then we can get down to business "Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys. (while shopping) "I like that one better." = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
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