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Little Johnny I
Date: Wed, 17 Nov 1999 10:42:47 +0800 (PHT) Subject: [masci95] [Fwd: Little Johnny ] Maths ----- Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetics. 'Why?'; asks the father. 'The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3?' I said '6"; 'But that's right!'; 'Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?"; 'What's the fucking difference?'; 'That's exactly what I said.'; ******************************************************************* * Artwork The teacher, brought a Venus statue in class and asks 'What do you like best about it?'; 'The artwork,'; says Robert. 'Very good. And you, Peter?'; 'Tits!'; 'Peter, get out! And you, Johnny?'; 'I'm leaving, teacher, I'm leaving.'; ******************************************************************* * Jonny In Action Teacher: 'George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?'; Johnny : 'Because George still had the axe in his hand.'; ******************************************************************* * Teacher: 'Hello boys, Remember!!! Nothing is impossible.'; Johnny : 'Ok Sir, You please squeeze out all the toothpaste and put back it into the tube again.'; ******************************************************************* * Teacher: 'What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested to listen?'; Johnny : 'A Teacher.'; ******************************************************************* * Teacher: 'Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?'; Johnny : 'Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime.'; ******************************************************************* * Teacher: 'Who is the fastest human being in the world?'; Johnny: 'My mother... She can catch me doing anything.'; ******************************************************************* * Teacher's Name A new teacher while introducing herself to children said 'My name is Miss. Prussy and it is easy to remember. Just remember the word pussy in your rhyme and add 'r'; in between first two letters. Next day techer wanted to test whether children could remember her name or not. So she asked the whole class to tell her name a little louder. Silence prevailed for sometime as none of the children could remember her name. Then little Johnny remembered suddenly and shouted with excitement 'Crunt';. ******************************************************************* * It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in her grades. All the kids are restless because there is nothing to do for the rest of the day. The teacher says, 'Whoever is first to correctly answer the questions I ask can leave early today.'; Little Johnny says to himself, 'Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and can answer the question fast';. The teacher asked, 'Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?'; Before Johnny could open his mouth, Susie said, 'Abraham Lincoln';. The teacher said, 'That's right Susie. You can go';. Johnny was MAD. The teacher asked, 'Who said, 'I Have aDream'?'; Before Johnny could open his mouth, Mary said, 'Martin Luther King';. The teacher said, 'That's right Mary.You can go';. Johnny was even MADDER than before. Then the teacher asked, 'Who said 'Ask not,what your country can do for you'?'; Before Johnny could answer, Nancy said, 'JohnKennedy';. The teacher said, 'That's right Nancy. You can go';. Johnny was BOILING MAD. When the teacher turned her back, and Johnnysaid, 'I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut';. The teacher asked, 'WHO SAID THAT?'; Johnny said, 'BILL CLINTON, CAN I GO NOW?
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