Ben didn�t want to date me. No one did. My life sucks. I have been crushing on Ben for months. Every time I saw him at church, my heart fluttered. And every time I asked him out and he said no, I found myself talking to his brother. After Ben paid me no attention, I went out the doors of the church and ended up talking to Nathan. Nathan is sweet. He would always help me get over Ben for the current time.
Not long after I started talking to Nathan, did I find myself starting to like him. I had then decided to stop going after Ben. Nathan had started to control my mind. I didn�t know what to do. I didn�t want to become pushy with him. So we just talked and were friends.
Nathan and I became great friends. Everyday after church ended, I would watch him for a little while and then go outside and we would walk around chatting. One night, however, something seems to happen.
It was a Wednesday and church had just ended. Instead of waiting awhile, I just walked outside. But this night, Nathan seemed to be waiting for me. I walked out the door and turned to go towards his truck to wait for him. But as son as I passed the small portion of the church, I was grabbed and pulled into the darkness. When I regained my balance, I looked up to see Nathan.
�Nathan, what�s up?� I question, not knowing what is up with him. He just looks at me. �Come on, let�s walk to your car. That�s where I told Hillary I�d be.� I grab his arm for a second and we walked towards his truck. About halfway there, he wraps my hand inside his. �Nathan, is something wrong?�
�Everything is great. Why do you ask?� Nathan then drops my hand.
�Just because you grabbed me earlier and now you were holding my hand. Should I know something?� I ask. I start to worry and get scared.
�I�m sorry that I grabbed you. It�s just that I didn�t want to miss you. In fact, I kind of want to tell you something. But first I need to know how you feel about Ben.� Nathan explains, leading me to the back of his truck to sit.
�Nathan, I thought you knew how I feel about Ben. I used to like him, but that is over. I think I like someone else now.�
�Well, in that case, I think I�m going to head home,� Nathan says, standing up.
�Nathan, you don�t understand,� I say. I get up off the back of his truck and grab his arm.
�I understand perfectly. You used to like my brother and now you like another guy. Now if you�ll excuse me, I would like to go home,� he says as I swing him around to face me.
�Nathan, will you please listen to me? Give me to minutes to explain, please. Then you are free to go, if you chose,� I say. He nods, telling me to go ahead. I start, �You knew about me liking Ben. You probably also know that he never gave me the time of day. Well, everyday, when he turned me down, I started hanging out with this guy. Well, at that point there was nothing but friendship between us, at least not on my part. After hanging out for a few weeks, this guy became like my best friend. This guy, I think, I have started falling in love with. But I didn�t do anything about it for fear of getting turned down, again. So, Nathan, do you know who the guy in the explanation is? Do you know who it is that I think I have fallen in love with?� I explain, hoping he understands.
�You think you are in love with me?� Nathan asks. I nod sheepishly. �That�s great. Only because I fell for you a few years past and have never forgotten you. I love you, Sierra. I have for years. I want us to be together for life.� Nathan kisses me.
�So, are we official?� I ask.
2
�I�d say you are. A whole group of people just saw you kiss,� Ben says. Nathan and I blush. �What happened to you liking me, anyways? Hillary has been chasing me around for weeks trying to get me to go out with you. I didn�t like you, so you went after my older brother? What is with you?� Ben walks away.
�What are you doing? You should be kissing Ben, not Nathan!� Hillary exclaims. In the distance, you can hear Nathan calling after Ben, �Benjamin Mark Fletcher get over here!� I pull my arm away and walk towards Hillary�s aunt�s car.
�Hillary, I got turned down for the last time by Ben. Why is Ben acting like this? He doesn�t even like me. I just don�t get it. I swear, I�m through with guys!� I exclaim. I turn around to face Hillary and find Ben standing there.
�What? My brother won�t have you? Are you going after our other brother next? And how do you know I don�t like you?� Ben questions.
�What do you mean? You�ve only turned me down six million times. I�d think that would mean you didn�t like me. Unless now that I could have been taken, you decide to go after me.�
Ben looks stunned at the accusation. �I�ve always liked you. Have you ever heard of the term �playing hard to get�? And if you would have stuck around after church for two seconds, you would have known that I planned to ask you out today. That�s why I was out here instead of in the gym. But instead, I find you out here throwing yourself at my brother,� Ben declares.
�For your information, little brother, I basically threw myself at Sierra. She came out of the church and I was waiting for her. I grabbed her as she rounded the corner. We were talking and then I kissed her. She didn�t� know that I was going to kiss her,� Nathan explains.
�Does that mean I am supposed to forgive her? She could have stopped you. And it doesn�t take a rocket scientist to figure out that she likes you. She�s only been hanging around you all the time,� Ben says.
�She only hangs around me all the time because you turn her down. So, in the end, you were pushing her right into my arms. You knew I liked her as well. And I knew that you liked her. She was/is in love with you. Has been for 3 - 4 years. But you kept turning her down so she turned to me,� Nathan explains.
3
�But what if I do want her?� Ben asks. He grabs me then and kisses me. I kiss him back, wrapping my arms around his neck and tipping my head slightly. Ben deepens the kiss slightly. He then ends the kiss and whispers in my ear, �I love you. Will you go out with me?�
I pull away and look from him to Nathan, and then to Hillary, and finally back to Ben. Not knowing what to do, I ask for a little time to think about what to do. They agree to give me until Sunday. That day, I was to give the boys an answer.
Immediately after Hillary dropped me at home, I go to my room and make lists:
Good
Ben
Liked for years
Easy to get along with
Nathan
Sweet and caring
Bad
Ben
Has turned me down
Nathan
Older than me
Things were looking good for Ben. But, like his one bad characteristic, he had turned me down numerous times. But, what if, as he said, he has been playing hard to get?
I call to my mom, �Mom, I�m going to bed. �Night.� I close my door and turn out the light and crawl into bed. I shred the list I had made and toss it to the floor. I roll over and go to sleep.