seeing the beauty in a car crash. what the hell made me look. look at what the damn glance took. it ripped my eyes fom my head. now you're the reason i wish i was dead. so i wouldn't have to see you ever again. as my visions of you start to end. as i haven't seen you in so long. look what appears when i wished yu to be gone. walking past mocking my ever beating heart. now my mind goes back to the very start. the day i looked in your direction. the day my eyes got your infection. my eyes glued to you from each day to now. how long is your cuse going to allow. and how long will this poison last. as my life is filled with nothing as all this time has passed. you made my insides melt and be allowed to be washed down the drain. when will you disappear when will you take away my pain. when will you allow me to start to live my life once more. i wished my life was like it was before. like the days that was before i ever looked into your eyes. the days when i gave a fuck the days when i tried. i wish i never saw you that day. i wish a blinding light took my vision away. leave me alone from this day and the days after this. look at my life look at what i missed. the day i first saw you i wish i was in a car wreck. i'll bet i would have never let you make my life turn out to be such a mess. i would have never met you in all my life. and maybe tonight i would have turned out alright. a sharp sense of life. my arm is your canvas, my blood is your ink. draw me a painting that will make me think. this knife is your brush, my love is your reason. give me a sign that i could believe in. cut me dep enough for a scar to be born. not enough to drain me dry but enough for a scab to form. give me a sense of feeling on this cold raining night. an ending to this dark tunnel so i can see the light. any excuse for this useless soul to move ahead. any reason for me to make me want to get out of this bed. i will be at the mercy of your angelic voice from now on. any indication of your lost faith of me and i will be gone. i'm left out in the cold for another night alone. through misery and despair without you tonight i will be unknown. going through life lifeless is a life that i can't live. so show me a sign of hope to this wasteless waiting for you to give. please just give me anything with a look of emotion. revive this dead heart of mine with a gesture of devotion. so cut me tonight and make me feel the pain of your hit. just enough for me to remember what the scar means everytime i feel it. so cut me clean with love and a little blood shed. because if it's to deep it will be way to hard to love you when i'm dead. sleeping in graveyards. the once crowded cloudy covered sky seems not so crowded anymore. the last of the falling rain is fading away as we speak. i'm drenched with rain after ten minutes of downpour. as i've yet to wipe the rains lasting presence off my face. as it feels more comforting now than ever. a cool wind blows in from the north as it sends a shiver up my already drenched spine. a'm laying on the wet grass as i look closer to the stars that are unveiling themselves to me. as i tattoo thoughts that no one else will ever hear onto these stars, i feel closer to the earth than i have ever been. i feel safe in the arms of the earth as i am telling the stars and sky how i really feel about my life. it seems like are the only one who will listen when no one else even has the time anymore. the stars have all the time i will ever need to let them know how i feel about everything. as my back is becoming more dirty from the wet grass and mud it seems worms are crawling on my hands. the same worms that feasted on the dead a short time ago is about to feast on me. ot becomes clearer to those worms that i am not one of the dead, at least not yet. as i tear them from my flesh and release them back to there homes to feast on the dead. as my eyes roll back into my head and my tiredness becomes slumber. i feel safe, i feel like nothing will hurt me here. nothing could ever harm me in a place that people fear to one day call home. |
| kids don't like to share #9 |
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