kdlts8-9

kids don't like to share #8

maybe, one day.
well it hasn't a month this time, only five days. i saw her today at the goldfinger concert. looking as beautiful as ever. but to my fucking surprise he walks in. right next her. i'm guessing her boyfriend. i'm hoping he's just a friend. but knowing my luck it is her boyfriend. is it wrong to wish someone will break up with another. am i wrong to think this way. i looked toward her. i looked the towards the ground. i yelled "fuck" in my head and drank my beer. though i think they are together. i still have this feeling for her and nothing can take that away. i waited too long as i only i can do. like every fucking thing in my life i lose out again. why do i even bother anymore. why am i so scared of everything. i had my chance and i threw it away. i hate myself for this. i searched for her the rest of the night, but i couldn't find her. maybe one day they will break up. maybe one day i wont be scared. maybe one day i will get my chance. maybe, one day.

inbetween the 3rd and 4th floor.
i've been going through old photographs from the past trying to remember the girl i once knew. years have gone by and i've been sitting and waiting. for i don't know how long, but it's been a while. because my clothes went out of style. even though i never followed any trend. i'm just trying to remember an old friend. somone i almost forgotten. while i've been rotting from the inside out. i forget how my life was like without you. how boring it was without you in my life. just awkward silence, like a fence surrounding th light with nothing but the darkness surrounding the far points of the light. followed by endless miles of unspoken conversation i could of had with you. now blood runs down my face with no escape or stopping in my immediate future. just another torture i will inflict on myself. no self wealth for my health as my head strikes the elevator wall. even though my head never feels the pain. every other second i stall for half of a second to again gain the same memory of you and me i had almost forgotten. and i don't mind because it's something to do th past the time. before the memory i have of you fades to black.

lost in confusion.
i've been waiting here by your side tonight. waiting for you to try. try something different in your life. by trying to make something work out in your life tonight. it's now past two and i don't know what to do. i've been waiting here for nine hours. and i'm getting sick of waiting. i'm tired of doing nothing and sitting around, waiting for something to be found. something worth changing your life for. i know you're waiting for something more, but i'm here waiting with you. i'm getting bored what should i do. to past the time i found in my mind. behind the boredom i have had staring right at me. that i couldn't see or believe how long it was waiting while i was waiting for you.

days into nights.
day turns into night. another day has passed me by. nothing on the horizon. endless miles of clouds and sky. water below, space above and me inbetween. flying through the sky on a 737. leaving my past, heading toward my future. not sure where i really want to go. someplace i know all to well or someplace new where i never been before.

too late.
it's too late tonight. to say what i want to say. it's too late any night. i'll never get the chance again. the words i wanted you to hear. will never fall upon your ears. your voice will never say the words that will save my life tonight. i never wanted this to end tonight. i only wanted to hear your words telling me everything will be alright. from the first word from your angelic voice to the last word i will hear forever. whatever the words will be, coming from and only you will be the only thing that can save me.

word's apart.
as you walk by, my heart stopped. silence was all that i wanted to hear. over the loud protesters circling the area. for ten minutes passed by with nothing but thirty feet and some concrete seperating us. as i slowly headed toward my van, there you were again. with your back toward me. fifteen feet apart felt like a world away. i became anxious. looking over my shoulder every two seconds to see if you were still there. and everytime i looked back there you were. after all that happened, i still think about you all the time. wondering and waiting for that day i can tell you how i feel about you. how much you mean the world to me. with the thought of you still in my mind only after ten minutes that passed by. i still feel weak inside. after my final turn to look over my shoulder i saw you walk away. looking and wondering maybe you saw me, maybe you didn't. but i saw you today. happy hell yes, but still alone. even though your fifteen feet away, you still feel like you're a lifetime away. hoping you could read this. hoping one day i can tell you everything i want you to hear. fifteen feet away looking in the other direction, i still feel like we are worlds away.