kdlts4

kids don't like to share #4

wasted time 2 (extended dance mix version).
alone with bordem on my mind, nothing to do here just wasting time. i waste away my dreams, i waste away my plans. nothing here is what it seems, because no one understands. i left myself out of my own life, i did this because i thought it was right. now i know it was wrong, because everything i had is now gone. i can't have a future because i don't have a past. i can't find any fucking reason to make this last. wasted everything that was mine. so i try to find what i left behind. i try to find what is on my mind. i try to find all my wasted time. for some strange reason i did not know what i had to do. for some strange reason i couldn't figure out what i already knew. i was drowning in my apathy. the first and last laugh was at me. the humor of the silence. talking behind my back was the violence. i wasted away from the self loathing change. an empty place in my heart made me feel ashamed. starting at the end it made me pretend, cause i know i will lose it again. staring at an empty wall, in time everyone will fall. why did my moment had to be now. weak in the gut, because i lost my will somehow. the competition in my life. i knew i had to be right. but since i couldn't find what it's all about. it was like the door being locked inside out. i couldn't be seen where i love to reside. overdosing in the guilt when i couldn't hide. a vacant wanting has been forgotten. my life i once had, had turned rotten. just like being lost in a crowded park. just like i was searching for the light switch in the dark. because i found my wasted time. it was behind my fucked up mind. behind my own boredom in front of my face. behind my own boredom is where i found my place.

distant.
the place where i am living you're nowhere around. i can't move to the place you're at. you are too far away. i'm too poor to move by your house. but someday, i'll be rolling in the big bucks and when that happens. i'll move right next to you.. but until then i'll see you in movies on television and in magazines. even on my wall or in my binder. so i'll wait until that day when i move into your neighborhood. i won't buy a house there. i'll most likely rent. i'm not that rich. we even go out. we will be friends first. we will be next door neighbors. we can go to the movies and to a resturant. not a fancy one. i'll take you to taco bell. we could get a number nine, a medium 7-up. then we can go to blockbuster and rent a movie and we could stay up all night together or we could do what you wanted or we could just stay home.

six year crush.
i don't know why, but from the first time i laid my eyes on you her. i've been crazy about her. she made me happy. she made me smile when i felt down. she was the first girl i ever liked. it started in summer school, around the third grade. the first time i saw her, my heart stopped. she made me feel something that i never felt before. all the time i saw her, it was another wonderful memory lodged in my mind. and that is another memory that will remain in my head until i die. even now it's still here. even though i got over her. from the third grade to the ninth grade. i was crazy about her. but she went to a different high school. so i never saw, so i got over her. but during that time of junior high she was in my homeroom. she was in some other classes. so i saw her everyday. we were even a married couple in a play. our teacher said we made a good couple. the play was in summer school. no one had any lines, it was narrated by the teacher. but that was the closest i will be come to marrying her. i dreamed about her every night. she was my first crush and she will always be special to me. even though i'm probably nothing to her. she was the world for me. and i can never forget that. she was my six year crush. even though i'm not in love with her now, she will always be special.

stanley park.
now i go for days without thinking about you. but every now and then i don't know what to do. thinking there is someone in the distance, but realizing there is no one there. so i go to the places where we used to go. sitting and wondering why i'm all alone. i know i've lost someone i cared for. i want you like i never did before. you're the only one who knew and believed. you're the only one who wanted me for me. remembering when we took those waks. down there at stanley park. now i walk down the same paths we walked before. now i know people love people more than before. they love them even more once the one they loved are gone. feeling retarded, feeling idiotic for all the stupid things i've done. when i see two people hand in hand watching boats go by. then i start to remember when we watched them go by. thats how i feel all the time since you're not around. it makes me happy when i look at a picture of you when i feel down. but i know all the things so little we could never depend. makes me hurt that i don't want to fall in love all over again. being with you knowing you were my girl. that feeling made me the happiest guy in the world. i hate the feeling, the feeling we could never stay. a flashing image of you gets distorted everyother day. it grows further apart, it rips open my heart. a comprhensive way to mend. so when i feel alone. i'll remember you all over again.