the potential in failure.
time slows down with every clock tick. the smile i once loved now makes me sick. my stomach hurts with every lost breath. the very sight of you is now causing my death. the happiness i once had is now covered in black. darkness swallows the life that i lack. with one more memory of you that disappears. as apathy has once again turned into my biggest fear. with every second i see you with him. it is knowing in my heart i am not going to win. as i give up today i know it's for the best. you not in my life is what i'll never forget. but by trying to make you out as another lost hope. it is giving you too much credit that i can't cope. i can't stand you not in my life today. but by killing you off of what gets in my way. it is more than likely better than killing myself from the inside out. because you are the one that are causing my doubts. you are the one that makes me forget to breathe. and you are the reason why i have to leave. by moving on with my life today. it gives me a reason to wake up for another day. i'll chalk this one up to life as i can only see you from afar. you'll be just another scar on my arm. by forgetting you today you'll be the reason why i wont die. by forgetting you today you'll be the reason why i am still alive.
confusion comes more often than heartache.
a year has almost passed by since i first saw you there. where has my courage gone. i can't seem to find it anywhere. i fail myself everytime i see you. i lose myself in my heart as it becomes harder for me to breathe after you're in my sight. my voice seemed to vanish when you're around. what is wrong with me. only once i've talked to you as it takes my whole heart to speak with you. you walk with him, but still smile and wave when he is not around. i still want you to be in my life someway, shape or form. if not your boyfriend, friends will do. if not your friend, knowing that i exist is fine by me. i am struggling everytime you both walk by. my heart sinks deep into my chest. holding my breath until you smile at me. then it starts all over again. |
