The Book of Thoth, Part Four

Once they were free of Nefrekeptah's fleet, Jacob left the helm and went back to check on Thoth and Daniel, rushing to them when he noticed Thoth lying beside Daniel. Aran soon joined him.

"His host is gone," Jacob said, after checking for a pulse.

"Then our journey has been for nothing," Aran said, as Jacob went to check on Daniel. As he felt for Daniel's pulse, he pulled back in shock.

"No," Selmak said, looking up. "Daniel still lives. And...I sense the symbiote within him."

"Thoth took Daniel as his host? Why would he do that? They may both die now," Aran said.

"I do not know why," Selmak said. "I can only guess that he did not want Daniel to die. I hope it was not in vain."

Daniel awoke, and pulled himself up into a sitting position. He noticed that Thoth was sitting nearby, regarding him thoughtfully.

Daniel, he said softly. You are aware again.

It would seem so, Daniel said. I see you're still here. What I am saying? Of course you're still here.

Yes, Thoth said quietly.

So we are joined, and....this is my mind?" Daniel said.

Daniel felt the anger swell up in him again. You betrayed my trust in you - how could you do this?

I made you to live, Thoth said.

No - you made yourself to live. Through me, through my mind, my body. I will never forgive you for doing this, Daniel said bitterly. Never.

Never is a long time, Daniel, Thoth said.

Daniel ignored him, intentionally turning his back. Thoth sighed, but did nothing. Several moments passed before he spoke again. I have been able to understand you more as I healed you, Daniel. The memories of your life have come to me.

You've been reading my mind, in other words, without my permission, Daniel said.

I understand now why you fought against being a host, he said. I did not realize before all that you had suffered at the hands of the Goa'uld.

Like it would have made a difference, Daniel replied.

My humanity is gone, Daniel said, turning to face him. You've taken it from me. I won't ever be Daniel Jackson again - just your host.

You don't understand, do you? Daniel said. Even if you "share" as you say, it's still not me. I won't be me any longer. Darkness crowded in around him, and he barely heard Thoth's next words to him.

Anise looked up as Jacob entered the room. "How are they doing?" he asked simply, taking a seat by the bed where Daniel lay.

"They are still unconscious. The wounds Daniel suffered were very serious," Anise said.

"They were fatal," Jacob said, looking at him.

"Yes," she agreed. "They should have been fatal, and still may be. Thoth has managed to heal much, however. I still hope that they will survive."

"That's all we can do - hope. I'll stay here for a while. You rest," Jacob said to her. She nodded, and left Jacob at the bedside.

"You better wake up soon, Daniel," Jacob said. "Don't make me go back to Jack O'Neill and tell him I let you die."

Daniel became aware of Thoth again with a start, and turned to him, comprehending what he was saying a moment later. I wish you wouldn't do that, Daniel said.

I am sorry, Thoth said. I should not have disturbed you. It was just...a revelation to me. I did not realize the Tok'ra could do this.

Yes. They did so with my brother-in-law, Skaara. It's dangerous, but it can be done, Daniel said.

And this is what you want? Thoth asked.

Yes, Daniel said without hesitation. It's what I want.

Thoth was silent for a few moments. Doing so at this time, when we are both so weak, would be foolish.

Then as soon as we are stronger, Daniel said. Just...know that it's what I want.

Do you find the idea of being my host so horrible? Thoth said. You and I have much in common.

It isn't exactly unpleasant to know that you can show me how to translate every ancient Earth language and hundreds of those in the known universe, Daniel conceded.

There is much more I could teach you, Thoth said. Much more we could share.

Daniel suddenly looked over at him in shock. My God - what was that? he asked.

Thoth frowned. I am sorry - I was shielding my mind, my memories from you. I did not mean for you to know that.

Who was she? Daniel asked. The vision he had seen, the woman from Thoth's memories - actually, it was more than just a vision. It was a paralyzing wave of emotions, images, feelings - so great they almost overwhelmed him.  It was as if the intensity of the passion he'd felt for Shar'e during their one year together had been multiplied a hundredfold.

Daniel swallowed hard. Tell me about her.

Thoth smiled at him. Daniel - I do not need to tell you, he said, allowing the memories to rush forth into Daniel's mind, an overwhelming onslaught that for an immeasurable time held Daniel in its grip.

When it was over, Daniel looked up at Thoth, not having to ask how he felt, what Ma'at had meant to him. He had experienced it, had felt the love they shared together, the pain of losing her, the despair of years of searching - it intertwined with his own experiences with Shar'e until the two became almost as one in his mind.

I do know, he said. If only I'd been able to save Shar'e. I'd have given anything to do that.

Wouldn't another host be better? One trained for this kind of battle... Daniel started, but Thoth silenced him.

Daniel was silent. I don't know, I just - assumed you would want someone who could help you fight for her.

I want someone who can help me find her - not fight. This will not be accomplished by fighting, Thoth said.

Done, Thoth said, taking his hand. Daniel looked at it - at Thoth - questioningly. Will this always be how we perceive one another? Daniel said.

Sort of like an angel on my shoulder? Daniel asked.

I am glad you used the term 'angel'," Thoth replied, with a smile. Now, Daniel - it is time to open your eyes. We have worried everyone long enough.

Just like that? Daniel said. Just open my eyes and I'm out of this coma - it's that easy?

I never said it was going to be easy, Thoth said. Just that it was time.

Daniel opened his eyes, blinking as he tried to focus. Jacob leaned over him, motioning to Anise. "I think he's waking up," he said. "Daniel, can you hear me?"

Daniel nodded wearily, unable to speak. Anise brought some water and gently helped him to take a drink.

"It's good to see you awake, kid - we thought we'd lost you. Both of you," Jacob said.

"I thought so too, Jacob," he whispered, trying to look around him. "Where..."

"You're at a Tok'ra base. It took us a while, but we outran Nefrekeptah."

"How long?" Daniel asked.

"Way too long," Jacob replied. "Days. I'd say you two made history - neither of you should have survived what happened."

"May we speak to Thoth?" Anise said.

So now what? Daniel thought. Do I just...

It will get easier, Thoth said to him, before taking control.

"I am fine," Thoth said to Jacob and Anise. "Just weary, as is Daniel. I hope that I have not offended the Tok'ra High Council and Aran, he who was to be my host."

Jacob smiled. "I think we can make them understand." Then he sobered. "Actually, there's someone else that I'm wondering how to explain this to."

"Jack," Daniel said quietly, staring at the ceiling. 

"Sir, we have a transmission coming in from the Tok'ra," the technician said as he monitored the newly formed wormhole. "It's Jacob Carter, sir. He'd like to speak with you."

"Jacob - I hope you have some good news for us," General Hammond said.

"George - I need to come to Earth, and talk with you privately."

"Certainly, just tell us when..."

"Now," Jacob said. "And I'm bringing someone with me, George. Someone I think that you'll be very happy to see."

"Open the iris, airman," General Hammond said, watching the gateroom expectantly. It was only a few moments before Jacob Carter stepped through, and with him, Daniel.

General Hammond felt almost overwhelmed with relief as the two of them walked down the ramp. Daniel looked up at him and gave him a small smile.

"Get the rest of SG-1 up to the briefing room right now," Hammond said. The technician picked up his jaw off the floor and complied.

Jack was already on his way to the control room when he heard the page for SG-1. He picked up his pace and walked into the gateroom, his gaze going first to Jacob. "Jacob - Sam's going to be glad to see..." he stopped dead as Daniel turned around.

"Hello, Jack," Daniel said simply.

Jack opened his mouth to speak, but it took two tries to force out the words. "Daniel?" he said, coming forward.

Daniel nodded, biting back the guilt that welled up in him. Jack - all of them - never thought they'd see me again. How many times am I going to do this to them? he thought.

Be glad that you have friends who care about you so much, Thoth said quietly to him. And stop feeling guilty - you were not holding yourself captive, Daniel.

Jack came to him and without another word, gave him a bearhug that threatened to crack his ribs. "You are not only hard to kill, you're impossible to kill, you know that?" he said to Daniel, a grin lighting up his face.

"Not really, Jack," Daniel said, a flash of pain crossing his face.

"The Tok'ra rescued me," Daniel said.

"And we're just now hearing about this?" Jack asked to Jacob.

"We came as soon as Daniel was able, Jack. If you'd like to join us in the briefing room, we'll tell you the whole story," he said.

"You'd better," Jack said.

Dr. Fraiser came into the gateroom and gave Daniel a quick hug. "It's good to see you back where you belong, Dr. Jackson."

"It's good to be back," he agreed.

"And I'd like to see you in the infirmary, please," Dr. Fraiser said.

"Uh, Janet, there's something you should know before you examine me," Daniel started.

"Yes, that you're in perfect health and you're needed right away in the briefing room," Jacob said, pulling him away.

"Yeah - that was it," Daniel said, leaving a confused Dr. Fraiser in his wake.

"Major Carter is on her way.  All right, Jacob," General Hammond said, as he sat down with Jack, Teal'c, Jacob and Daniel in the briefing room. "What is it that you could only tell to us?"

"It was a great risk to come back here, but we couldn't do this over a communication," he said. "When we rescued Daniel, we also rescued a Goa'uld, one who wanted to join the Tok'ra in their fight against the System Lords."

"Don't tell me," Jack said closing his eyes. "Thoth," he continued. "It was Thoth, wasn't it?"

"Good guess, Colonel. It was."

Jack looked over at Daniel. "I don't suppose he told you where his book is, did he?"

"Ah - no, Jack," Daniel said, looking down.

"Even though the Book of Thoth was not found, the author of it was," Jacob said.

Daniel gave Sam a smile as she entered the room. Before Jacob could say anything, she bent down and gave Daniel a quick hug, then pulled away in shock. Jacob gave her a slight shake of his head before continuing.

"Daniel was wounded during the escape from Nefrekeptah's ship, trying to protect Thoth from harm." Jack leaned forward as Jacob continued. "He was dying, Jack. There was nothing we could do to heal him."

"Well, since he's here now, there must have been something you could...." Jack stopped, his eyes narrowing.

Sam still had her eyes locked on Daniel, but didn't say anything.

"You allowed him to be taken as a host, Jacob?" Jack said. "The host of a Goa'uld who you hoped was on your side?"

"He saved his life, Jack," Jacob finished. 

"May I speak?" Thoth said, looking at Jack, who in spite of himself jumped when he heard his voice coming out of Daniel.

"Seems like you are," Jack shot back.

"Daniel did not become my host willingly," Thoth said.

"See - I knew it," Jack replied. "I want to speak to Daniel, you beady-eyed little...."

"But now that we are joined, he has agreed to remain so - for now," Thoth continued.

"And we're supposed to believe that?" Jack said.

"It's true, Jack - we could have transferred Thoth to another host by now. He's sufficiently strong to survive. Daniel refused," Jacob said.

"How would you know if Daniel refused?" Jack said.

"We know," Selmak said.

"It's true, Jack," Daniel finally spoke. "I don't like it any more than you do, but for now - it's best."

"Best for who?" Jack said, standing up and leaving. Daniel got up and with an apologetic look to the others, followed him.

"Jack, wait," Daniel said, following him into the corridor.

Jack turned. "If he's so willing to find himself another host, why don't you do it, Daniel?" Jack asked.

"He saved my life, Jack. I owe him something for that."

"Seems to me like he also saved his own life - doesn't that make you sort of even?"

"He didn't have to do what he did - the Tok'ra had brought him another host..."

"You don't owe him anything, Daniel." Jack leaned against the corridor wall, his back to Daniel. "And you haven't answered my question."

"I have to help him. And, I believe in what he's doing."

"If there's someone else wanting to be his host and he can leave - why doesn't he?" Jack said.

In response, Thoth spoke. "There is a period of time when the host and the symbiote are adjusting to one another's presence - the blending. Before this is complete, both host and symbiote are vulnerable, and weakened. This is not the state I wish to be in for the mission ahead. And there is another reason for Daniel - the longer we stay blended, the more of my memories, my knowledge, he will retain, even after we are parted. This would be invaluable to his work here."

"What mission? What are the Tok'ra up to now?" Jack demanded. "Or can't you tell us?"

Daniel spoke again. "Thoth is seeking his wife, Ma'at. He's been searching for her for years. The Tok'ra know where she is, Jack. There's still a chance he can get back his wife - and I know how that feels." Daniel laid a hand on Jack's shoulder. "It's more than that, however. Something Thoth told me."

"Which is?" Jack replied.

"His wife is a queen - she could bring forth a new race of the Tok'ra. Finding her could turn the tide of this war."

"More Tok'ra?" Jack said. "This is a good thing?"

"Yes," Daniel replied. "They could increase their numbers and overthrow the Goa'uld."

"Daniel - I am talking to Daniel, right?"

"Yes, Jack, " Daniel said impatiently.

"I trust you - I don't, however, trust the Tok'ra and I sure as hell don't trust someone who's been hanging out with the Goa'uld for the past few thousand years. So be honest with me - when all this is over, and you find Ma'at and everyone's happy - are you and this Thoth going to part ways?"

"Yes," Daniel said. "We will."

"I believe I will miss him more than he will miss me," Thoth said a moment later. "But that is his wish, and as I did force him to be my host, I will abide by his wishes in this matter. But it is critical that we find Ma'at. Nefrekeptah knows who I am now, and he will no doubt inform the System Lords that I have defected to the Tok'ra.  Ma'at could be moved, and it would be years before she is found again, if ever."

"When do you leave?" Jack said.

"Tomorrow," Daniel replied. "I wanted to come back here first, to let you know I was okay."

"Before throwing yourself into another battle? One that it's very likely you won't return from?" Jack said bitterly.

"If I don't return," Daniel said, "At least you won't blame yourself for what happened back on Memphis." He paused. "I don't know if I could have lived with that," he said, before walking away.

"Neither do I," Jack mumbled as he watched Daniel leave.

Part Five

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