The Book of Thoth, Part Five

After a thorough examination by Dr. Fraiser, Daniel found himself walking back toward his office.  He walked in slowly, turning on the light and just standing for a moment at the doorway, looking it all over.  He noticed that no one had moved anything since he'd left for the last mission - except to turn off the coffee pot.  It was almost eerie, in a way.  Didn't anyone think I wasn't coming home this time?  Or was that the point - were they leaving it all this way because they thought I wouldn't be back?

Perhaps it was a comfort to them, Thoth said, interrupting his thoughts.  To leave your things this way.

Maybe, Daniel said to him, going to look at some of the artifacts strewn across his desk.  And now I'm leaving them again.

You feel an unreasonable amount of guilt over recent events, Thoth said.  They do not hold you responsible for what happened.

I hold myself responsible, Daniel said.  I was the one who wanted to find the Book of Thoth in the first place.  I practically bullied Jack into looking for Nefrekeptah's tomb.

A few minutes of silence passed before Thoth spoke again.  There is a strange bond between you and Jack O'Neill, he said.  One I do not understand.

I'm not so sure I understand it myself, Daniel replied.  Seeking a distraction, he went to the shelves lining the back of his office, looking among the objects there until he found a small vase, tiny lines of writing circling its perimeter.  He turned it over in his hands, looking at the writing.

Algormalian, Thoth told him.  It's a libation vase used in their temples.  I'm surprised they allowed you to take it.

We actually found it on another planet, in a room full of artifacts.  PX9-223.

The planet where you discovered the quantum mirror, Thoth said.  I remember the planet.  Plunderers.  They angered one too many of the Goa'uld and were destroyed.  Have you been able to read what is on the vase? he asked Daniel.

No - actually, I was hoping you might know, Daniel said.

He who dwells on the mountain of the Gods - look kindly upon me and my brethren.  We honor you in the house of your glory, Thoth read, as Daniel followed along.  The phonetic structure is actually very similar to...

Ancient Greek, Daniel finished, as he continued to read.  Hear our songs, hear our prayers, go with us always.  He continued to look at the writing.  This is amazing.  It's like the words are just popping into my head.

It is not hard for me to share my knowledge with you, Daniel.  Your inherent knowledge of languages makes it easy for you to understand.

Daniel went to his desk, pulling out a notebook and beginning to write.  As he worked, he turned on his computer, continuing to make notes as it booted up.  What is your hurry?  Thoth said, with a chuckle.  The vase will not disappear now that you have translated it.

I've just got to get this written down.  I mean - I've been working on this for as long as I can remember, and I just couldn't translate it.  Now that I can, I have to document this.

Why?  Thoth said.

You know why, Daniel said, a little impatiently.  This isn't going to last.  If this mission goes as planned, you and I will be separated, and I won't have access to your knowledge.  If it doesn't go as planned, well....

You are still so certain we must be parted?  Thoth asked, to Daniel's surprise.

You know that's what I want, Daniel said.  You're not going to refuse, now that...

Relax, Daniel.  I would certainly never refuse you if you wanted the separation.

I do want it, Daniel said.  I don't want to be a Tok'ra operative - my place is here at the SGC.  Your goals are not the same as mine.

My goals are to get my wife back and fight the Goa'uld - what were your goals when you joined the SGC?  Thoth asked.  When Daniel didn't reply, he continued.  As I said before - it is your decision to make.  Yours alone - and no one else's, he finished, as Jack walked into the room.

"Hey, Daniel," Jack said, taking a seat by his desk.

Daniel stared at him a moment before speaking.  "Jack - hi," he said, a little distractedly.  

Jack looked at him in concern.  "You okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine - I was just concentrating on this translation when you came in," he said, going back to his notes.

Jack knew that was a lie; Daniel had been sitting at his desk in total silence when he'd arrived, and hadn't even been looking at his notes.  And why the hell was he in here working on a translation anyway?  He let it pass as Daniel spoke again.

"So is the team still planning to go with us to Mirone?" Daniel said to Jack as he continued to write some notes.

"Yeah, we're going - you know, sounded like a good time," Jack said.  "Wow - four hundred and fifty-six emails," he said, looking over at Daniel's computer screen.

Daniel gave the screen a glance before looking back at him.  "You don't have to do that."  

"We know we don't have to, Daniel," Jack said, a little more sharply than he'd intended.

"Listen, Jack - I know you must be angry about what happened, back there on the planet..." Daniel started.

Jack interrupted him.  "Angry?" he asked, looking at Daniel like he was crazy.  "You think I'm angry?" he said loudly.

"This isn't angry?" Daniel replied.  "I just wanted to say - I'm sorry for everything I put you through - that I put everyone through."

Jack paused.  "Well, maybe angry is the right word.  I am angry - angry that all this happened to you, that you went through hell on that planet and we couldn't help you.  Angry that because of all that you're now host to a...."

"To a what?"  Thoth answered in a low, dangerous voice.

Jack paused before responding.  "Jacob's asked us to meet him in the briefing room, to go over the plans for the mission.  You coming?" he asked, standing.

"We will be there," Thoth said.  Daniel watched as Jack winced slightly at the term "we" before turning to leave.

I really should go talk to him... Daniel started, but Thoth's words stopped him.  Let him go, he urged.  He is not ready to accept this, and nothing you can say now will convince him otherwise.  And everything I might say would just convince him he is right.

Daniel sat back down, his thoughts in turmoil as he absently ran his hand over the small vase he'd started translating, and stared at the empty doorway.

"So what can we expect when we get to Mirone?" Jack asked, flipping through the scant documentation in the folder in front of him.  His uneasiness about the whole thing had led him to volunteer SG-1 to accompany Daniel and Jacob on the mission to recover Thoth's wife.  He'd done so without giving thought to how Teal'c and Sam might react, but to his relief, they both agreed with him.  His uneasy feeling just kept growing as he listened to the debriefing about the mission.

"Thoth will gain access to the stronghold, and convince his wife to accompany him back to the rendezvous point, where we will be waiting," Selmak said.

"Okay - so what's the plan?" Jack asked.

"That is the plan," Selmak replied.

"Excuse me?" Jack asked, looking over at Daniel quickly before turning his attention back to Jacob.

"Mirone is a strongly fortified city, capable of withstanding any attack we launch against it.  Thoth will have a better chance trying to gain entry on his own," Jacob said.

Jack looked around the table at his own team.  "Am I the only one who has a problem with this?  We're talking about Daniel, for God's sake," he finished.

Before anyone could speak, Daniel looked up at Jack, and he knew by the subtle change in his posture that the blue eyes staring into his own just became those of a stranger.  "No, Jack O'Neill," he heard Thoth say, "you are not just talking about Daniel - and I know what I am doing.  We will be able to gain access to Mirone."

"Getting in doesn't seem like so much of a problem as getting out," Jack countered.  "Does Daniel get a vote in this?"  

"We are in agreement," Thoth said, standing.  "If your team is willing to accompany us, they will be welcomed.  However, the mission will go as planned.  This briefing is finished.  We will leave in four hours."

He walked from the room, leaving Jack to seethe in anger a moment before pushing himself back from the table and walking out of the room as well.

I need to go back there and talk to him, Daniel said to Thoth.  He found he couldn't stop himself from walking away from the briefing room, and the lack of control frightened him.  Did you hear what I said?

I heard you, Thoth replied.  I just need a few moments away from Jack O'Neill, if you don't mind.

You're too much alike to get along with each other, Daniel noted.

Insults are not necessary, Daniel, Thoth said.

You're right, though - I think both of you need a few minutes to cool off, Daniel said.

"Daniel!" Jack's voice echoed down the hallway, causing him to turn.

Too late for that now,  Thoth said to Daniel.  He spun around, and Jack stalked up to him, obviously angry.  Daniel felt Thoth's own anger simmering just below the surface as well.

Please don't say anything I'll regret later, Daniel cautioned Thoth.

I think he has what you would call a 'thick skin', Thoth replied, to Daniel's frustration. 

"Jack O'Neill," Thoth said in a deceptively quiet tone.  He leaned up against the hallway wall, crossing his arms.  

"I want to speak to Daniel," Jack said.

"We both know that is not true - you want to speak to me.  More truthfully, you want to tell me just how you feel about this mission."  He held up his hands.  "I am unarmed.  You have nothing to fear," he said sarcastically.

"What gives you the right to put Daniel into danger this way?" Jack asked.  "He has a life here - a job, friends who care about him.  A purpose outside being your host," Jack finished.  "All of which could end if this mission goes bad.  You can move on to another host, but Daniel just has one shot at this, in case you forgot."

"Are you implying that I would not do everything in my power to keep Daniel safe?"  Thoth said.  "Is he safer under your command?"  

Jack paused before answering.  "As Daniel's commanding officer, I've always tried to keep him out of danger whenever possible."

Thoth raised an eyebrow.  "I do have access to Daniel's memories, Jack O'Neill."

"This is a dangerous job - we don't always know what we're going to find on our missions."

"In fact, Daniel has been killed more than once while under your command," Thoth continued.

"Yes," Jack bit out.

"You left him after he was mortally wounded on the deck of a ship you planned to destroy - left him to die alone, after he was injured protecting you and your team," Thoth said.

"That was the hardest decision I ever had to make," Jack said harshly.  "But we had to destroy those ships.  There were people back on Earth we had to protect - and Daniel knew that.  He knew we weren't planning on coming back.  It was a miracle that we all survived."

"A suicide mission - yet you allowed Daniel to go.  An academic - a scientist.  A man who has studied languages and lost civilizations, not the arts of war," Thoth said.

Jack ground his teeth a moment before speaking.  "This isn't about the past..."

"Isn't it, Jack?" Daniel said.  "Why are you so adamant that I can't handle this?  What do I have to do to prove to you that there are some things I can handle without SG-1 coming to my rescue?  Maybe I didn't manage to get Shar'e back alive - but I have a chance to help get Ma'at back and I have to try."

Jack stared back a moment into Daniel's eyes before answering.  "He's using you, Daniel - using your feelings for Shar'e to get you to go along with this plan.  Well, you have nothing to atone for - you did everything you could to save Shar'e.  Getting yourself killed on a fool's errand to find this Ma'at isn't necessary."

"I'll decide what's necessary," Daniel said.  "And just for the record, this is my decision as well, Jack," he said, walking away and leaving Jack standing alone in the hallway.