2:23pm - Well here I am, with somewhat bad news. I figure since I won't have internet access for the next 3 months, and after that, I'll be a working woman in training, I'm going to put an end to this journalizing. I may very well still 'journalize' highly noteworthy things in my life as they happen, and I know I have a couple people I can always e-mail that offline journalizing to if I feel it's something I need advice on, or just need to vent. So consider this my farewell... it's been fun. ;-)

11:47am - What goes up� must come down.

I came home around 10 this morning to go to Sam�s with Mrs. Lee and Liz� to get friggin reading glasses for my mother. Of course I got them out there (I told them let me know if they had to go, but since my mother was sending me, apparently I HAD 2 go. N E way, almost 2 hours later, I�m home� gonna go sort out my laundry and pack them where they need 2 be packed.

2:23pm - Yunno� what? Considering I didn�t close my eyes till after 5 this morning, and then had a disturbing 4 hours of sleep, I should be in bed right now; no matter how not nice it may feel in an empty crib and a naked bed.

3:44pm - Life's about balance.
There's that one little thing in my love life that I've always been not quite so sure about.
I've long since realised that I am the cat that taught this old dogg new (good) tricks, but all else considered, I've never LET myself be 100% convinced that this was gonna be IT. I Just heard those words that gave me all the confirmation I needed (and more than I ever expected) to let me know what I felt about our relationship was/ is true, but I can't be happy about it. Not that I'm NOT happy about it, but after shit that happened last night/ this morning, I've lost something I had.. something that was re-confirmed even as recently as yesterday before we left his parents' house... After his reaction, I should still be sure that nothing should change where we stand, but the fact still remains.. it happend; for the 1st time; not directly to me, but I was there: heard it; saw it; FELT it. I'm just still in shock, and with less than two days to get over it, the timing couldn't have been much worse. *shaking head*

I'm gonna go clean my tub again.
And no I will not explain what it is I'm talking about.

This may be the last anyone hears from me for a while. So if it is... call me on Saturday if you're in LA. If not... see yah when I see yah.

9:15pm - Uh oooo. How inconsidertae of me. I've been back in town since 4 this afternoon, and I didn't even think to update. Well I DID think to update, but we drove straight back to my place (after picking up a few more boxes from Nice, then we did one last blessing of my crib, and I've been packing ever since.

I will of course say that I am soo incredibly fortunate, and had an absolutely wonderful time, and saw sides of my niggah that I've not seen before, and I was lovin it all!!

I shall respond in the affirmative to Sizzla's wife's comment, and also point out that most of the activities took place in the sauna.. damn that shit was fun! Especially when we put bath bubbles in it.. lol. There was space enough in there for 3! It was surrounded by mirrors (mirrors on the ceiling above it as well), and we'd sit on the edge of it when having meals in the room. (Which wasn't that often, but G'damn I feel like I was out there for a year and a day).

N E hoot, 'Imma go back to the usual... packing. My baby is supposed 2 call to check up on my progress and come get me so I can do my laundry (for free) by him tonight. Tomorrow is Dinner at the Lee's, and I don't think I will be sleeping in this empty place for the next couple days, so you may or may not get more details from me if I feel like updating when I'm by the boy.

1:12am - I WAS sleeping. Then the boy called, then I was struggling to get BACK to with the mucky air in this place. (The thingie downtown said it was 91 degress today). I had the fan directly facing my bed (Which I never do... I hope I don't get sick) and I STILL felt uncomfortable. THEN big sis called and we were talking for almost half hour, so now; I�m not sleepy anymore. *Bowing head in shame*

So I'm not sleepy, it's too dyamn humid, and the hair touching the back of my neck is annoying the shit out of me! If I put it up, it feels like I can't have it loose enough for the back to not feel like they're pulling on my hairline, but then I have it loose, and any bit of it touching my neck just irritates me. *screwing up face and scratching my neck* But as dude said, I better rest well, cuz is me driving tomorrow in the morning.

1:37am - LIGHTBULB!! Did someone say pancakes? I think I'll go make some... maybe that will put me to sleep.

2:25am - Arightie. Going back to December, I've managed to reduce my banking discrepancy by $200. *oops* I 4got to transfer one transaction when I switched ledgers. Still off though, so I'm still gonna go in in the morning to zero it in.
And I should be in bed now right?

6pm - (I think)
Holy hell he went all out! The room suite has a hot tub in it, and as we got here, I took a trip down to get some ice to put my bottle of champaigne (which he got for me since Valentines Day) in, and came back to find he had discovered something else in the room... A SAUNA!!

There is absolutely no cell phone signal anywhere around here.. all the walking we done do. And I have 40 cents of the dollar I put in this thing left.. but I just had to come to say me reach safe and I AM safe, and the nigga luuuves me! WHOOIE!

O yeh, someone called and asked if she was speaking to Mrs. __ _ _ so of course I wasn't going to correct her and explain anything, so I just said yes, and she went on to explain an oppourtunity for us to earn a $75 voulcher just by visiting another property.


N E hoot.. off 2 pick up our food.

3:26pm - Life is good�
All the time
All the time�
Life is good.

So boo boo and I went for lunch this afternoon, then took a walk on campus to the creamery, sat and at ice cream (frozen yogurt for me), then took another scenic walk thru campus and downtown back to the vehicle.

Before we went to lunch, we stopped off at my place to get my ice-cream coupon. He agreed the place looked very empty now w/out furniture, but he also seemed worried that I have a lot to pack. It really is just my clothes and bathroom stuff, but he says he doesn�t think I can do it. So now I�ve been condemned to packing for the rest of the day.

O Rissi, remember is extensions I was talking bout putting in yunno. an dem small, so that was relatively not bad timing. Although she did think before we started that it'd take about 9 hours.
I have been told from a friend the last time I put braids in that I have whole tonna hair follicles on my head.. *ROCL* Hence the extremely thick hair I guess.

1pm � These braids will stay in my head for months! Not me going thru that kinda pain and discomfort on my ass for over 11 hours maaan. *shaking head and exhaling*

Don�t get me wrong, they look good, but; my ass! (LITERALLY!) Belly had spoken 2 her the day before to tell her how small (not small) I wanted them, and what colour and what not. We went with her when we got there to get the hair, and I had no further discussion about how I wanted them, so I didn�t know she was gonna end up doing them so small. On top ah dat, they are the natural length of the pack, cuz when she started and was asking how long I wanted it, K sat there and told her that (The full length) was perfect. lol That little boy has been trying 2 call the shots from marnin. *smiling* Of course by the time we were done at almost 1am, I was in o frame of mind to ask her to cut it likkle. O and might I mention (since somebody already pointed out that he gets more brownie points for this.. and I agree COMPLETELY). Homeboy's house is but 45 minutes away, so I thought he would've dropped me off, let me got a little comfortable, went home to sleep, and come back for me when I was done. *Shaking head slowly* Other than leaving to go get chicken to go with the lunch the girl cooked, (cuz she's a vegetarian) He was there the full 12 hours. *Proud and equally impressed & appreciative smile*

THEN came the drive back. The rain had eased up by the time we left here yesterday morning. And homeboy really did sleep from the minute he picked me up, till the road diverted from the route that we usually take to his house or NY�.. that would be almost a full 2 hours.
I�d spoken to Mrs. Lee last night and she was saying be careful coming back� Lord the rain was soo heavy U couldn�t see shit till lightning struck an lit up the place. Then in other places, there was the addition of fog. For whatever reason, he didn�t want 2 just go home for the night, so I was even trying 2 convince him to pull over and we could crash at a cheap hotel or something. (Make THAT our Orlando vacation.. lol) He drove back, but still, I was pretty damned nervous. But N E hoot, after a good while of scary driving, it cleared up, and we are back safely.

I smelt skunk for the first time this morning too!
It�s not what I thought it would smell like. Don�t ask why I�d think about what it WOULD smell like, but it�s just that it smelt more like something on a vehicle was burning or leaking and I asked what it was and K said skunk. It was more than one path along the way that we were smelling it too. Apparnently since it�s summer the little suckers just come out and let off round the place. I wouldn�t like to be out of the vehicle standing still in those areas ah tell u. *shaking head*

I know it was 5am after we'd gotten back and were ready for bed (after taking a shower, eating and all that), and Mrs. Lee called after 10 this morning. I knew she was going to at some point, but I wasn't ready 2 get outa bed, so I didn't answer. Then a little after noon, Belly called to talk to K. She'd gone HOME last night apparenlty, and his phone was on vibrate when she was tryina call him. So I got up then, called back Mrs. Lee, and left him in bed while I came home to wait for the Lee's to come for their plant and furniture.

I also have to go down to the nearest grocery store after they do come for the stuff cuz it's 'my turn' to cook dinner. For whatever reason, I didn't feel like stopping at WalMart when I left the boy's house, but I have to wait till my meat defrosts anyhoot, not to mention He's more interested in sleep than food right now, so I'm good.
*Thinking* It's been so long since I've cooked though.

2:11pm - Addition to the first story, and to answer Ziggy's question from last night... $100. Paid for in part by U know woh as well. *wink*

2:27pm - Dyam! *snapping fingers* I was over again by 53 minutes this month.

In other news, my apartment is REALLY Bare now w/out that plant, chairs and coffee table. They have to come back for the 2 wicker chairs, but boy am I looking bare now. (That's a good thing). O yeh, and Mrs. Lee is having a dinner party on Wednesday or Thursday before I leave. *Shaking head @ her*

3:32pm - *Grinning from ear to ear*
I know Rissi go say I crazy, but it just goes to show... he frustrates me one minute, and makes me want to melt the rest of the time.

First of all, I'm in the supermarket and decide to call 2 ask if he wants anything in particular for desert. He says he has cheesecake at his house so we don't need anything, but then he says bring either whip-cream or chocolate syrup. Now I don't see how either would compliment cheese-cake, so U know I was jus walking thru the supermarket after that laughing to myself (and outloud).

Now I Get home and he calls 2 say he booking something in the Poconos next week. He ask me when better, Tuesday to Thursday, or Monday to Wednesday. Assuming we do Thu - Thu as he 1st said he was going to, we gonna b out by Thursday afternoon anyhow, so if Mrs. Lee doing her ting Thursday night, we'll still be back in due time. N E hoot, so he asking me which one and I tell him it doesn't matter.. lol He almost started getting frustrated with me saying it doesn't matter ... lol. He has this thing about me never being able to answer a question straight. But the thing with me is that if it doesn't matter too much 2 me one way or another, I'm gonna turn it back on him to ask what suits HIM, but he HATES that.. lol Even if it means I say one thing would be better and it turns out that can't be the case... I need to learn to jus talk up and speak like i'm boss and what I say has to GO! *Firm nod, trying 2 convince myself* LOL

Lemme get back to mah cooking see. *smiling*

4:37pm - Dinner's been cooked; my apartment's been cleaned; time 2 'ole ah fresh an head back 2 my 2nd home.

12:06am - Half hour on the phone with Kaye.. I'm looking forward to going home and seeing and spending time with my fam.

6:28am � The thunderstorms have arrived.
Not cool. (for travel)

8:23am - *Frowning* I hate when we have major driving to do in bad weather. This thunderstorm is bad. It looks like a river in the street outside my window.

8:25am � Just great. They�ve been uprooted trees, downed power-lines and all kinda house damage due to the storm overnight. Ah friggin hurricane man!

9:08am � This boy love stress me yunno.
I call to wake him up, he say he soon come. An hour later he call back to ask if I ready (sounding like he still sleeping mind U). He said we were leaving at 8:30, and he told the girl we�d be there by 11� U know how I drop it; obviously I�m ready. Then he go ask me if I want to go now or wait till the rain stop. This rain ent stopping ANYTIME SOON! Might as well go now. But apparently it�s my choice cuz I�m driving since he needs to sleep cuz he didn�t last night. *rolling eyes*

1am � Is this the same person who just about 3 months ago was seriously thinking about trying 2 get into competition shape by the summer?
My body is seriously such a waste right now.

1:42am - As simple a thing as that was, taking all the pictures off the walls went a long way to making it look like I�m really packing up to ship out.

2:58am - Ok. I have some kinda virus that's preventing me from checking my mail. It's showed up 8 times for the morning (from midnight till now). Eudora is showing I have 6 new messages to download, but before any of them get there, it stops checking and alerts me of a virus message, but no new messages! *frustrated*

4:25am - Alllrightie. Perhaps I should go to bed now??

11:50am - When yuh big *Wink*

1:02pm � *Sigh* That vacation woulda been soo wonderful. *Very sad and disappointed*

1:24pm - Ok. Why is it, my bank statement says I have $710 in my checking account, but my ledger (which I do have everything accounted for) says $345, and further still, online says I have only $166??? *Confused to no end*

3pm - Dat ah duh time 4 real? See what happen when U wake up late?

*Singing along with Family Radio* We nuh wha no man stare inna we face... some gyal naaar gu down low...

Ey.. I'm finally getting good at this blasted nasal spray crap. Only one try and both pumps went straight up each nostril. LOL. Yup.. I'm a crackhead. Then again I have an excuse... it's the spray making me giddy again.

3:11pm - The boy is taking me to get my hur did tomorrow (yes U heard right... he initiated the call for me to get it braided - extensions). So I think I'm gonna go give it a good wash and hot oil treatment, rather than being a bum and just jumping back into bed.

6:30pm - Search pass yuh neck and straight pass yuh belley button.. what a sumten bouy, what a sumten.
AHHHHH!! *dancing my ass off* Whoooie.. Props to DJ Rissi. LOL

Ah tink I'mma go eat something and head over by the boy for the night. That way I can make sure his behind gets up early so we can head to Scranton. Not to mention the highway is closer to his place than mine, so it saves him the drive over here in the morning.

6:35pm - Ooo my mother!
Can't get off my ass bout this visa subben. Somebody always ah tell her sumting and she nar heed when me tell she for the TRILLIONTH time that I applied, it takes 60 days, ent nutten U can do to speed it up or have it sent home, trying will only make matters worse, and that I got all my info from a US attorney who's been dealing with this shit for years! Jeeez um man. *Chups* An even if e come b 4 the 60 days, my rass will be sitting here till mid July doing what? NOTHING!!!

*Sigh* Music , music... focus on the music..

7:12pm - Awwwwh. Des sent me the sweetest congratulatory card and a $25 Macy's gift card.

8:18pm - I have this awful pain in my left side that's just been getting worse.

9:44pm - ...Or not. (In relation to my 6:30 entry)

2pm - Early this morning; Flo left, I came, and from henceforth on, I'll just be chillin'. Gotta get a move on that packing thing though, cuz somebody's taking a long spoken of get-a-way vacation next week. *wink* We're going to Orlando baby!

My housing search is not coming along well. Looks like I'll end up doing the corporate housing. Cuz all the leases less than 7 months go for a nightly rate as well, and it ends up being MUCH more than what BB is offering.

7:40pm - He let me cook with him today. *smiling*

As for that smart ass webiste.. they send me an e-mail saying the rates quoted are no longer available. The lowest rate is $200 higher.. *Frowning* I whanna vacation.

2:30pm - What has today had to say?
Not much as usual. Got out of bed, or rather off the floor (I nearly got pushed off the bed twice last night.. was jus feeling extra cramped) after 10; Watched Bowfinger then we went to IP for lunch. Remember.. my famous Indian restaurant?

She was asking about Target (Cuz Mrs Lee brought it up some time ago, but she didn't want to inconvenience her daughthers to take her there if they didn't have to go). I of course was/ am not up to talking the bus to get all the way out there, so we came home. True say I messaged K and he called and asked if I ready for the truck. lol. So I guess he's jus gonna come and take us there.. hmmm... He lives just around the corner from there, so we could just drop HIM off and go back for him to bring us back on the way home... Sorry if I confused anybody, but is ok.. i'm just 'talking' out loud. *smile*

7pm - Spent a couple hours in Target, then Payless, Circuit City, and Best buy. Came home to drop off the loot, and then went down to Goodwill to drop off some stuff and she looked around.

Payless had some red-dot sale where any pair of shoes, you can get ANY number of red-dot items for half off. We talking leather shoes that were red dotted at $5, so she got a pair for $2.50. Not to mention we clean out the store with handbags. I had to ask her if she bout to open up shop. 4 pairs of shoes, 5 handbags and a necklace... less than 60 bucks total. And I got a camera as a grad present. I decided against the digital. And being the person that I am, isntead of getting a really small one, I got the cheapest one. Olympus 60.

Aite.. Flo failed to tell Mrs. Lee she changed her move out date to Tomorrow, so we're gonna stop by there in about an hour when the girls come home to tidy up, cuz I was planning on stopping by after the Goodwill stop, but of course she claim the house is in a state. *rolling eyes and laughing*

Muh hungry

O yeh, Rissi, the movie was some vampire thing.. well sort of. Some family get kill off by mutated people (which is the result of some vampire work) and the Van Helsen dude

10:40pm - As I thought.. the young man is not going to come get his belonging, so I will be taking Flo to the airport at 5 in the A M.
Good / bad news about that is that I get to go harass him while he sleeps afterwards. Then if I once again can't sleep (as long as he does) I'll be bored for the rest of the day.
Ah well. Better being bored there (with cable) rather than here!

12:32am - That would be Eddie Murphy in Holy Man.

So we went downtown, and she managed to put me in a sucky resentful mood the minute I stepped out the apartment building. I won�t go there, but in any event, it was decent enough walking around in the few stores downtown that were open at 4 in the afternoon. Stopped and picked up a couple DVD�s on the way home, and she asked about picking up Chinese. I wasn�t in the mood for Chinese again, but she said she wasn�t hungry right then, so I figured we�d get something later. She comes home and went for something hot to drink and bread, so now all of a sudden she doesn�t want food anymore. (I did have cooked food in the fridge, but I guess she�d already had that for lunch and didn�t want it again for dinner).
I was a bit frustrated and I was feelin� for something myself, so after watching the movie for a while and she was falling asleep, I ended up going with the boy to get food. She still insisted she didn�t want n e thing, so I hung out by him and Belly for a while. They decided they wanted 2 go see a movie, but at that time we�d just missed the 7:30 one, so we went to see Van Helsen (I think that's the name) at 10.

Yes I did call Flo and asked if she wanted 2 come but she said she didn�t, so the 3 of us went, and I was falling asleep, but now I�m home, I�m about to go watch the rest of Holy Man. So indeed I�m weird.

First summer session of classes start tomorrow. So old people are back and new people are in town. And people like Belly are still here and finally about to be able to say they doing something. Haha. Poor child has been so bored.

12:40pm - Dyam. I figure my mysterious FedEx Package would be delivered again today anytime after 11, so I wasn't online up till half hour ago when I decided to jus sign on quick to check my mail. U know as I sign off I see the truck driving off at the back of my building. Lo and behold they tried again. I don't know if it's that they don't realise there's a call button at the middle door. N E hoot, I guess I'll just try to go pick it up after 7 tonight.
Once again I won't get excited though, cuz me nuh able is from Mr. DJ once again.

4:34pm � J just called. Looks like I might be able to get my apartment Subletted after all!
*fingers crossed*

Flo and I went on campus again. Took her thru the HUB. Returned my old work shirt and name-tag (not like they were really expecting it from me seeing as I�m as done as it gets). Went to the lab to print a few things, then headed back up to my building to drop off cards for Harvey and Coren, and Dr. B was in, so we sat and chatted with him for a bit again. My mother just loves him. lol

We got into some convo about K, cuz Dr. B claims he�s only now hearing about any boyfriend deal. So he started with the 101 questions and was asking Flo what else he should be asking. She just laughed and told him to go ahead cuz he was doing a good job. So later on as we were walking downtown, I asked her what else SHE wanted to know about him, cuz she really never did ask or say anything about him since she�s met him. She said she didn�t have anything to ask buddy. But she brought up something about it being better to get married to someone from where you�re from so you have a similar background, similar culture and experiences and all that. Now he�s a man of the land in general, so there�s similarities there, but I can see where things can get much different in terms of how and where he grew up. (JA, NY AND PA) O well. Like I told her, me asking him to marry me was a joke, and as much as I we are planning on holding on as much as we can and hopefully being able to pick back up when I�m done training and he�s done school, I don�t have marriage on the brain right now, so as for where we stand, everything is criss an curry.

I spoke to him not too long ago as a matter of fact, and he was doing some food shopping to cook dinner for us tonight. Lets see how that goes, cuz he claim the fish still frozen. *and what�s so hard about de-frosting it?? lol*

8:30pm - The FedEx package was my pendant.

2:15pm - Hi. I'm light-headed. Don't feel too excited about life at the moment.

Them girls left sometime before 10 this morning. I walked down by Mitch to see her parents as they were loading up to ship out. Was there for a bit, came home and started doing a bit more packing and throwing out myself. Flo wants to (and I was thinking of it before) go downtown to walk bout and see what the little stores have. I just ate, and I need to take a nap before I do that, cuz all the moving around from the supposed packing ha me feelin crappy. :-(

3:05pm - I feelin' too 'someting' to sleep, so I really should do something 2 get my ass outa the house. But now Flo is fast asleep. I'm thinking I should wake her up N E way, cuz then later on when she wake up, there won't be shit to do!

10:25pm - So I�m done eh.

After only about 3hours sleep, my babe got up and was on the way to the breakfast reception even before I�d rolled out of bed. Everyone else was up and asking if I wasn�t going again, but once I did decide to get out of bed, I was ready before all ah dem. (�Cept �Tica). N E hoot, so K and his sis came here and followed us up to the hall for breakfast. I got �into it� once I had people so happy and proud and congratulating my mother on the wonderful job she�d done on such a wonderful me. The ceremony was a little less than an hour and a half, was nice, but then of course I lost the hype VERY quickly.

We managed to make it to Olive Garden before the first rush so we didn�t have to wait for a table. So the 6 of us had lunch, then Flo wanted to go to the mall AGAIN. (I guess supposedly cuz her shopping daughter is here.) �Tica had a headache and was obviously not feeling well from long time, so they asked Belly if they�d take them to the mall. So we went home to change, Belly came for us (Minus �Tica) and she and I tagged along as them two did more shopping at the boring ass mall here.

Headed by the Lee�s around 4, cuz she said to come by for desert. I was planning on going over by Belly dem for their roomate�s grad party/ bar-b-q, but everyone seemed to be getting too comfie at the Lee�s so after a little bit (musta been around 6) I told her to go ahead and the rest of us stayed there and didn�t come home till 9:30.

I�ve had a headache from since this morning after the ceremony... partially eye strain, partially sinus, and partially lack of SLEEP! I�m still running on�.. hmmm it�s actually 4 hours.. but still, it�s been a long day.

10:45am - O yeh. Who else me haffe sen picha for? Rissi U want one?

9am - From a 2/3am conversation: I should be especially excited and proud of my accomplishments. Not only am I graduating (In 4 years) from an Ivy League University: I�ve passed all my classes, and am one of few of a multiple minority group doing so.
From the Caribbean, black, AND female.

OK.. sidetrack.. so much for grad party tonight.
Mrs Lee had to go to the hospital this morning cuz her nosebleeds got worse. I just spoke to her daughter and she said she was back home now but it just started up again, so they have to go back. She�d been having them (for the first time in her life) from 3 days ago, but not too bad, I guess it got much worse this morning so they went and the docs did this and that and told her if it starts back up to come back.. so they�re on their way back to the hospital. *Frowning*

2:48pm - Hmmm. I was back to being misserable a minute ago, but now I'm excited and curious.

I had my advisory board lunch meeting, while Flo went to get her hur did. Sat waiting for her outside for half hour afterwards... turns out she got lost from the bus to the hotel.. no sense of direction.
N E hoot, I think is the heat got to me, but as I got home, I still had my phone on vibrate and I didn't hear it. Just missed the call, called back and heard State College Floral Shop. They tried to make a delivery to me earlier... so they'll be back soon. I just hope it ent Mr. DJ. *screwing up face* He call again yesterday morning asking bout graduation. I didn't hold back in saying it was tomorrow at 9am, cuz I thought the 9am would be a sure cry at; no way in hell is anyone gonna try make that unless is real important.
N E hoot, turns out he called Des not long after an had some convo with her about driving up here at 4 in the morning as soon as he got off from his party work tonight. He also told her that it ent nothing he trying (When she told him 'good luck'). He said he jus have a soft spot for me ever since he met me. *Screwing up face even MORE* ugh! N E way.. hopefully is not from him. An Me'd ah love fe know he crazy enough to come up here tomorrow morning, cuz me NAR answa me phone.. an is not like he go be able to see or talk to me amongst the hundreds that are graduating in the stadium tomorrow. *Chups*

2:55pm - I just used a calculator to add $10 to $194.03. *shaking head at myself*

3:05pm - A glass vase, with an assortment of flowers, including an orange rose in the center....
From the old fart! *Bex expression*

5:03pm - Never satisfied with himself.

I need a life. Need to act like it really is my day/ weekend. Get up, live it up, make people do shit for me. *chups* I feel 2 dyamn misserable.
Them girls should be here soon enough though. So hopefully it'll B on the up. Hopefully we can do dinner somplace nice early while graduation ceremonies are going on. Then of course to Players we will go. Or at least I know I will go. Hopefully I will be able to get enough of a high to enjoy the shit w/out getting mash up from the mixture of alcohol and (legal) drugs.

11:18pm - Them chicks got in around 5:30 this afternoon. We went to R.L. for dinner, then spent just about 2 hours in Wal-Mart! *Shaking head*
Of course sistren thinks it�s ungodly to go out and have 2 get up for a 7am breakfast. Plus she have 2 set hair and what-not, so they getting ready for bed. And I�m waiting for the man to come get me so I can try the sexy thing one last time. Haha. I feel almost uncomfortable looking so �nice� *Frowning* Yes y�all done know I weird. Chups. This town is just not good enough for this maan.

8:37am - Maan did I sleep for no good reason.
Well I lie, I�m a sick child, so that�s been making me sleepy, and the new drugs �may cause drowsiness� as well.

Not long after my last entry last night, I put in Bad Boys II and hopped into bed. Flo was dozing but pretty much stayed up trying to watch it, but I made no effort to stay awake. I woke up after 9 and took the DVD out, then again after 11 when the boy called, and that was IT! Didn�t get up and out of bed till around 8.

I�m still dizzy as all hell maan. *Frowning*
An that�s not cool.
The no good sister of mine FINALLY call jus now.. *Shaking head She ah ask all what me an me modah do. I tell her already, once U track the campus, the one or two main streets of stores downtown, and the mall�. That�s it! I don�t know what kinda entertainment they expect me to provide her for the next week.

9:45am - *Feelin sickly and misserable*
Now my damn heart rate is going a million a minute, and I'm still dizzy! UGHHH!! If me go dead, why dey jus doah tell me so instead of giving me all kinda lesser diagnosis' an tellin me come back if anything gets worse? *Chups*

3:24pm - O what a trip into the great hot outdoors can do for you. I�m in a pretty good mood now. Then again, that could just be me thinking about how lucky I am to have a certain someone in my life.

A little after noon we went to Sam�s with Mrs Lee and her daughters. Then to the Party Store to get paper plates and plastic cups. Mrs Lee wanted to get 2004 graduate ones, but her younger daughter pointed out that if they don�t get all used, they�ll just add to the stash of 1999, 2000, 2002 etc graduation stuff they have in the house from past parties. So we settled on a simple tropical design for the plates and napkins, and she got the 2004 grad cups, And they made me get balloons too. lol And mom got me a white teddy bear with the 2004 grad hat on, and it�s holding a little diploma. Look ah session. I guess graduation IS a big thing huh. *Still Pretending to not be convinced*

I had a drop in �tea� meeting to attend between 1:30 and 3:30, so they dropped me off, I changed and went to that, and they unloaded, Mrs Lee stayed home, and the rest of them went to Lowes and possibly target. I called just before I left campus about 20 minutes ago and they weren�t back yet, so �Imma jus chill for a bit and then maybe walk over there in a bit.

O yeh.. have I ever mentioned how sick the smell of antibiotics makes me? *Frowning* They're in capsule form, but trust me, I can still smell it, and talk for when I pee! *shaking head* Just brings back bad memories when I used to get painful INJECTIONS of that shit on a reg when I was in the clinic.

10:18pm - Finally home.
I have a helluva headache so I'm headed straight for bed.
The boy sounds disapointed cuz he couldn't get to borrow THE RIDE, but he's on his way back now.

11:26am - Life is good.
Last night was good. Met up with Mitch an dem at one spot for about 20 minutes. Then headed to the Den to talk to E. Turns out he�s leaving town and someone else is taking over. I can�t remember how much I said before about what it was I wanted to talk to him about, so I�ll leave it at that... mission aborted.

I headed BACK down the other end of town 2 meet up with Mitch someplace else, but as I just learned from a phone convo with her, I went to the wrong place. Sooo that would explain why they weren�t there. So I headed to the Caf� and actually had a decent time.

Got borrowed for a bit before being dropped home, and in all the open and honest talk, I found out why Bitch G left town. lol� And I�m not being mean, that was just more of a cynical laugh. Lets just say I asked one last time why he �went into hiding� and the response I got was something to the extent of him being TAKEN into hiding rather than going. NahIMean?

1:25pm - If I didn't HATE the health center so much, I'd be well on my way to the doctor now. I shoulda taken my orthopedic surgeon seriously and made an appiontment to see someone ASAP, cuz now the dizzy spells are really kicking in. *frowning*

6:14pm - I broke down and went to the doctor today. An hour and a half after my scheduled appointment time, and over $100 in drugs later...

The woman seemed well confused with my symptoms, but given the major congestion she saw in my ears and lesser so, my nose, she said I'm probably developing, or have a sinus infection (again). Plus the medication I was taking for my sinus issues before has a decongestent component which could have been the cause (at least partially) of my elevated blood pressure. The pressure that was much lower today when the nurse took it at check-in, and a little higher 40 minutes later when the doctor took it again. It's also significantly different depending on which arm they take it on.

I'm tired.. and dizzy... gonna go lie down.

12:38am - Well I never see a mall so dead yet!
Considering the size of the punie mall here, they�ve ALWAYS been more people in �our� mall (relative to space.. lol) than there were at Altoona today. An imagine as we getting there, after 4pm, that little boy wake up, realise he home alone an call ah ask where we are and how come we didn�t wake him up to come too. *rolling eyes* Yeh whadevah. Their roommate came as well, so it was a 3 girl lime. Nice excuse to get out of the house and out of town though. Belly bought a $9 blouse, and I bought a nice $7 dress.

Got back and the three of them (K, Belly and the roomie) were throwing about some softball for a while (I know I cyarn catch, PLUS me nevah play softball yet, so I watched). We sat outside for a bit enjoying the afternoon then decided we were gonna fix dinner. Sent K to the store to pick up some stuff and we made baked bar-b-q chicken, fried rice, a double-decker chocolate cake, and them girls knock up some daiquiris too. Of course, being Monday night, the boy was not in on any of this.. he was in his room watching his �soaps�. By the time food done cook (or rather, by the time the CHICKEN was done) it was time 2 go get Flo, but I took some for the road and K took me to go get her.

From earlier (yesterday rather), he told me I coulda jus tek the truck to go get her. This was when I thought she'd get in around 10:30, which MAY have been understandable if he was into his soaps at that time. (Which I don't think either of us were thinking of before). But she called after 9 and said she'd be in after 11 and he was still telling me I mus go hed. Now tell me...what sense it make for me to go pick her up when I'd just have 2 come back by him 2 give him back his vehicle and he'd have 2 come take me back home again? I said just that to him and he paused and asked if they still towing over by me even though it's summer. (Cuz I can't park over here for any length of time). N E hoot, so on the way to the airport he ask ME if I'm nervous. *frowning* lol He explained to me that it's a hard ass thing for a man to be meeting the parents. Supposedly is not the same as for a woman, but I promptly told him I was RATHER nervous when I met (the 1st TWO times) his mom as well.

But hear joke nah... The clowns in St. Marteen decided not to look at the bagage tags and just assumed, given the time Flo checked in, that she was getting on a flight to North Carolina.... So her bag is in Charlotte and will not be in (we hope) till tomorrow around noon. Furthermore, because of her employee affiliation, they will not deliver the baggage, so we'll have to go back out there to get it. *rolling eyes*

Aite. I have e-mail from Saturday to go read.. lol.
An ah have ah sinus headache since earlier that ah stress me.

1:02am - Hehe.. Deans List, Deans List. *Acting silly* The strategic management class which I thought was one of the B's ended up being an A-, which was the perfect offset for the B- I DID get in that Business Writing class.

Goodnight.

2:44pm - I had an appointment to get my hair treated this morning, so we set out around 9 for that; took a stroll around downtown, which of course didn�t take long, then around campus. I of course took her into my building, and Dr. B was there, so we sat chatting with him for a while till the people from the airport called to say the bag was in.
K came 2 get us and took us to get it, came home, I cooked and I think I�m gonna take a nap. It�s Pennsylvania hot today so it�s made me sleepy.

Hear miss nuff this morning nuh. Where the jeans you have that too small for you so I can wear them. *slightly confused* She ah try IMPLY that she smaller than me?! lol ah what a ting. N E way, I know she can�t be serious, cuz since we picked her up last night, she commented on my having lost weight, and then again later she randomly said she likes my legs this size.

N E hoot, me tyad, so 'imma go eat an probably take a nap. (Hope I don't 4get about the clothes I have in the dryer)

Ey ey! Dre, I know u'd get a kick out of this one, but you know miss lady gorn schedule appointment with 'my stylist' to have her hair wash an set on Friday. OK den!

8:24pm - I hate this town. *Chups*
Jus walking home tonight and seeing and hearing all the seniors doing the bar ting, or in the yard drinking thing... ugh! It really does annoy me. Shame I had 2 be out to see that tonight, cuz Mitch wanted me to come out with them a little later. Not too much later actually. She said they're heading out around 9. It is my last week of this place... of seeing certain people... of doing the college thing (as much as I hate the extent to which these people do it).

N E hoot, I want to go down tonight to talk to someone about a little summer issue, so I have more than one reason to go out so to speak.

O yeh.. I also meant to say earlier... Mrs. Lee really love ah party see. *shaking head and sighing*. The session move to Friday night, cuz the other dude that graduates, his ceremony is Saturday around 7 and he say he rather have it Friday night rather than late Saturday. (She was gonna tell everyone else "for me" to come around 7, and he and his peeps would come when his ceremony done aftah 8 or 9. Of course that's kinda late, so now it's Friday.
N E way, basically she going thru her list of who coming and who she not sure can come now she switch the date, and (as usual) is all kinda frien from outa town, and the regular Dr. This and Dr. That and Dr. so an so Wife or husband.... I mean.. *sigh* Well, lets just say it won't feel like it's a graduation party for me (and Kevan).

Ok.. I gorn mentally prepare myself for going out later.

2:22pm - Saturday seems almost insignificant now; but I will say it was a nice, productive day of shopping on the Avenue. I was a pretty moody gal this weekend though. Not in a very bad way, but for some reason, I was just not taking jokes, and comments (which have been made a million times before) about getting me �up to date� very well. *shrug* Ah well.

I just stepped in, with my bit of shopping from Saturday, as well as a few groceries from this morning. I�m heading out again now.. lol. Guess where� To go to the mall in Altoona with Belly. She's taking summer classes, and I guess since momsie is still in England, no one wants to go home. So she say she nar tap inna de house borde so again today. lol.

Me ah go hole anodah quick fresh an gorn.
I really should stay here and 'prepare' the lodging for Flo tonight Yunno.. ah well.. whatevah! *wink*

2:30pm - *LoL* Well ladies, me feel too special. Trust me, I felt outa place having not journalized since Saturday.. well well. I was feeling too coupe up in his apartment dey bouy.. but like I said, me and sis gorn shopping again. lol. If not to actually shop this time, at least fe get outa de apartment an do subben. *Grinnin* Laterrr.. *waving*

7:10am - Dreams of underwater hide n seek. Yup� I officially need help.

8:23am - I'm going shopping with my baby. *Smiling*

12:15am - Wake up� go bade an put on some clothes fe step out child.

12:23am - O boy. Not this; �I�m not about to get hot� water shit again.

4:03am - What an interesting morning (at the restaurant.. not the club). Kim and the waiter were just ripping on each other! lol
I wonder what she's gonna go do to kill time till work again at 7. Sucks when U live out of town and have to work late-nite and then early morning the next day. Well I better count my blessings and go get my couple hours sleep before I head in at 7.

10:55am - I do NOT feel very well this morning.
They only have one person scheduled this morning between 11 and 1, so I told them I'd stay.
On a little break now till I go back, then I'll have to leave around quarter till to get out to the hospital. (K's gonna take me.. if he doesn't fall back asleep).

Hopefully I'll be feeling better (instead of the progressive worsening I've been dealing with) so we don't have to cancel our shopping escapade tomorrow.

O yeh.. Mr DJ called again just as I went on break.. chups. Asking about graduation again (as if he ah try come.. *chups*) an to tell me bout he can only find one tape of one of our CSA shows, but he still looking for the one that he had 'footage' of the pre-party (which was banging as usual).
He was also showing the UTMOST concern about the fact I didn't sound good and said I haven't been feeling well. But at least that got me off from him saying anything about me not answering or returning his calls or messages in the past few days.

2:20pm - 120/70 is normal.
I am as ABnormal as a 170/100 gets.

I only now getting home, cuz someone is hardly ever on time, so I got to the hospital around 20 past and had to wait to be seen (I called to tell them I would be late). I'm good to go checking off on the knee, but yeh... who tell me tell them check mah pressure. After doing it on both arms twice, (the poor man seemed to be in shock) he said I need to make an appointment to get THAT shit checked out by "Monday at the latest" *screwing up face*

6:35pm - I just got re-acquainted with food for the first for the day (Excluding our 3am breakfast). Do I want to go back to bed, or watch a DVD? (Which, un-fortunately I have to sit up to do, seeing as my computer screen not big enough)

8:22pm - OUUUHHH!!! Pause for a cause!
LL is SOOOOOO SEXY!!! AHHHH!!! Of course this is a well known fact by all, but jeez-um. I was just watching the part when they were flirting at the mayor's dinner.... *Fanning* O yeh.. I'm watching
"Deliver us From Eva"
I should also say I hated EVA from the first 5 minutes of the movie!
Ok.. back to the sex scene (assuming something doesn't go wrong before they really do it)

9:06pm - How friggin sweet!
*Still teary eyed*

O Yeh.. G called just as I was getting back to my little sex scene. He ah ask bout dress code and where it is (as if he know places up here). He say he still 'trying' to get off work, so I told him nuh bodah up heself cuz me done ha 3 people ah come...
O LAUUUD!!! *ROCL* I just saw the ending clip where the 'gay' guy from the salon was on the phone with his woman. murdah! what a ting.

9:53pm - Watched all the edits, and bonus tracks... i'm going back to bed now. (Back to feeling misserable)

What the HELL am I gonna do with myself when I leave this town?

11:52am - It felt so good to get off work last this morning, jump in a vehicle and DRIVE home.

After dinner we had time to chill, but when I was ready to get back to work, The Sopranos was on, so someone couldn�t take their eyes off the tv long enough to even hand me the keys and tell me gwarn.

I work 2-5 today, and I should go out tonight. Also, I plan on going back up to the HUB after work to meet some of the peeps (Students and supervisors) when they get off at 2:30, cuz they�re planning on going to breakfast at Perkins for a final goodbye.

12:35pm - Ehhh. I got a B- for my Hotel Mgmt class. (That final exam man) So I have to get solid B's for the Facilities and English classes to hit the list. One more B- in either of those (I know it's all A's for the other 5 classes) and I'll miss my mark by .01! I think that will be the day that I go 'talk to the prof' about bumping me. lol

Lemme go cook mah food so I can eat, bathe and be off for work in under an hour.

1:22pm - *Sigh* These people jus want to kill me with worrysome stress eh.

5:23pm - How could I 4get to mention this shit earlier?
A few minutes to 6 this morning; text message: Hi
This man has SEEEERIOUS PROBLEMS!! *chups*

N E hoot, horray for me for having completed my final day of work at this ill-managed, meaningless place. Tomorrow doesn't count, cuz I like that particular unit.

Zigg.. I C i've gotten your package. WIll comment later after I open it. True say me ah look fe go wash face, brush teet, an head straight to BED! (And hope I wake up in time to go someplace tonight. lol)

6:56pm - Phantom fockin discomfort. And of COURSE once again I can't sleep!

7pm - $3000 that was once called 'savings' went into my checking account on Monday. Today... I'm at a $250 balance, with no known source of income for the next three months... and 3 months rent to be paid!

8:09am - I was supposed to go out last night, but lordie was I tired.

An Ziggy, I was packing all winter stuff, unpacking and throwing away needless stuff, packing books etc. I am also not gonna wait till I realize I need to ship out to start packing. U know how long a complete move out packing takes, and I want to do as much as I can now that I have the time instead of waiting till I know for sure when I leaving.

Flo call last night and say she ah come Monday instead (of Saturday) from St. Marteen or something so. *shrug*

9:32am - Aite. I got THAT squared away now. Gonna go work out, check for the millionth time that I have everything in order and signed, and mail this stuff on my way home.

12:07pm - Body scrub, foot scrub, exfoliated, powdered. On a semi-dreary day like today, I'd love to snuggle up to me right now. *wink*

2pm - Ahhhh. I Can't sleep!

3:44pm - Dee just stopped by. Ent gained an ounce. lol. And she's the first person I hear to say they're actually 'turned off' from the hospitality industry. Could be the area she was in (campus dining). O well.. I'll learn soon enough.

Time 2 B getting ready for work, and U think I sleep yet? *Shaking head*

6:34pm - What a waste. These people do NOT know how to manage a little food uniion effectively. 5 student employees, one supervisor, one person on register, and in the hour and a half that I was there, less than 10 customers total. I put in my request fe save their payroll and left at 6 (shoulda been there till 7:30). All good, cuz muh real hungry so now I get to go have dinner with my boo early.

10:58am - Of course, being relatively early, and considering it�s finals week, the cardio room at the gym was fair game after 9 this morning. So I had my choice, and chose to do my thang on the elliptical in front of the TV showing cartoons. Only after I started did I realize that between me and the TV, was a young lady on another machine who I just wanted to escort her to an all U can eat breakfast buffet. *sigh * I don�t know what it is with these girls maan. And before the morning was over, I saw 2 more in the gym ah talk bout dem ah work out. Jeez.

Sunday, Nice saw me �leaving the scene of the crime?for the 1st time. This morning I stop in the store to get some boxes and if U see dude ah duck down behind racks ah bawl bout �Look who�s creeping around again? I was just like.. I do my shit out in the open dude, so stop yuh foolishness. *rolling eyes and shaking head*

Aite? Food, rest and then work from 1:30 ?5.

11:24am - Ok, so no one is trying to move in the complex early this summer, so I'll be paying rent till August no matter what. And I supposedly can't get a free credit report. *Frowning* Have to talk to the Lee's about that one again.

5:40pm - If I could (have) work(ed) just at Chats, and only afternoons and nights when certain supervisors (and student employees) were there, my work life could (have) be(en) SUCH a pleasant experience. I honestly didn�t want to leave work this afternoon.

Yeah.. My new SEVIS is ready.. so now onto the REAL application stage for OPT.

My silly self called the rental office today to ask about anyone wanting to move in earlier. After that I saw dude from next door (he hadn�t been around in a while) but I 4got I also needed to ask him about getting a temporary parking pass for next weekend.

5:53pm - Ook then. Why am I getting a letter from EnP about the roll-out of their new coffee? Granted I knew about it for months now, cuz I was at headquarters late last year when they were talking about testing out the change.

8:30pm - AhWhaDeHellyeh. I talking to Flo and she asked, or rather declared: I suppose you know Charles Watt died. I did not know this, but she said she SUPPOSE is kidney failure or something related to his smoking and drinking habits. Then she say she SUPPOSE once again that I knew Bernard Ho's mother died around the same time.. *Shaking head* Well well. Mrs. Ho was aging rather quickly as of late, but still... where the hell have I been living?! Not in LA, that's for sure.

A little later - Aite.. So Jazelle K.'s mom ALSO died around the same time. *Shaking head* Can't say I remember her to be honest though.

10:35a - O my God. I am not seriously having to do this? I haven�t been worried about having done anything wrong before, but just hearing that I should still do it? *nervous frown*

1:58pm - My undergraduate career is un-officially over!
(Not 2 sure how I Feel about it to be honest)

I stopped at the bank on the way home to get quarters, so I guess I'll go do the rest of my laundry and REALLY start to pack. My store didn't have any boxex today (Which they said was strange) but I'll still at least go put away all winter stuff in the boxes I do have, and pull out the sexies.

I find I've just been in the mood to eat all the time the past few days. Yesterday I had a hearty meal for 'breakfast', then I ordered chocolate chip pancakes from EnP. I also had an ice-cream cone, and then another good meal for dinner. I had cereal this morning, I guess it is about lunch-time now, so maybe I'm over-reacting, but still.. me jus feel fe nyam plenty.

2:15pm - Eh eh. But I 4got K's brother sent soup for me Saturday night. So I can eat good this afternoon man.

3:20pm - Don't you just love cleaning?
Not only have I Come across some interesting, memorable photos, but I just found 2 CD's that Mitch made for me... 4 years ago!

4:34pm - Eh Ah get the feelin' the gym nar see me today yunno. Cuz this shit is getting too intense, and I'm not going to want to leave anything partially done.
And ah think I've had enough of Zuggu-robics for the day

5:34pm - I threw so much stuff away, I now have 4 empty boxes.

10:03pm - *Disgusted and annoyed* Why does MISTAH DJ insist on calling me when he jus wake up? He call me aftah 10 this morning an is only now I listening to the message. As he often does, he declares; the reason his voice �soun�in so harsh?is cuz he jus wake up. What the hell!! You dreamt of my ass why you had to call me jus as you rolling outa bed in the morning? UGGGH!!

Dee is in town for a few days. She called just in time to wake me up for my 10pm detective shows. (Happens to be CSI tonight) Funny she called, cuz jus this afternoon I was thinking I needed to give her a call to find out if she�d be in town before I leave, cuz I realized I have stuff here for her still.

2:38pm - Hollah! The first A is in.
But of course I just felt like 'talking' cuz it was one of the obvious A's... the JA class.

U know what I just thought of... Today is probably my last Sunday with the boy. Granted he's not here right now, but still... it's the last of these Sundays.

2:56pm - O no they didn't! I'm watching Pimp My Ride and these dudes put a built in espresso machine in between the front seats of the car. Not to mention the chandelier for a ceiling light, and the vanity set in the trunk. *shaking head*
Oook then, they were keeping secrets, they also put a laptop in the golve compartment!

4:20pm - I hate this shit.
Once again I'm here doing diddly squat (studying actually), I have a thing to go to at 5:30, but all of a sudden it got extremely dark and windy and now it's raining, so I'm not in the mood to walk (back from) the thing, so I'm thinking 2ice about going. On the other hand, I don't want 2 leave here in the mood I'm in, but lord knows what time it will be when kid gets back (again.. cuz when he 1st did, I was leaving 2 go get grub). And if I sit here and boil much longer, I may just want to do nothing more than leave when he does.

Why does it always seem like I'm used for a damn housewarmer? chups.

8:43pm - Ok, it's out and over; he's here, I'm still here, why do I still keep crying?

12:25am - And I�m back home and ready for bed.

10:55am - So why do I still feel so misserable?
Or should I say MORE misserable after a certain person called me.

1:30pm - Lemme go attempt a workout see, cuz this bum feeling is note cute.

4:20pm - The temperature is fine for me (just about 80) but something about the weather makes it extremely uncomfortable outside. I was walking around downtown after the gym, and muh jus WEARY!

And where is my gift for the day so long?

5:11pm - There�s something I�ve been meaning to bitch about for a while now but I think it�s really coming to a head now?

I remember a while back getting an e-mail about erasing negative people from your life, and thought about how true it is, when you think of how negative vibes rub off. I�m really tired of people who never seem to be able to be happy for me if things are not going the way they want it to go for them. I mean, granted just about everyone will have some feelings of resent if their life is shitty and someone else�s is great, but what�s the point of getting UPSET about it? And the same goes for when things aren�t going well for me, cuz they turn around and play like is a competition to see whose life is worse. Always have to put in their sad story and just forget I ever had something to vent about. I have larger issues that I tell few or nobody about. You don�t see me bringing THEM up when you start your �sad story war? A certain amount of trial and tribulation is a part of life, and particularly when it�s clear that you don�t have your priorities straight and are doing, or not doing shit to make matters worse for yourself, you�re goanna find it extremely difficult to get my sympathy or help.

Then there�s the issue of people being around when times are straight and / or it�s convenient, but perhaps not available when I most need it. Not that I�m going to complain about someone having other priorities when I need them, but I�m the person to try keep in touch all the while, whether I need you or not. Meanwhile, you don�t have time for me. Like I said; all well and good, but if I figure you don�t have time for me, then I�ll stop wasting my time trying 2 just maintain a steady friendship. (No hard feelings, life moves on) And I�m not saying I go NOT talk to you or help you out if and when you decide to hit me up, but don�t do your shit and then contact me 10 years later talking about hey they stranger?We not friends anymore?
*Flaring nose and rolling eyes * Don�t pass judgment on ME when it�s pretty much YOUR fault that we lost touch and things aren�t the way you want them to be.

N E way. Some other shit just frustrated me further, so once again, I�m gonna go put my sorry ass in bed.

10:10pm - Ok. I�m finally feeling better.
Been looking thru my yearbook and half watching tv. (The District) But now I�m gonna really watch TV, cuz Law & Order is on.
No sign of my gift yet, but to be honest, now I don�t really even care anymore.. which would probably mean it�s gonna show up now that I�m watching my thing. Or not.. *shrug*