Chapter

Kevin Richardson sat in the far corner of the hotel bar. To the outside world, he was a man that had everything. He was a member of an enormously popular singing group, the Backstreet Boys, stunningly handsome, and had a heart of gold. But, tonight, the truth was not visible to the naked eye.

�When did things go wrong?�, he asked himself. The handsome young man was staring intently into his wine glass as if hoping all of his answers were hidden at the bottom of the glass. �She was using me, dammit, WHY couldn�t I see it?�, he wondered out loud. �Am I such an idiot when it comes to my feelings?� He was speaking to no one in particular yet was hoping for an answer from someone... anyone. With a mournful sigh, he picked up his wine glass and finished it off with one big gulp. He then proceeded to stare at the empty glass in his hand, and the 2nd empty wine bottle, on the table.

The empty bottle seemed to fascinate him for some reason. He didn�t really know why, but, then again, he didn�t seem to know much lately! He started to play with the empty bottle. He laid it on its side...flat on the table. He chuckled to himself as he remembered the infamous childhood game he had played at his family�s summer camp. He grabbed the bottle and gave it a spin. He watched it come to a stop and point at an obviously empty chair. �Figures....�, he muttered...�ain�t no one there to kiss!� He spun the bottle again, feeling himself getting slightly dizzy watching it go around. The bottle stopped at himself. �Well, kiss my Kentucky ass!�, he said to no one in particular, � the bottle stops on ME and there�s not a damn person here to kiss ME!� Feeling frustration build, he gave the bottle ONE more, overly enthusiastic, spin. �Oh! Oh! Nooo ... please don�t....�, he exclaimed as the bottle started to slide across the table. �Awww... shit... no!� , he yelped, and before he could react, the bottle slid against the empty glass knocking it off the table on to the floor. �Whoa, Kev....ya got lucky�, he mumbled when the glass landed, but did not break. His luck promptly ran out when the still spinning bottle followed the glass down onto the floor, landed on the glass, and shattered it! �Well, I�ll be damned�, he exclaimed, his speech becoming slightly slurred and his accent becoming more pronounced. He slid off his chair, onto his knees and started to pick up the remnants of his little game. �Way to go Kevin! You�re a freaking genius�, he muttered to himself. �Hold up, maybe I shouldn�t have drank those two whole bottles that fast�, he said as his head started to spin. �Aw hell...maybe I should�ve bothered to eat something, too!� The waiter rushed over to finish picking up the broken glass. Kevin, always one to remain polite, even when slightly drunk, offered a sincere apology, �so sorry man, I wasn�t thinking�, and he pressed a $100.00 bill into the waiters hand.

Or maybe I been thinking too much, he thought, as he walked away.

Kevin normally knew better than to drink on an empty stomach...especially two entire bottles of wine..but, tonight, he reasoned was an exception to the rule. He was alone for the first time in almost a year, he was truly alone. He knew he�d always have the guys, but he never expected her to leave.

�Jesus�...he muttered...�I proposed for gods sake!� He leaned against the doorframe on the way out of the bar. He closed his eyes and wondered why he didn�t see it. The guys saw it all along. They never liked Trish. What was it that Brian said.....damned if he could remember now...something about her being a silver miner... no..wait..a gold miner...no..a gold DIGGER! That was it. Was there something so wrong about him that he couldn�t find the ONE..the love of his life?? He looked across the lobby at the mirrors on the wall. Hmmm...let�s do some examining he thought.

He started to move across the lobby to the mirrors. �Whoooa..this lobby got a lot bigger and this floor didn't move before�, he mumbled under his breath, as he staggered ever so slightly across the marble floor. He reached the mirrors and took a long hard look at himself. Kevin was over 6 ft tall and prided himself on his physical appearance. He worked out regularly and it showed. His hair was long, thick and such a dark brown it was almost black. He had high cheekbones, a strong jawline, broad shoulders and a trim waist. He had on a pair of black leather pants, a red turtleneck and a long black leather coat. But, what set Kevin apart from all other handsome men were his eyes. No one else had eyes like his. They were a brilliant shade of green and sparkled like the stars. But, not this night. Kevin's eyes always reflected his thoughts and emotions. Tonight there was a sadness in them. He just shook his head at his reflection, not really seeing what the rest of the world saw.

He still couldn�t believe that her answer to his proposal was not yes, not no...she just laughed. �Marry you?�, she asked, �you�ve gotta be kidding me?� �Aaahhh..well, no, I WAS serious�, he answered her. The entire conversation replaying in his mind now like a bad movie. How could she have been so cruel?? She could�ve just said no, he thought. But instead, she ripped out his heart, and then stomped on it. �Oh sweet Kevin,� she icily answered, �I never loved you. I knew that the day would come when knowing you would do me some good. And guess what .. baby? It finally paid off. I�ve finally got that movie role. Yes Kevin, I�m going to be in a movie.� She just rambled on and on, Kevin didn�t remember anything else in the conversation after that. He was devastated. He just knew she kept talking....and talking. Oh how he wanted her to stop talking. When she finally did, he stood and processed all she had said. �Get out, go on.....leave!�, he shouted across the hotel suite. She just glared at him.

�I said GET OUT!�, Kevin yelled as he turned his back to her. Damn her! Why wouldn't she just go, he thought. He waited for what seemed like an eternity. �Fine then...I'm going out now...and when I get back I want you GONE!�, was the last thing he shouted at her before slamming the door shut behind him.

He knew she was gone. He had seen her walk out while he was in the bar.

Kevin realized he�d been staring at his reflection for far too long and far too intently. He turned away from the mirrors not really sure he saw what the rest of the world saw when they looked at him. Not really sure about much of anything anymore. Kevin�s body was telling him to go upstairs and get to bed. They had a show tomorrow night. And, it would be no fun to perform hung over, let alone hung over and exhausted. But, while his body was telling him to go to bed, his mind was telling him to run. He needed air or he would suffocate. Kevin�s mind won the battle, but didn�t quite win the war. He propelled himself toward the front doors and the outside world. The tears had finally begun to flow rapidly. So, now not only were his legs not moving very well, but he wasn�t seeing very well either. Kevin continued to stagger toward the front doors, not really knowing what he was going to do, if and when, he ever reached them.

Kevin heard a voice shouting at him. �KEVIN! STOP!! NOW!!!� Kevin glanced over his shoulder and saw Luke, his body guard bearing down on him. At any other time, Kevin could�ve given Luke a run for his money. But tonight the affects of too much wine and a broken heart slowed him down. Luke caught up to Kevin, and grabbed him by the shoulders.

�LET ME GO!�, yelled Kevin, as he tried to pull away. �I don�t think so�, was Luke�s only response, as he tightened his grip on Kevin. Kevin spun to face him and Luke felt his own heart break when he saw the pain on Kevin�s face.

Luke had been Kevin�s body guard for some time now. He knew that of all the body guards, his was the hardest job. Kevin was stubborn and determined to do things his way. He made it difficult for Luke most days. But, Luke also knew that Kevin had the biggest heart he�d ever seen, and they truly loved each other. And, tonight, at this moment, Luke knew .... he just knew that Kevin�s incredibly big heart was broken. Kevin�s eyes always reflected whatever his heart was feeling, and right now, those eyes were telling of a pain so deep that Luke had to fight back his own tears.

�Kevin, listen to me...�, Luke pleaded. �just where do you think you�re going?�

�I need to get some fresh air�, Kevin remarked, as he attempted to release his arm from Luke�s tight grip.

�That would be a bad idea, Kevin....a VERY bad idea�, scolded Luke, as if Kevin were 10 yrs old, �do you really think you should be going out like this? In this condition?�, Luke asked, hoping something would sink into that hard head of Kevin�s.

�Luke, please listen to me�, Kevin said in a voice barely above a ragged whisper. �I need to get out for a while. I have to try to clear my head, even if its only for a little bit�. His eyes searched Luke�s face for understanding. He then stared intently into Luke�s eyes. An almost hypnotic stare...maybe more of a glare...but hypnotic nonetheless.

�Kevin......stop that! Do NOT think you�re going to stand there, staring at me, trying to hypnotize me and willing me to let you do whatever the hell it is you think you want to do�, Luke growled angrily at Kevin.

At this statement, Kevin promptly launched into a fit of giggles. Oh shit, thought Luke, here we go! The only times that Luke could recall Kevin ever giggling were the times he proved to be impossible to watch and those times usually involved large quantities of alcohol.

�Lu...Luke....p..ppp...please don�t talk that fast....I c..cc..can�t keep up. Ya know I�m a country boy that don�t talk fast..and I just can�t listen that fast either.� Kevin was not able to stop his giggles.

Luke just shook his head and let go of Kevin�s shoulders. Kevin was a good man and he was hurting. Luke had heard the shouting earlier, in the room, and had to admit, that like the others, he had seen it coming. He knew about the ring and that a proposal was coming, but it was not his place to say anything. The others had tried to warn him, but Kevin was convinced that this relationship was the real deal. If Luke could have gotten his hands on that damn blonde, right now, he�d have strangled her and then tossed her in a room with the other four guys so they could all have a turn!

�Luuuuke,� Kevin pleaded, �help me man, come with me...just for a short walk� �PLEASE .. I'll be good.....I promise I�ll behave....really, I will�. Kevin had such a pained expression that Luke knew he had to go with him for this walk. Not to mention that Luke also knew that once Kevin set his mind to something, he was going to do it. Even if it meant sneaking out alone, as Kevin had done in the past. Luke was going to make sure that did NOT happen tonight.

�Fine....�, sighed Luke, he�d lost and he knew it. �Just a short walk...you do exactly what I tell you...and NO wandering off...understand?�

Kevin reached out to Luke and gave him the strongest hug Luke had ever felt. �Thank you. You�ll never know what this means to me�, Kevin whispered into Luke�s ear.

That done...the two men headed for the outside doors.

Kevin was going to get that breathe of fresh air he so desperately needed. Little did he know, he was going to end up getting a lot more than he ever bargained for when he rounded the corner, and headed down the sidewalk, into the darkness of the night. One very handsome, very sad, very intoxicated man and one giant of a man who was determined to see to it that no physical harm would ever come to the man with the broken heart.