| Busy days melted into quiet thoughtful nights. They spent their days together, with Kaylee reluctantly going into work on Monday, and Kevin surprising her at lunchtime. "Good Lord Kevin, do you really think a hat and shades could hide that face...not to mention that voice...don't you dare speak to anyone," Kaylee attempted to smile and speak through gritted teeth, later admitting that having him show up made her day...even if it did require some explaining. Kevin for his part was fascinated with her work. A normal life was something he wanted so badly but, could never have. He loved his life...but at times he just wished he was invisible. Kaylee was his connection to normalcy. He smiled everytime he thought about her....Kaylee...the woman that he was letting fully into his heart... into his soul. Their evenings and nights were spent in the quiet comfort of two people who were giving in to their feelings. Moments spent together doing nothing more than watching television...wrapped in each others arms. A hurdle had been crossed that first night and even though "love" was never mentioned again...they both knew. Before either of them knew it, the time had come for Kevin to leave. He was relentless in his quest for her to at least attend the last show of the tour, in New York. "Please baby...," he pleaded as he batted his eyes and stuck out his lower lip. "Kevin...no. I can't... I'm going in late today...and I've got so much to do at work considering I'm going to be gone all next week. Well...that is...unless you'd rather take this trip alone...huh? Oh...cat got your tongue big boy," she gave him a sideways look and tried not to smile. "Oh no...ain't nothin' got my tongue....," he whispered as he leaned toward her, lifting her hair and running his tongue up the side of her neck, to her ear, sucking on her earlobe. "Pleeeease....," his voice muffled as he tugged on her earlode with his teeth, he slid his hand down to her bottom..pulling her closer. Kaylee's head started to spin. I hate you Kevin.....I hate you with all my heart....just stay strong Kaylee..... He kissed along her cheek, all the while whispering...pleading...and at the first touch of his lips on hers she grabbed his head and kissed him deeply...slowly. Staying strong is grossly overrated....kissing him is much better "Holy hell woman," his voice breathless against her mouth. "I think your argument for staying is better than my argument for going." He held her head to his chest, and then to her surprise, he lifted her up and placed her on the kitchen counter, moving to stand between her legs. Looking deeply into each others eyes....words seemed inadequate. "I don't wanna go," he said softly, gently touching his forehead to hers. "I don't want you to go either....," she sighed, "but we both know you have to." "Backstreet could become a quartet you know," his attempt at humor brought a small smile to both of them. "Kevin...stop....look at it this way....you'll be so busy...doing what you do...making women crazy...that before you know it....we'll be together, and in Kentucky...you know...next week at this time......" "I know....we'll be there....but that don't mean I can't wish it was now...or that you were coming with me....." "Soon baby....," her voice breaking. "Now....kiss me...and go.....I think someone's waiting for you," she said, looking over his shoulder to see Luke nodding at her, and mouthing "it's time". He kissed her gently ... hugged her fiercely....turned....and walked out the door. If I look back...I'll never go........ If he looks back....I'll never let him go.... As they drove away, Kevin looked back one last time....."I love you Kaylee....," his voice barely a whisper. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Kevin had to admit it...Kaylee was right. He was so busy, the time flew by and before he knew it....he was walking into another hotel lobby...for one final time on this tour. "It's over tonight, dawg," he looked down at AJ and put his arm around his shoulder as they made their way upstairs. "Sure is Kev......I'll miss it though. You know me...this is my life....lost without it." They had reached AJ's room as the others scattered down the hall to their respective rooms. "I know J....I know....," he patted his friend's back. "I don't feel quite so bad about it myself, though....kinda glad actually." "If I had a woman like Kaylee waiting for me....I'd consider skipping out right now, man...honestly." Kevin blushed and chuckled as he recalled his desire to make Backstreet a quartet. "Believe me .. I've thought about it.....but...who would all the women want if I wasn't here?" The two men laughed as AJ opened his door and stepped inside. "So...you quick outing from here...and heading to Pittsburgh to pick up your lady?" "That appears to be the plan as of right now.....I'll be flying out right after the show...and then we'll leave together ... 8:20 flight tomorrow morning. I'll have the whole day to show her what makes me...me...." "Sounds good , Kev........you can fill me in on what you got planned later on.......I'm beat right now." "Yeah.....me, too Aje.........g'night.....morning..whatever the hell it is.....," he rolled his eyes as he glanced at his watch. Shit..., he thought...shouldn't have stayed to eat....it's almost 6:30. Kevin made the short walk to his room and let himself in, tossing his bag in the corner and heading to the mini bar for a bottle of water. He saw the flickering light coming from under the bedroom door. He moved closer and could smell something......a candle burning. "What the.......," he muttered as he opened the door. "Hey Kevvy......miss me," her voice like nails on his skin. "What the FUCK are you doing here," his jaw clenching. She slid off the bed and moved toward him, clad in only a see through negligee. "Aw Kev....c'mon baby....I missed you......," she drew her finger down the hard lines of his chest. "Don't touch me," his voice hard as he gripped her wrist. "What's your problem Kevin? I made a mistake....get over it... I did...and now I'm ready to start over....," her hand reaching up into his hair. Kevin's head was spinning. Why was she there? How'd she get in....well hell...she knew all his aliases. "Trish....stop," his voice deep and angry. "Put some clothes on...and again...do not touch me." He threw her hands down and backed away. "Goddamn you Kevin....not too long ago...you wanted me to touch you....all the time....to just fuck you senseless.....you getting it somewhere else now baby? I know she can't be as good as me...." "Shut up....just shut the fuck up....," his voice rising as anger raged through his body. "It's her, isn't it...the one in the Star......" Kevin's eyes widened...."the Star," his voice lowering, his eyes mere slits. "What the hell do you mean...the Star?" "You two look cute together Kevvy...not like us though....but....well....just....cute. She looks 'ordinary' honey...not quite up to your usual standards." "What about the Star, Trish....," his voice hard....his teeth clenched, "answer me." "Oh yeah...I forgot...you don't read those things. Well, lover boy...seems your escapades in Pittsburgh ended up there....that old temper of yours showing itself again.....and really...such public displays of affection.....didn't think that kind of shit was allowed," her voice dripping with sarcasm. Kevin sat on the chair and put his head back, closing his eyes and letting out a deep breath. "Jesus....she doesn't need this.....," he muttered, putting his arm over his eyes. "No Kev...maybe she doesn't need it....but...I think you do...remember..I know what you like...and you like this," her hand reaching back up into his hair, "...and I KNOW you love this....," her voice deep as she knelt in front of him trying to undo his belt. "Enough," he yelled, as he grabbed her hands and stood up taking her with him. "Kevin...c'mon baby...you know we're good together...you never said no before....we would make love all night....you loved what I'd do to you....remember Kevin...remember how I'd make you feel," her eyes narrowed as she struggled against his grip. "Yeah Trish...we'd fuck all night....," his voice harsh, "and that's all it was Trish.......fucking........" "What the hell does that mean Kevin," her voice rising. "Pay attention then Trish......F..U..C..K..I..N..G," spelling the word out, "fucking....ummm...sex......no emotion...just sex." "No Kevin...," her voice starting to crack, "you loved me....you still do....you want to marry me......." "No ... I thought you were my love...my future....that I was in love with you.....but I wasn't....I'm not....and I don't....you see Trish.......I know what love is now." "Kevin," her voice softening and her eyes filling, "please let me go." "Fine Trish...just DON'T touch me again," he ordered, as he released her hands. Trish turned and ran into the bathroom. "Would...would you hand me my...my... clothes please...I need to get dressed." Kevin handed her bag through the open door, and then walked back into the living area. After a few minutes, she walked into the room dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt. They sat at opposite ends of the couch in silence. "Why Trish.....why now.....," his voice calmer as he turned his head to look at her. Her voice soft, her head hung, he barely heard her. "I need you....," her voice trailed off, "....they fired me Kevin." He turned his body and sat facing her, rubbing his hands over his face. This was the last thing he wanted or needed right now. "You had me Trish......but you chose to leave.....you can't take all that back." "Why not Kevin...because of some new woman," she pulled her legs up under her and faced him. "We could get everything back baby....we have history....I know you...this business...." "Yeah Trish....we have a history...you know the business...but...you...knowing me....I don't think so......tell me something.....how'd I get this scar," he asked, pointing below his right eye. "Football....." He interrupted her, "exactly......every damn fan out there knows this came from football......every fan. But tell me Trish....what's my horse's name....how many rooms are in my house in Kentucky...what was my favorite subject back in high school...give me those answers." She dropped her head. "Didn't think you could," he continued softly, "you loved the man you thought I was, Trish. The man on stage every night...the man that could bring you closer to your dreams...a person who doesn't exist by himself. Kevin Backstreet doesn't really...truly exist Trish. His essence...his spirit.... that is what 'lives' inside me, inside Kevin Richardson. But you don't know Kevin Richardson......." She looked up at him, tears falling. He took a deep breath...no matter how he felt....seeing a woman cry because of him was hard to take, but he pressed on....he had to make sure she understood. "Trish........she knows me......she knows Kevin Richardson....she'll tell you my horse's name...in fact, she knows all their names. The house in Kentucky....she's never been there..but she knows every room. My favorite subject in school....yeah....she knows that too. AND...she knows where the scar came from...but, not because of him....Kevin Backstreet....but because she genuinely cares about me." She looked at his face...at his eyes....love shined through him when he talked about her. "You're happy Kevin," she asked, as she tentatively reached for his hand. "Yeah....," his voice a whisper, as he let her take his hand, "and I don't want to hurt you...but....I"ve never been this happy in my life. She's in here," he pointed at his heart. "She's filled the empty places....she was there to pick up the pieces you left behind...she put me back together...," he sighed, "she made me whole again." "Do you love her?" His eyes locked with hers, "yes....." "Oh Kevin....I can see it all over your face...I never saw that there with me....never. I wish I had....it's a look I know I wouldn't forget. Does she know how lucky she is?" "I'm the one that's lucky," he gently tugged on her hand, pulling her to him and tucking her head under his arm. They stayed like that for hours. Talking....dozing off....waking and talking some more. She confessed that once the connection to him was gone....everything fell apart. He told her how he met Kaylee....how once she was in his life...everything came together. They had reached an understanding with each other when exhaustion finally overtook them and they fell asleep on the couch. Kevin awoke around 2:30, in the afternoon, looked around and wondered why he even bothered getting rooms with beds anymore. He looked at Trish and smiled. It felt good to get everything out in the open. She accepted that there would never be a relationship...and he said he would try to be her friend. "Trish," he shook her gently, as he stood, "time to get up. I need to get moving....and you need to go." It was around 3:30 when Trish finally headed for the door. "Kevin......thank you....for......," her voice unsteady, "for sharing so much with me. I wish I hadn't been so stupid. This woman...Kaylee...if she makes you happy...that's all I want. God...why didn't I see what I had in front of me......." "Hush....I ain't no saint.....and you didn't see me...because we weren't meant to be..that's all.......but....your day is coming darlin'.....don't give up on it. Be happy......and if you need me...you know how to find me." He pulled her into a tight hug, and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. As she walked through the door her tears flowed again. "Take care Kevin......." "You, too Trish.......remember everything we talked about.....and be happy." Kevin watched her walk away....his mind clearer.....and his heart growing more full by the minute. Seeing Trish again.....talking for hours.....it opened his eyes....he knew. His future...his life...his love was all wrapped up in two words.....Kaylee Barrone. Trish stepped out of the elevator into the lobby....heading for the doors....hoping and praying that Kevin was right....that she would be alright...that she was strong enough to build her own life. "No better place to start than New York.........," she said to no one in particular. It was at that moment when she turned to go out the doors that she noticed the woman at the desk. "Kaylee......oh my God.....," her voice caught, and she found herself walking toward her. Kaylee turned from the desk and looked directly at Trish.....she smiled as she walked past. Trish reached out her hand, gently touching Kaylee's arm. "Excuse me.....is your name Kaylee?" "Yes.....do I know you," Kaylee's voice warm, yet questioning. "Not really....but honey....I just spent over 6 hours listening to Kevin... getting to know you." She saw the confusion cross over Kaylee's face. "And, before you freak.......I'm Trish Wilson." Kaylee thought her heart was going to pound out of her chest. Her eyes filled, she started to shake..... "Kaylee....give me a minute....actually.....give me more than a minute. Let me tell you some of the things I learned last night. You don't need to be afraid of me...." "Trish......you're Trish......why..........why are you here.....oh my God......I'm such an idiot," her tears falling freely. "Listen to me for a while, ok? C'mon.....let's go in the bar. Trust me.....you're no idiot......nothing happened.....just hear me out....," she took Kaylee's arm and led her to the bar. Trish talked for almost an hour, explaining the events from the early hours of the morning all the way through until the afternoon. Kaylee felt a peace come over her...slowly...the longer Trish talked. When Trish finally got up to leave, she leaned down to hug Kaylee and whispered in her ear. "Take care of his heart Kaylee....you may not know this....but...see..he can't take care of it anymore. He gave it to you.......you have it.....total control over it....it's all yours. Hold it tight......his love runs deep." "Trish....this has to be hard.......don't......" "No....let me finish.....," she took a deep breath before continuing, "Kevin doesn't know how to love at any less than 150%....it may take him a little while to get there...but once he does... you'll know a love like nothing else on this earth. And honey...he's there right now. He loves you.......believe me....it wasn't the words he said with his mouth...it was what he said with his eyes." Kaylee stopped her, "his beautiful eyes...his eyes don't lie." "No...they don't.....love him Kaylee.....be good to him. Let him love you and you'll really know heaven on earth." "Thank you.........this all scares me......but.......I do love him......and together....we'll get it all sorted out....," Kaylee hugged her back. "And one last thing Kaylee.......he's exhausted...my fault. Just a suggestion...since he obviously doesn't know you're here.......let him sleep. Go do some shopping...you're in New York for godsake.....you have a special week coming up....he rests.....you shop.....then go straight to the venue. Call Luke......he'll take care of your suitcases...and he'll make sure you get into the venue without Kevin knowing. It's the last night of the tour......strange shit happens....and trust me......I'd pay my every last dime to see what kind of shit happens when Kevin sees you." "One more thing Kaylee... love him with all your heart and I guarantee you, it will come back ten-fold.," That said, Trish rounded the corner and headed out the door. Kaylee thought about all Trish had told her and after about 10 minutes she pulled out her cell phone.....and dialed Luke's number. "Luke... I'm in New York......and I need your help............." They spoke briefly and when she hung the phone up......she smiled......and waited for Luke to come down and take her bags to his room. He was in the lobby in under 5 minutes.......smiling like a kid on Christmas. Plans were quickly made and they both went their seperate ways. Kaylee practically skipped down the street....her heart light. "Oh yeah...I have a little more shopping to do......all for you Kevin......everything.....from here on.....is just for you...for your love," she said as she walked into the boutique, watching her watch. BACK HOME NEXT |
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| Chapter 46 |