| BLONDE JOKES |
| I knew a blonde who was so stupid that. . . -she called me to get my phone number, -she spent 20 minutes staring at the orange juice box because it said 'concentrate', -she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind, -she got stabbed in a shoot-out, -she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order, -she sat on the TV and watched the couch, -she sent me a fax with a stamp on it, -she tried to drown a fish, -she thought a quarterback was a refund, -she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death, -if you gave her a penny for her thoughts, you'd get change back, -she tripped over a cordless phone, -she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept, -at the bottom of the application form where it says 'sign here' she put 'Sagittarius', -it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes, -she studied for a blood test, -she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare center, -she thought Meow Mix was a record for cats, -she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train, -she sold the car for petrol money, -when she saw 'NC 17' (under 17 not admitted) she went home and got 16 friends, -when she heard that 90% of all accidents occur at home, she moved, -when she misssed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice, -when she was driving to the airport and saw a sign that said 'Airport Left', she turned around and went home. |
| And there's more... |
| Why did the blonde get sacked from the M+M factory? She kept throwing out all the W's. |
| A blonde ordered a pizza over the phone. The sales guy asked her if she wanted it cut into 6 or 12 pieces. She said "Six please. I could never eat twelve pieces". |
| What do UFOs and smart blondes have in common? You keep hearing about them, but you never see any. |
| A blonde was telling a man in a bar a Polish joke, when halfway through the guy interrupts her and says "Don't you know I'm Polish?" "Sorry," says the blonde. "Do you want me to start over and talk slower?" |
| Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde were walking down the street and they see a $100 bill on the floor. Who gets it? Nobody. The first four don't exist and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper. |
| Why don't blondes call 999 in an emergency? They can't remember the number. |
| How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a round room and tell her to sit in the corner. |
| How do blonde brain cells die? Alone. |
| A brunette and a blonde were out joyriding in a car, with the brunette driving, the blonde in the back seat. The brunette told the blonde to check if the police were following them. She turned round, took a long look and said, "Yep." "Well, are his sirens on?" the brunette said. Again the blonde turned around and replied eventually "yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes..." |