| Andersen Consulting: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and uccessfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.The meeting was held in park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business. Louis Farrakhan: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down. Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it? Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road. Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?" Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. Bill Gates: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Oliver Stone: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?" Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. Colonel Sanders: I missed one? Bill Clinton: I did not, and I repeat, did not have sexual relations with that chicken. Pat Buchanan: To steal a job from a decent, hard working American. L.A. Police Department: Give us five minutes with the chicken and we'll find out. Dr. Suess: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told! Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us. Bill Clinton: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. However, I did ask Vernon Jordan to find the chicken a job in New York. Jerry Falwell: Because the chicken was gay! Isn�t it obvious? Can�t you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the �other side.� That�s what �they� call it -- the �other side.� Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like �the other side.� That chicken should not be free to cross the road. It�s plain and simple as that.� The Bible: And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, �Thou shalt cross the road.� And the chickens crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. |