| Often imitated, never duplicated. Best when enjoyed extra dirrty with an olive. |
| ...shaken, not stirred... |
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| Gossip For August 2, 2006 |
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| Drunken Mel Gibson Pictures This morning I stumbled across some pictures of everyone's favorite alcoholic anti-Semitic millionaire the night of his arrest for drunk driving. He is boozing at a bar with a bevy of broads. None of these broads are his wife, which is unnecessary to point out, but is so much fun. Gibson is now reportedly asking the Jews for help in healing. In case you have been under a rock the last few days, here is a synopsis of what has been going on. Drunken Mel gets pulled over for DWI. DRUNKEN MEL: "Hey, you Jew assholes, you are responsible for all the wars!" ARRESTING OFFICER: "You are under arrest." MEL: "Are you a Jew?" the calls a female officer "Sugar tits." Then after Drunken Mel sobers up and bails himself out of jail, it's "Hey you Jews, I know I said shitty stuff about you last night, but I was all drunk and shit. Can you help me out of this PR nightmare?" Good luck with all that, Mel. Here are the pictures of Drunk Mel with some random ladies, who I can only imagine he referred to as "Not A Jew Skank #1, Not A Jew Skank #1, and Sugar Tits." |
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| Tori Spelling Is Preparing For A Life Of Poverty After being give the shaft in a major way by her mother Candy when executing daddy Aaron's will, the ex-Donna Martin is now reportedly selling off many of her designer clothes on Ebay. Around 200 pieces are now available for bidding. Spelling has also registered for $40,000 worth of nursery furnature and supplies at Hollywood maternity store Petit Tresor in hopes of having her dream nursery. I'm confused, is she pregnant or not? In any case, Tori Spelling was literally born with a silver spoon in her mouth. And she immediately spit it out and said "F*ck you, I was a diamond spoon!" True story. So for Candy to leave Tori less than a million, especially when her manicurist and decorator are getting almost as much, is just blame rich-bitch. Let's hope Tori develops a taste for the $1 menu at Wendy's - personally, I like the chicken sandwich. |
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| Paris Hilton Wasn't Abducted By Aliens It's been quite some time since we've seen or heard anything out of Paris Hilton, so I was hoping and wishing that we were finally rid of her for good. Alas, all hope has been lost. Unfortunately for intelligent society, Hilton was photographed in St. Tropez on July 31st. Hilton also revealed that she is back together with greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos. Many people are groaning at this, I am sure. I, however, am somewhat excited about this news. Not because I think they are a good couple of any of that BS. Just because I think it's a good idea to contain STDs as much as possible. Instead of being apart and slutting around the world, sleeping with random people and spreading around the joys of herpes, they can just slut around together. That way, their STDs don't get spread to anyone new. Containment, people! It's science, actually. And you can't argue with science. |
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