I sat in the parking lot, more or less, in a state of shock and just a little more than numb, from the hour before...
I didn't know what was happening to G and it was killing me inside...
One question after another, kept hitting my thought's and I really don't know now, if they were questions being ask by the police, or by my own soul.
Nothing in this slot of time even seemed real... it was like being in a bad dream and not being able to wake yourself up... Until I heard the words... "You have the right to remain silent...."
When the officer finished, with the infamous, "...do you understand your rights?" all I could do was nod my head, my throat was in so much pain, from the knot that now resided there, speech was impossible.
From that moment on I can remember even the tiniest detail of the hell I was about to enter into... We were out there, at the car, for maybe another 20 minutes and then made the trip into the police station, where they did the booking process... finger printing, mug shot and all that, I wanted to call someone but the only way I could call was to make it collect on the other end... and only one phone at our house could accept collect calls... The dreaded internet phone... and of course that number was busy.
My room mate worked that day and I knew it would be after 10PM before she would be off the net. and it was only about 7 then... they let me try a couple of more times and took me upstairs, to put me in the cell... we climbed about a hundred steps, and down a few halls, passing the cages, the men were in, to get to the woman's side, on the way.
I was stopped and given my bedding... which consisted of a thin hospital type blanket and a flat, plastic mattress, which looked more like a pad for a lawn chair that had been weathered about as badly as one from the 1920s... less than 3 inches thick, and hard, but at least blocked the cold of the metal slab, attached to the bars, of the cage, they put me into.
I was alone and afraid, and literally in a cage... the 4 walls of this cell were all bars, as was the top... it was set up for 8 people, but no one else was in there, except me and my own thoughts and hysteria.
I requested that someone call my house, because I needed my medications, which then shift change, also changed the staff that knew what was happening and I was forgotten. I tried to sleep... I cried and dozed off, into a fuzzy state, but not real sleep... and of all things, I kept thinking of my own bed at home and My Pillows... I only wanted to be there and all this be over... My Pillows, were the one thing I kept thinking of, more than anything.... How is it that we think of the silliest things, when crisis hits? I don't know... But to add to the list, I also thought about the warmth of my own bed, and although I don't buy Charmine... I sure missed the toilet paper, we had at home... I cried some more, and prayed for God to allow me to wake up and what little sleep, I finally managed to get, I dreamed of this all from the beginning, again and woke up, with that look on Gs face, sending me back again into the real world... I heard one of the guards call breakfast, after what seemed like an eternity... and handed me a tray, with 2, 3 inch strips of really burnt bacon, an egg that looked like it came off of someone's egg mcmuffin, from the day before and a Styrofoam cup of coffee, from the same egg mcmuffin place... I don't drink coffee, so it found it's way into the stainless steel camode and I filled it with water... from a fountain that was hooked to the same... I ask about my meds... but no one knew anything about them and I ask if I could please have someone look in my purse and bring me my asthma inhaler... but no one could find that either... of course, I found it later... right in the main pocket... where someone had put it, because I kept it in a side pocket, meaning someone had actually, at some point, had it in their hands and just didn't bring it to me...
Some hours passed and the county sheriff came and picked me up, because no one had come to make my bond, I was being moved to a woman's facility (Prison) because, neither the county jail or the city, had proper facilities, to keep a woman in jail... I was moved first to the county jail, back room, to sit for another couple of hours and then taken for arraignment, before thay were to transport me on to where I was to be locked up.
Of course, I was caught red handed with the stuff, I carried into the prison... so it was useless to make a plea of not guilty... videos don't lie a whole lot... and they had it all on tape... when the judge called my name, I stood up and he immediately told me not to say a word... it was as if he knew what I had planned to do... I was going to plead guilty and get it over with... I Thought!!
It's not quite that simple... he told me he would postpone my hearing fro 2 days, so I could get a lawyer... and told me to go to public defenders office and make an application for an attorney from there.
There was only me and one more person that had to go through this too... and I thought of G again, for the first time, in hours... How does he live this life... day in and day out... how does anyone do it?
After this was all over, the deputy, walking between us, was in a foul mood, and less than gentle with the guy with us, who was an uncontrolable talker.... as well as the officer, being held overtime, to take care of my taxi ride to my new residence... which he had informed me, would be right after he locked up the "...guy with the 165 mile an hour mouth"
I was beginning to think I was a forgotten soul too.. I can see how that happens... and I'm sure, with things the way they have been, my husband likely feels the same way now.
And as I walked with the officer, out to his car, I saw my daughter turn the corner with my bond money in hand... $500... remember these figures, they will add up into a fair piece of spending, compared to what we were going to make from all this... and anyone who has done this, already knows, the bond alone, has surpassed the profit, by a good deal.
Of course, a trip to Moberly, from where I live, is roughly 70 miles, give or take and my car had been towed, so I rode home with the kids, quite chatty little guys, they were too... making me tell the story in it's entirety again and laughing because, it was MOM this time, to screw up... I was hoping for silence... but considering I raised this child, I knew that was a far to reach hope.
My Granddaughters, on the other had, were less than pleased... and they weren't laughing either. They were like mini-mothers, giving the same lectures I had myself given to them, countless times before... my friends, were within a mixed group... some were mad because of it, some laughed too... but it had to be one or the other, to keep from saying what they truly thought and with that, I could see that I lost a lot of the respect, I had worked so hard to gain.
The next day, I called the police station to find out where My car was, and had to end up making a total of 5 calls, to track it down, those calls on our phone bill eventually totalled close enough to $40 to call it that, the tow bill was $95, so a running total now is $635, and it isn't finished, yet, rather it has just begun.
I was due in court, the following day after that, and figured, I would go to court,, then to the public defenders office and then pick up my car... making it easy to get things done... but when the next morning came, the ride I thought I had didn't show up and I knew I was already headed for trouble... being charged with a class A Felony is nothing to play with and I had just had a warrant issued for Failure to Appear... so now I was not only a felon, but a fugitive too!
