State Slogans

Something for everybody....

Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity

Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat

Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything

California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda

Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet

Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water

Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids

Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism

Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign

Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)

Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes ... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, And Very Little Else

Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada: Whores and Poker!

New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!

New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney ...

North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable

North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan

Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing

Oregon: Spotted Owl ... It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal

Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender

South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee: The Educashun State

Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English)

Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont: Yep

Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!

Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?

West Virginia: One Big Happy Family ... Really!

Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese

Wyoming: Where Men Are Men ... and the sheep are scared !!!


You Might be a Michigander......

If you define Summer as three months of bad sledding....

If your definition of a small town is one that doesn't have a lake....

If your family breaks into violence during the UM-MSU game (any sport!)...

If snow tires come standard on all your cars....

If at least 50% of your relatives work for the auto industry....

If you have ever gotten frostbitten and sunburned in the same week....

If you can identify an Ohio accent....

If owning a Japanese car was a hanging offense in your home town.....

If you learned to pilot a boat before the training wheels were off your bike....

If you think Alkaline batteries were named after a Tiger outfielder....

If you point at the palm of your right hand when telling people where you grew up....

If you don't understand what the big deal about Chicago is....

If someone aks you if you've been to Europe and you answer, "No, but I've been to Ann Arbor"....

If "Down South" to you means Toledo....

If you have any idea who Bob Ufer was.....

If octopus and hockey go together as naturally as hot dogs and baseball...

If traveling coast to coast means going from Port Huron to Muskegon...

If you think "going up north" would be a great vacation....in January....

If you refer to your relatives in southern Michigan as "trolls" or "lopers"...

If the "Big Three" can mean either Ford, Chrysler and GM or Domino's, Little Ceasar's and Hungry Howie's...

If a Big Mac is something you can drive across....

If you have no problem spelling Mackinac Island....

If you had to get a passport to go to Ohio....

If you have as many Canadian coins in your pockets as American ones...

If your kid's baseball and softball games have ever been snowed out...

If the trees in your backyard have spigots....

If you know that a place called "Kalamazoo" really exists....

If you bake with "soda" and drink "pop"...

If you know what a pastie is...

If you drive 70 mph on the highway and pass on the right....

If your favorite hockey team's mascot is an octopus...

If you have a favorite hockey team...

If you don't have a coughing fit from one sip of Vernor's...

If you know how to play Euchre...


Jokes

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Last updated Sunday, May 13, 2001

Katie Tyson

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