REDEMPTION
Part 5
Disclaimer: see part one. :-)
"Tom? TOM! Wake up! Are you ok? TOM!"
Tom woke up to see Harry's pale anxious face hovering above his. It felt like Harry was trying his best to shake the life out of him.
"What? What, I'm up. Jeez Harry give me a heart attack." Tom moaned to his friend's relief.
"Tom are you ok?" Harry asked, concern etched in his face.
"Of course, I'm fine." Tom replied. "Why? What time is it?"
"It's 1245 and I've been trying to wake you for almost five minutes. I almost called the doc, I thought you were in a coma or something." Harry replied shaken as he sat on the edge of the bed. "Then I saw the bottle and hypospray, Tom what were you thinking?"
*Shit* Tom thought to himself, *I guess I'll have to be more careful*. "Oh Harry, I only had two sips then in the middle of the night I couldn't sleep so I replicated a sleep aid." Tom lied as he sat up.
Sitting up was a bad idea, Tom's world started to go sideways and a wave of nausea poured over him. Tom bolted to the bathroom just in time for his stomach to try to crawl out his mouth.
Harry watched his friend run to the washroom. *Two sips my ass. * he thought. Harry poured Tom a glass of water and wet a face cloth for him, then sat on the edge of the sink waiting for Tom to finish.
Tom spit a few more times in the toilet and sat down on the bathroom floor, gratefully accepting Harry's offerings. He noticed Harry's skeptical look. "Ok, so I had more than two sips, I can handle it."
"Tom, I'm worried about you." Harry began.
"Don't be Har, I'm not worth worrying about." Tom said while wiping his face clean.
That statement startled Harry more than a little. "Don't say that Tom, of course your worth worrying about."
"Oh Harry you take things so literally."
"How should I have taken that comment?"
Tom tried to think of a reply when he heard his door chime. "Computer who is at my door" Tom asked. He had a feeling it was Chakotay and did not want him to see him like this.
"Commander Chakotay is at the door." The computer replied.
"Don't answer it Harry, I don't want to see him right now."
Harry looked puzzled but agreed anyway. The door chimed two more times before it went silent.
"Tom, I thought things were going good between you two? Before the brig I mean."
"Yeah, well the Captain ruined that."
Harry ignored the last comment. "You should talk to him, I know he's really worried about you."
Tom sighed "Harry all I really want to do is go and lay down. You can stay if you quit nagging me."
Harry helped Tom off the floor, and back into bed. "Do you feel like going to the mess hall tonight?" Harry asked.
"Sure." Tom replied.
Harry reached down and picked up the bottle of scotch Tom had left by the bed.
"What are you doing?" Tom asked warily. That bottle had cost a lot of rations and he didn't want to lose it.
"I'm putting it in the living room. So if you want to drink more you have to at least get out of bed."
"Oh ha, ha." Tom replied sarcastically.
"Well I should be getting back to the bridge, what time do you want me to pick you up?"
"How about 1730? I should be alive by then."
"Ok. I'll see you then Tom."
"Bye Harry"
Harry left Tom's quarters and Tom let out a huge sigh of relief. He should have known better than to leave the bottle and hypo out where anyone could see it. They would just start to nag him some more, and he didn't think he could handle that.
Tom's world began to spin again. *Gods, I should have gotten Harry to replicate me a hangover hypo.* Crawling out of the bed again Tom replicated the hypo and injected it into his neck, letting go a long sigh of relief when the hypo took effect.
Stripping Tom went to the shower, the hot water pouring over his body an added relief. But the memories of last night's argument with Chakotay invaded his solitude. *Gods, Chakotay is going to want to discuss this one.* Tom thought. *I shouldn't have freaked on him like that. Maybe if I apologize he will let it drop. Yeah right, like Mr. Mystical Councillor would let anything drop. He likes to analyse everything to death. Well I won't be able to avoid him forever, not that I want to avoid him. Shit! Why does everything have to be so confusing?*
*Maybe I'll go fly some sims on the Holodec.* Tom thought to himself as he exited the shower. *Flying always makes me feel better, more grounded.*
"Computer is Holodec one available?" Tom asked while dressing.
"Holodec one is currently vacant," the Computer replied.
*Perfect.* Tom thought. "Computer put a reservation on Holodec one for two hours."
"Reservation confirmed."
Whistling Tom left for the Holodec, happily anticipating flying the sims.
Turning the corner Tom all but crashed into B'Elanna.
"Hey Helmboy, I heard you flew the coup." B'Elanna teased.
*Well this was a good sign.* Tom thought. *B'Elanna was teasing him, maybe she isn't mad at me after all.* "Yep, day two of freedom gorgeous." Tom answered shooting her his cocky flyboy smile that he knew annoyed her.
B'Elanna snorted is response. "So, what have you been doing to keep yourself busy?"
"Oh nothing really. Just this and that."
"Jeez Tom I thought you would have painted the ship red by now."
"Well I still have tonight. By the way what are you doing for dinner tonight?" Tom inquired. "Harry and I are meeting at the mess hall if you want to join us?"
"Sure, what time?"
"Around 1730."
"Great, I should really get back to Engineering, so I'll see you then.
Tom picked up one of B'Elanna's hand and gave it a quick kiss. "Till then fair maiden."
"Pig," B'Elanna said affectionately.
"I'm wounded," Tom replied as B'Elanna made her way down the hall. *Well that didn't go to bad.* Tom thought. *Now I have protection at dinner, Harry won't bring up what happened this afternoon in front of B'Ela.*
Tom was quite pleased with himself when he entered the Holodec.
**************************
"Come in," Tom shouted from the bedroom when the door chime sounded.
"You ready for dinner Tom?" Harry asked.
"Yep, I'll be right out."
Harry strolled around the room waiting for Tom.
"I'm ready," Tom said as he moved out into the living room.
"So what did you do this afternoon Tom?" Harry asked as they strolled to the mess hall.
"I flew some of the new sims that were programed into the Holodec. They were awesome Harry." Tom said excitedly. "Who programed them?"
"I think Chakotay did."
"Really, I'll have to thank him, they were really great. Oh, by the way, I invited B'Ela to dinner as well. Is that ok?" Tom asked.
"Of course it is." Harry replied distractedly.
Tom and Harry entered the Mess Hall to see B'Elanna already sitting at a table with Chakotay.
*Great* Tom thought as he and Harry moved through the Mess Hall line. *Oh well, no avoiding him now.*
Tom and Harry picked up their dinners and made their way to the table. After greeting the two sitting at the table Tom started to complain about his dinner. "What the hell is this?" he said as he motioned toward his tray.
"Tom please don't start complaining about the food. I missed lunch and I'm starving." pleaded Harry.
"Ok, Ok, I'll take mercy on you." Tom laughed. Turning his attention to Chakotay he asked. "Did you program the new sims on the Holodec?"
"Yes, I did. Did you try them out today?" Chakotay asked. Everyone knew about Tom's ability to program holograms and was interested in his opinion.
"Yes I did," Tom replied taking a bite of dinner and grimacing. "They were great, the sims really put your skills to the test," Tom complimented.
Chakotay grinned and looked over to Harry and B'Elanna and nodded.
"Tom you know were your friends right?" Harry started.
*Oh, crap here it comes.* Tom thought as he nodded and replied. "Right."
"You know were always here for you if you need anyone to talk to?" B'Elanna continued.
*Shit, now they have B'Ela after me.* "Of course I know that gorgeous." Tom replied with a smile.
"Tom were all worried about you." Chakotay finished. "We know that being in the brig was hard on you."
"Hey, no need to worry Big Man."
"Then why did Harry find you practically comatose with a bottle of scotch and a hypo by your bed?" Chakotay asked concerned.
Tom glared at Harry. "I think Harry over reacted. Look, how many times do I have to say I'm fine? You guys are starting to piss me off the way your after me all the time." Tom replied starting to get angry.
Chakotay reached out a hand to cover Tom's in a gesture of support. "Tom you haven't been acting the same since you got out......."
Tom snatched his hand back. "God Big Man, I've only been out for two days." Tom interrupted. He didn't like the way this conversation was going.
"Tom.." Harry started sounding concerned.
Tom jumped up from his seat. "Fuck, what will it take for you people to leave me alone. I'm fine, I don't know any other way to tell you. You obviously don't believe me, and frankly I don't care."
Tom's tone of voice started to attract attention from the rest of the Mess Hall.
"Tom, please sit down." B'Elanna asked quietly noticing the attention they were getting.
"No. I've just about had all the self-analysing crap I can take today. I'll see you guys later." And with that Tom left the Mess Hall.
"Well that didn't go very well." Chakotay muttered as he watched Tom leave.
"I knew cornering him wouldn't work." B'Elanna replied. "Give him some space, he'll come around."
"I don't know B'Elanna, you didn't see him this afternoon, he looked terrible." Harry stated. "He said that he wasn't worth worrying about."
"Maybe we should give him a few days and see how acts." B'Elanna suggested. "He might start feeling better after he starts working again."
Chakotay and Harry reluctantly agreed.
**************************************
Tom's entered his quarters cursing. "Fuck, why don't they leave me alone." Tom complained bitterly. "And where the �hell' did Harry put that bottle?"
Tom started rummaging around the room trying to find the bottle of scotch Harry had taken from his bedroom. *Who fucking needs them?* Tom thought angrily, but Tom unconsciously already knew that answer, he needed them. Tom found the bottle and flopped down on the couch, taking a long sip. Tom rubbed his face with his hands wearily, *I feel like my life is falling to pieces.*
Tom sat on the couch for the rest of the night and proceeded to drink the whole bottle of scotch contemplating how much his life sucked. He felt as if he had lost it all. Flying the sims this afternoon only made his longing to fly the ship even greater, but he felt he did not deserve the chance to fly anymore. *I'm just a pathetic excuse of a human being,* Tom thought miserably.
*Gods maybe I should go to Chakotay, maybe he can make everything all right again, make me feel whole.* Tom thought. Deciding on that action he asked, "Computer location of Commander Chakotay?"
"Commander Chakotay is in his quarters," the computer replied.
Tom stood up and promptly fell to the floor, the empty bottle rolling away from him. *Whoops Tommy Boy, I think you had to much to drink.*
Tom struggled to a standing position and made his way to the door. He stumbled all the way to the Commander's quarters and rang the chime, when there was no response he rang it again.
When the door opened he could hear Chakotay mumbling in the other room. "Who is it? It's 0200 in the morning, what do you want?" Chakotay stepped out of the bedroom wearing a robe that was hastily put on.
"I want you Big Man," Tom smiled as he stumbled toward the older man.
"Tom your drunk," Chakotay stated.
"Nah, just a little tipsy," Tom slurred as he reached out to caress the older man's arm. "Or maybe I'm drunk on love," he giggled.
Chakotay sighed and shrugged away from Tom, "What do you want, I don't have the patience for your games this early in the morning."
Tom backed Chakotay up to the wall "I want you to make love to me," Tom purred.
Chakotay pushed Tom away "Tom I told you before, I will not do this while your in this condition."
Tom pouted, "If you loved me you would."
"It's because I love you I won't" Chakotay replied trying to reason with Tom.
Tom freaked. "YOU DON'T LOVE ME!" he yelled as he rampaged around the room. " No one loves me, my father never loved me, the Maquis certainly have no love for me, the prisoners at Auckland hated me, even the Captain hates me now."
Chakotay was startled, he had never seen Tom rage like this before. "Tom calm down."
"FUCK YOU! Don't you tell me what to do," Tom yelled as he crashed into a desk. Tom's world started to go sideways, he gripped the desk like his life depended on it, but Tom's body betrayed him. Slowly Tom's knees started to buckle and he headed for the floor.
Chakotay noticed the younger man starting to fall and raced to his side catching him before his head could hit the ground. *Shit!* Chakotay thought, *he's passed out.* Chakotay picked Tom up and carried him into the bedroom placing him on the bed. Sighing he took Tom's boots and cloths off pulling the covers up over him. Sitting on the edge of the bed Chakotay brushed a few stray locks of hair off Tom's forehead. "What am I going to do with you?" Chakotay whispered to the man laying on his bed. Chakotay contemplated calling the Holodoc, but waved that idea aside, he would take care of the Pilot himself.
Chakotay sat and watched the younger man for a few more minutes, then got up and grabbed a blanket from the closet. Chakotay's instincts warred with him as he decided to sleep on the couch. He wanted to hold the younger man in his arms, to show Tom how much he loved him through that simple embrace. But decided that Tom probably needed his space, and that he wasn't going to feel all that well when he woke up. Falling asleep Chakotay promised himself that he was going to talk to the younger man in the morning, whether Tom liked it or not.
to be continued.......
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