REDEMPTION
Part 11/13
WARNING: Non-consensual sex, Rape scene if this bothers you please do not read any further.
Disclaimer: see part one. :-)
Tom sat on the edge of the bed pulling on the rest of his clothes while contemplating the counselling session he was about to attend. He really didn't want to go, but could not think of any way to get out of it. Sighing he looked at Chakotay who was also dressing. *My, My,* Tom thought as Chakotay lifted his arms over his head to pull on a t-shirt. Tom enjoyed watching Chakotay's muscles move with the motions of dressing. Wiping away a mental spot of drool Tom finished dressing.
Chakotay looked over at Tom seeing him gazing at him speculatively. "What?" he asked.
Tom smiled slightly, "Just appreciating the view Big Man."
Chakotay struck a couple of modelling poses causing Tom to dissolve into a fit of laughter.
"I'm glad I can be so amusing," Chakotay said smiling at Tom's amusement.
Tom continued to laugh, all most becoming hysterical. Chakotay sat on the bed beside him. "Nervous?" he asked thinking about the counselling sessions they were about to attend.
Tom sobered immediately, "Yeah," he replied while wiping away a tears of laughter. "It feels like my stomach is all knotted up."
Chakotay reached out and started to rub Tom's stomach. Tom placed his arms behind him and leaned back, letting Chakotay soothe his nerves. "Feel better?" Chakotay asked.
"A bit. I think I will feel better when this is all over with."
"That's the plan Tom." Chakotay said seriously.
Tom flashed Chakotay a quick smile. Looking over at the chronometer he sighed, "Well I guess it's time to go."
Chakotay stood first offering his hand to Tom. Tom gratefully accepted it. Rising off the bed he embraced Chakotay, "A hug for good luck," he said.
Chakotay held Tom close, kissing him chastely. Breaking the embrace he took Tom's hand again and together they left to go to sickbay for the session.
Stepping out into the hallway Tom took a deep breath of air to relax himself. The hallways were full of crew returning to their stations after lunch. Looking down at the floor Tom let Chakotay lead him in the right direction.
Chakotay looked over at Tom when he felt him stiffen slightly. Tom was looking down at the floor not watching where he was going. Chakotay was about to say something to reassure the young man when he heard Neelix's voice came out of no where.
"Tom. Chakotay. How are you?" Asked the happy Talaxian. "I have not seen you both in quite a while."
Tom flinched as Neelix came closer, trying to cover it up he stepped slightly behind Chakotay.
"We're fine," Chakotay said feeling the younger man's discomfort. "You'll have to excuse us though, we are on our way to an appointment."
"I see, well it was great running into you two. Tom I hope your feeling better," Neelix said as he left.
Tom felt his face starting to flame. "Does everyone know?' Tom asked quietly when they started to walk again.
"I don't think so, we tried to keep it quiet. Some people know you were in sickbay, but a lot of people just think it was stress related."
Tom smiled sardonically, "Yeah, well I guess that's kinda true."
Chakotay didn't reply, instead he squeezed Tom's hand in a show of support. Entering sickbay Chakotay nodded a welcome to the doctor.
"Mr. Tuvok is in my office waiting for you two. I will be running some tests if you need me."
The doctor watched at Chakotay lead an obvious gloomy Tom to the office, sighing he started his work again.
Tuvok motioned for the two men to sit when they entered the office. "Tom. Commander," he acknowledged.
Tom let go of Chakotay's hand and sat down solemnly, eyes locked on the floor.
"How are you feeling today Tom?" Tuvok started.
"Fine," came Tom's soft reply. Tom continued to look at the floor, clasping his hands nervously.
"Are the antidepressants working?" Tuvok asked.
"I guess."
Chakotay looked at the younger man wishing he could give him some of his strength.
"Mr. Paris, I would like to begin your counselling by talking about the nightmares you experienced while you were in the brig. Why do you think you had them?" Tuvok asked.
"I don't know why I had them," Tom said still refusing to look at Tuvok.
"What was the nature of the nightmares?"
"Oh, this and that," came Tom's vague reply he was starting to get very uncomfortable.
"Mr. Paris, you need to talk about your nightmares. Maybe they indicate problems from your past."
Tom started to dig at the skin beside his thumb. Could he talk about his past? He had always buried it before, but look where that got him. Sighing Tom said, "I dreamt about all the things I've fucked up in my life."
"Language Mr. Paris."
"Sorry."
"Now you said you dreamt about all the things you �messed' up in your life. What things might they be."
"You know," Tom replied.
"Enlighten me."
Tom started to get a bit agitated. "You know, I don't want to say them."
Chakotay reached over and stroked Tom's arm. "He's just trying to help Tom."
Tom looked briefly at Chakotay, trying to gain some of his calm. Looking back at the floor Tom said, "Alright, I screwed up at Caldik Prime, I screwed up in the Maquis, I screwed up in prison, I screwed up my relationship with my father. Face it I'm a screw up!"
"So that is what the nightmares were about, all of those experiences."
Tom got out of his seat, his stomach in knots, and started to pace the room. "Yeah, you could say that all of those experiences made for some lovely nighttime company."
Tuvok raised an eyebrow as Tom continued to pace the room. "And why do you think the nightmares came back to you in the brig."
Tom whirled around and stared at Tuvok, "You're the counsellor, you figure it out."
Chakotay could see that Tom was starting to become agitated. "Tom please come and sit down." Chakotay asked quietly while holding his hand out to Tom.
Tom looked at Chakotay and slowly took his hand, letting the older man guide him back to his seat. Sighing again he said, "I don't know why the nightmares came back, maybe because I had all that free time, or maybe because of being alone, who knows."
Tuvok watched fascinated in the way the Commander was able to calm Tom down. Putting that thought aside for the moment Tuvok asked, "Do you think it was because you were incarcerated again it brought back the memories of your time in Auckland."
"Maybe, I don't know."
"Do you remember what your nightmares were about? Do you remember certain people, events?"
Tom started to fidget in his seat. "I can't remember," he lied.
Tuvok picked up on the lie right away, "Mr. Paris, I can't help you if you won't talk to me."
Tom got defensive, "Well maybe I don't want your help."
"Tom we have to know what is making you feel bad in order to help you," Chakotay said reasonably
Tom took a couple of deep breaths, "The nightmares were different all the time, never the same twice. It was usually the same people and places but always in a different way."
"Who were in your nightmares?"
Tom looked away from both Chakotay and Tuvok, replying softly he said, "My father, Chakotay, my shuttle mates at Caldik, some prisoners from Auckland, Jus...." He couldn't finish the last name, it was the name of the man who raped him. Tom began to get lost in the memory.
///"Hey pretty boy, whatcha doing?" Justin said as he leered at Tom while he backed him into a corner.
"Leave me alone," Tom said roughly trying to break away from him.
"I don't think so pretty boy," Justin replied as he ran his hands over Tom's body.
Tom kicked up at Justin trying to break his hold on him.
Justin just laughed heartlessly and grasped Tom's face roughly in one hand, licking one cheek he said, "Don't fight it, you know you want it and it will go much easier on you if you co-operate."
Tom spit in Justin's face.
Justin backhanded Tom hard enough for Tom to see stars. When he came back to himself he could feel Justin trying to take down his pants.
"No!" Tom screamed.
Justin laughed cruelly as he continued to undress Tom, "Scream all you want baby, no one is going to come, except me that is."
When Justin had gotten Tom's pants down he reached into his own pants and started to pump his swollen cock. "Want to scream some more?" he asked as he kneed Tom in the stomach.
Tom doubled over with pain. Justin took the opportunity to drop his own pants. Grabbing Tom's head he brought it to his throbbing penis. "Suck it," he snarled.
Tom shook his head no, and Justin kneed him again, "Suck it, and if I feel any teeth I'll kill you."
Tom had no choice but to take Justin's penis into his mouth. Tears started to run down Tom's face as Justin began to fuck his mouth.
"You should be happy I'm thinking of lubricant," Justin moaned between thrusts. When he felt his dick had enough saliva on it he brought it out of Tom's mouth. Roughly turning Tom around he placed his dick at Tom's puckered entrance.
Tom started to thrash trying to get away from the man who was about to rape him. "No," he screamed over and over.
"That's it baby scream for me, I love it when they scream," Justin said as he thrust himself fully inside of Tom.
Tom screamed loudly and almost passed out, the pain was overwhelming.
Justin gripped Tom's hips tighter and began to pump inside the tight hole. The blood and saliva making it easier for him to glide in and out of his victim.
Tom couldn't believe this was happening to him. He had to get away before he went insane. Tom felt lightheaded, it felt like he was looking down at what was happening. It almost seemed like it was happening to another person.
Justin continued to pound into Tom, disappointed that the man was no longer screaming, that was what he got off on the most. Feeling the pressure in his balls come to a point of no return Justin shot his load deep inside his victim. His hips jerked a few more times in release as he settled his weight on Tom. Leaning over his victim he kissed Tom on the cheek, "See wasn't that fun?" he asked. Justin was disappointed when Tom made no reply. Withdrawing his shrunken penis from Tom torn and bleeding ass, Justin thought that the little whore wasn't worth it. Cleaning himself off and straightening his cloths he began to kick Tom.
Tom curled into a fetal position trying to deflect the blows. Justin stood above him calling him a worthless whore. Tom looked up when the kicking had stopped to see what Justin was doing. He was shocked to see Justin standing above him jerking off. His hand moving incredible fast over his renewed erection.
Justin had become aroused again when he started to kick the shit out of Tom. Reaching into his pants he began to pump his dick again, smiling when he felt himself getting hard. Taking his dick out of his pants he stood above Tom and began to jerk off, all he wanted to do was come all over the whore laying on the floor.
Tom closed his eyes, praying that Justin wasn't going to rape him again. He opened his eyes when he felt something splash against his face. Looking up in horror he saw Justin coming all over him, his semen splashing everywhere. When Justin was done he placed his dick back in his pants and leaned down to Tom and whispered, "That's all you deserve slut, after turning me on and being such a lousy lay." Justin gave Tom a couple of parting kicks and left him on the floor to suffer alone in silence.///
"Tom? Tom!"
Tom leapt out of his chair when he felt the hand on his shoulder. "Stay the fuck away from me!" he screamed as he launched himself away from the imaginary attacker.
Chakotay drew his hand back quickly, shocked at Tom's response.
Tom began to pace the room the memories overwhelming him. Grasping his head in his hands he chanted softly to himself, "No, no."
Tuvok stood up and went over to Tom, placing a hand on his arm.
Tom violently wrenched away from the touch, "Don't touch me!" he shouted as he ran from the office.
Chakotay and Tuvok stared at each other in shock, not knowing what had caused the younger man's violent reaction.
The doctor walked into the office, "What happened?" he inquired, "Tom just ran out of here like a bat out of hell."
Tuvok looked at the doctor, "We were discussing his nightmares, he was listing the people in them when he suddenly zoned out."
"He started saying a name but couldn't finish it. Jus.., something I think" Chakotay replied still shocked.
"Well his blood pressure just shot up and he's tachycardiac, we have to find him, and possibly sedate him" the doctor said.
"Computer location of Tom Paris," Chakotay barked to the computer.
"Tom Paris is in his quarters," the computer replied.
The colour drained from Chakotay's face, "Oh shit."
"Chakotay I suggest we go find him," Tuvok started, but Chakotay was already out of the room.
The doctor and Tuvok quickly exited following the upset Commander.
********************************************
Tom raced out of sickbay and automatically ran back to his quarters, tears streaming down his face. He remembered the rape like it was yesterday. *Justin's right I am a whore.* he thought.
Entering his quarters he went over to the replicator, "Scotch," he barked.
"Unable to comply," the computer responded.
"Give me some fucking scotch now, you fucking piece of crap," Tom yelled.
"Unable to comply," the computer responded again.
Tom picked up a chair and smashed the replicator panel with it, "Unable to comply this," he screamed.
Walking into the bedroom Tom sat between the bed and the wall, drawing his knees up to his chest. He remembered the last time he sat here. *I wish I had died,* Tom thought despondently.
Tom laid his head down on his knees and began to cry hysterically.
**********************************************
Chakotay ran down the hallway to Tom's quarter, Tuvok and the doctor following closely behind.
Barely stopping Chakotay entered Tom access number and entered the quarters, immediately noticing the smashed panel. Hearing Tom sobbing in the bedroom he thought, *He's alive.*
Entering the bedroom his stomach lurched. Tom was sitting in the exact place he tried to kill himself. Padding softly over to Tom he knelt in front of him, vaguely aware of the doctor's and Tuvok's prepense. "Tom?" he began as he placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
Tom jerked back away from Chakotay, "Don't touch me, I'm disgusting, I'm a whore." Tears were streaming down Tom's face and he looked like a broken child.
Chakotay felt a lump form in his throat, "No Tom you're not. You're a kind loving man who I love."
"Don't say that," Tom said harshly back, "you don't know what I am, what happened to me. You would hate me if you did."
"I could never hate you Tom, I love you."
"No!" Tom screamed, "you can't love me, you won't love me when you find out."
"Find out what?"
Tuvok and the doctor watched the exchange between the two men with concern. The doctor began to prepare the hypospray he brought with him. Tom was obviously going to need it.
"No, I can't tell you," Tom whimpered.
"You can tell me anything Tom, I will never hold it against you."
Tom laughed bitterly, "You'll be sorry if I tell you, it will make you a liar when you leave me."
Chakotay felt the doctor creep closer to him and Tom, with the hypospray in hand.
"Tom, I'll never leave you."
Tom suddenly jumped up and pushed past him, leaping onto the bed, "Fine, you want to know? I'll tell you," he screamed, "I WAS RAPED IN PRISON! Are you fucking happy now?"
Chakotay felt like someone kicked him in the stomach. He watched in shock as the doctor placed the hypospray to Tom's neck and Tom collapsed on the bed.
The Commander sat back in shock, his face deathly pale. *Tom was raped, Oh my god, Tom was raped.* he thought. This was the one thing he never thought happened to Tom.
Tuvok walked over to Chakotay and offered his hand.
Chakotay grasped his hand and stood up while the doctor activated an emergency beam out for Tom and himself.
"Commander has Tom ever mentioned to you just how bad it was in prison?" Tuvok asked.
Chakotay smacked his lips, his mouth suddenly dry, "No he didn't, he mentioned that he was in the usual prison fights but not this."
Tuvok nodded, "I believe that Mr. Paris is going to need extensive therapy."
Chakotay nodded his agreement, "Can we keep the rape to ourselves?" he asked thinking of ways to protect Tom.
"Yes, I do not think anyone else needs to know, not even the Captain."
Chakotay sighed thankfully as he and Tuvok left Tom's quarters to go back to sickbay, wondering how they were going to help the young man in sickbay who was hurting so much.
to be continued.......
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