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30th July 2002

The nightmare has officially started again. I sit here with swollen eyes typing out the nightmare that had gone on just a few hours ago. Lethargy seems to drag me from the inside, a hallmark of bad sleep. The day looks gloomy as a huge cloud looms above the skyscrapers of KL city. It has been such a long time since I last woke up this near to the city and once again I am reminded of the sounds of morning traffic, and exhaust tainted oxygen. This place however seems to be hidden from the hustle and bustle while still having a good look at it. Think of it as a traffic police being hidden away in the bushes. 

Back to the story. I am beginning to think that it is an annual occurrence where I get kicked out of the house. Last night after a session of lewd accusations and more alleged crimes of slag-ism yours truly was once again put on the streets. This time with no grandma’s house to run to. Perhaps July has a way of screwing things up. NB: Do not be in KL during July at any point.

Makes me wonder where my fault is at this time. Or can I cleanly blame this on her? I’m up to my ears in problems as it is, and more from her is definitely not something I need to remedy this. Many of you might want to say that she does what she does out of love, but think for one second what you would see of it I were a mere cat on the street (pun much intended) minding my own business and here comes this person who decides well she needs to bat you with a stick for your own good. Makes me wonder if you ask me. So anyways back to the conundrum of false accusations. As of today, I’m newly christened the ‘girl who wrecked her friendships and the girl who screws up her friend’s sons’.  Wow this suddenly sounds like a high school bitch fight. And to add paparazzi glitz and glamour to it, I have allegedly been spreading rumours about her gambling, smoking (which she does anyways, the world ain’t blind) and drinking. All that’s needed to round it up would be a guy snatch (which in this case would be my dad, yergh!) Oh wait a minute, she has gone there! Yeah jealousy over why I choose to tell my dad things and not her. Well take a hint for god’s sake woman. And oh the best of all… the funniest of stories, she thinks shoving Aaron’s name at my face was gonna make me feel ill or that it’d break me. And the woman hasn’t learned still. Sometimes I think she’s the one that can’t get over him. Cor! Either that she has no comprehension that moving on means to forget and void oneself of all feelings i.e hate, lust, love, jealousy and the works.

Crashing at a mate’s place and waking up with eyes so swollen you can’t even open them is not my idea of starting the week. And they say Monday’s bad, they must not have seen my Tuesday.

The air cond dudes are here to clean the oldest air conditioner I have seen to date. Or at least it looks older than it might be. Either the air cond reeks of pungent pee like smells or the rusted iron the dude has just bzz-ed off smells like it. Either ways, not a pleasant smell to add to this insane morning.

I remain planted on this seat while Tricia and CQ travels from across town to come pick up this poor homeless Kat. Questions remain ever so apparent with term dates so close by and hell seems to have broken loose again for the kabillionth time. Will I go back to school?  Could I use this to back my need to get out of here? Oh and someone please answer me, how the hell am I gonna break it to them when the organisers ring up asking me to pack up and check in?? Help.

I feel migraine lurking by. Creeping slowly into this fragile head of mine. Lack of oxygen induces migraine, stress and incessant weeping ala 3 year old causes migraines and then there’s my mom that is the migraine of the day.

Sometimes I wonder if they found me in the bin… If perhaps I am da original dustbin baby. I reckon Isabelle aint half wrong, since neither of them two were there to see when I was born. Gawd… fumes from fresh paint must be getting to me.

11.15am, Tricia aint here yet. And I haven’t rang my client to tell him I can’t deliver today and possibly in the next few days. I think what someone told me last night is true, I’m no kid, neither am I a full adult in my own rights. For god’s sake I don’t even turn 21 till October. And no I think it’s rather unfair Britney Spears decided that not a girl not yet a woman be the title to her song. She’s got her millions, house and car. She can walk off and not worry about her bank account while you’ve got ‘not a kid not yet an adult’ me here wondering when my next pay will come in. I am considering to tell my client to just refund me my travelling expenses for this month. I don’t feel I’ve done much although I owe at least 2 strands of grey hair each day to this project.

I take a look outside and the tress look lovely, foliage. Leaves are arranged on branches to mimic canopies. Alright now Kat, too much paint fume again there.

 

I ought pack up now, they should be arriving soon and I don’t want them to wait after having come all the way.

If there’s any sentence I could use now it’d be God Save The Kat.

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