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18th September 2002

 

As if my life isn’t already full of drama, big brother up there decides to inject today with a just a bit more.

 

First I’m forced to make the biggest decision of life by morning. This has got to be the most nerve wrecking/ daunting thing I’ve been made to do since… since… well let’s just say this is big like.

 

Secondly, as always when you’re in a massive rush, just somehow you’ll either a) run into traffic b) find no cabs available on the busiest street in the neighbourhood c) run into a boo boo on the tube. Well guess what? I scored all three. Oh lucky me… getting on the wrong side of the line was just classic, without thinking I subconsciously walked right up the platform I normally take when I get off work. Except that I’ve quit working at Sentral for months now.

Also, I’ve found a sudden inclination towards Chinese songs. Don’t even give me that eye. And if that doesn’t make me smell ah lien, I’ve also realised humming to every Chinese song being played by the cd pirates on Jalan Alor totally not a problem. I think it’s time I remove myself from this city. Which brings us to the very next issue – removing myself from this city.

What am I going to do? Shall I stay or shall I go? With half of me mates (inclusive of me housemate – for obvious reasons) asking me to go back and while the other half (who are obviously still in KL) asking me to stay, what am I supposed to do? Even if I’m not taking their convincing and such into consideration (but I love you guys still really), making a decision is still difficult, as it seems to take more self-convincing than I think it does.

So lets weigh the pros and cons. With my staying back, it’ll be familiar faces (not all whom I want to see), warm weather (wake boarding and tanning!), a car (so much for environmental concerns), an apartment (whoopee), a job (part argh part whoopee) and a crabby degree of some sort that will prolly be shit ass easy to get thru which also will coincidentally have no academic value (especially if it’s from a certain Lim Kwok Wing inst or the likes – no offence sweeties).

If I leave…A room of my own which is right next to the kitchen (ahh), a german Shepard/kitten from the spca, stupid little year 2’s for me to step on (muahahaha – making it easier for me to nab that grant), peace to my poor soul and the eardrums of its physical being, cheap turntables, a kitchen that I can properly cook in and who knows what else will come with me moving locations. After all, my one-year back here has made so many things possible for me (and impossible).

For someone adamant towards a gamble free environment, this has to be the biggest gamble of my life. If I fuck up, I’ll never hear the last of it. If I make it I’ll step on the faces of all them aunties and the likes with petty mouths and brains. Looks like meditation and Buddhism has not much an impact on me in terms of hate and anger management. RWOARRR!!!

And if life isn’t hectic enough, I’ve got this food feature to sort out before this weekend. And there’s the damn wedding where I have to be ushering stupid guests at dinner, grrr. It’s already Wednesday for pete’s sake. And there’s the whole should-I-stay-or-should-I-go issue. And I haven’t even taken a break to head to out to anywhere!!! See what work does? Another reason why I should get away from it all. Oh man, Disco opens tomorrow… *slaps forehead* dammit!!! Another dent on the schedule!! This launch I have to be at no matter what. So here’s another double argh for the night. ARGH ARGH!

*Sigh* at times like these, I’m lucky to have been a greedy biatch and packed extra nasi lemak from Ampang earlier. =) The only thing that seems to remain unchanged in this topsy turvy world of mine – Nasi Lemak Boss.

 

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