It’s
almost 11am, and I’m sat here in my room for the second weekday running. This
headache doesn’t seem to want to budge and the fan seems far too strong.
Let’s not even talk about air conditioning yet. The throat’s a bitch each
time a yawn lurks by and my head remains heavy despite the hours of sleep I had
supposedly indulged in.
Anyways,
went for an audition. Can’t say I did particularly well. Never really can do
well in them casting session. May be well cuz I’m not made for the screen I
guess.
September
lurks closer. And as if with sudden turn of fate, I’ve been offered to return
to uni. And you would after months of tantrums and anger fuelled debates, joy
would be my middle name. Joyful as I am, I try to remain not as optimistic. For
with fewer expectations there are fewer disappointments. And somehow, I start to
miss the masses of things I’ve done here in this few trying months as well as
the people I’ve met. But then of course, none of them would want to see me not
setting out to ‘parang’ my own path in that jungle.
Over the weekend, I’ve come to a conclusion and also achieving a sense of relief that this certain person whom I have found comfort in merely looks at me as the little baby sister they never had. I say merely with gladness, not the merely with disappointment. For it is heart warming, to know that there are still people that enjoy your company for who you essentially are and not for what your physical attributes may be. And also I am happy to not have to leave the country once again with emotional baggage of the larger sort.
My mind runs into a muddled frenzy (is that possible?) as I try to mentally prepare for departure. These remaining few months will be for savouring and the best shall come of it. Running through my photo albums (not that I have a proper one) I realised that many a picture taken were often posed for. And as for the natural shots taken, well those are equally disastrous and fail to capture the feel for the moment.
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