The
ugliest thing after toads – depression. Tonight it hovers above me after the
longest absence. Like a discarded ex-lover, it begs to be let in for old times
sake. It’s lethal.
I don’t know if I’ve asked this before but is it possible to feel so lonely surrounded by so many?
Karen Carpenter continues to colour the nighttime silence with her crooning. Like weed it plainly amplifies emotions.
Before
the rising sun we fly
So many roads to choose
We
start out walking and learn to run
Sharing
horizons that are new to us
Watching
the signs along the way
Talking
it over just the two of us
Working
together day to day
And
when the evening comes
We
smile
So much
of life ahead
We’ll
find a place where’s there’s room to grow
Joy
becomes intoxicating and depression, like a malignant tumour, becomes lethal.
Is
it possible to be completely happy? And is it possible to be completely sad? And
it drives me insane that I’m forever spilling with questions that no one will
ever be able to answer on days like these.
Is stress
being created around me daily or am I creating stress for myself? A nagging
feeling in me says it’s the latter.
12th
November is here. Uni forms have not arrived. As if reflecting my dread of
participating in more actions that will solidify my stay here, the application
forms fail to show up in my mailbox. Am I just a brat that can’t see to any
other way but my way? The nagging feeling becomes a vigorous nod.
Depression makes everything written seem a little more melodic. Words flow faster and feel richer. It’s no wonder I’ve been writing rubbish lately.
Sleep might just be the cure for this late night and somewhat young morning as I suspect even the June bug is finding his efforts to shake the depression away near futile. Sleep cariad, and a good watering in the eye might just fix it.
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