Learning to Fly

Part 1

 

Jarod felt the tears begin to trickle down his cheeks as he stood and looked out of the window. He could hear the voices behind him, Michelle’s and that of her son, both of whom had been unsurprised by the news. Rebecca had already let them know. But it was the sound of their grief that was setting off his own. He fought against it for several long moments, trying to contain the pain that was gradually building up in his chest. He heard them get up to leave the room and turned to find that Parker was the only one there. For a long time they stared at each other before, finally, he held out his arms and she ran into them. Their tears mingled as they both expressed their shared pain.

 

“Jarod, can you hear me?”

 

He blinked several times and opened his eyes to look up into the dim light above him. A shape moved into the light, indecipherable in the faint glow and he squinted to try and make out the features. Gradually the light increased and he could see her shining brown eyes and long blond hair falling, as usual, over one shoulder.

 

“R…Rebecca?”

 

“Hi.” She gently stroked his cheek, sitting down beside him. “How are you feeling?”

 

”Um…” he looked around. “How should I be feeling?”

 

Her laughter was warm and she threw her head back in amusement, her hair glowing in the golden beams of fading sunlight that surrounded them. Looking down again, she placed one hand on his.

 

“Probably pretty good, really. No pain this time, like I promised.”

 

“Where…?” He looked around, finding himself lying on a bed in a room that seemed strangely familiar.

 

“You’re at home, Jarod. For the moment, anyway.”

 

“And what…happened?”

 

Her face became more serious. “You’ll remember. I’ll help you.”

 

“I don’t have to do it…myself?”

 

“Not any more.” She smiled again. “What do you remember?”

 

“Not a lot.”

 

“But you remember some things,” she said with certainty.

 

His eyes fell. “I remember you…”

 

“You remember me dying, yes. That was hard for you. I’m sorry. The two of us at once made it even harder.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because it was time, Jarod. For me, it was because I had nothing left to do.”

 

“And…Sydney?”

 

“Because he had done enough.”

 

“But – why then?”

 

“Do you remember me saying that sometimes there is no reason?”

 

He nodded.

 

“Well, this was one of those times.”

 

He nodded, before his eyes travelled once more around the room before he pulled himself up into a sitting position. It was the same as he had last seen it, even to the extent of his jacket being over the back of the chair that sat in front of his desk where he had placed it before lying down on the bed.

 

“Where…?”

 

“Like I said, Jarod, you’re at home. This is your house, remember?”

 

“How do you…?”

 

“I always knew.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

 

She laughed again. “You wanted me to come back into your life, dead, and tell you that you were about to die?”

 

“Well, maybe not.” His face slowly broke into a smile. “So, if you’re dead, does that mean I’m…?”

 

“I was wondering how long it would take you. Yes, Jarod.”

 

“But what are we still doing here? Isn’t there somewhere else?”

 

“Yes, there is.” She smiled in response. “And it’s wonderful. You’ll be so happy there. But first you have to remember.”

 

“Why?”

 

“So that you’ll understand when you get there.”

 

“And did you…was it hard for you?”

 

“Yes, I had difficulties. We sat in that room for a long time, trying to remember. It was even long enough for us to see you again.”

 

“Who’s ‘we’?”

 

She smiled again. “Jacob was there, waiting for us, just like I was here, waiting for you.”

 

He stood at the grave, the wooden cross now replaced by a headstone of marble that contained the engraved names. The money had come from the final downfall of the Centre and they had decided that it would be a fitting way to celebrate that event. Next to the double grave was a single one. The headstone was smaller and contained only the few facts that they had been able to find in the Centre’s records – a date of birth and a surname. All information about her past and the work she had done had been deleted years earlier. A third grave was only a short distance away. Looking over he could see her placing the roses gently on the new mound of earth. When it settled they would place the third stone there to remember the man who had died only months later, it seemed, of a broken heart.

 

“Angelo missed you a lot.”

 

“I know.” She smiled. “We were very grateful for what you did for him. He was, too, although he never got the chance to tell you.”

 

His eyes dimmed. “I…I always felt guilty…”

 

“Jarod.” Placing one hand under her chin, she forced him to look at her. “He was dying anyway. It was just that you were – if you want to put it like this – in the wrong place at the wrong time. That guilt doesn’t belong to you. The only person who should feel guilty about him is Raines. He was the only person who ever had any blame at all.”

 

His expression was pleading when he looked up again. “Promise?”

 

“He never blamed you. He was only every grateful for your friendship and the efforts you made to give him a new chance at life.”

 

“Even that failed.” Jarod allowed a tear to slip down his face.

 

“Only because he made the choice,” she admonished gently, wiping it away with a loving hand. “You can’t blame yourself for other people’s decisions.”

 

“And…is he happy?”

 

“Very happy now, and looking forward to seeing you again.”

 

“I will?”

 

“Yes, Jarod. After you remember, you will.”

 

He began to rise but she stopped him with a smile.

 

“You don’t have to hurry, Jarod. We have all the time we need. Infinity. That should be time enough, even for you.”

 

“Infinity…” he breathed.

 

“After a lifetime of struggle, yes. And that lifetime is short, compared to the time afterwards.” She reached forward, gently stroking the gray hair at his temples.

 

“You look exactly the same.”

 

She smiled. “You look the same to me, too, but I know that you looked older. We see people the way that we remember them best.”

 

“Remember…”

 

“Yes, Jarod.” She touched his hand. “What else do you remember?”

 

He watched her slowly walk through the doors, wearily pushing the luggage cart in front of her and turning away from him, heading for the taxis.

 

“Parker.”

 

She stopped and looked around, the sadness on her face vanishing as she saw him walking towards her.

 

“Jarod!”

 

He held out his arms, as he had several years earlier at Michelle’s house, and she walked into them, barely hiding her tears as she held him tightly.

 

“How did you know, Jarod?”

 

He smiled and gently placed his hand over her heart. “The same way I knew about everything else, Parker. The way she showed us.” He placed one hand on the trolley and left the other around her shoulders. “How are you?”

 

“It’s a long flight.”

 

“Your room’s ready for you.”

 

She looked up at him, smiling. “I was hoping you’d be here.”

 

“It’s been three years, Parker.” He bent down and kissed her softly. “How could I not be?”

 

“You never let it break.” There was a small smile on her face as she said this.

 

He looked down at her, her head at the same level as his shoulder. “How could we, Rebecca? It was the only thing you ever asked of us, after all you did to help us. We were determined not to.”

 

She smiled up at him. “He knew immediately that it had happened.”

 

“He was irate,” Jarod reminisced. “Especially when the Centre was destroyed. He wrote to her from prison…”

 

“And you intercepted the letter, to protect her.” Rebecca smiled. “I should tell you that she found it anyway, years later. But it couldn’t hurt her then. He couldn’t hurt her anymore.”

 

“Is he…there?”

 

“No, Jarod.” She shook her head.

 

“So there is a…hell?”

 

“Not exactly. The place where we’re going is where the people we want to see are. If you don’t want to see someone, you won’t. It’s that simple.”

 

He nodded, his thoughts drifting.

 

“It hurt you when she left.” Her voice was soft but drew his attention back. “But you knew she had to go. And that knowledge made her love you more than ever.”

 

“I know.” He smiled. “I know how she felt about me.”

 

“So you understood why she wouldn’t marry you.”

 

“Yes…” His voice was soft.

 

“Jarod, please. Don’t ask me.”

 

“Parker, I have to know.”

 

She sighed and got up, walking away from the table in their house. “I can’t marry you, Jarod.”

 

“Are you…there’s no-one else?”

 

“No. There’s only me.” She sighed and looked up at him, tears forming in her eyes and beginning to slide down her cheeks. “I couldn’t…”

 

He got up and walked over, placing one hand gently on her cheek. She looked up to meet his gaze and he nodded.

 

“I understand.”

 

“She knew that you did understand, although she never said so. It made it easier on her that you both remained friends and that it never caused enough stress to destroy that link.”

 

He nodded silently and turned his eyes down again.

 

“You weren’t surprised that she said no.”

 

“Not really.” He looked up at her. “I’d had three years to consider what she might say and my final feelings were that she would refuse.”

 

“And what would you have said if she’d asked you?”

 

His expression showed his surprise. “I never really thought about it.”

 

“I think you would have said the same.”

 

“Probably.”

 

“And for the same reason – you were just too close.” He nodded and she continued. “That connection would have meant that you stifled each other with what you knew. You needed the distance so that, despite what you knew of each other, you could have separate lives.”

 

“But we still shared a house…”

 

“For the times that either of you were there.” Rebecca laughed again. “I think it might be better described as time-share. When you were there, she wasn’t and vice versa.”

 

He smiled. “That sounds pretty accurate.” Stopping, he looked at her more closely. “You’ve changed.”

 

“I know. I had to. You can’t stay the same there. Not because the people change, although they do, but because all of the hardness and limitations are gone.” She smiled again. “You’ll see a difference in Sydney.”

 

Sydney.

 

Even eight years later, the pain was still there. He woke up one night, after dreaming that he was once more in that hotel room, and found himself again in agony. This time, however, it was his chest that seemed it was on fire and there was no nightmare accompanying it. This time it was real. He stretched out one hand for the phone that lay beside his bed, trying, at the same time, not to scream aloud as a shaft of pain shot through his chest and down his left arm. With his right hand reached out, fumbling desperately for the phone, and only succeeded in knocking the device off the table and under the bed, out of reach.

 

For a moment, arm still outstretched, he seemed to sway, until he overbalanced and fell, landing hard on the floor. The pain made him gasp, and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying to get away from it. He heard a noise and, as he opened his eyes, he could see her there with two men who lifted him onto a stretcher.

 

“Catherine told her daughter that one day that connection would save her life or yours,” Rebecca told him quietly, placing her hand gently on his. “She was right.”

 

“I would…”

 

“You would have been dead by morning. That heart attack was life threatening. If she hadn’t found you…”

 

He nodded. “I could feel how bad it was – I knew immediately what it was – but it never occurred to me to yell for help. Somehow, I knew she would come.”

 

He could hear the regular, high-pitched beeping and he opened his eyes to a blinding whiteness that, several seconds later, resolved itself into curtains. He was sitting half-upright in bed facing the screen of curtains. The beeping was coming from away to his left but he could feel a slight pressure on his right hand and looked over to find her sitting and watching him.

 

“Hi, Jarod.” She reached up to lightly stroke his cheek. “Rebecca couldn’t come so she sent me instead.”

 

He tried to smile and then realized that he had a tube in his throat. Reaching up, he was about to pull it out when she stopped him.

 

“No, Jarod. Leave it. It’s helping you breathe.”

 

He raised an eyebrow at her and she laughed. “I know, I know. You can breathe on your own. But if you have to then your heart will overwork and…” Her voice broke and tears filled her eyes. She picked up his hand and gently kissed it. “I was so scared that you were going to leave me.”

 

“She didn’t sleep until you finally recovered consciousness that day. It was five days before the doctor could say to her that you would definitely live. She went through mental anguish every minute.”

 

“I don’t remember,” he murmured.

 

“I know.” She placed one hand gently on his. “I’m filling in the gaps for you. But what do you remember about that time? What else?”

 

“I remember,” he smiled, “how much I hated that damned tube. I was so happy when they finally took it out.”

 

He slowly reached up one hand and brushed away the tears. “I’m still here, Parker. It takes more than that to get rid of me.”

 

She tried to laugh but choked. Gently she put up a hand and placed it on his chest, on top of the place where the bandages covered his stitches. He put his hand on top of hers and raised it to his face, kissing each finger gently before putting it back down.

 

“You have to have another operation tomorrow.”

 

“I know.” He smiled. “But I’m not afraid and I don’t want you to be either.”

 

“I’m not afraid of the operation, just what might happen as a result of it.”

 

“I don’t know for sure what will happen in the future but I hope…”

 

“Like she did.”

 

He nodded. “Like she did. I hope that I will still be here for a long time yet.”

 

“I hope so too.” Her eyes filled again. “I don’t know how I’d live without you.”

 

Jarod slid a finger down his chest, where the scar was hidden by his shirt. “Is that…?”

 

“Yes, Jarod.” She smiled gently. “That’s why I’m here now. You overworked your poor heart again and it gave up on you.”

 

“And why…isn’t she here?”

 

Rebecca moved over to sit beside him again. “Your connection with each other is strong. It’s so strong now, after all this time of building it, that one of you can’t live without the other.”

 

Tears filled his eyes and, even as they also came into hers, she laughed.

 

“What are you crying for? Remember, you’re dead too. Would you want her to go on living without you, or you without her?” Slowly he shook his head.

 

“So…where is she?”

 

“At the place where she died, Jarod. And, ironically, it was the place where she was born, too. She went back to the Centre to oversee the last of its destruction, to see it razed to the ground.”

 

“And how…?”

 

“You don’t want to know that.”

 

“I do!” He grabbed her hand as she tried to get up. “You always wanted to hide that sort of thing from me, but I have to know!”

 

Rebecca paused, loosening herself easily from his grasp. Finally, however, she turned and looked at him.

 

“She thought that she heard a voice inside the building. She went inside to look, just as the explosion happened. It was very quick,” she added as she saw his eyes begin to fill with tears once more. “She didn’t feel any pain. She didn’t know anything until she saw her mother and sister there.”

 

“Faith?” He stared at her. “Faith went to her?”

 

“Yes, Jarod. We talked about it beforehand, about who would go where. Finally, we decided that this was the best.”

 

“So you knew…again.”

 

“I’ve always known, Jarod. Even on the day I died, I knew when you would die.”

 

“Your curse again.”

 

She nodded and came back to sit beside him. “When I wrote that letter, I thought about telling you, or leaving some hint of what I knew. But, when it came to it, I couldn’t. It would have been too hard. Besides, I learned during my lifetime that I couldn’t change what happened. I just had to let it occur.”

 

“Can I see her?”

 

“Soon, Jarod. I told you, we have lots of time. We still have to remember a few more things first.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“Like when you saved her life. Do you remember that, too?”

 

The heat coming from the car was intense but he could hear the screams as well, screams of pain. Setting his teeth, he reached an arm in through the open window and opened the door from the inside, yanking on the belt until it gave and then pulling her free, beating at the flames with his bare hands. When they were finally out, he bent over her, gasping for breath but still checking her, trying to find out if she was alive and ignoring the pain of the burns on his skin. As the others reached him, he finally felt the faint pulse under his fingertips and soft breath on his cheek as she exhaled. Then the hands, gentle but firm, were pulling him away so that the ambulance officers could take his place.

 

He stared down at his hands, turning them over and looking at all of the fine lines and scars that were there, reminders of that day. She reached over and covered his hands with hers.

 

“Don’t look at them anymore, Jarod. When we leave here, they’ll be gone.”

 

“Really?”

 

“You know I wouldn’t lie to you.”

 

He nodded. “And she…will her scars be gone too?”

 

“I told you, you’ll see her as you remember her best, and that was the way she was before the accident. But all of the scars that a person gains in a lifetime vanish when the lifetime is over.”

 

He looked up at her. “Mental scars too?”

 

“Yes, Jarod. Mental scars too.” She placed her hand softly on his cheek, looking up at him out of glowing eyes, full of promise. “No more nightmares, ever again.”

 

He looked up from the bandages that were being applied to his hands to see her rolled past him on a stretcher. If hands hadn’t held him in place, he would have jumped up and followed.

 

“Just a few more minutes. They’ll settle her into bed and then you can go in and see her, Jarod.”

 

When he finally could go, he froze outside the window and stared in at her body on the bed. A person appeared beside him, stethoscope around her neck.

 

“Jarod?”

 

He looked down in shock, instantly recognizing her.

 

“Pam?”

 

“It’s been three years since we worked together, Jarod. I’m impressed that you remember.”

 

“You knew me.”

 

“She’s asking for you.”

 

“You mean, she’s…?”

 

“Yes, Jarod.” The doctor reached out and touched his shoulder. “She’s awake and fully conscious, and with a few months of intense therapy, she should recover almost fully. You were quick, Jarod. If you hadn’t been, she might not have been so lucky.”

 

“That was the worst nightmare,” he spoke quietly. “I never thought that, after the Centre was destroyed, I could have nightmares that bad again but I dreamed for months afterwards about that accident.”

 

“I know. And it was hard. But you saved her, Jarod.”

 

“I couldn’t live without her.”

 

“Parker…”

 

She opened her eyes and looked up at him, tears slipping from the corners as her eyes traveled over his face. Gently he picked up her hand, mercifully unburned, and held it in his.

 

“You’re hurt.”

 

She spoke the words slowly but he could see the pain in her eyes at the thought that he had suffered.

 

“I would have been more hurt if you were worse, Parker.” He brushed the tear away, allowing the bandages on his fingers to absorb the moisture. “I would have been devastated if you had been worse. This,” he raised a hand and wiggled his fingers. “This is nothing.”

 

“And…was anybody…else…?”

 

“No, Parker. The car went into a tree. There was nobody else involved except you and your car.”

 

“And…you knew…”

 

“I just wasn’t too late, Parker.” He smiled. “And that’s the most important thing.”

 

“I never believed it when you said how bad it was, to be too late, until I nearly was.” He looked up at her.

 

“It’s the worst kind of guilt,” she said quietly. “Because you know that there’s nobody else that can take the blame.”

 

“And…did Jacob…?”

 

”He forgave me,” she responded. “But it took me a lot longer to forgive myself, in the same way that Sydney could never forgive himself. I think we both still have moments where we wonder…”

 

They sat silently for a little longer before she spoke again.

 

“You were a good nurse, Jarod. Her recovery would have been a lot slower if you hadn’t been there.”

 

“She said the same thing to me.”

 

Rebecca nodded. “But you still felt you had to leave.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Why? Tell me.”

 

“It was like you said – we knew too much about each other. I could tell if she was in pain or uncomfortable. In the end, it began to get too much for us both.”

 

“Where will you go?”

 

“I don’t know, Parker.” He looked from her to the bag. “But I’ll find somewhere and settle down for a while, just like I used to.”

 

“Nobody’s chasing you now.”

 

“Please, Parker.” He took her hands in his. “You know why I’m going. It was the same reason that you went away for so long.”

 

She nodded slowly. “I’ll miss you.”

 

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a mobile phone, handing it to her.

 

“My number’s programmed into it. You can call whenever you want. Or email.”

 

“But you’ll come back…?”

 

“Of course I will, Parker.” He placed his hand on her cheek. “I couldn’t stay away. That’s why I’m leaving.”

 

“A confused statement,” Rebecca smiled, “but she knew what you meant.”

 

“I know she did.” He looked down at his hands again, one finger lightly tracing the small lines. “That conversation replayed itself over and over in my head, almost the whole time that I was away.”

 

“Seven years was a long time.”

 

“Coming back didn’t feel right until then.” He tried to justify it to her, as he had tried to justify it to himself.

 

“I know.” She paused. “And do you remember what happened when you did finally come back?”

 

He opened the door of the house quietly, placing his bag in the hallway and turned to close it. Looking over his shoulder, he saw her standing there. A few grey strands shone in her dark hair, illuminated by the light above her head but otherwise she looked no different.

 

“Jarod…”

 

She choked over the word and he walked slowly towards her. Several paces away, he stopped, unsure of what her reaction would be.

 

“Hello, Parker.”

 

She threw herself into his arms and he held her for a long time, neither speaking but each silently crying away the pain of the seven years. Finally she looked up.

 

“I missed you.”

 

“I missed you, too.”

 

He blinked several times and then looked around the room, staring hard at each surface before looking at her.

 

“What…?”

 

“It’s fading away, Jarod. The world that you’ve lived in is contained within the place that we’re going to. As you remember more about your life, that world will fade and be replaced by our destination.”

 

“And how long…?”

 

She laughed again. “You always did have an obsession with time. But time is immaterial now. Our conversation is immeasurable. It could have taken a few seconds or a few centuries. Who knows?”

 

“But…what will it be like?”

 

“Why don’t you wait and see when we get there? I’m sure you can be patient until then.”

 

“You never were very patient, were you, Jarod?”

 

Her voice came from behind him, teasing him, and he turned to face her. She shrieked and he could feel her moving away.

 

“Don’t move! If you knock over the…my surprise, I’ll kill you!”

 

“A-ha!” He laughed. “You nearly told me!”

 

“I know I did.” He could hear her placing something on the table in front of him and it was only with difficulty that he restrained himself from tearing off the blindfold to see what it was. Impatiently he tapped his fingers on the wooden surface and heard her laugh in his ear.

 

“Patience is a virtue.”

 

“It’s not mine…or yours either,” he responded quickly, “so don’t you start trying to be hypocritical!”

 

She laughed again. “All right. Are you ready?”

 

“Ready?! If you don’t take it off soon, I’ll tear it off myself!”

 

He could feel her hands fumbling with the material at the back of his head and finally it slipped away. He looked at the object in front of him and then back up at her, frustration evident in his eyes.

 

“My computer.”

 

She laughed and leaned forward, touching the keyboard. He watched as the black screen dissolved and the faces appeared.

 

Tears sparkled in his eyes. “That was the best birthday present she could have given me.”

 

“I know.” Rebecca smiled before becoming more serious. “And it was just in time too.”

 

He grabbed her hand. “Tell me, how long was it? We only found out that they’d been killed more than a year later.”

 

“It was just a few weeks, Jarod. A few short weeks before Lyle found them.” She heard the breath hissing from between his teeth and he got up from the bed and walked over to the window.

 

“Why?” He turned to face her and she could see the tears on his cheeks but his face was calm. “Why on earth, after ten years, did he decide…?”

 

“He’d spent the whole time building up anger against you and your family. When he got the chance to escape, he saw it as the opportunity to act on his anger. So he found them and killed them.”

 

“And then what happened?”

 

She sighed but looked back up at him. “I didn’t want to have to tell you this, but I will because it will help you to know.”

 

Walking over to the window, she took his hands in hers and turned him to face her. “Lyle left the house immediately. He was coming to find Parker next and then, finally, you. He had a Polaroid in his hand – he’d taken photos of what he’d done so that he could prove to you that it had happened. But the flashes and muffled screams had alerted a neighbor. She called the police. They were waiting for him outside.”

 

She watched the tears run down his face, not attempting to comfort him until the whole story was told.

 

“When he saw them, he began to run. Not because he was afraid of them, but because he hope that, if he could avoid them, he could get to the two of you before they found him. He didn’t stop when they ordered him to…and he was shot at by a number of officers simultaneously. He died several hours later.”

 

“Was he in pain?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Good.”

 

“Jarod.” She wiped his cheeks with her hands. “I’m not telling you this so that you’ll be angry or full of hate. I’m telling you because you need to know what happened. You will lose the anger anyway, so let it go now.”

 

“I can’t, Rebecca.”

 

“Even though they’re happy now, and waiting for you?”

 

“Were they in pain?”

 

“No, Jarod. He killed them…humanely, if there is such a notion.”

 

“Then why…?”

 

”The screams were from fear, because they knew what he would do. But they died quickly and painlessly. I promise you.”

 

She held his face in her hands, wiping away the tears that continued to fall from his eyes. Slowly he sank to his knees on the floor and she lowered herself to be on the same level.

 

“Jarod, there’s still things to remember. We aren’t finished yet. And it’s easier from here on. That was the hardest, I promise.”

 

“I…can’t…”

 

“You have to. There’s no choice. Your life was so full, Jarod. You can’t expect it all to be good. There are bad parts as well.”

 

“Like the Centre.”

 

“But the pain of that faded. Do you remember?”

 

He sat on the sofa, staring up at the calendar on the wall. She had crossed off the days as she always did, marking the end of one period and the beginning of another. But something about this day was familiar. He just couldn’t place
it.

 

“What is it?”

 

He heard her come in and she sat beside him.

 

“I can’t remember.”

 

“What, Jarod? What can’t you remember?”

 

“The important event that happened today. Every other year…”

 

She looked up also and then back at him. “It was the Centre, Jarod. This is the thirtieth anniversary of the day that you first escaped from the Centre.”

 

“How did I forget that?” He turned to her, his face wearing an expression of shock. “How could I possibly have forgotten?”

 

“Because the rest of your life, after the Centre was gone, had so much of an impact that it drove your memory of that time away. It became more important than always trying to remember what they did to you. That was why, when you lost the DSAs, it didn’t seem to matter.”

 

“Lost them?”

 

“Actually, no.” She nodded to the place on the wall where there had once been a cupboard. “Miss Parker put them up there, just after you went away. She was trying to hide them from her sight, because they reminded her too much of you and that was painful for her. You never asked about them again. One day, you thought about them briefly but eventually decided that they had simply been lost.”

 

“And why did she remember…?”

 

“Because it meant so much to her. She felt guilty for so long about the role she played in that pursuit. It’s been her biggest regret in life. You, having no need for guilt about being there, forgot it sooner than she did.”

 

“But I never forgot…”

 

She smoothed his hair with one hand. “You never forgot what you did to people, I know. The simulations were something that you couldn’t forget. But the pain of them eased over time. As it did for her.”

 

“It did?”

 

“She has no regrets anymore, Jarod. She knows that you forgave her.”

 

“I did, a long time ago.”

 

“When we were in that hotel room.” She smiled. “When you told her that you always knew it wasn’t her fault, that was the start of both her healing and your own. We, Sydney and I, would only have been reminders of that pain. Perhaps that was why…”

 

“I never think about that time anymore, Parker. Do you?”

 

“Sometimes.” She stared at the calendar while he watched her. “Sometimes I still dream about it.”

 

“Good dreams or bad?”

 

“What good was there in that place?”

 

He moved over next to her and held her in his arms. “There was our friendship, Parker. Surely that was something good…”

 

He looked up to find that they were no longer alone. He saw the figure standing behind her and felt the figure that was behind him.

 

“What…?”

 

“That’s it, Jarod.” She reached up and used the hand of the person behind her to rise to her feet. “You’ve remembered everything that you need to. Welcome to your new home.” She leaned over and kissed him gently on one cheek before helping him up.

 

“Jacob,” she turned to the figure behind her. “Is she…?”

 

He nodded. “Almost. There’s just time, before she comes.”

 

Jarod turned as the man behind placed one hand on his shoulder. For a moment the two looked at each other, neither smiling nor sad, simply remembering. But, as they embraced, Rebecca had to smile.

 

“What?” Jacob noticed and looked down at her. “What is it?”

 

“That’s the first time that they’ve ever…”

 

“I know,” Jacob interrupted.

 

She smiled at him. “You always did know, somehow.”

 

“Almost as well as you.” He laughed and kissed her gently. “You did well.” With a mock-curtsey, she acknowledged his compliment and he laughed.

 

“He was right. You have changed.”

 

“I know.” She smiled. “So have you. We all have.”

 

Jarod turned back to Rebecca, tears standing out in his eyes. Before he could speak, however, she took his hand and led him to the door. Opening it, she stepped through and he followed her out into what looked like a long hallway, at the other end of which stood another door. Slowly they began to walk towards it.

 

“What…?”

 

She smiled. “Just wait, Jarod.”

 

“I never liked waiting.”

 

“No,” she laughed. “I noticed that.”

 

They had almost reached the middle when the door at the other end opened and two figures passed through together, a third behind them. For a moment the group paused and then, as Rebecca stood aside, the other two did the same.

 

“Go on, Jarod.”

 

“Who…?”

 

“It’s her, Jarod. It’s Parker.”

 

“What…?”

 

“Yes, Jarod.” She gave him a gentle push. “I mean it. Go on.” He looked at her once, looked back at the figure, still some distance away, and then began to run towards it.

 

~*~*~

 

Rebecca’s eyes took in the far distant mountains as she sat in a chair on her balcony with her legs folded up underneath her and her chin resting on one hand. When the door behind her opened, she didn’t look around, knowing the identity of her visitor.

 

“Hello, Miss Parker.”

 

“I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that you knew it was me. You always did know.” Parker sat down. “But I thought, to quote you, that your knowledge stopped at all things earthly.”

 

“It does.” Rebecca laughed. “If our positions were reversed, you would have known.”

 

“I hope so.” Miss Parker smiled. “I always envied you your knowledge.”

 

“And I always envied the fact that you managed to find a place for yourself in the world.” Rebecca smiled in return. “But we don’t need to be jealous anymore.”

 

Miss Parker looked away for a moment, before looking back again. “Why did you come to Jarod and not to me?”

 

“Because we felt that your memories of Faith and your mother were stronger than those of me. You hadn’t forgotten me, but you remembered the others more often. And besides,” Rebecca laughed. “I couldn’t be in two places at once.”

 

“But why not Sydney, or…?”

 

“Because he didn’t want to.”

 

“Why not?”

 

The blond woman sighed. “The hardest parts of Jarod's memories had to do more with Sydney than with me. It would have been too difficult, too emotional, if Sydney had had to face them again. He had a bad enough time when he was remembering for himself.”

 

“Was that difficult…for you too?”

 

“Yes.” Rebecca’s face became serious. “I don’t think it’s easy for anyone. We’ve all done things in our lives that are painful to remember.”

 

“But now…?”

 

“Now we need only remember the good parts, unless we want to do otherwise.” She sighed. “And that’s the best thing about being here, to my way of thinking.”

 

“I think that’s right,” a male voice broke in.

 

Miss Parker looked up to see the newcomer in the doorway, but was hesitant to pronounce a name, fearing to get it wrong.

 

“It’s me, Parker.” He came and sat down beside her. “You’ll have to work out a difference between the two of us.”

 

“I’m surprised you don’t, Miss Parker.” Rebecca smiled, amused. “I wouldn’t have expected you to remember Sydney when he was younger. Or not as well as you did later in life.”

 

“I’m still…making up my mind.”

 

“That’s all right, Parker. You still have time.”

 

“How much?”

 

“How much do you need?” Sydney laughed. “You can have forever. Is that long enough?”

 

Miss Parker laughed also, stopping when Rebecca joined in. “I never heard you laugh before.”

 

“You never heard me do a lot of things before. Four meetings aren’t enough to establish that kind of knowledge. Especially as none of them was particularly cheerful, for any of us.”

 

“It was hard on you?”

 

“I was dying, Miss Parker. I knew that from the start. How easy could it be?”

 

“I…never knew.”

 

“You couldn’t.” She came over and knelt in front of the other woman, taking both hands in hers. “And I wouldn’t expect you to. So don’t waste your feelings on guilt here. There are so many better things to feel.”
 

Learning To Fly Part 2

 

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