Learning To Fly

Part 2

 

“You’re lonely, Rebecca.”

 

The blond woman turned to find Jacob on the balcony and sat down beside him, leaning her head against his shoulder. “You know me well.”

 

He nodded. “Better than you know yourself.”

 

“Perhaps that’s true.”

 

“So what are you feeling now?”

 

She rolled her eyes and stood up. “Please, Jacob, don’t try out your psychiatrist stunt on me.”

 

He laughed. “It’s a habit.”

 

“A bad one.”

 

“Only because you don’t want to talk about it.” He paused and watched her for a moment in silence. “Thomas found Miss Parker earlier.”

 

“I thought he would. I hoped he would.”

 

“They were never in love, you know.”

 

“Miss Parker and Thomas?”

 

Jacob smiled and shook his head. “Miss Parker and Jarod. They only loved each other. There’s a difference. A big one.”

 

“No,” Rebecca shook her head. “I know where you’re leading me, Jacob, and I’m not coming with you. I don’t want to go down that path. It’s…not right.”

 

She stood up and walked to the edge of the balcony, resting her hands on the railing and leaning over the edge. Suddenly she looked back at him.

 

“Did you ever wonder what would happen if you did something here that would have gotten you killed before?”

 

He smiled. “Often.”

 

“And did you ever do it?”

 

“I’ve never been game.”

 

“You don’t die.”

 

“Well, there’s a surprise!”

 

She laughed and looked up as she heard an echo of her laughter from the doorway to see Jarod standing there. He raised an eyebrow, stepping out onto the slate tiles.

 

“So what happens?”

 

“Want to try?”

 

He stepped backwards and raised both hands in the air. “Uh, no thanks.”

 

“Oh, come on. It’s fun.”

 

“Does it hurt?”

 

“I told you, Jarod – no more pain.”

 

“You even promised.”

 

“I keep my promises.”

 

She held out one hand and stepped up onto the railing. As he stepped closer to her, though, she leaned backward just that little bit too far…

 

He ran to the edge as she disappeared from view, his eyes searching the ground for her. Seeing nothing, he turned to Jacob in panic, his instincts taking over, forgetful of where he was.

 

“All right, Rebecca.” There was a severe tone in the older man’s voice. “That wasn’t funny.”

 

“Don’t be angry with me, Jacob.” Her voice appeared from nowhere and yet everywhere, increasing Jarod's mystification. “Please.”

 

“Where is she?”

 

Jacob pointed downwards and hid a smile. “Hiding. And if she doesn’t get up here soon…”

 

“You’re no fun.” A hand appeared on the railing and she pulled herself up, to perch on absolutely nothing and grumble at him. Jarod stared at her.

 

“How did you…?”

 

She smiled. “When I was a child, I dreamed of flying. When I first got here, I tried it and found that it worked.”

 

“And you can…?” His own voice was eager.

 

“I once told you we weren’t that different.” Her smile faded and her face took on a slightly sad expression. “We even shared our dreams as children.”

 

“And will you show me…?”

 

“You didn’t want to.” She lowered herself to the ground and began to walk across the balcony away from him. “I take you at your word.”

 

“Rebecca…” the older man began warningly.

 

“No, Jacob.” She shook her head. “He said he didn’t want to.”

 

“They would be perfect together.”

 

Sydney laughed. “Jacob, you’re trying to match-make for a pair of children.”

 

“She would be able to give him everything that he needs.”

 

“And he would hate the fact that Rebecca knew his weaknesses. That will be Jarod's problem for the rest of his life.”

 

“Still,” Jacob turned back to the form he was filling out. “I personally believe they would be perfect together.

 

“Rebecca?”

 

She rolled over on the sofa and looked up at the man standing in the doorway. “Hello, Sydney.”

 

“I just talked to my brother…”

 

Rebecca picked up a cushion and put it over her head. “Go away, Sydney.”

 

He laughed. “That’s not quite the reception I expected.”

 

”You got a welcome.” She looked up at him. “If you talked to Jacob, you should have known what reception to expect. I know what you want, and I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“First you and then him.” She groaned, throwing the cushion at him. “Can’t you both realize – I don’t want to discuss it. No whats, whys or wherefores.” She rolled off the sofa and got up, walking over to the doorway and stepping out onto the balcony.

 

“But I think you should.”

 

“I don’t care what you think.”

 

Sydney came out onto the balcony with her. “You used to.”

 

“No,” she corrected him. “I used to care what Jacob thought. You never really entered the picture, except in so far as he was part of it.”

 

The man watched her for a moment in silence, before speaking quietly. “He’s lonely too.”

 

“He can go talk to his family.”

 

“He has.”

 

“They’ve caught up already? I’m impressed.”

 

“Rebecca, please.”

 

“Sydney!” She turned on him, her eyes sparkling with an anger that she hadn’t remembered she could ever feel. “I was part of his life for less than two days.”

 

“And you made more impression on him than any other person he ever met.”

 

“He forgot me.”

 

“He wasn’t allowed to remember.”

 

“You made him forget.”

 

“Yes.” Sydney's admission was soft. “I did.”

 

“You made him forget because you couldn’t cope with what happened. And you couldn’t cope with me.”

 

“That’s true.”

 

“And now…” She choked and didn’t finish the sentence.

 

”You’ve been lonely ever since you got here, Rebecca.”

 

“I don’t even know what I’m doing here.” She looked around. “I had nobody who wanted to see me. Almost nobody even knows who I am. Or who I was.”

 

“We did,” Sydney volunteered.

 

“But you had your family…” She stopped, knowing she’d said too much.

 

“And you never had yours. That was what you regretted. And, ever since, you’ve been waiting for this, to find out if things would be different.”

 

“And things aren’t,” she snapped. “Things aren’t any different from the way they were before.”

 

“You know that’s not true.”

“Rebecca.”

 

The voice was a faint whisper but she heard it and buried her face in her pillow to escape from it.

 

“No,” she moaned. “Go away. I don’t want to remember you. I don’t want you to remember me.”

 

“Please, Rebecca. I miss you.”

 

“No.” She stuck her fingers in her ears and buried her head under her blanket, trying futilely to block out the sound that she could hear in her mind. “Go away, Jarod. You shouldn’t remember me anymore”

 

“Do you love me, Rebecca?”

 

“You shouldn’t remember me, Jarod. Not even in your dreams.”

 

“I miss you so much, Rebecca. Please come back.”

 

“I can’t, Jarod. We both know I can’t.” She hadn’t realized that she’d spoken the words aloud until she felt the blanket gently pulled away and looked up to see Jacob standing above her.

 

“That dream wasn’t so long ago.”

 

“No, Sydney. Please. I don’t want to think about this now.”

 

“He missed you badly, Rebecca. His link to Miss Parker wasn’t enough. He left to try and find somebody to replace you, but he never did. He searched the world for seven years and never found the right person.”

 

“He left because of their connection.” The words came through gritted teeth.

 

“But he stayed away because of you.”

 

“No!” The word was almost a cry.

 

“You saw him falling in love with her. You thought that she would love him back, but you hoped she wouldn’t and when she didn’t, you were happy.”

 

“Sydney, please.” The first tears began to slide down her cheeks. “Don’t make me remember this. It’s too hard.”

 

“You were happy,” he emphasized. “You were happy because you could keep hoping that she was still in love with Thomas. It was you, not her that watched over him when he had the heart attack. She slept and you stayed awake to watch because you couldn’t bear the thought of him being alone. She suffered but you suffered more. You changed history when you were talking to him today.”

 

“He doesn’t need me,” she mumbled.

 

“That doesn’t mean that he doesn’t want you.”

 

“Yes it does.” The words were forced out. “It means the same thing, or it always did to him. He only wanted what he needed. He never learned about excess.”

 

“You know that’s not true, Rebecca.”

 

“It might as well be.” She stood up. “I should never have waited for this.”

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“Somewhere. Anywhere. There has to be somewhere that I can – “ She stopped, again knowing that she had said too much.

 

“Somewhere you can forget him?” Sydney shook his head. “There isn’t anywhere you could go where you could forget him. Your whole life was focused around him. How can you be any different now?”

 

His brown eyes watched her, sparkling with expectation, but he remained silent for some minutes before finally speaking again.

 

“You’re even still jealous of her.”

 

“That’s not true,” she shot back.

 

“Yes it is, Rebecca,” he contradicted. “You’ve been jealous of her since the day they met. You were hurt by how quickly they forgot you, especially when they found each other.”

 

“If I’d been jealous of her, I would never have come to her after Catherine’s funeral,” she protested. “I would’ve stayed away.”

 

“No, you wouldn’t have.” Sydney shook his head. “Your sense of loyalty wouldn’t have allowed you to stay away.”

 

“It wasn’t loyalty.” She backed away from him into the corner of the balcony.

 

“Friendship, then.”

 

“No, not friendship either.”

 

“Guilt,” a new voice offered.

 

She looked up to see Jacob standing in the doorway and sank down to her knees on the tiles with a low cry. He came and knelt next to her, gently lifting her head, forcing her to look at him. “It was guilt, wasn’t it, Rebecca? You hoped that, by helping her, you would be able to make up for not saving me.”

 

She sobbed as she nodded. “Yes, Jacob. That was why I went back. I thought, if I put myself in as much danger as you were in, by going back to the Centre where I ran the risk of being seen by Mr Parker or Mr Raines, that it would make up for it.”

 

“But it didn’t.”

 

“No, Jacob.” Her tears ran over his hand and dropped onto the ground and he used the other hand to wipe them away. “It didn’t. Nothing ever did that.”

 

~*~*~

 

“His whole focus of life, for the last thirty years, has been her, not me. And now, suddenly, you can believe that he would change that focus.” She was facing them both now, the anger having risen again. “I’ve got news for you. It’s a lot harder than that to change a focus. I should know.”

 

“No, Rebecca.” It was Sydney who corrected her. “His conscious focus has been on her, because she was in front of him. But his dreams never focused on her.”

 

“What are dreams? The subconscious going for a short vacation.”

 

“The only pleasant dreams he had were about you,” Sydney stated. “The others, the nightmares, contained her. For that reason only, he could never have formed the sort of attachment with her that he formed with you.”

 

“The only attachment he formed with me was that, when he was in pain, he would remember me,” she mocked. “That’s not exactly healthy.”

 

“But it was what he needed,” Jacob told her calmly.

 

“He needed it then. He doesn’t need it now. He doesn’t need me now. He’ll never have pain again. I promised him that.”

 

“You broke your promise,” Sydney informed her. “He’s in pain now.”

 

“No…” she protested.

 

“Yes, he is, Rebecca. He’s in pain because of what you said to him, about him, earlier.”

 

“He said he didn’t want…”

 

“He changed his mind.”

 

She looked up, her eyes wet. “All he has to do is stand on the edge and jump. It’s not all that hard.”

 

“But he’s scared,” Sydney responded.

 

“Then go and comfort him. That is your job, Sydney.”

 

“I can’t give him the comfort he needs now.”

 

“And I suppose you’re going to tell me that I can?” Her voice was almost a sneer and she turned away.

 

“Yes,” he spoke firmly. “That’s exactly what I’m going to tell you.”

 

“No,” she shook her head again. “I can’t…”

 

“Because you’re afraid of what he’ll say. You’re afraid that he’ll reject you.”

 

She backed away once more into the corner, struggling to remain silent.

 

 “You used to call it a curse but what you knew then would be a blessing to you now, Rebecca,” Jacob suggested. “You’d know the right things to do and say. But you don’t, and that’s why you won’t try.”

“No…” The word was a whisper, full of pain and the tears she was fighting.

 

“I don’t want to hear this. Please.” She looked up at them. “If you ever loved me, either of you, please stop now. I can’t take it. It hurts too much. Please!” She sank down again, her face buried in her hands.

 

“It’s because we love you that we’re telling you all this.”

 

“I can’t bear it – I don’t want to know!” She stuffed her fingers in her ears to try and block out the sounds. When she looked up, her eyes were red.

 

“Please – go away. Leave me alone.”

 

The two of them looked at one another and then, at a nod from Jacob, Sydney rose and left the balcony. Jacob slowly got up out of his seat and walked over to her again, picking her up in his arms and carrying her into the room. There, as she sobbed, he laid her down on the sofa and gently began to stroke her hair.

 

“Rebecca…”

 

“No!”

 

“The guilt you felt about me – still feel about me – is what’s stopping you. You felt that, because of what happened, you didn’t deserve the chance to be happy ever again. That’s not true. It’s not right, either. We all deserve that chance. And we all have it. But you have to take advantage of what is offered to you.”

 

“The only people offering it to me are the two of you,” her voice was muffled in the cushion where she buried her head. “And you can’t offer me something that isn’t yours.”

 

“Not even if we know?”

 

“But you don’t know!”

 

“Yes, we do. I do.” He bent down and kissed her gently but she pulled backwards as though he had slapped her. “I only had to look at him today, when you went over the edge of the balcony, to know what you mean to him.”

 

She was sobbing convulsively now, the pain of her lifetime being poured out onto the cushion in which she was trying to hide from what he was telling her.

 

“All…I ever wanted…was…for him…to be…happy.”

 

“So you tried to make him fall in love with Miss Parker.”

 

“I didn’t…influence him…”

 

“But it didn’t work.” Jacob placed one hand on either shoulder and easily turned her over, pulling the cushion out of her grasp and resting her head on his lap. “It couldn’t work, because he was already in love. Even today, when he would have thanked you, when he had something important to say, you always brought the conversation back to her, keeping him focused on her.”

 

“She’s…important…to him.”

 

“So are you.”

 

“No…”

 

“Yes.” Jacob placed a hand on her cheek. “You’re just as important to him. He loves her, but he’s always been in love with you.”

 

She watched him as he lay there, tears pouring down his face, but lying still and not moving as he had before. She knew the pain that he was feeling but didn’t want to admit it, even to herself.

 

“It’s all right, Jarod.” Eventually, unable to bear it, she sat beside him and placed one hand on his cheek. “She’s safe.”

 

“You’re not.”

 

She froze, one hand still making contact with him, and then leaned forward.

 

“I’m happy, Jarod. Don’t dream about me anymore.”

 

“You’re not happy, Rebecca. You’re lonely. And I am too.”

 

“How did he know?” Her voice was a soft and pain-filled whisper.

 

“He knew because he was always in love with you, Rebecca. And that’s the strongest type of knowledge.”

 

“Why are you doing this to me, Jacob? Why are you torturing me like this? Don’t you love me anymore?” The tears filled her eyes once more. 

 

He held her in his arms, rocking her gently, trying to calm her. “Of course I still love you. I couldn’t help it. But this is important.”

 

“Why? To cause me the pain that I never suffered in life? I promised him today that he’d never feel pain and, if I wasn’t here, he wouldn’t feel it.”

 

“He would search everywhere until he found you,” Jacob assured her lovingly.

 

“He’d never find me.”

 

“Yes he would. His determination – his love for you – would mean that he would find you. He has all infinity to look for you, remember.”

 

“I have all infinity to hide in.”

 

“And, while he searched, he would regret ever coming here. He would begin to regret the day that he ever saw you. And then he would hate you, even as he still loved you.”

 

“And that would be the best thing he could do.”

 

“Hating you?” Jacob’s face wore an expression of amazement. “No, Rebecca, it wouldn’t. It would poison him and that would ruin his chances at happiness.” He leaned forward. “Would you really want that?”

 

“Not…for him.”

 

“Would you want it for yourself?”

 

“It wouldn’t…make any difference.”

 

She sat and watched him, half-sitting up in the bed, his eyes closed and the many machines keeping him alive. Looking over, she could see Miss Parker sitting beside the bed, her eyes closed, her head on the mattress and her hand resting gently on his. A spasm of pain crossed her face and she walked over, placing one hand on his cheek.

 

“I’m sorry, Jarod. You have so much more to go through.”

 

“Take me with you.”

 

She could hear his voice in her mind and shook her head.

 

“No, Jarod. You have to stay here. You have much more to do.”

 

“Please, Rebecca, I want to go with you.”

 

“You couldn’t leave her here, alone.”

 

She watched as a tear eased out from under his eyelid and slowly slid down his cheek. Gently she brushed it away.

 

“Do you love me, Rebecca?”

 

Jarod lay on the bed in his room, hands linked behind his head, staring up at the ceiling. When the door opened, he looked over to it.

 

“Sydney…”

 

“Hello, Jarod.”

 

The younger man rolled over and stared out through the window. Sydney came and sat down next to him, one hand gently stroking the back of his head.

 

“Jarod, you’re not happy.”

 

“I am!” he protested.

 

“No,” Sydney smiled sadly, “you’re not. But you don’t have to be, if you don’t want to.”

 

“She said…”

 

“Just because she said it doesn’t mean that it’s true. You can suffer pain here too, as well as happiness.”

 

“I don’t know what I feel,” Jarod extemporized.

 

“You’re lonely.”

 

“She promised…” The words were a whisper.

 

“She tried. She didn’t want you to be in pain anymore. She hoped you wouldn’t be, but she didn’t know.”

 

“And is she…?”

 

“No, Jarod.” Sydney looked down at him. “She isn’t happy either.”

 

“Why?”

 

“She missed you.”

 

“I missed her, too,” Jarod murmured.

 

“I know.”

 

“Does she?”

 

“Yes, Jarod. She knows.”

 

“I used to dream about her.”

 

“You said to her that all your dreams were bad.”

 

“Only the ones where she wasn’t there.”

 

Sydney smiled. “Why didn’t you tell her that?”

 

“How could I? How do you tell someone…what you always thought of them and what they meant to you?”

 

“You make the effort, and you do it.”

 

“And what if they don’t…?”

 

“Don’t what, Jarod?”

 

“Don’t want to know?”

 

“You won’t know until you tell her.”

 

“But…I can’t!”

 

Sydney silently sighed, foreseeing a long struggle. “Why not?”

 

“Because…”

 

“Because of what you feel.”

 

Jarod rolled over and stared at him. “How do you know what I feel?”

 

“I always have.”

 

Jarod tried to smile, but couldn’t. After a long pause, Sydney spoke again.

 

“You feel guilty, Jarod. You feel guilty, and always have done, because you were happy while we were dying.”

 

“It wasn’t fair…” His voice was a soft whisper.

 

“Life wasn’t fair, Jarod. That’s why it was so difficult. And then you felt even more guilty because she told you not to and yet you couldn’t help yourself.”

 

“Why, Sydney?”

 

“Why what, Jarod?”

 

“Why couldn’t I have known?”

 

“She gave you a reason and I’m going to give you the same one – sometimes there isn’t a reason.”

 

“But…you were suffering…”

 

“No, Jarod.” Sydney smiled. “I didn’t suffer at all. Not then.”

 

“Later.”

 

“Yes, later. Like you, my life was hard to look back on. I had guilt too. But you couldn’t have done anything about that guilt, or that suffering.”

 

“And…her?”

 

“She suffered too, Jarod. But not the suffering you could do anything about either.”

 

“I could at least have said goodbye.”

 

“That’s always been your greatest regret. That you never had the chance to say goodbye.”

 

Jarod nodded, a tear sliding out of his eye and down his cheek. But when he spoke, it was about something else.

 

“Is…Parker happy?”

 

“Yes, Jarod,” Sydney smiled. “She’s very happy.”

 

The Pretender nodded slowly, before suddenly looking up. “Why does she get to be happy, and I don’t?”

 

“Because you won’t take the chance.”

 

His eyes filled. “I don’t want to get hurt again.”

 

“Again?” Sydney looked down in consternation. “What do you mean, ‘again’?”

 

“I used to…imagine that I could talk to her. When I used to…dream about her, she always said no.”

 

“Always?”

 

Unable to speak, Jarod simply nodded and rolled over, burying his face in his arms with a soft moan.

 

“And what did you ask her?”

 

Sydney waited for several moments but Jarod remained silent. Finally the older man placed one hand on his shoulder, rolling him over and looking down to see the tears that he had silently shed.

 

“You asked her if she loved you.”

 

Jarod remained speechless and Sydney continued.

 

“Not only that, but you even asked her to take you with her. But, in your heart, the only answer that you ever heard was no.” He leaned in closer. “But was that what she really said, or only what you only thought she’d say?”

 

“I…I don’t…know.”

 

“Yes you do, Jarod.” Sydney placed one hand on the younger man’s chest. “You know, in here, that you were only saying it because you believed that you would never see her again and you thought that, by saying that, it would protect you from any more hurt.”

When he opened his eyes, he was in the hotel room again. He got up off the bed and walked into the other room, watching her as she put the letter on the table and stroked it with a gentle finger before leaving it there.

 

“You’re leaving me, Rebecca.”

 

A single tear slid down her cheek. “Yes, Jarod.”

 

He watched as she walked past him to the window and looked out before walking over and lying on the bed.

 

“Do you love me, Rebecca?”

 

He watched as she blinked once before running over to the bed, sliding down on his knees beside it, clutching at her hand, his hand stroking the side of her face, looking down at her closed eyes as the color left her lips.

 

“Please, Rebecca, don’t leave me. I love you…”
 

“What did you think when she fell off the balcony today?”

 

Jarod looked up, startled. “How did you know…?”

 

“I just do.”

 

“I thought…she was going to die.”

 

Sydney laughed. “Instinct. I thought the same.”

 

“What?” Jarod's eyes were wide. “What do you mean?”

 

“She did the same thing to me, soon after she found out about it. I thought she was going to die, too. Jacob found it entertaining.”

 

Jarod grabbed his hand. “Show me.”

 

“No, Jarod.” Sydney shook his head. “I’ve never done it. Let her show you.”

 

“She never will.”

 

“Have you asked?” Sydney prompted.

 

“I asked today.”

 

“Ask her again.”

 

“It won’t change anything.”

 

“How do you know?” Sydney placed one hand on the side of his head. “If you don’t ask, how can you possibly know?”

 

“I shouldn’t have asked her. I should have asked you.”

 

“I would have said no, Jarod.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Jarod, I was dying. I couldn’t marry you when I was dying.”

 

“Would you ever have married me?”

 

“You never asked.”

 

“Do you love me, Rebecca?”

 

Rebecca stood, looking around the room, before stepping out onto the balcony. The tears continued to pour down her cheeks but she had given up trying to wipe them away. More always followed.

 

“Show me.”

 

“Why, Jarod?” She rested both hands on the railing and stared out into the darkness. “You said…”

 

“I changed my mind, Rebecca. Can’t I do that?”

 

“Of course you can. You can do everything you ever wanted to here.”

 

“No.” She didn’t see the sad expression that crossed his face as he spoke. “I can’t do everything I want.”

 

There was a pause.

 

“You were going to leave,” he suggested.

 

“Yes, Jarod.” Her voice was soft. “I still am.”

 

“Where?”

 

“I don’t know.” And, she added silently, I wouldn’t tell you, even if I did know.

 

“Why wouldn’t you tell me, Rebecca?”

 

She turned, blinking away the tears, to stare at him, her voice a whisper. “How did you know?”

 

“I just did.” He took a step closer. “You’re going to leave me.”

 

“I have to.”

 

“Why?”

 

“I don’t belong here. I know that now.”

 

“But…”

 

“Please, Jarod.” She looked up at him. “Don’t make this harder than it is.”

 

“If it’s so hard, why do it?”

 

“Because I have to.”

 

“You don’t have to do anything,” he protested.

 

“That’s not true.” She nodded. “I know, finally, that this is something I have to do.”

 

He looked down at her. “Take me with you.”

 

She made a sound in her throat, a half-laugh, half-sob. “No, Jarod. Your family is here. I couldn’t take you away from them. Not now, when they’ve finally got you back with them.”

 

“And yours…?”

 

“I don’t have one. That’s why I don’t belong.”

 

“Jacob…Sydney…”

 

“Sydney has Michelle and Nicholas now, as well as Jacob, and Jacob has Sydney and the rest of his family. They don’t need me.”

 

“I need you.”

 

She stopped, her gaze faltering between him and the mountains. “You don’t, Jarod.” Her voice was soft, a painful whisper. “You have her.”

 

“She has Thomas.” His own voice was lower now and he walked over, standing only a short distance away, trying to see her face. “She doesn’t need me.”

 

She hid the sob that she could feel working its way to the surface and wished, as she had never wished before, that she knew what he was thinking, that she knew the right answer to give now.

 

He placed one hand on the balustrade, moving closer to her. She stepped a short distance away, still turned away from him, until the railing prevented her from moving any further.

 

“Rebecca.”

 

His voice was hesitant, soft. Slowly he reached out with one hand. For a moment he held it over her shoulder, finally allowing it to come to rest gently there. It was a long time before she moved, but gradually she raised her own hand and placed it on top of his. He let out a breath that he didn’t know he had been holding and slowly turned her so that she was facing him.

 

“Why are you crying?”

 

“I don’t…know.”

 

With his other hand, he reached up and brushed the tears softly away, smiling tenderly at her. “You always used to know.”

 

“I told you I’d changed.”

 

He laughed, placing his hand gently on the back of her head, and felt her hair running through his fingers. With that hand, he drew her closer to himself, releasing his hold on her shoulder to wrap both arms around her. For a moment he felt her tense.

 

“Are you sure?”

 

Her whisper was full of suppressed pain and he looked down at her.

 

“Yes, Rebecca.” His own whisper was full of love. “I’m very sure.”

 

She relaxed against him, her arms slipping around behind his back, and he could finally allow himself to trust that what he was doing was right. Pulling back slightly, he freed one arm and placed it under her chin, turning her head so that she looked up at him.

 

“Do you love me, Rebecca?”

 

She smiled up at him, blinking the last of the tears away. “Do you know how many times I’ve heard you ask that?”

 

“Will you finally answer it?”

 

“Yes, Jarod.” She reached up and touched his cheek. “I do love you. I always have, from the first day.”

 

He smiled and covered her hand with his, moving it slightly and kissing her fingers gently.

 

”And do you know how much I love you?”

 

“I did once.” She smiled up at him. “I don’t know anymore.”

 

“How can I show you?”

 

“By being you.” She leaned against him. “That’s all you have to do.”

 

For a moment, he just looked down at her as she nestled against him, before something occurred to him. “Why, Rebecca? Why did you try and make me fall in love with her?”

 

She looked up out of sad eyes. “Because I didn’t want you to love me, Jarod. I knew what was going to happen and I didn’t want to cause you any more pain.”

 

“You promised me,” he whispered.

 

“I’m sorry, Jarod. I didn’t want to be the one to cause it.”

 

“Is that why you were leaving?”

 

She nodded, momentarily speechless.

 

“You would just have – vanished? Not been there in the morning?”

 

“Yes, Jarod.”

 

“I would have looked for you.”

 

“You would never have found me.”

 

“I would.” He nodded definitively. “I would have looked for you, found you and brought you back with me. Back home.”

 

~*~*~

 

“Show me.”

 

She pulled away a little and looked up at him. “Are you sure?”

 

“Don’t I sound sure?”

 

“We-ell…”

 

He watched as she smiled and then reached down, picked her up in his arms and carried her to the edge.

 

“Can you do it if I throw you,” he laughed, “or only if you choose to?”

 

“I don’t know, Jarod.” She slipped an arm around his neck. “You’ve never thrown me before.”

 

“I’ve never done a lot of things before.”

 

“Including flown,” she replied smartly.

 

“I have!”

 

“With a 747, yes. That’s cheating.”

 

“Even if I’m the pilot?”

 

She laughed. “Especially if you’re ‘pretending’ to be the pilot.” Leaning forward, she put one hand on his chin. “That was always cheating.” Gently she brushed his lips with hers. His eyes widened for a second, before he leaned closer to her, looking deeply into her eyes as she drew away slightly.

 

“Do that again,” he ordered softly.

 

She smiled and leaned forward, feeling his hand move to the back of her head, preventing her from pulling away.

It was some time before they broke apart. As they did, she brought her second arm up from where it had been resting on his chest so that the two were linked loosely around his neck and smiled.

 

“Look down.”

 

He glanced towards what had been the balcony and found himself floating about twenty feet above it. She felt him tense slightly and placed one hand on the side of his head, stroking gently.

 

“Relax, Jarod. You’re perfectly safe.”

 

“I don’t feel safe.”

 

“That old instinct about life is obviously still hanging around. Don’t worry. We’ll get rid of it.”

 

He looked at her. “Who’s doing it? You or me?”

 

“Both.” She stepped out of his arms. “If I let go of you now, you’d still be able to stay up here. All you have to do is think about it.”

 

“Do it.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Not really, but do it anyway.”

 

Laughing, she slowly released her grasp on him and stepped away. His eyes immediately slipped shut and she smiled, touching one of his hands with hers.

 

“The benefits disappear if you don’t watch. You’ve flown inside your mind often enough to know what that felt like. But I know you’ve never seen it. Especially somewhere this beautiful.”

 

He slowly opened his eyes to find himself looking down on a city that was spread below him, lights twinkling. His eyes widened as he took in the scene that stretched in every direction as far as he could see. Looking up, her could see that the stars and moon illuminated the sky around them and that she sat opposite, resting on a cloud, watching him.

 

“I told you…”

 

“You always told me the truth.”

 

She nodded before reaching forward and pulling him closer to her. He wrapped both arms around her, happy at finally being able to do so. She nestled closer to him, her small frame protected by his larger one. Reaching up, she brought her mouth near his ear. “And I always will. I promise.”

They Call It Paradise Part 1

 

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