Rating: PG-13
Category: M/L
Summary: From a challenge by Blanca at roswellfanfic.com. What if Max had left with Langley at the end of Control? A future fic.
Email: [email protected]
And maybe, I�ll find out
The way to make it back someday.
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days.
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all.
Well I hope there�s someone out there
Who will bring me back to you.
If I could, then I would,
I�ll go wherever you will go.
Way up high or down low
I�ll go wherever you will go.
Runaway with my heart,
Runaway with my hope,
Runaway with my love.
I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on.
In your heart and your mind
I�ll stay with you for all of time.
If I could, then I would,
I�ll go wherever you will go.
Way up high or down low
I�ll go wherever you will go.
If I could turn back time
I�ll go wherever you will go.
If I could make you mine
I�ll go wherever you will go.
� Wherever You Will Go by The Calling
Albuquerque, New Mexico - October 2009
"Tell me again what we�re doing here this early?"
Liz Parker elbowed her best friend in the side as Maria Deluca barely managed to stifle a yawn. "Maria, you promised you would be good."
Maria sighed heavily, running her fingers through her short, strawberry blonde hair. "Liz, its nine-thirty in the morning. I don�t usually get up before at least one." She rolled her eyes. "I still don�t get why we�re doing this anyway. It�s not like Queen Amidala has ever done anything for us in the long span of our unfortunate acquaintance with her and her fellow Czechoslovakians."
"We�re not doing it for Isabel," Liz replied, beginning to feel a little annoyed at Maria. "I told you, we�re doing it for her kids. Plus you were the one saying yesterday that you were bored with everything being about weddings since we came home."
Maria snorted. Liz watched her best friend as Maria pulled a compact out of her purse and began to fiddle with her make-up. "I said bored. I didn�t mean I was desperate to visit a bunch of rug-rats." She noticed Liz�s glare. "Right, right. Career Day. I know I�m being a witch, but I�m tired. That stagette was wild babe. I didn�t realize that Harvard graduates were capable of partying that hard." She snapped the mirror shut and glanced at Liz, grinning slightly as she looked around the room in which they found themselves. "If you�d told me ten years ago that Isabel Evans was going to end up teaching fourth grade, I would have told you you were crazy."
Liz smiled back, shrugging. "Remember when we did that career survey sophomore year? I remember hearing somewhere once that Ms. Topolsky told Isabel that she belonged in a care-giving job. I guess maybe she was right."
Maria narrowed her eyes slightly. "I can guess who you heard that from."
Liz sighed, glanced away. "Max," she admitted.
Liz lowered her eyes briefly, avoiding the concern on Maria�s face. There was no reason for Maria to be worried, but Liz knew that that didn�t stop her best friend.
Max. It was a name that was never far from her thoughts, try as she had over the years to forget him. Being around Isabel lately had only made it so that she thought about him on a more regular basis.
She had gotten over him a long time ago, but that didn�t mean that she didn�t remember him.
He had been her first love. She could never forget him. She didn�t even want to forget him anymore.
She had gotten over her anger and hurt a long time ago too. Now when she thought of him, she just hoped that he had found what he had been looking for, that he was safe and happy, wherever he was.
"Liz, are you okay?" Maria was waving her hand in front of Liz�s face. Liz refocused on her friend. Maria was shaking her head. "I so knew this wasn�t a good idea. Being back here is only going to hurt you again Liz. Especially being around his sister."
Liz smiled. "Maria, you�ve got to stop this. I swear, its okay. You know that I got over Max a long time ago."
Maria did not look convinced. "Lizzie, he broke your heart."
"More than once," Liz agreed, shrugging. "Which is why I�m better off without him. But that doesn�t mean I shouldn�t think about him. He was a part of my life once upon a time. I loved him. He didn�t love me as much. It�s as simple as that. I�m a grown-up now Maria, not a love-sick eighteen year old. I can remember Max�remember the good times. Because there were good times." Liz laughed. "Even if they were few and far between."
"Good times. I wonder what those are like," Maria replied darkly. "Michael and I have had like maybe two in the span of ten years."
It was Liz�s turn to be worried. She put her arm around Maria�s shoulders. "Maria, you told me that you and Michael were finished."
"We are. This time I swear we are," Maria told her resolutely. "He wouldn�t even come back to New Mexico with me. The bastard."
Liz sighed again. Maria had refused to open up about what had happened between she and Michael before she had returned to Roswell, but, whatever it was, Liz knew it was bad. She didn�t have time to ask any questions though because Isabel suddenly appeared in the doorway of the empty classroom where Liz and Maria were waiting.
Liz had been amazed when she had met up with Max�s sister the week before. It had been the first time she had seen Isabel since the other woman had left Roswell for Albuquerque more than five years ago.
Isabel looked much the same. She had let her hair grow out again, but it was still dark. Liz remembered when she had first dyed it. It had been in the week after she had graduated from high school, after they had found out what Tess Harding had done to their best friend Alex Whitman. Liz and Maria had wondered at the time if it had been her way to mourn Alex permanently, but they had questioned that guess when Isabel had married Jesse Ramirez barely six months after Alex had died.
At first they had wondered if the wedding had been a consequence of Isabel�s grief, the ultimate rebound, but she and Jesse were still together. Liz even had to admit that she liked him. He was a nice guy�no Alex, but he had made Isabel happy and had made her feel normal, especially after Max had disappeared.
"Hey guys," Isabel said now, smiling serenely. All the bitterness and snootiness that had once been such a part of Isabel�s make-up were gone. Isabel Evans Ramirez was happy and it showed.
Liz wished that she could say the same for Maria. She hoped that she would soon be able to say the same for herself. She was almost positive she would.
"Thanks again for coming," Isabel continued. "The kids are super excited to meet you, Maria. You too, Liz."
Liz smiled, amused. "I doubt they�re as excited to meet a molecular biologist as they are to meet the next �Celine Dion�." She laughed when Maria glared at her. "Hey! I wasn�t the one who called you that! It was that woman at the Blind Date concert. The one you sang at with the Whits!"
"Don�t remind me," Maria muttered, rolling her eyes. "Those were the days when I still wanted to be the next Alanis." She giggled. "I almost drove Alex crazy that day."
"I know he�d be really proud of you Maria," Isabel said, smiling to herself at the thought of Alex. Liz watched her closely. She didn�t see any sadness in Isabel�s expression at the memory of their lost friend. Over the years, her grief had melted into an unswerving love and dedication to keeping his memory alive. This had been reinforced to Liz when she had heard from her mother that Isabel had named her daughter, who was now one, Alexandra.
"Anyway, I swear they are, Liz," Isabel insisted, changing the subject back to their original topic. "They know what Harvard is." She grinned suddenly. "But I do have to admit the idea that I am actually friends with Maria Deluca has upped my cool factor a considerable margin with all these nine year olds." She paused, cracked another smile. "But maybe Liz, you should go first. I don�t know if we�ll be able to settle them down again after they meet Maria. They still don�t know she�s here and once they find out, they�re going to be crazy for the rest of the day."
Liz laughed. "No problem. So Jesse�s almost done then?"
"Completely done actually." Jesse Ramirez poked his head through the doorway. "I�ve regaled them with the mysteries and intrigues of the law profession long enough I think." Isabel�s husband grinned as he entered the room. He pulled Isabel into his arms as he admitted to Liz and Maria, "Every year I bore them a little more."
"You do not, sweetie." Isabel gave him a peck on the cheek. "Just make sure he doesn�t give a speech at your wedding," she pretended to whisper to Liz, then laughed as Jesse pinched her lightly in punishment.
At the mention of her wedding, Liz felt her heart skip a beat. She smiled softly to herself as her thoughts drifted towards her husband-to-be, who right now was back in Roswell, helping her mother and father make the last arrangements for the wedding, which was a week away. "You�ve decided to come then?" Liz asked, pleased.
"Jesse was able to rearrange a few appointments," Isabel replied. "My mom can�t wait to actually have Lexi in Roswell too. She�s never been. It all worked out for the best."
"Are you sure that it won�t be too weird for you Isabel?" Liz asked, concerned.
Isabel snorted. "Because of Max? Please. He�s the one who deserted you. I don�t owe him anything." Isabel�s face darkened at the thought of her brother. Liz knew that it had taken Max�s sister a long time to admit to herself that her brother was never coming back. Since she had, she had been angry anytime anyone even mentioned him.
Liz knew that anger was Isabel�s way of dealing with how much she missed Max, but it was still fairly disturbing to see it reflected on her face now. "I�m sorry Isabel. I shouldn�t have brought it up," Liz said now.
"Never mind." Isabel waved her hand in the air dismissively. "He chose to go. He didn�t think about us before he left. Why should we bother worrying about him?" Liz saw the concern on Jesse�s face, reflecting her own.
But strangely, it wasn�t just concern for Isabel that Liz was beginning to feel. Memories of that horrible time were threading their way through her mind � memories of pain that she had thought long-forgotten. Pain that she had just told Maria was long over.
Why on Earth had she brought this up?
It had been almost exactly eight years since Max Evans had gone to Los Angeles to track down the second shape shifter from the ship that had crashed near Roswell in 1947. He had been looking for a way to get back to his home planet, desperate to track down the son he had sent back to Antar in the company of his murderous former-life bride, Tess Harding.
Liz had spoken to him several times on the phone while he had been searching for the other alien, but then all communication had ceased. Liz remembered how he had been cut off during one of his conversations with her. He had been in a film vault on the Paramount lot, had discovered something about the shape shifter and then had disappeared.
She had not heard from him again, even though they had agreed that they would talk at least once a day. Isabel had been the last person to actually speak to Max. He had called her when he had found out that she was engaged to Jesse. Isabel had hung up on him and that had been the last that they had ever heard of him.
At first Liz had been angry that Max had called Isabel and not her, that his search for his son seemed to be driving a wedge between them, even though she had done everything in her power to help him. She had even helped him to hold up a convenience store so that he could access a ship that might have been able to take him back to Antar. She had later realized that it had all been a fairly desperate bid to hold on to someone who had already left her in all the ways that counted.
They had all expected Max to show up sooner or later to stop Isabel�s marriage. Liz had not known what she was going to say to him when she saw him, had even been considering breaking up with him, although she had known that she would never stop loving him.
It was only when Max never appeared that they all became frantic. Liz had remembered how they had first become aware that the shape shifter existed � because he had killed someone. What if he had hurt or, even worse, killed Max?
The wedding had been postponed while Michael, Isabel and Liz had driven to Los Angeles to try and find him. They had managed to trace his movements through his visit to the Paramount Lot, had even uncovered who the shape shifter had been. Max had told Liz that he was a producer. It had turned out that the producer�s name was Cal Langley.
But Cal Langley had apparently disappeared as well. Completely. They had concluded that he had likely disappeared right off the face of the Earth in fact, taking Max Evans with him.
Everyone had concluded this except Liz and Isabel that is. Michael had accepted it almost immediately. He had always understood that Max would not rest until he had recovered his son. Only later had Liz admitted to herself that she had secretly hoped that Max would give up someday. She had not truly understood his obsession, although she had pretended that she did. Isabel had continued to insist that Max would never leave without her. He had told her that once, right before they had almost returned home the first time, when Max had sent Tess off instead. Liz had believed Isabel, had secretly hoped that Max would never leave her either. The old Max would not have.
But then the old Max Evans would never have slept with Tess Harding either. The old Max Evans had been completely destroyed the day that he found Liz Parker in bed with Kyle Valenti. Even when he had found out the truth � that it had never really happened, that she had been trying to save the world � he had not been able to completely return to the way he had been before. Too much had happened. They had both hurt each other too much.
And yet, Liz had still loved him. She thought that she knew that he loved her too.
Liz had finally had to admit to herself that all evidence told her differently. Max would leave her � in fact, had. He didn�t love her anymore � not the way he had. It had taken almost a year, but she had finally faced the truth. Hadn�t he been perfectly willing to leave her on Earth alone after Alex�s death when they had still thought a murderous alien was running around? They had not known that Tess was responsible for Alex�s death after all - not the first time he had almost left her.
It had been a clear spring day in 2003 when Liz Parker had finally given up on Max Evans. She had left for Harvard that fall and had not looked back since.
But that didn�t mean that she didn�t remember Max. As she had told Maria, he had been her first love. You didn�t forget your first love, especially one you had been convinced was your soul mate. Deep down, Liz had admitted to herself that she still thought that, even after she had become engaged.
Liz had learned the hard way that soul mates weren�t always destined to be together.
Yes, Liz had gotten over Max a long time ago, but that didn�t mean that she didn�t remember him. She was even happy to say that she could remember him with a smile now, instead of tears.
Liz Parker had grown up.
But it did sound like Isabel had not gotten over her brother�s departure. Liz regretted bringing it up. "I guess we shouldn�t," Liz told Isabel now. "I�m just glad that you�re coming to the wedding."
Isabel smiled again, more forced this time. "It�s the least I can do for one of my former bride�s maids," she replied, with forced cheer. She clapped her hands together in a gesture common to most teachers of Liz�s memory. "So, are you ready to fill my little kiddies in on the mysteries of the scientific world?" she asked Liz.
Liz and Maria exchanged a look, but Liz nodded. "Ready and willing." She followed Isabel out of the room.
Liz was glancing from right to left into various classrooms where children were working. It had been a long time since she had been in a public school. She had not been anywhere near one actually since she had graduated from West Roswell. She had forgotten how much fun school was, how much she had loved learning when she had been a child. She knew that she was one of the few kids who had actually admitted to herself that she loved school, but it had been true.
Learning had lost a lot of its luster since she had taken her job at Harvard. She had achieved her dream, but it was not the wonderful thing she had once imagined it might be. She was confronted by a lot of academic rules and deadlines every day. The joy had gone out of it. Plus, it was annoying that she very rarely got to pursue her own interests. She was the low woman on the totem pole, assigned her research topics and her classes. It would be years before she would be allowed to foster her own research.
Liz was not an impatient person, but being back in New Mexico, getting ready to marry a man she loved, was beginning to remind her that there were other options in life. As she stared at herself in the mirror in the Ladies Room several minutes later, she wondered if she had the courage to make the break she had been considering�
On her way back to the auditorium to meet up with Isabel and Maria again, Liz paused just outside the school office, gazing at the class pictures on the wall. She found Isabel�s group of fourth-graders, smiled to herself again. She realized that she envied Isabel. It must be nice to teach kids who actually listened to you. Most of Liz�s undergraduate students at Harvard were so busy trying to prove how smart they were, they often tried to knock her down a few pegs to show it.
"�sure that he�ll be very happy here Mr. Evans." The voice drifted through Liz�s mind as she tilted her head to the side and gazed at the face of a small child with two missing front teeth in Isabel�s class. She blinked.
Liz whipped around, stared in the direction from which the voice had come. She realized that it was drifting out from under a door marked PRINCIPAL.
Had that voice just said "Mr. Evans?" It was impossible. She must have Max on the brain. Liz laughed softly to herself. But she found herself holding her breath to hear the voice of the person who replied. It came, but it was too soft for Liz to get any sort of recognition factor. She wasn�t even sure that she would recognize Max�s voice anymore. It had been so long�
Liz shook her head, smiling to herself again. All of these thoughts of Max should have been disturbing her, but instead she found them reassuring. It was only natural to remember old romances in the days leading up to your wedding. If she was trying to block the memories, she would have been more worried about her state of mind.
She turned, made her way back towards the auditorium. It was time to head back to Roswell, time to return to her fianc� and her real life.
Once she was back with Dan, all memories of Max Evans would be just that � memories.
Max Evans slammed the door of the rented apartment, calling out as he threw the pizza box onto the sofa in the living room. "Soup�s on! Get out here you guys!"
He could hear the yelling coming from the second bedroom Michael had lugged the TV and DVD player into two days before, telling Max that he had the responsibility to ensure that Ben caught up on his TV as quickly as possible. "To fit in with the other kids Maxwell," Michael had explained in all seriousness. Max had just nodded, trying hard not to laugh.
"HOLY CRAP! THAT WAS AMAZING!"
Max rolled his eyes at the voice emerging from the bedroom. Nice to see some things hadn�t changed. Apparently Michael was already filling Ben in on some of the finer points of the English language.
He threw his jacket over the back of a chair in the kitchen, grabbed some plates, the Tabasco bottle that was sitting on the table, and the pizza as he walked back through the living room, and went to join his best friend and his son.
Michael was sprawled on the bed, the remote control in his hand. Max eyed him in amusement as he pointed at the screen, talking to the boy sitting beside him. "See, that�s when Gretzky scored the game winning goal to take the Cup."
"He�s amazing," Ben replied. "But I want to see that Selanne goal again."
Michael was nodding in approval. "Yeah, that guy had some moves in his day. You�ve got taste, kid."
"Ice hockey, Michael?" Max asked, raising an eyebrow as both Michael and Ben turned their heads to stare at him. "You did tell my kid that we don�t usually have it in New Mexico?"
"Hey, just because we�re in the desert, doesn�t mean the kid can�t appreciate the coolest game on Earth," Michael retorted as Ben said, "Hi Dad." Michael pointed the remote at the TV again, shutting the screen off.
"Hey!" Ben exclaimed, looking annoyed. "I want to watch that!"
"Sorry kid. It�s time for the pizza," Michael replied, standing up and grabbing the box from Max. "This is an important component of your earthly education. Right after cereal, pizza is the most significant food you�re going to encounter on this planet."
Ben looked interested. But then, Max reflected wryly, Ben had been interested in absolutely everything Michael had told him since they had met the week before. To Ben�s eight-year-old eyes, Michael Guerin was the essence of humanity. He wanted to be exactly like him, Lord help them all.
Max settled into a chair next to the bed, grabbed a slice of pizza and dumped a liberal dose of Tabasco on top. He bit in, closed his eyes briefly, enjoying the blast of flavor that greeted him.
God, had he missed Tabasco.
The three guys munched away at their pizza in companionable silence for several minutes before Michael spoke, his mouth full. "So, is the kid all registered?"
"Yeah," Max replied, wiping his hands on a napkin, then handing one to Ben, who was starting to smear his greasy hands on the blankets on top of the bed. "You start tomorrow, kiddo."
Ben didn�t reply, just glanced at Michael to see what he had to say about school. "Did you meet his teacher?" Michael asked. Max wondered at the weirdly chipper way he said it. Michael had changed since Max had been gone, but not that much. Michael sounding so excited about teachers � it was just wrong.
"Nah. I�ll meet her when I take Ben in tomorrow." He grinned. "Apparently she�s young and cute, at least from the way the principal was drooling while he talked about her. You were right though, Michael. It�s a great school. Good call."
Michael suddenly had a scowl on his face. "But you didn�t even get her name?" he demanded.
"No." Max raised an eyebrow. "Why?"
"Just curious," Michael replied, holding up his hands. He looked away. "Er � maybe I better go in with you guys tomorrow," he said quietly a moment later.
Max narrowed his eyes. "Again, why? I do remember how school works, Michael. Besides," he added, "I thought you said you were finally going to call Maria tomorrow."
"Um, I thought I might wait a couple of more days," Michael said, glancing at Ben, who had picked up a comic book from the far side of the bed. He didn�t seem to be listening to their conversation, as he knew that school wasn�t really that important for him. Max was only sending him so that he could meet some other kids after all. It wasn�t like he needed the education.
Max eyed Michael for a moment, then tilted his head towards the door. "I suggest we go discuss this elsewhere."
Michael scowled again, but followed Max out into the living room.
Max grinned when Ben called after them, "Are you going to talk about girls again? Because I won�t listen! I promise!"
"Shut the door," Max yelled back. He heard his son muttering to himself as he moved to comply. He turned back to Michael, who was now sprawled on the couch. "Okay, what�s going on?"
"Nothing," Michael muttered, picking up a magazine that was sitting beside him.
Max sighed. "Michael, are you ever going to tell me what happened between you two?"
"I told you, Maxwell. She can�t accept who I am," Michael replied, tossing the magazine aside.
Max just shook his head. "Unfortunately Michael, since you haven�t told me who you are these days, that doesn�t tell me much." He shrugged. "I�ve been gone for eight years. You need to fill me in on these things."
"She doesn�t want to get married!" Michael yelled. "There! Are you satisfied?"
Max blinked. "And you do?"
"It�s all about her career with her!" Michael stormed, ignoring Max�s question entirely. He stood up, started pacing. "I don�t think she�ll ever want to settle down!"
"Michael, are you having a mid-life crisis?" Max joked. Michael stopped, turned to glare at him. "You�re twenty-six. There�s plenty of time."
"Maxwell, she told me that she doesn�t ever want to get married," Michael snapped back. "And the way she said it, I know it�s true. I�m not saying that I want to get married right now, but I do want to eventually! I want kids and I�ll tell you this much � no kid of mine is going to come into a house where the parents aren�t committed to each other." He raked his hands through his hair. "I know what it�s like to feel unwanted," he muttered.
Max frowned. Michael had changed, yes, but it was becoming clear that his best friend was still haunted by his childhood. It was memories of some of the stuff Michael had had to endure with Hank that had helped Max to solidify how he planned to raise Ben after all. Michael had gone through hell and it had shaped the kind of person he had become.
Just like being raised by Diane and Phillip Evans had shaped the kind of person Max was. The kind of human he was anyway.
Ben was going to have the same happy childhood Max had had if it was the last thing Max did.
Max forced his mind to refocus on the problem at hand. "Okay, tell me how you know that she really meant it."
"It was the off-hand way she said it. It was right after Liz had called to tell us she was marrying Dan. She hung up and turned to me and said �And another one bites the dust. I�m never getting married.� Just like that�" Max was staring at Michael as he trailed off. "Oh Christ." He ran his hands through his hair again. "Oh man. I�m sorry Maxwell. I didn�t mean to tell you like that."
Liz was getting married.
Max felt like he had been punched in the stomach and then had been kicked in the head for good measure.
He and Michael had barely discussed Liz at all since they had met up the week before. Michael had come to pick him and Ben up at the bus station in L.A., had broached the subject almost immediately, but Max had told him that it could wait. He needed to make sure that Ben was adjusting all right before he even started to think about Liz. Michael had tried to insist, but Max had told him that he didn�t want to know.
What a liar he was.
He had needed to get his son settled before he started to think about how he was going to find his soul mate and how he was going to win her back. Ha. Right.
Why the hell had he waited a whole week to let Michael tell him? He had let Michael tell him about Maria and Isabel and his parents and even the Valentis, but the subject of Liz had been totally off limits � until he could devote his full attention to it. It had seemed like a pretty good plan at the time.
What an idiot he was.
"When?" he managed to choke out.
Michael was staring at him, looking like he wanted to kill himself. "On Saturday," he said evenly. "I�m really sorry man." He paused. "He�s a nice guy�" Michael trailed off again. "Um, well I guess you don�t want to know that."
Max swallowed, hard. "I want to know. Tell me." He didn�t want to know actually, but he knew he had to.
He was trying to focus on what Michael was saying, but the same thought kept drifting through his mind. You�ve lost her. You left her and you�ve lost her.
And it wasn�t until that instant that he realized that the reason he hadn�t wanted Michael to tell him about Liz was because he had been pretty sure there was nothing to tell.
It was true. He had truly, in his selfish, self-absorbed way, believed that she had waited for him, that she had known that he had every intention of returning to her someday. He had just assumed that she knew that when he left, he was planning to come back to her�that from the moment he had blasted off of Earth with Langley, he had been on his way back to her.
He had truly believed that she was waiting for him. He had believed that she would wait for him for eight years while he chased after the son she still believed he had fathered with another woman.
He was a complete fool.
"�they met at Harvard." Michael was saying. His voice was drifting in and out of Max�s state of consciousness. "Maxwell, would you stop looking like that!" he heard Michael exclaim.
"Looking like what?" he murmured in a daze.
"Like you�re about to fall on your sword," Michael retorted.
Max shook his head to clear it, images of Liz the last time he had left her, sitting in his old Chevelle, staring up at him as he told her that this time he had to go alone�
He hadn�t even kissed her goodbye. He hadn�t because he had known that he was going to see her in a couple of weeks, had known that they had a whole lifetime of kisses ahead of them.
He had been focused on one thing. His son. How could he have known how quickly things would progress when he had reached L.A.? How could he have known that he was going to have to leave so soon? How could he have known that he wasn�t going to get the chance to really kiss her goodbye?
"Sorry," Max managed to say. "Tell me," he repeated, this time with every intention of listening.
"His name is Dan Riley," Michael repeated patiently. "He�s a scientist like Liz. They both teach at Harvard."
Max smiled slightly, despite himself. "She�s teaching at Harvard, huh?"
Michael shrugged. "Some kind of biology." He shook his head. "I have no idea what the hell kind. Maria knows."
"Molecular," Max said quietly.
"That sounds right. Anyway, Liz waited for you for a full year before she went. She only started to accept that you might not be coming back when Isabel started to�" Michael trailed off, frowning. "Are you sure you want to hear this?"
Max nodded mechanically. Dan Riley. Molecular biology. Dan Riley. Molecular biology. The words were interchanging through his brain, every time making his heart break a little more.
"Anyway, Iz started to accept it. And Liz realized that she needed to be strong for Isabel." Michael scowled at him. "She�s never gotten over you leaving Max. She�s never gotten over you telling her that you would talk to her when you got back�and then you never came back. She�s never forgiven herself for hanging up on you that day."
Max closed his eyes. The thought of phone calls was making him think about the phone call he had ignored from Liz on that fateful day. He had always known why he hadn�t answered it. If he had answered it, he wouldn�t have gone. He would have chosen Liz over his son and he would have lost his last chance to save him.
Because Max had truly believed that he could have both. He had believed that he could ignore Liz�s phone call because she would be waiting for him and he could apologize and they would both happily raise his son together�
Because being happy with Liz was what he was supposed to have wanted after all�to try and make her happy, to make her dreams come true. He had known it, even if everything he did at the time seemed to indicate the exact opposite. He had said the words, but had never actually done it.
He had left her without even saying good-bye.
What kind of blind idiot had he been�was he still? The fact that he had only been eighteen years old then was no excuse. He had still believed the exact same thing up until five minutes ago.
He had chosen his son and he had lost Liz. Supreme irony that because, in the end, it had turned out that Liz never would have forgiven him if he hadn�t gone after Ben.
And now she would never know why.
Because he was going to leave her in peace. He couldn�t disrupt her life now. And the only way to leave her in peace was to not see her � and so she would never see Ben.
"Are you planning to call her, Max?" Michael was asking. Max wasn�t sure if he meant Liz or Isabel, but he had made his decision. He couldn�t call anyone until Liz�s wedding was over. He wouldn�t hurt her that way, wouldn�t interfere in the most important day of her life.
He told himself that anyway. Told himself that this was about Liz. About what was best for her.
He tried to ignore the fact that he didn�t want her to know that he was back, because he could absolutely not bear the fact that she might not care. At least if she never knew, he could pretend to himself that she might � that it might stop her from marrying this Dan guy. That it might have made a difference.
"The wedding is this Saturday?" he asked Michael. "In Roswell?"
"Yeah. And then they�re going back to Boston," Michael replied.
"I�ll call Izzy after the wedding," Max said woodenly. "You can�t tell anyone until after the wedding."
"I haven�t told anyone so far," Michael retorted. "I even told Maria I wouldn�t go to the wedding so that she wouldn�t find out. I told you when you called me, man. We play this your way." He glanced towards the closed bedroom door. "You�re the one with the kid to think of."
"Yeah." Max stood up slowly, felt like a zombie as he walked towards the room where his son was likely watching some violent show he wasn�t supposed to be watching. "I better get him ready for bed. He has an early day tomorrow."
Max heard Michael cough behind him. "Er, Maximillian�"
Max turned his head wearily. "What?"
"I think maybe I might have to take Ben to school tomorrow." Michael grimaced. "If this secret thing is going to work."
"Why?" Max eyed him suspiciously.
"Well, um�because Isabel is his teacher," he blurted out in a rush.
Max closed his eyes in resignation. "What?"
"I thought you were being a dick," Michael said bluntly. "I didn�t understand why you weren�t calling anyone except me � and I still don�t understand why you weren�t before � and so I arranged it so you would run into Isabel anyway," he explained. "But now I think you�re right and I think that maybe seeing you would be too much for Iz. She�s going to Liz�s wedding. I think she would tell her."
"I was afraid," Max replied honestly, only now realizing it was true, now that he had stopped lying to himself. "I knew that you were the only one who wouldn�t tell me anything unless I wanted you to. I was afraid of finding out exactly what I just found out." He scrubbed his eyes. He smiled weakly, suddenly feeling extremely tired. "You know, deep down, I really though life would stop while I was gone." He snorted derisively. "It�s the king in me I guess."
"You always did think the Earth revolved around you," Michael agreed. He held his hands up when Max glared at him. "I�m totally kidding. Man, I�m really sorry. I�m sorry that it didn�t." Max knew that Michael was completely sincere. It actually made him feel worse.
"Thanks. And I�d appreciate it if you�d take Ben until I can tell Izzy the truth."
"Sure. I�ll just tell her he�s my neighbor�s kid."
"Michael, you live in LA," Max sighed.
"Ah, she knows Maria and I broke up," Michael replied. "I�ll just tell her I moved back to this hell-hole."
"Whatever."
Because �whatever� was all Max Evans was feeling at the moment. It was what he felt all through getting Ben ready for bed, all through watching the news with Michael in a vain attempt to get caught up on what had happened on the Earth while he was gone, was what he felt as he had fallen into bed himself close to one o�clock in the morning.
�Whatever� was all he felt until he suddenly awoke in the middle of the night, a certain knowledge hitting him so abruptly that it couldn�t be ignored.
He had been dreaming about her.
She had still been eighteen-year-old Liz in his dream. She had been in her Crashdown uniform staring at him, an unreadable expression on her face. He had been walking towards her, knowing that she was angry at him, knowing that he had never been more sorry in his entire life, knowing that he could never leave her.
Knowing that he had to tell her. That she had to know that he was sorry.
It had been so realistic, it had almost been like a vision of what was supposed to have been, of what should have been�
And, in that instant, before he was fully aware, he knew. �Whatever� turned into �however.� Meaning that, however long it took, he was going to win her back.
"Are you sure Isabel?" Liz could feel her heart beating double-time with excitement. "I won�t be a total pain?"
Isabel grinned as she put the dirty plate into the dishwasher. "Liz, any pair of helping hands with twenty-five eight-year-olds is a God-send. You�re doing me a favor." She glanced back as Liz handed her another dish. "The kids loved you too � not as much as Miss Deluca of course � but they thought you were great."
"Well, I certainly don�t blame them." Liz laughed. "Me or the woman responsible for the theme song from Leonardo DiCaprio�s latest love fest? I know it�s a tough choice, but I think they made the right one."
"Do I hear mocking?" Maria demanded as she sauntered into the kitchen, lightly punching Liz on the shoulder as she passed her to sit at the kitchen table in Jesse and Isabel�s comfortable split-level house. Isabel had invited Liz and Maria for dinner after the she finished at work, so the two friends had spent the day shopping and then had met up with their other friend that evening.
Liz was still amazed by how well they were all getting along. Isabel had changed drastically since she had left Roswell and had found her calling in teaching. She was not nearly as high-strung, nor as cold. Liz had always wanted to be closer to Max�s sister when she had been with Max, but had given up fairly early on in their relationship. Isabel had been impossible to get to know in high school. The only ones who had ever really known her were Max, Michael and, surprisingly perhaps, or maybe not because of who he had been, Alex Whitman.
"You could grab a dishtowel, oh famous one," Liz countered wryly, as Maria continued to watch Isabel and Liz clean up the kitchen.
"Liz, you know that I vowed these hands would never touch another dirty dish after I quit the Crashdown," Maria smirked back. "I am far too famous to waste my time on mere chores." The twinkle in her eye belied the tone of her words though.
"Oh, so that�s why you couldn�t keep your hands to yourself when we were at the Crashdown yesterday?" Liz retorted, snorting at the memory of Maria�s first visit to her father�s restaurant since they had returned to Roswell. She had taken over completely, ordering the waitresses around like a dictator until they had almost revolted.
"Those waitresses are idiots." Maria shrugged innocently. "Someone had to show them what to do. I couldn�t leave your parents with such incompetence."
"I�m sure my father was eternally grateful that you helped Tina and Tonya." Liz rolled her eyes, grinning towards Isabel in amusement.
"Anything for your dad." Maria replied. "Anyway�What are we discussing in here? Jesse and Dan are talking about football. I deemed it best to escape as quickly as possible."
"Liz is coming to school with me again tomorrow," Isabel told her, sounding pleased.
Maria raised an eyebrow, glanced at Liz. "She is? Why?" She backpedaled quickly when both Isabel and Liz stared at her. "I mean, they�re cute and all, but one day with a bunch of kids was about all I could handle."
"I just liked it," Liz replied defensively. "I liked being in a school again. I thought it might be fun to actually see a classroom in action."
"Lizzie, don�t you have stuff to do for the wedding?" Maria asked suspiciously.
"Nah." Liz waved her hand in the air dismissively, although she knew it wasn�t true. "Dan is perfectly happy to take care of all that. He�s so organized. He loves it."
"A man who likes planning a wedding?" Isabel sounded jealous. "Jesse can�t even organize his socks!"
"Yeah." Liz smiled. "He�s great."
Maria spoke up again, unwilling to leave the previous topic. "I don�t get it though Liz. What is this about?"
Liz sighed heavily. She should have known that Maria would not accept this as easily as Isabel. Maria knew her a lot better after all. She had to know that something strange was going on. "Okay. I�ll tell you the truth. But you have to promise me you�re not going to flip out."
Maria raised her hands innocently. "Liz, it�s me!"
Liz giggled, glanced at Isabel again. "Do you know, the last time I heard that was when I told her the truth about you and your brothers." She raised an eyebrow towards Maria. "Did you, or did you not, flip out in that instance?"
"Liz, I�m assuming that whatever you�re about to tell me is not on the same level as that piece of Czechoslovakian information." Maria snapped back, looking embarrassed. Suddenly her expression changed to one of horror. "Is it?"
"Well, I hope you don�t think so," Liz replied. She took a deep breath and said aloud for the first time what she had been dealing with inside for a long time. "I absolutely, positively despise my job."
There was a minute of complete silence as Isabel and Maria both stared at her.
"Is that all?" Isabel finally said.
"But�but� Liz! You have your dream job! You�re a molecular biologist at Harvard!" Maria sputtered at the same time. "What does this mean? The entire axis of my world is tilting! The universe is turning upside down!" By that last phrase Liz knew that Maria was joking. She scowled affectionately.
"Okay, okay!" Liz did feel a little offended. This was a life-changing decision she was making here after all. "It�s not on the level of finding out there�s life on other planets, I admit, but this is pretty significant for me."
Maria jumped up, threw her arm around Liz�s shoulders. "I�m sorry, Lizzie! You should have seen the expression on your face though. You looked like you were about to tell us the world was ending."
"Don�t you see?" Liz shrugged Maria�s arm away, looked at them both seriously. "For me, it is. My entire life revolves around that place. And I hate it! What does that mean about my life?" Liz had not realized until this moment how much she truly meant what she said. She was not happy at work. In fact, she was ready to make a complete break.
It scared the hell out of her. If all the dreams she had ever had had turned out so poorly, what on Earth was she going to do with the rest of her life?
"That you hate it?" Maria asked, confused.
Isabel elbowed her soundly. "Maria!" She grabbed Liz by the hand, pulled her towards the kitchen table and pushed her down on a chair, taking a seat across the table. "Liz, its okay to have doubts about your career. You�re young still. There�s plenty of time to change your mind. I think you�re making a wise decision to take advantage of your situation this week. Come to work with me. See if there could be something out there that you like better. What harm can it do?"
Liz sighed heavily. "A lot actually." She glanced towards the door leading towards the living room. "Dan is going to freak."
Isabel looked nonplused. "He is? Why?"
"He�ll never understand. Harvard is the be all and end all to him." Liz closed her eyes briefly. "He�s going to think I�m crazy."
"Let him!" Isabel replied. "Husbands need to be kept on their toes."
Liz sighed again. "You don�t understand, Isabel." She swallowed. "If I�m not working at Harvard, I don�t know if I want to live in Boston."
"Oh." Isabel�s mouth snapped shut after that single syllable. "That is a problem."
"I really miss the desert," Liz admitted. "I never though I would miss it as much as I do, but it�s true. Being back here has only reinforced it."
"But Liz," Isabel looked sympathetic, but serious. "You have to understand that marriage is about compromise. Dan might be perfectly fine with you leaving your job. But I think you might have to allow that you do pursue something else, it�s going to have to be in Boston."
"I know." And Liz did know. She just didn�t like it.
She knew she was being the epitome of selfish, but there it was. It was how she felt and she had to get it out there.
The sound of a child crying caused all the women to look towards the baby monitor sitting on the counter. Isabel glanced at the clock. "Lexi�s awake. That�s weird. I better go check on her."
"Oh! Bring her down!" Maria insisted. "It was so not fair that Jesse had put her to bed before we got here. I want to see this wonder kid you can�t stop talking about."
Isabel smiled, looked pleased to be asked. "Do you really want me to? I thought you were sick of kids."
"Kids that belong to strangers, Isabel. Not kids I know!" Maria replied. "Am I not right here Liz?"
"Totally. I would love to meet Alex�s namesake."
"Okay, I�ll just be a second." With that, she turned and hurried out of the room.
Maria turned around and grabbed Liz by the shoulders the instant Isabel was out of the room. "Okay, Liz. It�s truth time. This is about Max isn�t it?"
Liz blinked. "What? Maria, what on Earth?" She truly had no idea what Maria was talking about.
"All this talk about moving back here, leaving your dream job. You�re having second thoughts about this wedding, aren�t you?" Maria demanded. "Seeing Isabel has brought it all back and now you�ve decided to go back to pining for your soul mate. I know you."
"Maria! That�s absolutely crazy!" Liz felt a flash of anger. She had told Maria a million times that she was totally over Max Evans and it was more than true. She was in love with her fianc�. "Max has nothing to do with it. He�s on another planet for God�s sake! Why would I suddenly make a decision like this because of him?"
"Because you have exactly five days until your wedding and you are starting to freak out," Maria replied, sounding absolutely certain that she was right. "Don�t try and tell me that you haven�t always secretly dreamed that Max would come back in time to stop you. Can you honestly tell me that you�re not settling?"
"Settling for Dan?" Liz exclaimed. "Are you crazy? I�ve been dating him for three years, Maria. He�s brilliant, he�s gorgeous, he�s successful! Who in their right mind would call that settling?"
"Liz." Maria pressed her lips together. "He�s not Max Evans."
"No, Maria. He�s not. Max Evans deserted me. Max Evans is likely either dead or married to the alien skank that murdered our best friend," Liz said evenly. "I don�t know why you�re bringing all of this up right now, but I want you to stop it! Just because something happened between you and Michael� Don�t try and mess up my relationship!"
"This is so not about Michael!" Maria almost yelled back. Liz took a step backward. Was her best friend going crazy? "This is about you, Liz! Admit it! You are totally denying what you really feel. You have refused to say one word about Max since the day you left for Harvard. You�re bottling it all up and it�s not fair to Dan."
"Is everything okay in here?"
Liz whirled at the sound of her fianc�s voice. He and Jesse were standing in the doorway to the kitchen, both staring at she and Maria in dismay.
"Elizabeth?" Dan was the only person in her entire life who had called her by her full name. She continued to stare at him, not knowing what to say. He knew all about Max of course � well, minus the alien stuff � but how could she tell him that Maria was flipping out about her ex-boyfriend, for some reason that Liz still didn�t understand?
"Everything�s fine," Liz finally said, hurrying across the room and linking her arm with Dan�s. He stared at her, confusion in his green eyes. "I think we should go now. Thanks for everything Jesse. Tell Isabel I�ll see her tomorrow."
"Liz�" Maria called after her. "We�re not done here."
Liz ignored her. She needed air. Quickly. She actually felt like she was about to pass out. "Elizabeth, are you all right?" Dan was asking as he followed her.
But escape was not meant to be. As she passed by the stairs on her way to the front hallway, Isabel was just coming down, her small daughter balanced on her hip. Liz glanced up, saw Alexandra�s face, her gaze pulled directly to the little girl�s shining dark eyes, eyes that seemed wiser and more intelligent than the eyes of any one year old had the right to be.
But, the thing was, she didn�t see Isabel�s daughter at all. Because the little girl was staring back at her with Max Evans�s eyes. She was the spitting image of the boy who had deserted her, Liz, so long ago.
Liz brought her hands up to her mouth, gasping. "Oh my God. Isabel!" She felt behind her, collapsed into a straight-back chair that sat against a wall in the hallway. "How�how is this possible?"
And she knew that every single word Maria had said was true. Maria had known and she, Liz, hadn�t even realized it herself.
She was not over Max Evans.
"How is what possible?" Isabel asked, sounding confused. She looked at her daughter with concern, obviously thinking that there was something wrong with Lexi.
"She�" Liz swallowed, hard, glanced at Dan out of the corner of her eye. He looked like he thought she was going insane, which perhaps she was. "Isabel, I need to talk to you alone. Now."
"Elizabeth�"
Liz kissed him quickly on the cheek. "I�ll be right back, honey." She had a feeling she was going to pay for that later. If there was one thing Dan hated it was feeling like he was out of the loop, but she had no choice.
"Can we go upstairs?" Liz asked Max�s sister.
"Of course."
They didn�t say another word until they were back in Lexi�s nursery. Liz made sure the door was firmly closed before she said. "How could you not have warned me?"
Isabel placed the baby back in her crib, turned back, her arms crossed across her middle. "Warned you about what, Liz?" She sounded genuinely perplexed.
"Don�t you see it?" Liz demanded. "How can you not see it?" When Isabel still eyed her with concern, no sign of understanding on her pretty face, Liz almost yelled, "She looks exactly like Max! How is this possible? You were both cloned! You are not genetic siblings!"
"Oh that!" Isabel looked back at her daughter. "I guess you�re right that there�s a resemblance. I don�t really see it. I think she looks like Jesse�s mom."
"Isabel!"
"Liz, I don�t understand why you�re so upset. Michael and I just figured that Max and I had genetic donors who were related. It would make sense, don�t you think? We were brother and sister on Antar, so they decided to clone us from a brother and sister on Earth." Isabel shrugged. "Who cares? I try to forget that she looks anything like my idiot brother."
Liz brought her hands up to her temples, tried to rub away the headache that was beginning to pound away there. "I�m sorry." She sat down heavily in a rocking chair near the crib. "I just didn�t expect it. Maria was yelling at me about Max in the kitchen and then there was Lexi�" Liz stood up again, moved towards the crib and gazed down at Isabel�s daughter, who was gradually falling back to sleep. "It�s absolutely amazing," she whispered, reaching down and sweeping a black curl back off the baby�s forehead.
Liz felt her heart swell up in her chest. Was this what Max�s son had looked like as a baby? Was this what their children would have looked like, if things had turned out differently?
She felt Isabel�s hand on her shoulder. "Liz, what is this about?" She sounded concerned. "I thought you were over Max. Who cares if Lexi looks like him?"
"Don�t you ever wonder where he is, Izzy?" Liz asked, using the name Max had always used to address his sister. She saw Isabel flinch at it. Liz guessed that no one had called her that since he had left. "I mean�I do. I wonder if he�s alive. If he found his son. If he�s fighting a war with Khivar right now."
Isabel closed her eyes briefly. "I try not to wonder Liz."
"Are you ever going to forgive him, Isabel?"
"Did you?" Isabel snapped back, turning away.
Liz smiled slightly. "I think I have," she replied, knowing it was true, even if Maria had been right that maybe she wasn�t as over the memory of Max as she had insisted to herself for years. Maria had been right that being near Isabel had brought it all flooding back. There had been a reason it seemed that she had not sought out Max�s sister�s company in the years since she had left Roswell. "But I think it�s pretty clear that I haven�t tried to forget him. You have. Why?"
Liz saw a shudder pass through Isabel�s body. She turned, gripped the side of Lexi�s crib tightly. "Because if I hate him�" A sob broke through. "Then I don� t miss him so much."
"Isabel, I�m sorry." Liz sighed heavily. "I didn�t mean to upset you. Maybe it would be best if I didn�t come to the school tomorrow." Isabel turned, looked surprised. "Maria said something that I think might be accurate. Being around each other isn�t healthy. I know that seeing you has made me think about him, and I think it�s the same for you. Am I right?"
Isabel was quiet for a long moment. Finally she said, "I think it is true, Liz. But that doesn�t mean I regret it. I want you to come. I think maybe it�s time I deal with this. It�s not healthy to go through life hating my own brother."
"Or blaming yourself for him leaving," Liz added, taking a wild guess. "It wasn�t your fault that he left Isabel."
"But I hung up on him!" Isabel replied. So Liz had been right. The other woman was haunted by the fact that she had been the last to speak to her brother. Not only haunted, but guilty as well, no doubt. "It wasn�t your fault, Isabel. None of this was anyone�s fault," Liz insisted, suddenly seeing a way through this morass of guilt and pain. They had to move past this � together. The mistake they had made was in ignoring the common bond they shared, which was Max.
"I know it, Liz. It doesn�t mean I don�t still feel it," Isabel replied, rubbing a weary hand across her eyes.
Liz knew exactly what she meant. Because telling herself that she didn�t still dream about Max Evans certainly had not stopped her from doing so.
And until this moment she had not even admitted this to herself. Did it mean that she didn�t love Dan? Of course it didn�t. All it meant was that a relationship in her past had never had a chance to play itself out to its natural end. It had been stopped in it�s tracks on two separate occasions�first when she and Future Max had messed with the timeline in the fall of her junior year, and again when Max had left the planet without even saying goodbye.
Because the main problem with all of it was that, Liz knew, in her heart of hearts, that if there was absolutely any way, Max would come back for her.
But she just wasn�t strong enough to wait for that.
She didn�t want to wait for it. She had a man who loved her, one that she loved.
And she was going to marry him on Saturday, come hell or high water.
"Okay," Liz said resolutely. "We�ll deal with it then. Together."
Isabel smiled, reached out and hugged Liz. "Starting tomorrow."
As they moved to leave the room, Isabel checked on Lexi one last time. The little girl was sleeping peacefully again, her small thumb tucked into her mouth.
"She is beautiful Isabel," Liz told her. "I hope I have a daughter some day."
This caused Isabel to pause before opening the door. "Liz, what are you going to tell Dan about this? He�s bound to ask questions." She paused again and then continued, a little more tentatively. "I really like him by the way. He�" She swallowed. "I don�t know whether I should tell you this or not, but he reminds me of Max�from before, I mean," Isabel amended. "Before Tess."
Liz thought about it for a long moment. "I think you might be right. But he�s his own man. I�m going to tell him the truth�or as much of it as I can. That I�m having doubts, I mean. And we�ll work on it together."
"I�m glad you have him," Isabel said after another moment of silence. "I think Max would be too."
"I hope so."
Isabel frowned slightly, then asked quietly. "Do you think he�s still alive somewhere? I mean, I try not to think he isn�t � even when I�m my angriest at him � but�"
This question Liz could answer with absolute certainty. Because she knew the answer, knew that she would always know. Because even if Max had left her, even though he was on an entirely different planet, one of the reasons Liz had never been able to totally let go was that a tiny part of him still held on in her heart, still burned brightly, would always exist as long as he was safe and alive, as long as there was still hope that he would return someday�maybe not to her, but to everyone who loved him. "I know he is."
"You came back." Liz stared at the boy standing in the doorway to the Crashdown, a tentative expression on his face. He looked exactly the same, did not even look a day older. Everything was exactly as she remembered it, from the haircut, to the old t-shirt he had been wearing the last time she had seen him.
Well, one thing was different. His eyes were haunted, having witnessed horrors that no one should ever be subjected to�maybe having even experienced them himself.
"I had to see you," he said, his voice husky with emotion.
"You didn�t even say good-bye."
"I couldn�t. I would never have found the strength to go if I had."
"It�s too late." Liz said it quietly, firmly, knew it was the truth. His eyes darkened with pain, making her want to rush into his arms despite herself, wanting to comfort him. She moved slightly, against her will, causing the full skirt of her white gown to swing into the line of her vision. "It�s too late," she repeated, sadly this time. And she knew it was. It was her wedding day after all. She was marrying another man.
"I know." He turned, started to leave.
She swallowed, tried not to call after him, but her heart was screaming for him. "Max! Don�t leave! Please!"
But he kept walking.
"Max! Come back!"
Liz sat up with a gasp, clutching the thin sheet to her chest. She took great gulping breaths, trying to get a hold of herself. It took her a full minute to get her bearings.
The familiar shapes and shadows of her childhood bedroom began to come into focus, and with them, a sense of security and comfort. Liz threw the sheet back, stumbled across the room to the bathroom, filled a glass with water and drank it down before she even tried to get a sense of what had just happened to her.
She knew it had been a dream. She had just woken up hadn�t she?
But it had been the most realistic dream she had ever experienced. She had been able to see Max breathing, could smell him even.
Even after all this time, she remembered exactly what he smelled like. And she had tried to convince Maria that she was over him! Ha!
It was being back in Roswell that was doing this to her, seeing Isabel, talking about Michael� She had been perfectly sane, perfectly happy back in Boston, perfectly in love with a perfect guy. Max had been a distant memory.
But, here, he was back. Maybe not physically�But there was no question that he was back.
What the hell was she going to do?
You are going to go to Isabel�s school and you are going to exorcise his ghost once and for all a firm voice in the back of her head told her.
Yes. That was what she was going to do. She was going to get her life in order and she was going to be happy, even if it killed her.
As Liz showered and dressed, she sighed with relief that her parents were still old-fashioned enough to insist on separate bedrooms for she and Dan until the wedding day. They had to know that they were sleeping together � they were living together after all � but under their roof, she was still their little girl. And it was a blessing.
Because how on Earth could she explain it to her fianc� that she had woken up screaming another man�s name? And not just any man. Max�s.
Dan Riley was not an insecure person, but he knew about Max, knew how much he had meant to Liz. She had explained the essentials�that Max had saved her life once, that they had fallen in love, that Max had made a mistake and slept with another girl and had gotten her pregnant, that he and Liz had tried to make it work but that Max had ended up leaving in order to be closer to his son.
Dan also knew that if there had been no Tess, Max and Liz would still be together. Liz had refused to keep anything from the man she was going to marry. To understand who she was, he had to understand about Max.
And he did. But that didn�t mean that having her wake up screaming Max�s name would not have upset him. He was only human.
Which was one of the many reasons that Liz loved him. No alien destinies would come crawling out of the closet with Dan Riley. She was safe loving him.
It had been hard enough dealing with Dan�s reaction to the fact that she planned to spend the last few days before their wedding helping her old friend Isabel teach school.
When she had told him on the drive back to Roswell last night, he had glanced at her incredulously from his spot behind the steering wheel, clearly aware that something strange was going on with her. Maria had been in the back-seat so he hadn�t truly grilled her until they had dropped Liz�s best friend off at her mother�s and had returned back to the Crashdown.
"I just don�t get it Elizabeth." He had been sitting on her bed, concern on his face. "What is this about?"
"Well, you seem to have most of the wedding preparations under control," Liz had explained lamely. "I�m bored. I had a good time today and I love kids. Plus, it�s been great spending time with Isabel. We�ve barely seen each other since high school."
Dan had narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Elizabeth, you told me that you and Isabel never got along in high school, that the only reason you even associated with each other was because you were dating her brother."
"Er�" Okay, why had she ever told him that? He had accepted readily enough earlier when she had invited him for dinner at Isabel and Jesse�s that the two girls were trying to let bygones be bygones.
Dan had stood up, coming to pull her into his arms. "It�s okay to have the jitters, sweetie."
Liz had pulled back, smiling nervously. "I swear that�s not it." She had kissed him firmly. "I just need to get a little perspective and Isabel is helping me with that. She�s been married for a long time, Dan. She�s just giving me a little insight into what I can expect."
Dan�s expression had softened. "Okay. If it�s what you want�"
Liz still didn�t know why she hadn�t told him the truth�that she hated her job and that she was interested in seeing if teaching younger kids might be a future career path that could interest her. For some reason, she couldn�t seem to talk to him about this�maybe because she knew it would upset him. She knew that one of the things Dan loved the most about her was that they had so much in common, down to their job descriptions.
The only thing she and Max had ever had in common was the belief that they had found the other half of their souls in each other.
And he had left her anyway.
Having things in common with Dan�it was secure. She understood her connection to him. It was only when she had finally given up on Max coming back to her, the year she had left for Harvard, that she had begun to realize that what she and Max had had never been secure.
It had been passionate, volatile, exciting, but it had never been secure.
After complete heartbreak, a little security can go a long way.
She loved Dan Riley and she was going to marry him. But, first, she needed to say good-bye to Max Evans once and for all.
Even if he never knew that she had.
It was because she was late that Liz noticed the little tow-headed boy lurking at the far end of the hallway. He was standing just under the pictures Liz had examined on the wall the day before, swinging a back pack between his legs, clearly bored.
Liz frowned slightly. Shouldn�t he be in class? Had he been sent to the principal�s office as a punishment? Should she intervene?
The question was answered for her when the boy caught sight of her and brightened. "Hi! Do you know where Mrs. Ramirez�s class is?" he asked, moving towards her. Up close, Liz could see that he was about eight or nine. His blond hair caught the sun through one of the big hallway windows as he passed under it, glowing brightly until he returned to the artificial lighting closer to where she stood.
"Right here," Liz replied, smiling, indicating Isabel�s door. "Are you new?"
"Yup." He grinned at her, displaying a missing front tooth. "I�m Ben."
"I�m Liz. I�m new too," Liz told him. "A new teacher assistant," she added, because Ben looked a little confused. "Did they just leave you to find your own way around?" she asked. That seemed a little weird. He was only a kid. Someone should have shown him the way to Isabel�s classroom.
"No. I�m supposed to be waiting for Michael. He�s getting some stuff straightened up in the office. They had my last name wrong," Ben confided. "But I�m really bored. My dad told me I was going to like school, but so far�" He trailed off, looking incredulous. "Michael told me it was all a lie that parents tell you to disguise how bad it really is and I�m beginning to believe him."
Liz tried to hide her smile at the sudden outrage in the boy�s voice. "Ah. Well, maybe you can go tell Michael that I can go in with you if you�d like? So at least you don�t have to wait any longer? Because I think your dad is right. You�ll like Mrs. Ramirez," Liz suggested. Just as she said it, the principal�s door beside which Ben had been standing opened and a tall man came out.
Liz blinked. Unless she had completely lost her mind, she knew this Michael.
Michael Guerin stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of her. "Liz! What the he�" He glanced down at Ben, who had hurried to join him and was now gazing up at him adoringly. "Er, I mean, how the heck are you?" he finished lamely.
"You guys know each other?" Ben asked, sounding interested.
"Michael? What�s going on?" Liz demanded, glancing at Ben.
"Neighbor�s kid," Michael stated bluntly. "He had to work so I said I�d bring the kid in. He was just transferred and couldn�t get off. Plus since I know Iz so well, it seemed like a good idea."
"That�s not what I meant," Liz muttered. But Michael wasn�t listening to her. He was glaring at Ben.
"Didn�t your dad tell you not to talk to strangers, kid?" He glanced back at Liz uncomfortably. Liz frowned slightly. Something odd was going on here.
"She�s not a stranger. She�s a teacher assistant," Ben argued back. "I know her name. And you know her, right?"
"That�s not the point, kid."
"Michael, what are you doing here?" Liz asked suddenly. "Maria said you were back in L.A."
"Change of plans," Michael replied non-committally. "What are you doing here anyway? Don�t you have wedding stuff to take care�"
He was cut off though as Ben exclaimed, "Hey! You know Maria! My dad and Michael talk about her all the time." Ben�s face lit up, as a sudden thought came to him. "Do you know my dad?"
Michael grabbed Ben, placing his hand firmly over the little boy�s mouth. "Of course she doesn�t know your dad, kid." Michael shrugged in Liz�s direction. "His dad and I are buds. Neighbors. He likes hockey."
Liz stared at him. Michael appeared on the verge of a nervous breakdown. She literally saw him wipe a bead of sweat off his upper lip as the door behind them opened.
"Hey! What�s all the noise out here?" Isabel�s voice asked sternly before she stepped out into the hallway. She left the door open, glancing over her shoulder at the children she had left in the classroom, who were all working quietly at their desks. Her eyes widened in shock and she screeched in delight at the sight of Michael. "Michael! What are you doing here?" She threw her arms around him. Liz could hear the students in the classroom starting to whisper and giggle at their teacher�s behavior.
"New kid. Neighbor. Here he is." Michael grabbed Ben by the shoulders, pushed him lightly towards Isabel. "I�ll be back for him after school. We�ll talk then Iz." And with that, he turned on his heel and stalked away. If Liz was not mistaken, he shook his shaggy head in dismay before he disappeared out the main doors down the hall.
"What on Earth was that all about?" Isabel asked, perplexed.
Liz turned to look at Ben, who suddenly looked a little scared. "I have no idea. But this is Ben," Liz introduced.
"Hi Ben. I�m Mrs. Ramirez. I heard you were coming." Isabel�s tone changed from suspicious to welcoming as she greeted her new student. "Where are you from?"
"Los Angeles," Ben replied. Liz felt a pang of sympathy for him as he moved slightly away from Isabel and towards Liz. Isabel raised an eyebrow at her.
"We�ve already bonded," Liz explained. "Both new and all." She felt something warm stir in her heart as Ben reached out and took her hand. This child was a strange m�lange of maturity and childishness. While he had seemed fairly outgoing earlier, now he was a scared little boy, looking for something familiar.
"Oh, I see," Isabel nodded, smiled at Ben. "Well, maybe you and Liz can muddle through together today then. How�s that sound?"
"Good," Ben said.
"Okay, then why don�t you go and put your bag and your jacket on that hook over there and Liz and I�ll get a desk set up for you," Isabel instructed. Ben glanced at Liz, but finally nodded and moved slowly away.
"What�s this all about, Liz?" Isabel hissed as they moved into the classroom together. "Michael has clearly been in town for a while and he never called me?" She sounded hurt and annoyed at the same time. "Not to mention, just showing up here with some strange kid?"
"I have no idea what�s going on," Liz whispered back. "But you can bet that I�m going to find out for Maria�s sake. Because my guess is that this all has something to do with the reason they broke up."
"Count on my help," Isabel returned before smiling brightly at Ben as he came back to join them. She turned to the class as a whole. "This is Ben everyone. He�s from Los Angeles and he just moved to New Mexico." She indicated Liz. "And you all remember Miss Parker. She�s going to be helping out around here for a couple of days. You were all so charming yesterday, she couldn�t get enough," Isabel joked. Liz admired the comfortable way she interacted with her kids, it being clear that this was a place where students felt safe and appreciated.
The class giggled before chanting, "Hi Ben. Hi Miss Parker."
Liz felt the glow of belonging return, smiled. This was going to be great. She didn�t care if her fianc� and her best friend thought she was going crazy. She knew that this was where she was meant to be. "Ready to settle in partner?" she asked Ben, who was still half-hidden behind her back.
Ben smiled back. "Ready."
Liz frowned as he walked away from her, towards the desk Isabel had assigned him. There had been something familiar in that smile, something from long ago�
She shook her head, wondering if she was going crazy. She was seeing signs in everything these days. If she didn�t watch it, she was going to be committed to the loony bin before she ever had a chance to marry Dan.
Liz shrugged and followed her new charge.
"It was a disaster Maxwell!" Michael exclaimed, flopping back on the couch, one arm thrown over his eyes. "A complete disaster."
"What happened?" Max demanded, still standing where he had greeted Michael at the door to the apartment, waiting to hear how Ben had done at school. "Did he not like it? Where is he? Did Isabel suspect something?"
"It�s worse than that�" Michael moaned. "Liz. She was there."
Max blinked. That was the last thing he had expected to hear. If Michael had told him that Khivar had been waiting for Ben at the school, he would have been less surprised.
And Khivar was dead. Max had killed him with his own hands.
"What the hell was Liz doing there?" Max asked, falling back into a chair, his legs suddenly weak.
Liz was here. In Albuquerque. At his son�s school.
She was supposed to be in Roswell getting married.
Max had awoken that morning, remembering his vivid dream of Liz, remembering the flash of determination that had claimed him in the middle of the night�that he was going to win her back.
In the light of day though, he had come to his senses, had remembered exactly why he was going to leave her alone.
She loved her fianc�. She had built a happy life for herself without him, in fact her dream life�molecular biology at Harvard and everything. He had abandoned her. She was no longer his.
He had to leave her alone.
And he planned to.
But could it mean something that she had suddenly shown up at his son�s school five days before her wedding? What on Earth was she doing there?
"I have no idea," Michael complained. "I got out of there as fast as I could. Oh crap." Michael groaned again. "This means Maria�s going to know I�m here."
Max wasn�t listening though. Another thought had just occurred to him. If Liz was in Albuquerque with Isabel, that meant that her fianc� was probably in Roswell�alone.
And suddenly Max knew exactly what he had to do.
"You do realize this is probably, hands down, the worst idea you have ever had Maxwell?" Michael asked wearily from the passenger seat. "And that is saying a lot my friend."
"You said that when we left. And an hour ago. And two minutes ago. You didn�t have to come," Max retorted, making a sharp turn onto Roswell�s main drag.
"Yes I did," Michael replied, resigned. "I had to make sure that you didn�t do something even stupider than this." Max snorted. Michael continued, "I mean, really. This is your idea of keeping a low profile? Heading straight to the town where half the world knows who you are and that your parents, family and friends haven�t seen you in almost ten years?"
"I told you I have a plan. And you�re just worried Maria�s going to find you," Max shot back. "Because you know if she finds you, she�s going to demand some sort of explanation."
"I�ve accepted that she�s already on my trail, Maximillian." Michael shook his head sadly. "The minute Liz saw me, it was game over. It�s only a matter of time now."
"Have you even thought about what you�re going to say to her when it happens?" Max demanded. "Stone walls are not an option this time."
"Why the hell are you worried about my problems?" Michael almost yelled. "Don�t you have enough of your own?"
Max shrugged. "Realistically�no. Other than Ben, of course, and he�s not a problem. I don�t have much of a say in what Liz is planning to do." Max could feel Michael staring at him incredulously.
"So then why the desperate need to see the guy? What are you planning to do � walk up to him and introduce yourself? I think that your many trips through hyperspace have permanently fried your brains Maxwell. You don�t think that�ll get back to Liz?"
Max narrowed his eyes. "I have a feeling that the last thing Dan Riley is going to want to do is tell Liz I�m back."
"And if he does?" Michael questioned.
"Well, then he does and Liz gets to decide if she wants to see me or not," Max replied. He tried not to think about how it would feel if she decided she didn�t want to see him.
If she knew of course. Which she wouldn�t.
"Besides," Max added. "I�m not planning to meet the guy. I just want to check him out. And even if I do meet him, he won�t recognize me."
"This is a really bad idea," Michael muttered, but he slouched down in the seat and said nothing more.
Max pulled the car to a stop behind the UFO Museum, which was still operating apparently. Climbing out, he hooked a thumb towards it. "Brody?" He asked Michael absently, wondering if his old friend was still around.
"Yeah, he�s still here. Sydney is living with him now. She�s at West Roswell. Maria sees him whenever she�s in town," Michael finished darkly.
"Jeez." Max shook his head. "It�s news like that that reminds me of how long I�ve been gone." And the fact that his soul mate was marrying someone else of course. Couldn�t forget about that one.
As the two men carefully poked their heads around the side of the building, Michael muttered, "You know, Maxwell, I haven�t done much skulking since you�ve been gone. I can�t say that I�ve missed it."
"I don�t blame you, Michael. You always managed to get yourself arrested whenever you did it," Max retorted.
"Touch�." Michael smirked. "But I wasn�t the one with the bright idea of committing out-and-out armed robbery." He was quiet for a moment. "Okay, I changed my mind. Maybe this isn�t quite the worst idea you�ve ever had."
Max ignored him though. His eyes were on the familiar doors of the Crashdown across the street. Memories came pouring back as he stared at the site of so many significant moments in his human life.
It was where he had spent half of his young adulthood in silent worship of Liz Parker. It was where he had risked his entire existence and that of his sister and best friend to save her life because of that worship � and because he had already been bonded to her in a way beyond his wildest dreams � not that he�d known it then. It was where he had first connected with her, where he had told her that he would never give up on her, that they were meant to be together, that he was "coming for her."
He was standing almost exactly in the spot where he had first kissed Tess�the day his relationship with Liz had first started its decline, until it had reached its last desperate days, both of them trying so hard to hold onto each other, but, in the end, losing everything.
Right across the road was the place where he had kissed Liz goodbye before he and Michael and Isabel and Tess had been supposed to leave in the granolith.
In some sad way, he almost wished that he had left then. At least he had told her how much he loved her�
But if he had left then, he would be dead. He had not been strong enough then, had not known Tess�s truly treacherous nature.
He was pulled from his thoughts by a rough nudge from Michael. "Are we going to stand here all day and just stare at the place?" Michael demanded. "Or are you going to start your famous plan?"
Max turned, raised his hand towards his friend. He passed it the length of Michael�s body, changing his hair color, the shape of his nose, even the style of his clothing.
His time on Antar had not been in vain. Max had learned more about their powers than he had ever hoped he could in the time he had been searching for Ben. The molecular structure of anything could be changed�even people. If you knew how to do it that was. While the Royal Four were not shape shifters, they could disguise themselves enough so as to pass for completely different people.
Not that Max ever intended to teach Michael how to do it. His best friend would likely blow them all up by accident. New powers were not his forte, after all.
Besides, one decision Max had made upon his return to Earth was that Michael and Isabel never needed to know some of the things they were capable of, some of the things Max had been forced to do to bring Ben back and to liberate their planet. They deserved to live their normal human lives�especially his sister, who had a husband she loved and a little girl to protect. Michael would be pissed if he knew Max was keeping things from him, but what he didn�t know, wouldn�t hurt him.
Max had told Michael that Khivar was dead. It was all that he needed to know.
Michael was staring at himself in the side mirror of the beat-up Jeep Cherokee Max had bought last week. He was shaking his head in wonder. "I look like a stockbroker, Maxwell. How the hell did you do that?"
Max passed his hand over his own hair, face and clothes, grinning. "Magic."
"Too bad we never had these tricks in the old days," Michael commented.
"Just be glad we never really needed them." Max countered.
On Antar, Max would have been dead fifty times over if he hadn�t managed to blend. His face had been the most recognizable on the planet after all, even more so than Khivar�s. Being hunted by Khivar�s minions�it made Pierce, the Special Unit and the Skins, all together, seem like a walk on the beach.
But he had succeeded in the end.
Zan the King. Zan the Savior. Zan the Avenger.
Zan the Solitary. Zan the Lonely.
Well, he wasn�t Zan anymore.
He was back to being Max Evans, his true self, and Max Evans was going to get a glimpse of Liz Parker�s fianc� if it was the last thing he ever did.
"Let�s go. Act casual," Max instructed.
"Act casual." Michael snorted. "Whatever."
The familiar sound of the Crashdown bell ringing as they walked through the door reminded Max briefly of his dream the night before. He almost expected Liz to be standing at the end of the counter, staring at him, her expression angry, but her eyes revealing that, more than anything, she was hurt.
Max knew about timelines. The whole Future Max fiasco had more than revealed that there was more than one way any reality could go. That dream had been so realistic, he was convinced that it had happened. Just in another life.
He craved that life, wondered what had happened between he and Liz in that reality. Had they stayed together? Had they been happy?
Had she realized her dreams or had she been stuck in Roswell with him, waiting for some alien destiny that might never have come? Had he never found Ben? Had his son been stranded with his evil mother and Max�s worst enemy, one who was in no way Ben�s enemy?
There was no point in what-ifs. All they had now were what-weres.
What was right now was that Mr. Parker was standing behind the counter, going over a menu with a tall, blond guy. Liz�s dad looked older. His hair was almost gray now and he had a lot more lines on his face�but he seemed relaxed, at ease.
He had clearly returned to being the easygoing guy he had always been before he had been desperate to keep Max away from Liz.
But why shouldn�t he be? His little girl was marrying a dream�a molecular biologist yet. Likely not one single criminal act in his background.
Max felt a pang of sadness for the days when he had been on the path to growing up to be that guy. Before Pierce. Before Nicholas. Before Tess. He would have been a doctor instead of a molecular biologist, but at one time, he would have been the Parker�s dream catch for their daughter too.
Max didn�t even need to hear it from Michael to know that the blond guy was Dan Riley. The rapport that existed between he and Jeff pretty much said it all. Mr. Parker was interacting with him like he was already a part of the family.
Max narrowed his eyes, trying not to stare, followed Michael to a booth.
The decor in the Crashdown had changed a little�a few more alien artifacts sprinkled around, a new top on the counter, but all in all, it was the same. Max stared for a long moment at the spot where he had healed Liz, the spot where he had revealed his secret to her and had started their great love affair.
The great love affair was over. Max tried not to glare at the guy who was marrying his soul mate. He tried not to hate him.
It was impossible. Because he already hated him. Just looking at him made Max feel sick to his stomach.
It reminded him slightly of the way he had used to feel whenever he saw Liz talking to Kyle Valenti, before he and Liz had ever gotten together. But this was about a million times worse. Because Liz loved this guy. Kyle had only ever been a high school boyfriend. He had ended up liking Kyle, although Max had always known that Kyle had never really liked him.
Max was never going to like Dan Riley. Ever.
"Stop trying to kill him with your alien death ray eyes, Maxwell. They�re going to notice," Michael complained, thrusting a menu at Max. "Here. Read this."
Max scowled, scanned the menu, not really taking anything in.
This had been a terrible idea. What the hell had he been thinking? How could he have imagined that this would make him feel better�seeing the man Liz was going to spend the rest of her life with?
Max barely noticed as a teen-aged waitress took their order. "We�re going to need Tabasco," Michael yelled after her. Both Jeff Parker and Dan turned to stare at them for a moment. Max rolled his eyes, kicked Michael under the table.
"Ow! Well, we are!" Liz�s dad and her fianc� returned to their conversation.
"Shut up," Max ordered. "I�m trying to listen."
The restaurant was pretty empty. It was late for breakfast, early for lunch, and so Max could eavesdrop fairly easily because Michael had chosen the booth closest to the counter.
"�.teaching school on some lark," Dan was saying. His voice grated on Max�s nerves like fingernails on a chalkboard. He ordered himself to stop being petty and to pay attention.
"It�s not like Lizzie to do anything on a lark Dan," Jeff replied. "Did you ask her what this was about?"
Dan sighed heavily. "I tried, but Elizabeth just said that she was trying to get along with her friend Isabel, that it was a way for them to get closer and that Isabel was giving her marriage tips."
"Isabel Evans?" Jeff demanded. "Really? That�s a little strange." He paused for a minute, looking a little suspicious. "Lizzie and she have never been friends. I wonder what that�s all about."
"Well, I quite liked Isabel when I met her." Dan shrugged. "But I just wish Elizabeth would stop playing around in Albuquerque and come back here so that we can get the plans firmed up."
Max was forced to refocus on Michael when his friend suddenly moaned. "Oh God. We are so dead Maxwell. Maria just walked in."
Max looked over his shoulder, saw that it was true. Maria Deluca was striding into the restaurant like she owned the place. His eyes widened at the sight of his old friend. Her hair was cut short again and she was wearing a low-cut blouse that the old Maria would not have been caught dead in. The Maria Max had known had been all-retro, all the time. This was a woman secure in her sexuality�in fact, playing on it. It was a change that made Max slightly uncomfortable. He wondered if this was one of the problems between Michael and Maria�the fact that she in no way seemed like the weepy girlfriend anymore.
This was an independent woman�one who probably wasn�t willing to take any of Michael�s crap any longer.
Max could see Michael�s panic, tried to calm him down. "She�s not going to recognize us. Just stop calling me by my name and we�ll be fine."
"Hi dudes!" Maria did not even glance in their direction, just went over to Mr. Parker and hugged him, keeping her arm around his waist as she addressed Dan. "Any sign of Kyle? He�s supposed to meet me here for lunch."
"I haven�t seen him," Dan replied, looking a little pained if Max was not mistaken. It appeared that Liz�s fianc� was not exactly enamored of Maria. "But then I might not recognize him, being as I�ve only met him once."
"Good point," Maria chirped, not seeming to notice the long-suffering tone of Dan�s voice, and sounding so much like herself at eighteen that Max wondered if he had been mistaken in his earlier assessment of her changes. "Well, try and get by without me fellas! I�m going to go harass Jos� until he gets here."
"Jos� still works here?" Max asked Michael in a low voice, amazed.
"I know," Michael smirked. "I got out of that kitchen as soon as I could. That guy loves it here though."
Max watched Maria pause at the swinging door that led to the kitchen as a little girl approached her for an autograph. She signed off with a flourish, quirking a friendly grin and then disappeared into the back.
"Is she always like that?" Dan was saying to Jeff, sounding annoyed. Max saw Michael tense across the table.
"Who? Maria?" Jeff asked, affectionately. "Pretty much."
Max saw Dan try to hide his grimace, but he wasn�t very successful. Max narrowed his eyes.
"Is that guy insulting my girlfriend?" Michael demanded in an undertone.
"I�m not sure," Max replied.
"I�ve changed my mind. He�s not a nice guy," Michael said, glowering in Dan�s direction as Liz�s fianc� sat down on a stool and began checking things off on a piece of paper. "He�s actually a bit of a prick, isn�t he?"
Max watched Jeff Parker for a moment. Liz�s dad was eyeing Dan, a speculative expression on his face, like he wanted to ask him something. Finally he said, "Say, Dan, when you were at Isabel�s�" He paused, waiting for Dan to look up. "Isabel didn�t happen to mention her brother did she?"
"Who? The famous Max Evans?" Dan�s expression darkened. "No." He stared at Jeff for a moment. "Wait a minute� You don�t think that that jerk might be back and that�s why Liz wants to spend time with his sister?"
"I wonder." Jeff shrugged. "I doubt it though. Max Evans hasn�t been heard of in close to ten years."
"But might he not try and come back to screw up Elizabeth�s happiness?" Dan asked, sounding nervous. "I know how much they meant to each other and that he was pretty possessive," he added. "Maybe he doesn�t want her, but he doesn�t want anyone else to have her either."
"Down boy," Michael whispered urgently. Max was glad he said it because he felt his blood beginning to boil. This guy had absolutely no idea what Liz meant to him. That he should so cavalierly toss around the idea that he would come back and try and destroy Liz�s life�
But isn�t that exactly what will happen if she knows you�re back, a small voice in the back of his head asked.
She doesn�t know. She won�t know, Max insisted.
And yet, he was still angry.
He knew that no one would believe how much he loved her, after all he had done to her - first putting her life in danger because of who he was, then believing that she was capable of betraying him with Kyle, even though he knew better, and then betraying her in the ultimate way with Tess.
This was leaving out the fact that he had also left her without even saying good-bye.
But Liz Parker was his soul. The thought of her, the memory of her was what had pulled him through his darkest moments on Antar. The idea that someday he might be able to return to her�it was what had kept him alive on many occasions where the chances of success had seemed bleak. It had kept him moving forward, helped him keep focus in his search for Ben.
He was glad that he had never doubted on Antar that she would wait for him. If he had known then that she would have moved on, he never would have made it.
Max blinked as the waitress plunked their plates down in front of them. He stared down at the Men in Black special with distaste.
"I need Tabasco!" Michael yelled after the waitress impatiently. She returned and handed him the bottle, watching in disgust as he started to dump the contents on his food.
It was just then that Maria came whirling through the swinging door from the kitchen. Her eyes zeroed in on Michael, looking nothing like Michael of course, but with Tabasco bottle in hand, and she stopped abruptly. Max grimaced.
Uh oh.
He breathed a sigh of relief as she was distracted by the bell over the door announcing a new arrival.
"Kyle! Hi!"
It took all of Max�s willpower not to turn around to get a glimpse of his old rival. He picked up his burger took a bite, watching Kyle appear in his line of vision.
Max almost choked on his food.
Kyle Valenti was dressed in the full uniform of a member of the Roswell Police Department.
Michael grinned at him, clearly amused by his reaction. "I call him Deputy Dawg all the time to piss him off," he muttered towards Max.
"How did this happen?" Max whispered back. "I thought the last thing he ever intended to do was go into law enforcement! Why didn�t you tell me this?"
"I wanted to see the expression on your face when you saw him. It�s the family business Ma�" Max raised his eyebrow at Michael, who cut himself off before he said Max�s name. "When he married Sarah, he needed a steady paycheck. It didn�t hurt that Valenti was the mayor by then and was able to pull a few strings."
He was so distracted, it took Max a moment to realize that Kyle and Maria were now sitting at the counter, whispering to each other and glancing over their shoulders in the general direction of the booth in which Max and Michael were sitting.
Uh oh. Again.
"Don�t freak," Max instructed quietly. "But I think Maria�s suspicious. We need to get out of here�now." Michael�s eyes widened over his cheeseburger. He set it down carefully, clearly trying not to glance towards the counter. "Let�s just get up, pay and leave. I�ve seen enough anyway." He nodded in Dan�s direction. He didn�t have time to fully reflect on his impressions of Liz�s future husband right now, but he knew he hated him.
It was enough.
Michael licked his lips and complied, leaving a tip on the table.
Max did not relax at all until they were back in the Cherokee and on the highway back to Albuquerque.
"I think it was the Tabasco that did it," he told Michael in disgust. "You couldn�t just leave it alone for once?"
"Maxwell, what is the point of eating without Tabasco?" Michael retorted, but he sounded ill at ease under his general pissed off tone.
"Well, that was too close." Max sighed, leaning his head back against the seat and sighing. He and Michael did not exchange another word on the long drive.
Max brooded about Dan the whole way, wondering what he was going to do. He might not have liked what he had seen of the guy, but everyone else seemed gaga over him. Mr. Parker, Maria� Even Michael, until his loyalty to Max had won out and he had heard Dan semi-insult Maria.
Max hated to admit it, but the guy was perfect in every way. Or at least he came across that way.
Dammit.
When they got back to the apartment late in the afternoon, it was almost time for Michael to go pick up Ben.
"What am I going to say to Izzy?" Michael demanded as he put his jacket back on and moved towards the door.
Max was lying on the couch, a pillow over his head, a million potential ways of finding out more information on Dan Riley circulating through his brain. "Just tell her the truth. That you and Maria broke up and that you came back here to get your head together."
"I guess that�ll work." Michael sounded doubtful though. Max heard him pull open the door.
Max was simply staring at her in horror, waiting for her to see him.
Kyle noticed him first, stopping dead, his mouth literally falling open. A small, strangled noise came out of his throat.
"Kyle?" Maria whirled on him in annoyance. "What�s wrong with you? You told me that you would help me! I can�t believe�"
She was following Kyle�s line of vision. Max felt like time was going in slow motion as her head slowly turned and her eyes met his.
"Max?" Maria gasped, her face turning white.
Liz glanced at the clock, then back at Isabel who was sitting at her desk marking papers. "I�m getting a little worried, Isabel." She was standing at the window, staring out at Ben, who was sitting on the grass in front of the school, patiently waiting for Michael to pick him up. "Michael hasn�t arrived yet."
Whoever this neighbor of Michael�s was, he clearly had yet to learn that Michael Guerin was not the most responsible baby-sitter in the world.
Isabel looked up, a frown marring her beautiful face. "Is he still out there?" She stood up, came to join Liz at the window. The two women continued to watch the little blond boy for several moments. "He did well today, didn�t he?" Isabel asked. When Liz nodded, Isabel continued, "I�ve never seen a kid so brilliant in math before. I gave him an aptitude test and he aced it�even some high school level questions."
"But he�s still a kid," Liz remarked. "The other boys think he�s great. I saw them all playing with him at recess. I couldn�t make out what they were doing, but he had them enthralled with something."
Isabel nodded. "Hockey cards I think. He�s going to fit in just fine. I�m going to tell him to come wait in here. It�s not safe for a little boy out there all by himself." She shook her head ruefully. "This is why I have never left Michael alone with Lexi."
Liz called after her, "Wait! Why don�t I just walk him home? He has to live in this neighborhood if he�s registered here� doesn�t he?"
Isabel shrugged. "Yes. But are you sure, Liz?"
"Yeah. Then you can ream Michael out when he gets here and get caught up with him afterward." Liz smiled. "Don�t forget. You�re digging for information. Plus, I wouldn�t mind having a little chat with Ben, seeing how he feels after his first day."
Isabel grinned. "You�ve got this teacher stuff down pat already, Parker."
Liz blushed with pleasure. "I had a great day, Isabel. Thanks so much for letting me come."
She had had a wonderful day. She had loved every minute of it, from helping Isabel give a spelling test, to working in a small group with some kids who needed help with their reading. The way their eyes lit up when they understood something�it was the closest thing Liz had experienced to instant gratification in a job.
For the first time, in a long time, she had actually felt like she was doing something important, something that really made a difference.
And the best part of the whole thing was that it had actually kept her mind off of Max Evans for the entire day. That had to be saying something.
Harvard and Boston seemed to be less attractive to her every time she thought about them though, which was a problem. She still had no idea how she was going to tell Dan that she really did not want to go back to her present job after the wedding. He was not going to be happy.
"Hey, I should be thanking you," Isabel protested. She turned back to her papers. "I�ll see you at home in a while."
Liz nodded, picked up her jacket and purse and hurried out of the building.
She paused for a moment as her eyes settled on the Ben. He was occupying himself in a typical kid way�his arms were twisted around each other and then were looped over his neck. He looked like a pretzel. She laughed, remembering how proud Alex had always been of himself whenever he managed to contort his body into some new formation. Of course, Alex had still been doing that kind of stuff in high school.
Well, it had always confirmed to she and Maria what they had always known anyway. Boys were weird, Alex in particular. It was why they had loved him so much. It was why she still missed him with a deep, dull ache that never went away.
"Hey!" she called to Ben.
He looked up, a smile breaking out across his face. "Hi Liz!" They had agreed that he would call her Miss Parker in class but that when they were alone he could call her Liz�since they were both the "newbies" and all. Liz had bonded with this kid because of it and she had seen him looking at her several times during the day, to make sure that he was doing things right.
If she hadn�t known better, she almost would have thought that this was the first time Ben had ever been in school. But he was so polite and so smart, she knew that that couldn�t have been true.
"No sign of your ride yet?" she asked quietly.
Ben�s smile faltered a bit. "I don�t get it. My dad would never leave me just sitting here. Something must have happened to him or Michael." Liz felt her heart go out to him, knew that she was going to kill Michael the next time she saw him.
"Well, do you feel like going for a walk with me?" Liz asked. "I can walk you home if you like."
Ben looked doubtful. "I want to but I�m not sure�"
"You do know the way?"
"Sure," Ben said, with that typical eight-year-old arrogance. "It�s just that my dad told me not to go anywhere until Michael came to get me."
"Your dad�s careful, which is good," Liz replied. "But he probably doesn�t know Michael nearly as well as I do. If he�s not here yet, he�s not coming."
"My dad has known him since grade four." Ben�s expression was confused. "At least that�s what he told me. They were the same age as me when they met."
"Really?" Liz was interested. "That means your dad probably went to school in Roswell." She reflected on how quickly Michael had denied that Liz knew Ben�s father that morning. She was about to ask him what his dad�s name was when she noticed a car heading towards them, going so quickly, the tires were squealing.
She rolled her eyes. That had to be Michael. But as the car approached, Liz realized that it wasn�t slowing down. In fact, it seemed to be speeding up. She realized that Ben was standing far too close to the curb. The car was swerving, something obviously seriously wrong with the driver.
"Ben!" Liz shrieked, moving forward and grabbing him just as the car ran over the curb, passing through the spot where the child had been standing only seconds before.
Liz had fallen over onto the grass, pulling Ben down with her. She sat up, stared after the car in shock. It was screeching around the corner at the far end of the quiet street upon which the school was located. "Are you okay, sweetie?" she asked, pulling him against her side. She could see the terror in his blue eyes as he stared at her, clearly not comprehending what had almost happened to him, but knowing that he had had a narrow escape.
"I want to go home." His eyes began to fill with tears. Liz could see Isabel running across the grass towards them, yelling her name, clearly having witnessed the whole thing through her classroom window.
Liz stood up, pulled Ben up with her, hugged him tightly. "It�s okay. I�ll take you home. You�re okay."
But as she continued to stare in the direction where the car had disappeared, she wondered if she was telling him the truth.
Because the more she thought about it, the more it had seemed to her that that car had wanted to hit Ben. It had appeared like a near-miss accident, but Liz�s sixth sense was telling her that this was something much more.
It was time to meet Ben�s father and figure out what the heck was going on with this kid.
"Oh my God. Is it really you?" Max stood up as Maria rushed across the room and threw her arms around him. "You�re alive!"
"It�s me." He hugged her back, knowing that there was nothing else to do. She knew, which meant that Liz was going to know. And soon.
"You big idiot!" She turned to glare at Michael. "This is what you�ve been keeping from me? Isn�t it?"
She whirled, bringing Max in on her sudden anger. "Why are you in Albuquerque? Why aren�t you in Roswell with your family? Why haven�t you seen Isabel? Or�" She smacked him lightly on the arm. "Or Liz!" She threw her hands up in the air in fury. "I can�t believe you guys! You are such jerks!" She pulled a cell phone out of her purse, started dialing. "Well, this is easily rectified�"
"Maria�" Michael moved forward, a pained expression on his face.
"Don�t you Maria me!" she snapped. "I am going to kill you as soon as I get off this phone."
Michael didn�t stop though. He grabbed the phone out of his girlfriend�s hand and glowered at her. "You have no idea what�s going on around here, so I suggest you listen before you start messing with everything!" he yelled.
Maria stared at him for full minute, then turned to Max again. "How are you here?" she asked, sounding more reasonable again. Max almost couldn�t stop himself from grinning. Hurricane Deluca, changing directions in a split second, just like always.
"Spaceship," he replied. "Ben and I escaped in one about a year ago."
Kyle raised his hands at this. "Hold it!" He shook his head, brought his hands down to his face and scrubbed. "Spaceship? Are you telling me that you actually landed a spaceship on this planet and no one noticed?"
Max shrugged. "We were cloaked."
Maria waved her hand in the air in annoyance. "Who cares about spaceships? Who is this Ben?"
"Ben is my son," Max told her simply. "And I�m back because this is my home. It�s his too."
More than they would ever know in fact.
Maria and Kyle exchanged a look. "Where�s�" Kyle swallowed. "Where is his mother?"
Max wondered how long it would take someone to ask him that. They couldn�t even say her name. He didn�t blame them.
He had never hated anyone as much as he hated Ben�s mother. But it had never stopped him from loving that little boy with every part of his heart.
"She�s dead." What he didn�t add was that Max had had to kill her himself, that he had had no choice�that she had been on the verge of killing her own son and the only way to stop her had been to end her life.
But that was something he tried not to think about. She was Ben�s mother after all and he was going to have to someday explain to his son exactly what had happened to Tess Harding. He was not looking forward to it.
"Is�is he normal?" Maria asked. "I mean, I thought he couldn�t survive in this atmosphere."
"He�s a healthy, normal eight-year-old," Max replied. "Tess lied," he added. "She lied about a lot of things as it turned out."
Maria�s eyes closed briefly. Max knew she was thinking about Alex. He took a deep breath.
So they still missed him. He should have known they would. He missed him too and they hadn�t even been that close. Alex Whitman�s death had been the greatest tragedy of any of their lives because he had represented all that was best and brightest about their small band. The rest of them had had flaws. Alex Whitman had had none. He had been loyal and brave and he had paid for it with his life.
It was because of Alex�s memory that Max could not regret Tess�s death. It might have been an accident, but she had deliberately used and abused the one person who had least deserved it. And, for that reason, her son was better off without her. Max would do everything in his power to make sure that Ben never missed her.
Once, before he had literally come back to Earth, to the reality that life had gone on without him here, he had hoped that Liz Parker would have replaced Tess in Ben�s life. But that was just a dream, a fantasy, a fairy story that had no substance and was not meant to be.
Max was going to have to be enough.
It was in that instant that he realized that no one had gone to pick Ben up. "Michael! You need to go!" Max glanced at his watch in horror. It was almost a half hour past the time when school ended. They had been so distracted by Maria and Kyle�s arrival, they had completely forgotten about his son. What kind of father was he?
Michael�s eyes widened. "Oh crap!" He turned to hurry out the door.
Maria whirled. "Where do you think you�re going buster?" she demanded, moving to grab his arm. "You still have some explaining to do."
"Later." Michael shook her off.
Maria screeched in annoyance, but the expression on her face showed that she was more hurt than anything�that something as significant as Max coming home had happened and Michael had kept it from her.
The door slammed behind Michael and an uncomfortable silence descended over the group.
"I asked him not to tell you, Maria," Max said, hoping to smooth things over a bit before Michael returned. The last thing he had ever wanted to do was disrupt his friends� lives with his return. He knew that Michael and Maria had bigger problems than the secret of his return, but apparently this had not helped matters any.
"I gathered that, but it�s still no excuse. I just don�t understand why, Max." Maria sat down on the couch, leaning back wearily, all the anger draining out of her.
"I agree," Kyle spoke up. He had been strangely quiet, as though he didn�t feel like he truly belonged there, in this reunion between a group that had meant everything to each other.
"I�" Max ran a hand through his cropped hair, hair that he had cut as soon as he had returned to Earth. He had let it grow long on Antar, because that had been the fashion there, but he liked it better short. It made him feel more human this way. "I knew that I hurt everyone enough when I left. I needed to get the lay of the land, needed to know if me waltzing back into everyone�s lives � with an eight-year-old kid yet � was too much." He paused. "And then I heard about Liz�and I decided that showing up in her life again � now � when she�s about to get married, it just wasn�t fair."
"Now he thinks about others," Kyle muttered. Max eyed him for a moment, knew that Kyle was remembering all the times Max had ignored what was best for his friends, had pushed ahead with whatever plan he had come up with, dealing with consequences only after it was too late to change anything. Healing Liz. Sleeping with Tess. Taking off with Langley. He had acted before thinking on all of those occasions and had almost destroyed the lives of all he held most dear in the process all three times.
"It�s not your decision Max." Maria was glaring at Kyle, but Max could see that she was mainly in agreement with him, maybe just not with his tone. "Isabel and Liz both have the right to know that you�re back and you have to accept that you�re going to have to take whatever revenge or anger or guilt they might want to dish out."
Kyle was still standing, staring at Max. "She�s right," he stated. "Even if I thought you were a selfish idiot, Evans, I never took you for a coward. Not in the old days."
Max felt as though he had been punched, which was followed by a rage so deep, he had to clench his fists to keep from attacking Kyle.
A coward! How dare he? Kyle Valenti had no idea of the meaning of the word. He had not gone through the eight years of hell Max had gone through�eight years alone, searching for a boy that meant more to him than anyone could possibly imagine, finding a way to liberate his planet in such a way that he wouldn�t be needed anymore, just so that he could come back to them all!
But a small part of Max knew that Kyle was right. It was why he was so mad.
He was scared of his own sister, frightened that Isabel would reject him, that she had moved on without him, that she would have no desire to have him in her life.
And he was even more scared of Liz. Not of her personally, of course. No matter his past worries, he knew Liz would be glad to see him.
What he was really scared of was seeing pleasure that he was safe, but indifference in every other way. He did not know if he could face her and not see that flash of recognition, that even if they weren�t together, even if they could never be together, they both knew they were supposed to be.
Because he still felt it�that connection. Even more so now that he knew the truth behind it. If she didn�t still feel it too�He didn�t know if he would be able to survive the pain of that. He had survived a lot - torture, physical and mental; loneliness, guilt, fear. But he could not survive losing the dream that he and Liz were two halves of the same whole, that they would always understand each other even if they couldn�t be with each other.
But he knew that he had to face it. It was only fair. Maria and Kyle were right. The least he could do was give both Izzy and Liz the chance to spit in his face if that�s what they wanted to do. After all, he had had the chance with his worst enemies. They deserved the same.
"I know you�re right." Max sighed heavily. "I just�"
"You don�t want to hurt them again," Maria interrupted. "We understand that, Max. But if they find out that you�ve been here for almost�How long? Two weeks, a month and you didn�t call them�You don�t think that�s going to hurt them a million times worse?"
Max joined Maria on the couch, buried his face in his hands. "You�re right."
Maria scooted over, put her arm around his shoulders. "Because, Max, I have to say�" He looked up at her sideways. "I�m really glad you�re alive. And I have a feeling that how I feel is going to pale in comparison to how Liz and Isabel are going to feel�even if they don�t show it at first."
Max stood up. "Okay. I�m going to do it. I�ll just wait until Ben gets home�"
Maria narrowed her eyes at him. "Go now. I swear I�ll make sure the kid eats okay, that Michael doesn�t drown him in the bathtub or something. Don�t wait on this, Max. Every minute counts here." She reached into her purse, grabbed a pen and piece of paper and scribbled something. "Here�s Isabel�s address. Start with her. I think she�s going to be more hard actually. She is still pissed at you�even after all this time."
Max stared down at the address uncomprehendingly. His stomach was in knots, but excitement was building within him as well. His sister. He was going to see Izzy. And anger he could deal with. There was only a thin line between love and hate after all.
It was Liz he was more worried about�because what Maria didn�t say worried him more than what she did. Liz was not going to be as difficult because she really wouldn�t care that he was back.
He had lost her. He knew it with bone-shattering certainty. He had recognized that it might be so before, but not seeing her, he had always been able to hold onto the hope � the hope that if he returned there would be no Dan Riley anymore, that things could go back to the way they were supposed to be � Max and Liz together, forever.
There was no hope anymore. His soul mate was lost to him and he was just going to have to accept it.
Liz smiled to herself as Ben shifted from foot to foot, searching through his book-bag for the key to his apartment. "Are you sure it�s in there?" she asked again.
"I saw my dad put it in here this morning," Ben replied, sounding annoyed. "I just don�t understand where it could be." Liz reflected that perhaps Ben�s father wasn�t as unaware of Michael�s habit of letting certain responsibilities slip his mind as she had feared. It seemed that he had sent his son off to school well prepared.
Liz tried the door again. "Well, I guess we can just sit here until they get back," Liz suggested. She backed up to the door, slid to the floor, patted the spot beside her. "Have a seat. You can finish telling me about the hockey game you watched with Michael last night." Anything to help him keep his mind off his near miss with the car. He had been practically catatonic during the entire walk to the apartment block where he lived, had only started to relax when Liz had taken him by the hand and had started him talking about Michael, his favorite subject.
Ben�s face lit up. Liz had been right in her assessment that, to this child, everything Michael Guerin did was worth discussing at length. "He explained all the rules to me," Ben told her proudly. "And he even told me that that he might be able to find me a league to play in this winter!" Liz raised an eyebrow, but didn�t comment on that. If anyone could find a kid�s ice hockey league in New Mexico, it was Michael.
She snapped back to attention when she realized that Ben was nudging her with his elbow. "You told me that you would tell me some stories about Michael from when he was a kid."
"Well, Michael didn�t like school very much," Liz replied, grinning, "As I�m sure you�re already aware, but I did work with him at my dad�s restaurant. It�s called the Crashdown."
"The Crashdown!" Ben exclaimed. "My dad told me that he would take me there when we go visit my grandpa and grandma in Roswell."
Liz had pretty much determined by now that she had to know Ben�s father. There was absolutely no way she couldn�t�they had clearly grown up together and if he had been in the Crashdown� She opened her mouth to ask Ben his dad�s name again. Every time she had done so before they had somehow gotten off the subject, but there was no time like the present.
And then a thought struck her so suddenly, she wondered how she could have been so completely stupid as to not have realized it right away.
Ben�s dad had known Michael since the fourth grade.
He had trusted Michael to look after his child, when no one in their right mind would do so, unless they really knew Michael.
Michael had done everything in his power to convince her that she didn�t know Ben�s father and had sweated profusely while doing so.
There had been something familiar about this kid from the first moment she had laid eyes on him this morning.
It was absolutely crazy.
And yet, somehow, she knew she was right.
Liz felt her breath beginning to come in short gasps. She turned to stare down at the little boy sitting beside her. "Ben�" Her tone of voice must have alerted the boy that something was wrong because he turned his head, glanced up at her worriedly.
His blue eyes gleamed, attracting her gaze like a moth to light.
And then, she knew it without a shadow of a doubt. They displayed none of the guile that had always been present in the eyes of the person Liz most despised in the universe, but there was no question they were the same unique, vivid blue.
They were Tess Harding�s eyes.
How on Earth was this possible? How could she be sitting on the floor of a dirty apartment building beside the child that she knew was Max Evans�s son?
And if this was Max Evans�s son, then Max Evans was back on Earth.
He was back on Earth and he hadn�t even come to see her.
The pain, when it hit, was so sudden and so surprising, it made her close her eyes.
Well, it was officially confirmed. The dreams had been a clue. The doubts about her impending nuptials � in fact, her entire future � had been for a very specific reason.
She was not over Max Evans and, to top it all off, she was going to have to face him too.
"Liz?" Ben�s voice sounded scared. "You look really weird. Are you okay?" His small hand reached out, grasped her sleeve. "What�s wrong?"
But she couldn�t speak. She couldn�t move. All she could do was stare at him.
It was then that she became aware of approaching voices. Two people were arguing as they came out of the elevator down the hall.
"�.so irresponsible, Michael! The kid can�t eat McDonald�s and pizza every night! Do you guys even try cooking? There�s a grocery store right down the street!"
Maria. Liz�s eyes lit on her friend, trailing behind Michael, who was carrying two grocery bags that Maria had obviously dumped on him.
The pieces of the puzzle were beginning to fall into place so quickly, Liz felt faint again. She closed her eyes, leaned her head back against the wall for support.
Ben jumped to his feet. "Michael! Hurry! Something�s wrong with Liz!"
"There you are, kid! You gave me a heart attack! Your dad told you to wait for me." There was a pause, and then, "What�s Liz doing here?"
Liz had climbed unsteadily to her feet. She reached out, put her hand on Ben�s shoulder. "I�m�I�m okay." She took a deep breath, began to feel her shock fading and it was quickly being replaced by another emotion so strong, she almost squeezed Ben�s shoulder to control it before she realized what she was doing.
Rage.
She pulled her hand back sharply, clenched it into a fist at her side.
She narrowed her eyes at her best friend, who was staring at her white-faced. Maria had better not have known about this. Because if all that talk yesterday, about her not being over Max, had been her unsubtle way of paving the way for Max Evans to waltz back into her life� Well, Liz would never forgive her.
Liz full-out glared at Michael when he started to talk again, clearly about to try and brazen his way out of the awkward situation in which they found themselves. "Hey, Liz. Thanks for bringing him back, but you can go now. Maria and I, we hooked up again and she�s going to help me look after him until Ben�s dad gets back."
"We so did not hook back up again," Maria inserted, sounding outraged.
"Is this Maria?" Ben asked, sounding excited and ignoring the fact that Maria looked like she was about to belt Michael. "Hi! I�m Ben."
"I see my name precedes me," Maria replied wryly after taking a deep breath, her eyes returning to Liz worriedly. "It�s nice to meet you, Ben."
"Yeah, my dad talks about you all the time. He said that you were the only one who could control Michael." Ben looked at Michael for approval. "Right Michael?"
"Er�right buddy."
Liz started to walk towards Michael. She saw his eyes widen, as he had clearly seen the expression she knew was on her face. He actually took a step backwards before getting a hold of himself. "I�m wondering how Ben�s dad knows so much about your relationship with Maria, Michael?" Liz asked, trying to make it clear that she knew exactly why he knew so much. "I also wonder how it is that Ben�s dad grew up in Roswell, with you, and yet I don�t know him?" She tilted her head, glanced at Maria. "Isn�t that weird, Maria?"
"Not so weird, Liz," Maria replied, sighing and shaking her head. "I swear, chica, I didn�t know until like an hour ago."
Liz raised an eyebrow, her anger flowing through her veins like some sort of super drug. "Where is he?"
Michael made one last ditch effort, but it was weak, and Liz could see from the way his shoulders slumped that even he knew it. "Where�s who?"
Liz felt her nostrils flare as she breathed in deeply, doing her best not to erupt in front of Ben. "Hey Ben?" Liz asked through gritted teeth. "Remember how we were saying that I probably knew your dad?"
"Yeah." His tone was uncertain. When Liz looked at him, she could see the little boy shifting his gaze between she and Michael, beginning to clue in on the fact that something was wrong here.
"Why don�t you just tell me your father�s name? And then we�ll know for sure."
"It�s Max," Ben replied. "Max Evans. Do you know him?" he continued eagerly.
"Surprise! I do," Liz replied. "Very well in fact. And I want Michael to tell me where I can find him, so that I can go say�hi."
Michael just shook his head in resignation, sighed heavily. "Isabel�s."
"Thank you very much." Liz turned back to Ben, pulled him towards her for a brief hug. He was still staring at her, looking a little worried. "I�ll see you tomorrow, Ben." She paused, her anger beginning to fade towards Michael and Maria. She believed that Maria hadn�t known, also believed that Maria would have told her the truth as soon as she next saw her, although she wasn�t sure why Maria hadn�t sought her out right away. She also believed that Michael had only been following Max�s orders by not telling her.
None of this was their fault. And, because of that, she wasn�t going to take it out on them.
She was going to take it out on the person who most deserved it.
Plus, she needed to tell Michael about what had almost happened that afternoon.
"Michael. I need to talk to you for a minute," Liz said. Michael looked so surprised at her about-face, she actually saw him glance behind Maria, as though considering a full-out retreat. "It�s okay."
"C�mon Ben," Maria interrupted, taking the grocery bags away from Michael. "I�m going to show you how to make pancakes." She glanced at Liz as Michael unlocked the apartment door and Ben entered, waving to Liz before he disappeared. "Lizzie, don�t be too hard on him. Let him explain." She paused. "I talked to him a bit this afternoon and he sort of had a reason for not seeing you. Not a good one, but one that I can understand."
Liz didn�t reply. Maria sighed, followed Ben into the apartment, shutting the door behind her.
"Liz, I�m sorry�" Michael began, raising his hands, like he expected her to attack him. "He called me ten days ago. I had to go. They were both in pretty rough shape. It took him a good two weeks to work up the strength to even call me. And I know he wanted to see you, but he heard about Dan and�"
"Michael, I don�t want you to make excuses for him," Liz interjected impatiently. "Listen to me. Someone tried to run Ben down after school today. It�s why I brought him home."
"What?" Michael exploded. "Is he okay?"
"Well, clearly he is." Liz shook her head. "That�s not the point. Is he in danger? Is Max in danger? Did your enemies follow them back here?"
Michael still looked stunned. "Max told me that Khivar was dead," he finally managed to choke out.
"Does he know that for sure?" Liz demanded.
"He seemed pretty sure. It must have been an accident. But thank God he�s okay." Michael had leaned his hand against the wall, was staring down at the floor. It suddenly hit Liz how much Michael already cared about Ben too. Liz didn�t blame him. She had been drawn to him from the first moment she had met him as well. There was something special about him.
The kid was amazing. How on God�s green Earth could he be Tess Harding�s son?
He�s not just Tess�s son, a small voice in the back of her head reminded her.
He was Max�s son too.
And suddenly it hit Liz why she had liked him so much. He reminded her of Max.
At least, that�s what she thought it was. Something wasn�t quite right about that though.
As she reflected on it, she realized he wasn�t really like Max at all. He was outgoing where Max had always been shy. He bonded easily with people, whereas Max had never trusted anyone.
Except her. Max had always trusted her. From the first moment he had laid eyes on her when he had been younger than Ben.
Max! Her heart screamed his name. She took deep breaths, trying to force it to slow down. It was pounding so hard, she thought Michael must be able to hear it.
She was going to see Max. He had come back. And somehow, Liz knew, deep in her heart, which was why it was still beating maniacally, that he had come back to her.
"Michael�" Liz paused, searching for the words, suddenly wondering exactly what Max had had to go through to get back to Earth. "Is he�Is he okay?"
Michael shrugged. "He�s Max, Liz."
Liz closed her eyes briefly, opened them finally and laughed, the sound more bitter than she had intended. "But did we even know who Max was Michael?"
She had thought that she was over everything that had happened, that she had forgiven him. She had told Isabel as much only last night.
Apparently she had been wrong.
Michael just stared at her helplessly, not knowing what to say and not wanting to make things worse by saying the wrong thing.
"Never mind." Liz walked past him. "I�m going to find out. Right now."
She lived there. Right behind that door. The girl he had grown up with. The sister who had betrayed him in their past life, but who had done everything in her power to ensure that she didn�t do it again in this one.
Isabel.
He knew that she was going to scream at him. Now, as the time approached, he was actually looking forward to it. He deserved it and it would be nice to actually feel like he was beginning to pay for some of his sins.
So then why couldn�t he seem to make himself walk up the pathway to the front door?
Max scrubbed his hand across his face, took a step forward.
He knew then that he couldn�t do it. He couldn�t face her. Her or Liz.
It was why he had avoided them for so long. He had spouted all that malarkey to Kyle and Maria about not wanting to disrupt their lives. It was bull. Kyle had been right.
He was a coward.
Max snorted to himself. He could kill Khivar, his most dangerous foe, but he couldn�t even face his own sister.
He was about to turn away, ready to return to his car, ready to let Maria or Michael tell them the truth, ready to let them come to him, ready to give them one more reason to hate him, when he realized that the car that was coming down the street was turning into Isabel�s drive-way.
Well, so much for cowardice.
Max swallowed, hard, waited for the person behind the wheel to get out. It was dark out by now. He couldn�t see the person in the car well enough to make out if it was Isabel or her husband, but he could tell that they had seen him. The person was clearly staring at him, hands still glued to the steering wheel.
But when the person finally opened the door and stepped out, it was the last person Max had expected.
It wasn�t Isabel. It wasn�t Jesse.
It was Liz�s fianc�, Dan Riley. And Dan Riley looked as pissed off as hell.
"So, Max Evans. We meet at last." Dan�s voice dripped with venom. Max blinked.
"Do I know you?" Max asked quietly, pretending that he had never seen Dan before, because, of course, he was not supposed to have any idea who he was.
"Don�t play games with me, Evans. I certainly know you," Dan replied. "I�m Elizabeth Parker�s fianc�, but I�m guessing you know that." He stated it in a possessive manner, as though daring Max to nay-say him, like all he wanted was one excuse to attack him.
All Max could do was frown slightly at the way Dan called Liz "Elizabeth." It sounded weird. He didn�t like it at all. It seemed formal and distant, sounded like this guy had absolutely no idea who Liz Parker was. She was not Elizabeth at all, who sounded cold and professional and grown-up.
But maybe she isn�t your Liz anymore, a small voice in the back of his head reminded him. Maybe she really is this man�s Elizabeth.
Max forced himself to extend his hand. "It�s nice to meet you. You�re a lucky man." The words almost made Max want to puke, but he was not going to mess things up for Liz with this person, even though he already absolutely despised him, couldn�t even begin to see what Liz saw in him.
Dan ignored Max�s hand, snarled, "I know I am. And I also know why you�re here. You�ve realized that you�ve lost her and you�re going to try and take her back."
Max stared at him. "Er, actually, I�m here to visit my sister," he replied calmly.
"Bull," Dan snapped. "I know all about you, Max Evans. You haven�t been anywhere near your sister in almost ten years. This is about Elizabeth, plain and simple."
Max raised an eyebrow. "I don� t think you know a single thing about me actually." He paused, couldn�t resist adding, "And if you�re so sure that you and Liz belong together, then why do you even care that I�m back? I haven�t made one single effort to see her, have I?"
"You�re here, aren�t you?" Dan replied, his fists clenched at his sides, the fabric of his well-made coat rippling as he tensed. "She�s staying here."
Max turned his head, stared at the house. He hadn�t known that, silently cursed Maria for not telling him so. Was Liz in there too? Was he going to have to face both her and Isabel at the same time? He didn�t know if he could do it.
But, on the other hand, he was beginning to realize, more with every passing second, that he wanted to be the one to tell Liz he was back. There was no question that her fianc� was going to tell her anyway and he decided that he did want to see the very first emotion that crossed her expressive face when she saw him.
Because, he knew, that very first flash would give him some sort of idea about how she really felt about his return. Liz could not hide that from him. Not if he saw it for himself.
"Well, why don�t we go in then?" Max gestured toward the house casually. "You can see for yourself that I just got here."
His tone seemed to infuriate the biologist even further but Dan finally accepted this and moved ahead of Max, down the path toward the house, as though he wanted to be the first to see Liz, just to demonstrate his prior claim on her. Max rolled his eyes, but followed.
He was actually beginning to relax. It seemed that fate wasn�t against him after all. This might not be as bad as he had previously envisioned, because with Dan around, Isabel and Liz were at least going to have to be civil. He was positive Dan had no idea about the alien stuff and because of it, they would not be able to really go off on him.
He knew that Dan did not know because he knew Liz and he knew that she never would have betrayed him that way�even after all he had done to her.
Max lurked behind Dan as he rang the bell. The porch light came on and the door opened a minute later. Isabel�s husband, Jesse, who Max had only actually ever met that one time in Utah, when he had helped Max and Liz get off for armed robbery � Max wondered briefly if Dan knew about that � stood there, a towel over his shoulder, a little girl in his arms.
"Hey Dan! What�s up? Are you looking for Liz, �cause she isn�t here right now. Isabel told me she�s taking some kid home from school." He glanced past Dan, froze. Max watched Jesse�s eyes widen as he actually realized who he was.
"Hi," Max said. He didn�t know what else to say. It sounded ridiculous, but what else did one say after disappearing for eight years? Hell, Max didn�t even know if Jesse knew the truth about his wife yet. He should have asked Michael about that one.
"Max Evans." Jesse glanced over his shoulder, shifted his daughter from one arm to the other. "Good Lord." Then he looked at Dan in confusion. "What the hell are you two doing together?"
Max almost smirked despite himself. The complete absurdity of this situation was increasing by the minute. "We just met," Max replied. "On the lawn."
"Oh." Jesse was frowning. "Okay. Anyway�" He glanced over his shoulder again, turned back to Dan uncomfortably. "Er � maybe you can come back later, Dan. I�ll tell Liz you stopped by." He grimaced at Max. "I think my wife and her brother are going to want some privacy to catch up."
"I�m not going anywhere," Dan said seriously.
Jesse stared at him for a moment, then shrugged. "Okay then. Er � why don�t you come in. Max�" Jesse glanced at him sternly. "You stay right there. I�m going to get Isabel."
Max nodded. He felt his heart beginning to beat more quickly. He was only moments away from seeing his sister for the first time in over eight years�the sister he was unsure would be able to find it in her heart to forgive him.
Dan glared at him once more before following Jesse into the house. Max forced himself to sit on the stairs of the porch.
He sat there for over ten minutes before he stood up and started pacing. He glanced at his watch, then at the door, wondering what the hell was going on in there.
Five more minutes passed and still no Isabel.
And then he knew. She didn�t want to see him.
It was confirmed when moments later the door opened and Jesse came out, a regretful expression on his face. "I�m sorry Max. She�she�s�"
Max shoved his hands in his pockets, tried not to let the hurt wash over him. He didn�t blame her really, knew that it was nothing less than he deserved.
He had abandoned his own sister�the sister he had promised he would never leave behind. He had always thought that she would forgive him because the last thing she had ever wanted to do anyway was leave Earth, but he understood why she couldn�t.
He had left her when he had left Earth. Without even saying good-bye. He had told her that he would talk to her when he got back to Roswell and Isabel had had to live with the fact that that had never happened.
She had moved on. She didn�t need a brother anymore.
"It�s okay." Max tried not to choke on the words. He could see the sympathy on Jesse�s face, knew instantly that Isabel�s husband did know the truth, that he knew where Max had been all these years. "Can you tell her that I found him and that I�m at Michael�s if she changes her mind?" He paused. "Maria has the address." He turned. "Thanks."
"Max!" Jesse called after him. "She will change her mind. She just needs time."
"I know. Thanks," Max repeated.
He was sitting in his Cherokee moments later, hands on the wheel, staring out the front windshield.
That had gone far worse than he ever could have possibly imagined. He had not thought that it could hurt so much, to be rejected by his sister, but it did.
He understood Isabel�s feelings, but that did not mean that it did not hurt.
But, suddenly, he knew, with absolute certainty, that it was only going to get worse. He needed to see her now. He could not just accept this. Ben deserved to have an aunt, his parents deserved to have their family whole again. Estrangement between him and Isabel was unacceptable.
Max climbed out of the car again, walked up the front path, onto the porch and into the house before he could change his mind. He noticed Dan and Jesse sitting on the couch in the living room, watching TV, as he moved past. He yelled out her name before they could stop him. "Isabel!"
Jesse was on his feet, was in the hallway, his arms up as though to push Max back out the door. "Max, she�s not ready! You have to give her time."
"No. Isabel! I�m not leaving until you see me!" Max called out again.
"You can�t play out that king card here, Max," Jesse hissed. Max stared at him.
"I�m not," he replied quietly, glancing around for Dan. He was standing in the archway that led to the living room, an expression of disdain on his face, apparently not having heard Jesse�s comment. Despite this, Max felt an almost irresistible urge to punch him, but managed to ignore it. "I�m no king. I�m playing the annoying little brother card."
"He was always really good at it." Max whipped his head around. Isabel was standing on the stairs, staring at him. She had her daughter on her hip, as though as a shield. "You�re okay?" She asked it grudgingly, but he could see a smile beginning to break out over her face despite herself.
"Yes," Max told her. "I missed you, Iz."
"I�m still really pissed off at you." Her voice broke as she said it.
"I know."
"You always did have impeccable timing though, Max." Isabel continued to smile through the tears that were streaming down her face, shaking her head ruefully.
"Why?" he asked, confused.
"Because I convinced her yesterday to try to forgive you." Max�s heart stopped at the sound of the familiar voice. He watched Isabel�s gaze sweep past him, settle on the person who had clearly just come through the front door.
He had never once forgotten what her voice sounded like. He had heard that all memories faded in time, but his of her had not even dimmed. The voice was as familiar to him as his own.
Liz.
"And I think she has."
Max turned his head.
She looked smaller than he remembered. Her dark hair was hanging loose around her face, shorter now than it had been when he left. Her face was slightly more mature, but all in all she had not changed a bit.
She was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
"But that�s because she doesn�t know what you�ve done," Liz continued.
It was only then that he noticed � really noticed � the expression on her face.
Fury. Absolute, unadulterated fury.
And he couldn�t help it. He smiled.
Because fury was an emotion. And any emotion meant that Liz Parker was not ambivalent to him.
Which meant one thing to Max, and one thing alone. He still had a chance to win her back.
Liz really could not believe that he had the gall to smile at her.
The Max Evans that she had known had rarely smiled. When he had, it had usually been a half-smile, shy, uncomfortable, like he was unsure that he was really allowed to be happy.
This smile was flat out joyous.
It made her want to do one of two things.
The first was that she wanted to hit him�hard. She wanted to wipe that smirk off his face�the face that had not changed one damn bit.
Except he had changed she saw as she looked closer. He had lines on his face that had not been there before. There was also a new maturity in his hazel eyes, eyes that were exactly the haunted ones she had seen in her dream the night before.
She flashed momentarily to the first time she had laid eyes on Future Max � a Max this man would never be � her husband, her partner in bringing about the end of the world. "Do you really see gray?" he had asked her, sounding nonplused and a little put out. This Max�s hair was still as dark as ever, but there was no question that this Max had more in common with Future Max than he did with the Max he had been when he had left her eight years before.
Max Evans had left Earth a boy on a desperate mission. He had returned a man�a man who looked like he had been to hell and back, but he had survived it and had come out the other side stronger and more sure of exactly who he was.
And the smile on his face was telling her that the man wanted her as much as the boy had. Her anger seemed to be pleasing him rather than scaring him. It was disconcerting.
And it was also why the second thing she wanted to do was rush at him, wrap her arms around him and kiss him until she really believed he was back.
Damn him.
"What did he do?" Liz realized that Isabel was speaking. When Liz glanced at her, still standing on the stairs, clutching Lexi to her chest, she saw that Max�s sister was looking for any excuse to stay mad at him. Because Isabel wanted to stay angry with her brother. If she was mad at him, he couldn�t hurt her again.
But Liz could see that forgiveness was winning out over rage. The breakdown in Lexi�s nursery the night before had been the first step towards achieving it. Actually laying eyes on Max, alive and well, had been the second. But she was hoping Liz would give her a reason to resist taking the third.
And Liz had to tell her. Isabel needed to know the truth.
"He�s been back for close to a month. And he didn�t call anyone except Michael. And he made Michael promise that he wouldn�t tell us," Liz replied, turning back to stare at Max as she said it. She saw him flinch.
So he did feel guilty. Good
"I�m sure that he had a good reason." Liz saw Max turn to stare at Jesse in surprise. Isabel�s husband was gazing at Isabel with concern. Liz could tell that he wanted Isabel to forgive Max. Because Jesse would know how much Isabel had missed him, how much losing him had devastated Isabel. He knew how much having her brother back would add the missing piece to Isabel�s complete happiness.
"Max?" Isabel looked at her brother, clearly trying to mask the hope on her face.
"I�" Max was staring at Liz again, the smile on his face having disappeared. "I knew about Dan and I didn�t want to interrupt anything." He said it quietly, glancing to his right as he said it.
It was only then that Liz became aware of the fact that her fianc� was standing in the doorway leading to the living room. She felt her face fall in horror. She frantically searched her mind, wondering whether she had truly given him any reason to think that she was anything more than ambivalent about Max�s return.
She didn�t think she had done anything too incriminating. Other than display completely irrational rage that her ex-boyfriend hadn�t come to see her.
Not at all incriminating there, Liz, she rolled her eyes mentally. She was dead.
"Honey!" she exclaimed, going over to hug him. "I didn�t even see you there! What are you doing here?"
She didn�t glance out of the corner of her eye to see how Max reacted to this. Really, she didn�t. It wasn�t her fault that she saw a scowl flash across his face momentarily. Really.
"I came to see you," Dan replied, his tone unreadable. "And was shocked to find Isabel�s brother instead."
"Dan, I swear I didn�t know he was here," Liz told him quietly, as she pushed him back into the living room so that they could have a little privacy. This was disastrous! She had admitted to herself that maybe she wasn�t quite as over Max Evans as she had thought she was, but she certainly did not want to give up Dan for him. She had never expected that Max would actually show up while she was exorcising him.
Isabel had been right in her earlier assessment. With Max, timing had always been everything. It was almost as if he had known that his hold on Liz�s soul was finally going to be broken and that was when he decided to come waltzing back into her life.
She could hear Max and Isabel and Jesse talking quietly in the hallway as she gazed up at her fianc� anxiously. She had absolutely no idea what Dan was thinking. Isabel had been right about one thing the night before when she had spoken about Dan. He was an awful lot like Max in the sense that he could so easily mask his real feelings.
Of course, Max had never been able to hide his feelings around her. At least not after he had healed her, after they had first connected. She had almost always known what he was thinking after that.
Liz shook her head, trying to forget that.
"I know it," Dan finally replied, pulling her against him. "I have to admit though, Elizabeth, when I first saw him, I thought that you were lying to me�that you had let him worm his way back into your life."
Liz pulled back. "Dan, I would never lie to you! Have I ever?"
Except for not telling him about the fact that she hated her job, that the real reason she was working with Isabel was because she didn�t want to follow the dream they had shared anymore. Liz told the small voice in the back of her head that reminded her of this fact to shut up.
And just because she didn�t want to work at Harvard anymore, it didn�t mean she didn�t want to marry Dan. She loved Dan.
Which was why every fiber of her being was yearning to return to the front hallway, to talk to Max, to make sure that he was really okay, whole, safe.
Yes, she wanted to yell at him. But she also wanted to just stare at him, preferably for hours, convince herself that he was really back.
But she did not want to touch him. Really she didn�t.
Dan pulled her against him again. "No. You haven�t. And I�m sorry I ever doubted you Elizabeth." But Liz could feel that he was still tense. She didn�t blame him. She knew that she was likely as stiff as a board in his embrace.
Because they both knew what she was going to ask of him. And it was going to be the hardest thing he had ever done.
Dan knew better than anyone exactly what Max Evans had meant to her once upon a time. Because Elizabeth had never lied to him�about anything.
The fact that Liz had lied to him from the moment they had returned to New Mexico�Well, he would never know that. Liz was not going to win. She was Dan�s Elizabeth now and she only needed to prove it.
"Dan, I need you to go home now, honey," Liz whispered against his chest.
There was a long pause. "I know," he said quietly.
There was nothing else to say. Because they both knew that unless the ghost of Max Evans � who suddenly was no longer so ghostly � wasn�t dealt with, then their marriage was going to be a sham anyway.
Let the exorcism begin, Liz reflected grimly as she kissed her fianc� good-bye.
Max had been relieved. He didn�t think he could watch them together anymore. To see Liz melt against him like that� He had felt a spasm of actual physical illness.
Besides, he couldn�t think about Liz right now, could not reflect on the way she had reacted to him before she had become aware of Dan�s presence. He owed his sister his full attention.
And he owed her a full on apology too.
"I told you why, Iz," Max replied wearily, sinking into a chair at the kitchen table.
Jesse sat at the other end, Alexandra asleep against his shoulder, clearly there not to interfere in their conversation, but to support Isabel. It pleased Max. He was beginning to like Jesse more and more. It was ever more evident that Isabel was the most important thing in the world to her husband. His sister deserved that, had always craved it.
She had found security and happiness with Jesse Ramirez. Yes, she had missed her brother, but life had gone on for Isabel. The evidence of that presently slept soundly in her father�s arms.
Max really looked at the baby for the first time since he had arrived. His niece. Isabel�s daughter, named for their lost friend. Ben was absolutely going to love her. "She�s beautiful," he told his sister, not meaning to change the subject, but wanting to tell her that before she threw him out, which was still an entirely too likely scenario.
Isabel�s expression softened momentarily. "Liz told me yesterday that she thought she looked like you," his sister told him quietly.
Max felt his heart skip a beat at that, but he grimaced, joked. "Poor kid. I don�t see it. As I said, she�s gorgeous." But Max could see the resemblance, saw traces of himself in Alexandra�s little face. He wondered what it meant for the human genetic connection he and Isabel shared. They had learned all about Michael�s gene donor, but had never found out anything about where he and Isabel had come from.
All that seemed so long ago now Max reflected, finding out about Laurie Dupree�s grandfather. It was long before Ben was even born. And it was really beside the point anyway, the point being that he was half-human, that he had chosen to live out that part of his heritage by returning to Earth. He didn�t need to know where he had come from, but it was nice to know that he and Isabel were clearly linked through both their human DNA and their alien essences.
"Max, really, " Isabel said urgently. "I need to know. How could you call Michael? Why didn�t you call me?"
Max swallowed, saw the hurt on his sister�s face. He could see that this was the crux of the issue. He and Isabel had always been the closest. She had been devastated that he had left her behind, when he had always promised that he would never do such a thing. And then, when he had come back, he hadn�t even come to her for help.
"I don�t know, Izzy. Really. You have to understand�it was a close thing when we got here. Not a crash exactly, but things were rough for the first couple of weeks. It took me that long to track down Michael." He paused. "I didn�t want you involved in that."
"Is it safe for you to be here?" Isabel demanded, glancing in concern at Jesse and her daughter. Max felt his heart go out to his sister. He understood the fear she felt. He had felt it every day for eight and a half years�ever since he had first known of Ben�s existence.
"Khivar is dead," Max said simply.
Isabel closed her eyes briefly. She sank into a chair beside Jesse, took her husband�s hand in her own and squeezed.
"He came to me once. Right before we got married," she whispered. "I knew it when he died too. It was recently, wasn�t it?"
Max stared at her, then at Jesse. Isabel�s husband looked tense, but not at all confused, or even upset. He obviously knew all about Khivar and Isabel�s relationship to him.
He felt a pang of jealousy. The way Isabel and Jesse were together�they were clearly a unit. Isabel�s husband knew everything about her, she knew everything about him. He could see it in the way they sat linked by their hands, linked through their daughter.
It was what he had always wanted with Liz. It was what he had had for such a very short time before Tess had entered their lives and had destroyed everything.
He was never going to have it now.
"He�s gone," Max told them firmly. "I killed him myself."
Isabel�s eyes flew to Max�s face. "And�what about your son?" she asked, taking Alexandra away from Jesse urgently. The child squawked in protest, stuck her thumb in her mouth but settled against her mother�s shoulder and went back to sleep.
"I have him," Max said, a small smile crossing his face. "And you�ve met him. Ben," he added simply.
Isabel�s eyes widened. "Oh my God!" Her expression melted into one of annoyance. "Trust Michael," she muttered.
"I swear I didn�t know you were going to be his teacher, Iz. I wouldn�t have done that to you without warning you," Max insisted. "That was all Michael�s ludicrous idea."
She did not reply. "You still haven�t answered my question though, Max," Isabel finally said. "Dan was the reason you didn�t tell Liz you were back. I�m your sister. It doesn�t explain why you didn�t see me until tonight."
Max knew that how he answered this question was going to determine how his relationship with Isabel played out from this moment on. "I was scared," he admitted quietly.
Isabel did not say anything for another long moment, and then, "Why?"
"Because I broke my promise to you," Max replied. "I promised you I�d never leave without you� and I did."
"Yes, you did."
"I know that you might never be able to forgive me for it�for not even saying goodbye. But you have to know that there was only ever one person who could make me do that to you and it was my son. And I got him back." Max stood up. "I understand if you can�t get past it, Izzy, but I want you to know that I am sorry." He paused, thrust his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket. "And know that I thought about you every single day while I was gone. You and Michael and Mom and Dad�"
He didn�t add Liz. He knew that Isabel would already know that. Isabel had always understood about Liz, even if she had never approved precisely.
She had not approved, but she had understood. Because she had known that, to Max, Liz had represented being normal, had represented feeling human. And Isabel had always only ever wanted to be human.
And she had made that life for herself now. He, Max, might not fit in anymore�her alien king brother, who represented a past she wanted to forget.
"I�ll be waiting for you to call me, Isabel," Max told her over his shoulder. "It�s your choice. I won�t bug you, I swear. And I�m sorry I burst in here like this." He glanced at Jesse. "It was selfish of me�I guess I did sort of play the king card," he added wryly.
He left. There was nothing else to do.
His sister did not stop him.
Max sighed heavily as he crossed the lawn. He had considered going through the front door, just to see Liz once more, but when she had not come into the kitchen, he had assumed she had left with her fianc�. He could see now that Dan�s car was gone.
He wasn�t surprised. There was really no need for her to talk to him. She was angry, yes, but, in the grand scheme of her life, he didn�t really matter. Dan was her future. He was the one she would make sure everything was okay with. He was the one she would want to be with.
And yet it still hurt like hell that she had not stayed, at least to yell at him if that had been her desire.
He had been wrong that her anger was a demonstration that she still cared about him. That was nothing new though. Max had been wrong about many, many things in his life.
He had been wrong to expect Liz Parker to wait for him�both tonight and for the eight long years he had been gone, possibly dead for all she knew.
He had been wrong to desert her in the first place. Oh, how wrong he had been! He would regret it for the rest of his life.
"Max."
He was almost at his car when he heard her voice. It stopped him dead in his tracks. He turned slowly, not quite ready to believe his ears.
But she was there, sitting on the front porch, eyeing him warily.
"Liz." He breathed her name, tried to control the emotion that he knew she would be able to hear in his voice.
She closed her eyes for a moment, seemed to shudder slightly. He bit his lip, waited for her to speak.
"Dan�s gone," she finally said, opening her eyes again and staring at him. Her expression was no longer blank. Now it was hard, like she was getting ready to do something unpleasant, something she was not looking forward to, but that she wanted over.
Max felt his heart sink. "Okay." It was all he could say. He didn�t know what she wanted from him.
"I need to talk to you."
"Okay." It sounded ridiculous the second time, but he felt ridiculous, like he had no right to be standing here talking to her.
She stood up, smoothed down her skirt. She carefully avoided touching him as she walked past him, towards his Jeep. "Let�s go somewhere else. I think Isabel needs to be alone for a while."
Max simply followed her. They were in the car before he spoke. "Do have somewhere in mind?" he asked tentatively.
"Yes," Liz replied. "The desert."
The silence was uncomfortable. She could feel the tension coming off of him in waves but she refused to say anything until they had reached wherever it was he was taking her.
She wanted to see his face when she told him what needed to be said. She needed to know that he truly heard her. Because she refused to fall back into the cycle of pain and grief their entire relationship had entailed - from the very beginning.
Her life was not perfect by any means, but she was content. If she could marry Dan, find a job that completed her as teaching did Isabel or singing did Maria, well, then she would be happy.
But first she needed to end the dream that was Max Evans. Because the dream had never really been a dream at all, but a nightmare. Yet, still she held onto it. And as long as she held onto it, happiness was impossible.
Hoping it would be different the next time, didn�t mean it ever would be. There were no more next times left. She had Dan now and she was not going to give him up.
Max finally pulled the Cherokee off the highway. It bumped over rocks and debris as they rolled to a stop. Liz realized that they were in the middle of nowhere, which was supremely ironic, because it represented exactly where the future of their relationship was headed.
She knew it, had known it from the moment she had first laid eyes on him. Too much time had passed, too much stood between them. Dan, Ben, even Tess still.
Her anger stood between them. Anger that she hadn�t even realized she felt. Because she had lied to Isabel when she had told Max�s sister that she had forgiven him. She had in no way forgiven him.
He had left her all alone, when all she had ever wanted was to be with him. After all that she had done for him. And that could never be taken back.
Max turned the key in the ignition, shutting off the engine. Without even that low noise, the silence became suffocating. Liz knew that she had to speak, and yet the words would not come.
It was Max who finally said, "I really missed the desert at night. You can actually see the sky. On Antar, there�s nowhere to escape, nowhere to just look at the stars," he commented quietly, looking out the front windshield at the star-pocked sky. He turned to look at her, his eyes unreadable in the darkened interior of the car. He hadn�t turned the headlights off, so they weren�t sitting in complete darkness, but it was close enough. "Do you want to get out?"
"Yes," Liz replied, quickly turning and opening the passenger door. It was entirely too small a space to do what had to be done. His close proximity was too distracting, the scent of him filling her with doubts about whether what she was about to do was the right thing. If his very smell made her want to forget everything, or at least kiss him until she did, then Dan had been a fool to let her do this.
But Dan trusted her. She would not disappoint the one person she had always been able to depend on. No, he was not exciting; yes, he could be a tad pompous, but he loved her. He loved her enough. Who cared if her entire soul screamed that she was making a mistake, that she knew that she was giving up the chance to fix everything that had been wrong in her life since the day Max had left?
He had never loved her enough. And they both had to pay the price of it.
They met at the front of the car. The headlights were still on, cutting through the black night, illuminating rocks and scrub, accentuating the dark emptiness that surrounded them.
"What did you want to say, Liz?" Max finally asked, when the silence seemed to stretch on interminably. "I have things to say too, but I�m not going to say them until you say what you have to say."
"Very kind of you," she muttered, despite herself. He didn�t speak, just flinched and it annoyed her how she instantly felt bad. She forged ahead anyway. "I want to know why, Max. Why you didn�t want me to know you were back? Didn�t I at least deserve to know that you were alive? Because I hadn�t stopped worrying about you, you know. " She didn�t confess that she had always known that he still lived�that their connection had never been broken on that level. He didn�t need to know it and it would only confuse matters.
There was a long pause. "I did want you to know." He sighed heavily, thrust his hands into the pockets of his jacket, leaned back wearily against the hood of the car. "I was an idiot. But I didn�t want to disrupt your life�not if you had moved on."
Liz frowned at this. "Did you actually think I wouldn�t have moved on?" She felt a spurt of anger, let it run through her, nursed it in fact. It would give her the strength to do what had to be done. "How pathetic was I before you left, anyway, that you would actually think that? It�s been eight years, Max!"
"This is coming out all wrong," Max said quietly. "You weren�t pathetic, Liz. It was just a hope of mine, that�s all." Liz could tell that he wanted to say something else, waited for it before replying. "You once told me that you knew what it was like to be without me and that you would do anything to be with me. I guess, I just thought that maybe�"
"I would wait for the rest of my life?" She laughed, a little annoyed at how bitter she sounded. "I was eighteen years old, Max. I was na�ve and stupid and I was willing to do anything, say anything, to hold onto you. And you were willing to let me."
"And it was unfair," Max added. "I know it. I knew it then even. But I was so out of control in those days�so desperate. I can�t even think of an excuse, Liz, so I won�t even try. I want you to know how sorry I am and that I really regret ever getting you involved in that whole quest."
"It was my idea," Liz admitted, because it was only the truth. "But that isn�t the point. The point is that it was our quest and you abandoned me."
"Our quest? Liz, can you really tell me that you ever wanted me to find my son?" Max demanded. "Please be honest here. I know that you helped me, did your best, and I loved you for it, but he represented everything that went wrong in our relationship."
"And he doesn�t now?" Liz retorted, instantly regretting it. Ben�s face loomed in her mind. He was an innocent, did not deserve to have any of her anger at his father directed towards him. "I�m sorry. I shouldn�t have said that."
"It�s all right," Max replied. "You have every right to be angry. And things with Ben�They�re complicated."
"I�m glad you found him," Liz told him grudgingly. Because she was. "I think I recognized him the minute I saw him," she admitted. "He reminded me of you."
"Did he?" Max asked, sounding pleased. "I think he looks more like Tess."
"Well, of course he doesn�t look like you." Liz smiled, despite herself. "But there was something really familiar about him."
There was a long moment of silence. "I�m not surprised you think so. Liz, there�s something I should�"
But she didn�t let him finish. Things were getting entirely too comfortable here. It was time to tell him what she had brought him out here to tell him. "Listen Max, I really am glad that you�re back, and that�s mainly why I wanted to talk to you alone. To tell you so. But I need you to understand, I have a life, one that doesn�t include you."
"I know, Liz," Max told her patiently. "Which is why I didn�t tell you I was back."
Liz felt a flush beginning to climb her neck, onto her face. He was right, of course. If she didn�t want him in her life, then why was she so mad that he hadn�t told her he was back? "That�s beside the point," she replied weakly. "The point is, I�m engaged, but that doesn�t mean that I�m not glad that you�re safe. I just needed to make clear to you that what we had is over."
"Okay."
He said it so easily, it made Liz frown despite herself. "That�s all you have to say?" she demanded. "Okay?" She could have kicked herself the minute the words came out of her mouth. Did she have no self-control where he was concerned? It was ludicrous. She had forgotten how easily he got to her, how she had the tendency to just blurt things out to him�it was one of the reasons she had originally loved him. After the first time they had connected, she had felt like she could say anything to him. It was why it had been so hard to keep the whole Future Max thing from him too. Lying to Max went completely against her nature.
But she had to learn how to control her tongue in his presence. Because if she kept saying exactly what was in her heart, he would know that maybe her decision to move on wasn�t quite as final as she wanted it to be.
"I told you. I�m not going to interfere in your life," Max said. "You know what I want, what I hoped for when I came back here, and if you don�t want it, well, I�m not going to force my attentions on you." He frowned slightly. "If Dan�s what you want, well, I�m not going to stop you."
Liz scowled at him. Had there been a veiled insult of her fianc� in that comment? And why did it make her heart beat faster? Damn him! Why did he always do this to her? She had forgotten how easily he could get under her skin with one cryptic comment. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing. I�m sure he�s a perfectly nice man," Max replied innocently. "And successful," he added. "That�s important." But the tone of his voice made it sound superficial. She heard disdain there.
"I�m so sure you think so, having met him for a grand total of two minutes," Liz snapped. "And I certainly don�t care what his job is! I would love him even if he was poor and a bum. I loved you, didn�t I, and you practically squatted at Michael�s in your last few months here!"
She regretted those words the minute they came out of her mouth too. How could he so easily make her be so mean to him and then feel bad about it? It wasn�t fair. She couldn�t seem to control her emotions where he was concerned. It was why she loved Dan so much. He never made her behave this way. She always knew where she stood with him, he never made her so mad, she practically wanted to punch him.
Of course, he had never made her love him so much she was willing to give up her entire planet for him either, nor would she have been willing to follow him to the ends of the universe. With Max, that had once been a distinct possibility.
Max did not reply, just looked away.
"I don�t want to talk about Dan," Liz finally said, breaking the gaping silence that had sprung up between them again. "You said that I knew what you wanted, Max, but I really have no idea what you expect from me! I need us to be clear exactly where things stand."
Max continued to stare off across the desert, his expression now veiled. But she could still read his eyes as easily as she could the first time she had ever connected with him. He was sad.
"I want us to be friends, I guess." Max sighed. "But I�ll understand if it�s impossible."
"Max, please. Do you really think we can ever be just friends?" Liz collapsed against the hood beside him. "There�s just no way. It was always a disaster."
"I know. But, if you�re moving back to Boston anyway, we�ll only see each other once a year, if that." Max shrugged. "But, as I said, I don�t want to interfere. Dan probably won�t like it if his reaction to seeing me tonight is any indication."
Liz looked at him in surprise. "What? What did he do?"
"If he could have murdered me with his bare hands, Liz, I think he would have." Max half-grinned at her. "I don�t blame him. I wouldn�t want to risk losing you either� If I had you."
"Those words are pretty funny coming from you, Max." Liz shook her head. "You gave me up. You�re the one who left me behind. I was willing to follow you anywhere."
"I know," he repeated. His next comment so shocked Liz, she stared at him in disbelief, hurt despite herself. "And I�ve never regretted leaving you behind."
"Oh." Could he be any more confusing? First he basically told her that he came back to Earth for her, and now he was telling her that he did not regret leaving her behind.
Max seemed to hear the shock in her voice, because he quickly added, "But not for the reason you think. I never would have put you in that much danger."
She felt her heart soften. How did he always know exactly what to say? He had the most silver tongue Liz had ever encountered. But she forced herself to ignore that, focused on the meaning of what he had said.
He had been in danger. She had known it, but had not wanted to really accept the miracle that he had survived whatever it was that he had survived on Antar. Because recognizing the miracle would make her question whether she even had the right to deny him.
He had come back to her after all. Despite everything, this she knew. And, she realized, she needed to know exactly what that meant.
Liz swallowed, unsure if she wanted to ask, but knowing that she had to know what he had been through�what he had suffered to get back the child who meant everything to him. The child that had come between them. Ben, who Liz already felt such a connection too, it was almost worth it to have given up Max to ensure his safety.
"Was it very bad then?" she whispered, reaching out despite herself and putting her hand on his arm. She felt the muscle of his forearm contract under her touch, quickly pulled back. Max seemed not to notice, but Liz saw his eyes follow her hand longingly.
Oh no. How could the atmosphere change between them that quickly? How did this always happen? The air was charged with something she didn�t even want to begin to analyze.
But Max seemed to know this because he spoke, broke the moment.
"It was hell." There was a long pause. "Antar is not a pleasant place, Liz. It still isn�t, even though it�s ten million times better now than it was when I first got there."
"What happened?" He was so quiet, she added, "You don�t have to tell me if you don�t want to."
"It�s not that I don�t want to, Liz. I�ve always wanted to tell you everything. It�s just that�" He turned to look at her. "You have to promise me that you won�t tell Isabel and Michael. They can�t ever know what happened there."
Liz stared at him. The tone of his voice, it sent a shiver of dread down her spine. "I promise. But why?"
"Because they can�t know what we�re capable of. They just really can�t." Liz saw Max swallow, hard. "I had to do things there� Things I never would have been able to even imagine doing when I was here�even in the worst days with the FBI and the Skins."
"Like what?" She let her hand return to his arm, wanting to comfort him, even though she knew she shouldn�t do it. The haunted look in his eyes, the fact that it was always there, that she had seen it, even in her dreams� She could not let him deal with whatever it was that was tormenting him alone. Not Max. "Tell me," she insisted.
His voice shook as he said, "I don�t want you to hate me."
"I don�t hate you, Max. I�m mad as hell at you still, but you have to know that I don�t hate you." Liz knew it was true, couldn�t believe she was admitting it to him. It was dangerous to tell him this. It would give him hope, but something had irrevocably changed between them in the last few minutes, despite her best intentions.
She had told him that they could never be friends, but the irony was, they could never not be friends. They had always been friends�from before he had even saved her life. But when he had laid his hands on her that first time, disintegrating the bullet that had almost ended her life, patching a bullet hole that would have killed her, they had bonded in a way that could never be broken.
"I could never hate you," she whispered. And she couldn�t, just like he had never hated her, even after the Future Max fiasco, the Kyle debacle, after everything.
"Tell me," she repeated.
He sighed heavily, began. "You have to understand what it was like there, Liz. It was complete anarchy. Khivar supposedly sat on the throne, but he had no power, other than what he managed to wrangle through terror."
"I remember you told me that after the New York summit," Liz told him. "It was the reason they wanted you back with the dupes�because he could not bring peace to the planet or the star system." She couldn�t believe she was talking about interstellar politics so casually. It was absurd, and yet, everything associated with Max had always been strange.
Strange, yes, but weirdly exhilarating as well. Max had once asked her, "What�s so great about normal?" and she could not deny that half of his appeal had always been that he was so exotic, so different, and, yet, he had wanted her, the most boring and ordinary of girls.
"Right. Well, surprisingly, that was true." Max paused. "Something else was true too. Larek told me at the summit that I was a dreamer when I was Zan, that I had tried to change things too quickly. Apparently, I had been in the process of dissolving the monarchy when Khivar killed us all the first time around. I was trying to found some kind of democratic system, I guess. Most regular Antarians wanted it, except for the leaders of the other four planets, of course." He shook his head wryly. "It�s why they let Khivar usurp me in the first place. They didn�t want their planets to insist on democracy if Antar succeeded."
"Okay?" Liz frowned. "So, having you back, the process started again?"
"Not really. I wasn�t interested in the politics of Antar. I really did not care. All I wanted was to find my son and come home. Back to Earth," Max admitted. "I got pulled into it despite myself, because of what was going on with Ben."
"What?" Liz asked quietly.
"Khivar set him up as a puppet, hoping that the people would let him rule through Zan�s son. Tess even married Khivar."
"Did it work?" Liz grimaced to herself at the image of Tess sacrificing her own child because of her ambition.
"Not at all. In fact, unrest became even worse, because the planet could not tolerate that one of the Royal Four had turned. They wanted us all back and they wanted things back the way that had been before." Max shook his head. "The majority was not ready for democracy�then. They weren�t ready for the struggle that was necessary to make it happen. Zan was blind to what his people wanted though. It was why they originally didn�t really stop Khivar. It was only when things were a million times worse under him that they began to regret rejecting Zan�s ideals out of hand. Democracy was a lot more appealing than a government that was the equivalent of fascism on this planet. The democratic movement � under a different name of course, I�m just using Earth terms to make this easier to understand � was in full swing when I finally came out from underground."
"What happened?" Liz licked her lips, her eyes wide.
"I was trying to get to Ben this whole time, because the rebels were winning, which put him in extreme danger, but I couldn�t get anywhere near him. Khivar�s people knew I was on the planet. Langley went over to their side the minute we landed." Max shook his head. "He hated me that much, for destroying his life here. I don�t blame him actually. I was an arrogant fool�in both lives apparently."
"But I don�t understand, Max. If you were so arrogant, as Zan even, why did you want to give up your throne, bring democracy to the planet?"
Max quirked a grin at her. "You�re never going to believe this."
Liz stared at him. Why did he suddenly look so amused? She had thought that this was serious, horrible. And it sounded that way. But she recognized that his smile was not amused, so much as self-mocking. She frowned. "Why?"
"Because of a girl."