-Sebastian "The Asexual Icon" aka Craig Kilborn
"When I was young I once found a dirty magazine, and I felt a tingling sensation...NOWHERE!!!"
-Sebastian "The Asexual Icon" aka Craig Kilborn
"YEEEEEEEEEEER GAAAAAAAAAAY!!!"
-Noah Harkey
"How's your footwork?"
-Capt. Jack Sparrow aka Johnny Depp in the movie Pirates Of The Caribbean
"To envelopes with love, everytime I lick you you taste like a used sweat-sock, go get a flavor you foul-tasting bitch!!!"
-Craig Kilborn on the segment "To _______ With Love"
"Where's the Rally Monkey?"
-George W. Bush when the Anaheim Angels visited the White House
"We're going streaking!!!"
-Frank "The Tank" aka Will Ferrell in the movie Old School
"Suck-A-Dieeeeeeck!!!"
-Rico Johnson
"We'll cuddle, we'll cuddle, cuddle."
-Luke aka Zack Galifianakis in the movie Out Cold
"I don't like signatures."
-Scott Appleby after we offered him to get his Vendetta Red ticket autographed by Vendetta Red
"Ugghhhhh.......don't push me."
-Nerdy Mosher at the Vendetta Red Show while Vaux was playing
"It's an oval of red and the rest is black."
-David Forrester(myself) when describing the coloring of my right leg hair
"I wrote this joke while I was Febrezing my beard."
-Zack Galifianakis on Jimmy Kimmel Live
"This is like worse than a hanging."
-Rake Yohn describing "The Bungie Wedgie"
"Dude, you guys were hauling so much ass."
-Bam Margera talking to Johnny Knoxville & Ryan Dunn after they crashed their golf carts
"Clorofill more like Bore-o-fill!!!"
-Billy Madison aka Adam Sandler in the movie Billy Madison
"She was singing like this close to his cock."
-Mike Forrester when describing The Sounds performance on The Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn
"Thanks for the advice, asshole."
-John McClane in the movie Die Hard
"To the guy who adds "shizzle" and "dizzle" to everything with love. Why don't you do your job and get me a coff-izzle. You're about as gangster as Meryl Streep you little bitch!!!"
-Craig Kilborn in the segment "To _______ With Love"
"Craig, it was so bad, I had to see it twice just to make sure Madonna wasn't in it."
-Mike Gibbons when describing how bad the movie Gigli was
"Wha a duuuuuuuue?!?!?!"
-The Brad & Scott greet
"My dick's on fire."
-Walter Burke aka Al Pacino in the movie The Recruit
"No, fuck youuuuuuuuuuuuu!"
-Billy Bowe describing how the husband and wife would fight on the balcony at a Pennsylvania home
"Hey limp handshake not tonight, I have a headache."
-Sebastian "The Asexual Icon" aka Craig Kilborn
"My friend's bathroom had 'his' and 'her' bath towels, needless to say I drip-dried."
-Sebastian "The Asexual Icon" aka Craig Kilborn
"To Lake Erie Loop Circuit Breaker EH-273 with love, thanks for the blackout, you feeble, little bitch!!"
-Craig Kilborn on the segment "To _______ With Love"
"To Porridge with love, face it, your Oatmeal's bitch."
-Craig Kilborn on th segment "To _______ With Love"
"David Copperfield is a terrorist."
-Mike Gibbons
"Hey kids, don't try this at home, and by that I mean being an ass-wipe."
-Craig Kilborn warning kids about David Blaine's lame stunt
"I once saw a dog being neutered and I thought you are one lucky, lucky bastard."
-Sebastian "The Asexual icon" aka Craig Kilborn
"Talk to the hand."
-Arnold Schwartzenegger in Terminator 3
"I once spilled scolding hot tea on my lap, at least that's what the waiter told me."
-Sebastian "The Asexual Icon" aka Craig Kilborn
"I don't gamble on sports, because the word 'spread' makes me nervous."
-Sebastian "The Asexual Icon" aka Craig Kilborn
"Personal message to Bob Barker:You got the right idea, just the wrong species."
-Sebastian "The Asexual Icon" aka Craig Kilborn